S_Parc wrote: I'm snipping out the Taiwanese bits (since I know little about it) but the relations you describe above is common among many of us. I have up to 20 or so references at this point in time for any job or contractual position.
And yes, it's important to get out there and get to know others. I do this all the time.
Realize this, however, there are lots of dysfunctional families and associations out there. Thus, being a so-called 'insider' isn't something that great. People are putting on fronts in front of each other all the time. I'd prefer to be a loner but have to behave in ways which make that less feasible for me.
I'm just having trouble understanding why you think the social gatherings have a need to use alcohol to generate some sense of belonging or enjoyment. When you go out with your coworkers, is it always to a sports bar?
When I get together with my coworkers or former coworkers, we take trips to ski resorts, Catalina island, or after-work gatherings at Curry House. I could've arranged the gatherings at a sports bar, but why do that when it's more fun to go snorkeling at Catalina? Sometimes you need to "manage" the direction of the social group so it ends up in times and places that you want, with the demographic & gender ratio that you like.
My coworkers: