Happier Abroad Forum Community

Hey everyone,

Since I moved to Thailand as a travel journalist, I now have a Thai girlfriend.

She is a waitress who I met away from Pattaya's massive prostitution subculture. I don't THINK she's a bar girl, but if she is or was, I don't really care. It would explain why she's such a goddess in bed. She's a little bit 'older' (27) and more 'average' by Thai standards--which means she's smoking hot by American standards (tall sexy etc, but being 'tall' is apparently a major vice in Thailand, as well as having dark skin versus light skin...very different culture, and so she's very self conscious that she's ugly)

Anyway, here's how she treats me:

- Makes me feel like a man
- Does not judge
- Does my nails (lol)
- Cooks for me
- Is expert massage therapist
- Really skilled in bed
- Does not ask for / want money

The last part is what's a bit unusual. EVERYONE warns me Thai women will come after your money. I'm OK with this IF I'm marrying the girl and have to pay her family the dowry...that's cool I understand that part, but if I'm not marrying her and she starts making up stories for me to dish out all my money to save some dying uncle... I'll have to say 'see you later', but I don't think it's going to happen.

The dark side of Thailand is that there are SOME girls who keep multiple boyfriends like this going, and extract money out of them. The catch is that it's mostly older British or European dudes who are victims. Many such guys have amazingly bad personalities, so the girl feels no pity, and are stupid enough to fall for these scams. These girls are evil because they prey on insecurities, but any man who is strong-minded will never be a victim. But there is enough victims out here that you continually hear stories about how terrible Thai women are.

Back to the girlfriend: she is obsessed with me partially because of my looks. I have delicate features, which is a turn-off in America, but in Asia I apparently look like the handsome actors on magazines and so I am apparently some kind of huge catch (at least that's what girls keep telling me). In America I've had girls tell me, to my face, I am ugly. Never, ever happens here. It's the opposite. My girl is very smart and pointed out the cultural differences (in America, sexy is Vin Diesel, in Thailand it's sensitive looking male soap opera stars).

So based on all of this: yes I vouch for the Happier Abroad thesis. If girlfriends in America or elsewhere treated their guys like this, you'd have a much happier culture that is more like, say, Thailand. When a girl tries to give this much--tending to a guys needs--it inspires me to give that much back to her. Western women just want to get, get, get and give nothing in return. And then guys do the same thing and the relationship falls apart.

MY CONCERN!

So this girl is going to be DEVASTATED when I go back to America in 4-5 months from now. Personally I've reached a point in my life where I achieved a kind of zen-like power in relationships: I have very few attachments, so I can say goodbye to her, appreciate our time together, and it will not negatively effect me. I think this is because I tend to live outside of the Matrix, so to speak.

But most girls, especially this girl, are not like that. She is already so emotionally attached to me that I'm afraid she's going to jump off a bridge when I leave. I don't want to call things off. She knows I will sometime leave, but I don' think she's faced it as a reality yet.

So has anyone else been in this situation and have any advice on how to deal with it?

Thanks in advance

That's great. May I ask you how you were able to find a job overseas? I've been trying my darnedest to escape the U.S. and find a job in Asia, but so far, I haven't gotten anything. I've tried applying to EPIK in Korea, and numerous teaching positions in Korea, China, and other countries, and I've been rejected to all of them so far. I've also tried to apply for some business positions, but since I have no experience, I'm at a disadvantage to other applicants. I'm kinda depressed about it to be honest. I'll keep trying, I guess, but how don't how much longer I can go without giving up and just trying to find work in the States.

zboy1 wrote:That's great. May I ask you how you were able to find a job overseas? I've been trying my darnedest to escape the U.S. and find a job in Asia, but so far, I haven't gotten anything. I've tried applying to EPIK in Korea, and numerous teaching positions in Korea, China, and other countries, and I've been rejected to all of them so far. I've also tried to apply for some business positions, but since I have no experience, I'm at a disadvantage to other applicants. I'm kinda depressed about it to be honest. I'll keep trying, I guess, but how don't how much longer I can go without giving up and just trying to find work in the States.

Unfortunately when you work for other people, you have to start small and aggressively market your accomplishments. A lot of people want teaching jobs, the people more likely to get it already have taught English before, or have degrees. If you had an English degree from any college and spent any time teaching English already, you can say "Look, I'm already a teacher, I know what I'm doing, plus I can speak some Korean and am passionate about the culture" and you'll get it.

For me a few hundred people applied to my current rather temporary job. I got it because I did some freelance journalism work in North Korea and that put me above every other candidate.

In the end, it may be better to lower your bar a little bit. I know somebody who moved to New Zealand with a job as a hotel receptionist. It's not as lofty as teaching English somewhere else but it worked.

I'll talk a lot more about this and making your own $$ in yet another ebook I am working on called "Quit Your Boring Job" but I doubt I'll be done with that for a couple of months:)

I can't advise you, but let us know what happens. You can try a long-distance r/ship, but I found these are a waste of time.

Cyrus wrote:Hey everyone,

Since I moved to Thailand as a travel journalist, I now have a Thai girlfriend.

She is a waitress who I met away from Pattaya's massive p4p subculture. I don't THINK she's a bar girl, but if she is or was, I don't really care. It would explain why she's such a goddess in bed. She's a little bit 'older' (27) and more 'average' by Thai standards--which means she's smoking hot by American standards (tall sexy etc, but being 'tall' is apparently a major vice in Thailand, as well as having dark skin versus light skin...very different culture, and so she's very self conscious that she's ugly)

Anyway, here's how she treats me:

- Makes me feel like a man
- Does not judge
- Does my nails (lol)
- Cooks for me
- Is expert massage therapist
- Really skilled in bed
- Does not ask for / want money

The last part is what's a bit unusual. EVERYONE warns me Thai women will come after your money. I'm OK with this IF I'm marrying the girl and have to pay her family the dowry...that's cool I understand that part, but if I'm not marrying her and she starts making up stories for me to dish out all my money to save some dying uncle... I'll have to say 'see you later', but I don't think it's going to happen.

The dark side of Thailand is that there are SOME girls who keep multiple boyfriends like this going, and extract money out of them. The catch is that it's mostly older British or European dudes who are victims. Many such guys have amazingly bad personalities, so the girl feels no pity, and are stupid enough to fall for these scams. These girls are evil because they prey on insecurities, but any man who is strong-minded will never be a victim. But there is enough victims out here that you continually hear stories about how terrible Thai women are.

Back to the girlfriend: she is obsessed with me partially because of my looks. I have delicate features, which is a turn-off in America, but in Asia I apparently look like the handsome actors on magazines and so I am apparently some kind of huge catch (at least that's what girls keep telling me). In America I've had girls tell me, to my face, I am ugly. Never, ever happens here. It's the opposite. My girl is very smart and pointed out the cultural differences (in America, sexy is Vin Diesel, in Thailand it's sensitive looking male soap opera stars).

So based on all of this: yes I vouch for the Happier Abroad thesis. If girlfriends in America or elsewhere treated their guys like this, you'd have a much happier culture that is more like, say, Thailand. When a girl tries to give this much--tending to a guys needs--it inspires me to give that much back to her. Western women just want to get, get, get and give nothing in return. And then guys do the same thing and the relationship falls apart.

MY CONCERN!

So this girl is going to be DEVASTATED when I go back to America in 4-5 months from now. Personally I've reached a point in my life where I achieved a kind of zen-like power in relationships: I have very few attachments, so I can say goodbye to her, appreciate our time together, and it will not negatively effect me. I think this is because I tend to live outside of the Matrix, so to speak.

But most girls, especially this girl, are not like that. She is already so emotionally attached to me that I'm afraid she's going to jump off a bridge when I leave. I don't want to call things off. She knows I will sometime leave, but I don' think she's faced it as a reality yet.

So has anyone else been in this situation and have any advice on how to deal with it?

Thanks in advance

Just let it be, do something nice for her, something memorable, like a trip together before you leave, and a nice gift. So she can hold her head up with people.

Btw, this is what I call a high-quality problem.