Is Christian Morality and marriage the only thing that brings happiness?

[Kalinago]

I have been reading alot of articles on Rooshv.com and I can't disagree with any of his important and basic arguments.

https://www.rooshv.com/9-signs-youre-a-barbarian

https://www.rooshv.com/the-life-of-the- ... -pointless

Women who don’t serve the good fall in love with evil men
I really can’t think why she is so fond of me, especially since she’s the only woman who’s ever properly understood me and all my petty weaknesses and unhealthy passions. Can evil be so attractive?

[…]

I remember one woman who loved me simply because I was in love with someone else. There’s nothing more paradoxical than the female mind, and you can never convince a woman of anything—you have to arrange matters so that they convince themselves. The chain of reasoning they employ to overcome their own prejudices is extremely original, and if you want to master their dialectic you have to turn all the textbook rules of logic upside-down. For example, a normal approach would be: ‘This man loves me, but I’m married, so I mustn’t love him’. But a woman’s approach would be: ‘I mustn’t love him, because I’m married, but he loves me, so…’I have to use dots here, for now the voice of reason is silent, and it’s mainly the tongue, eyes and heart (if there is one) which do all the talking.

The narcissistic man runs away from commitment
However much I loved a woman, the first hint that she expected me to marry her would banish my love for good. My heart would turn to stone, its warmth gone for ever. I’ll make any sacrifice except this one. I’ll hazard my life, even my honour, twenty times, but I will not sell my freedom.

Why do I value it so much? What use is it to me? What am I preparing myself for? What do I expect from the future? Absolutely nothing.

I have this innate fear, this uncanny premonition. After all, some people are unaccountably afraid of spiders, cockroaches and mice.

The inner hell of a godless existence
I’ve been going over my past, and I can’t help wondering why I’ve lived, for what purpose I was born. There must have been some purpose, I must have had some high object in life, for I feel unbounded strength within me. But I never discovered it and was carried away by the allurements of empty, unrewarding passions. I was tempered in their flames and came out cold and hard as steel, but I’d lost for ever the fire of noble endeavor, that finest flower of life. How many times since then have I been the axe in the hands of fate? Like an engine of execution, I’ve descended on the heads of the condemned, often without malice, but always without pity. My love has brought no one happiness, for I’ve never sacrificed a thing for those I’ve loved. I’ve loved for myself, for my own pleasure, I’ve only tried to satisfy a strange inner need. I’ve fed on their feelings, love, joys and sufferings, and always wanted more. I’m like a starving man who falls asleep exhausted and sees rich food and sparking wines before him. He rapturously falls on these phantom gifts of the imagination and feels better, but the moment he wakes up his dream disappear and he’s left more hungry and desperate than before.

And perhaps tomorrow I’ll die, and then there’ll be no one who could ever really understand me. Some will think me worse, others better than in fact I am. Some will say I was a good fellow, others that I was a swine. Neither will be right. So why bother to live? One just goes on living out of curiosity, waiting for something new. It’s absurd and annoying.

https://www.rooshv.com/seduction-is-narcissism

It’s similar when a man is seducing a woman. A man will claim he is fornicating for the physical benefits alone, but he is all too eager to share tales of his conquests, highlighting his need for emotional validation concerning his masculine prowess. Sadly, I fornicated with many women in my past not because I strongly desired them, but because I wanted to bond with other men by sharing all the details of the seduction and be rewarded with their commendation or laughter. If you were to ask the old me why I dived so wholeheartedly into carnal sin, he would answer you thus: I want to feel good, I want to feel masculine, I want to have fun, I want to show off to other men, I want to assert my superiority over others or get their attention, I want to be challenged, I want to think of myself as special or skilled, I want to be popular, I want to be the hero of my own movie. It was all done for my pleasure and egotistical needs. The women were merely supporting characters in the play that I had written myself for myself. It was so easy to forget about them after a short time because they were a mere instrument of my own pride and self-love.

For women, seduction is a gourmet meal while for men it’s like a trip to McDonald’s. Men want something quick and easy that fills the belly without a long wait, which is why it’s so much more common for a man to “take one for the team” than a woman. A man is more likely to see hooking up with any woman as a replacement for masturbation instead of the potentially life-changing narrative that women may prescribe to it. In both cases, the world revolves around the seducer and what he or she wants. The degree of patience may vary, whereby women are usually more patient than men since their sexual urges are less acute, but both use the other to receive material benefits, whether to the ego or to the body, and any authentic love or generosity displayed is only done to continue receiving benefits, remaining always transactional without serving a higher purpose.

Subconsciously, you will seek out a woman who pleases you in the here and now, and since it’s typical that we attract a mate who is a mirror to our spiritual state, you will attract a narcissist if you’re a narcissist. You will attract an egomaniac if you’re an egomaniac. You will attract a woman who is unconsciously serving Satan if you’re already serving Satan. On the other hand, if you’re a God-pleaser, you will attract a God-pleaser, for a God-hater will find it torturous to be with a God-pleaser. From this reality, it’s clear to see that the solution to finding the best spouse is to work on an Orthodox faith that is pleasing to God, but how many women instead devote their free time to makeup, clothing, or secular entertainment? How many men spend untold hours building huge muscles in a quest to spam a hundred women on Tinder after uploading shirt-less photos? Such behavior is surely a sign that more spiritual work must be done, because it’s only when we transcend the selfish needs of our flesh do we mature enough to enter a marriage with God at the helm.

https://www.rooshv.com/secular-lifestyl ... ss-anxiety

If you pursue women for fornication, your anxieties will be endless. Are you attractive enough? Is your style fashionable? Do your biceps look big? Is the Tinder algorithm only showing you ugly women? Do you know what to say to an attractive woman? Did you build enough chemistry for her to desire seeing you again? Why is it taking so long for her to text back? Why did she disappear after sex? Did your body not satisfy her in bed? What is the itchy rash around your groin?

When you pursue sin, and that sin could be fornication, greed, or pride in the form of status, your life will become more about mitigating the problems that come from those pursuits than experiencing any sort of happiness you envisioned from the initial fantasy of being sexually successful, rich, or high status. If you think about how many books and online resources exist that teach men how to pickup girls (I wrote many), it’s clear that a goal of fornication is anything but “natural” if it’s defined as something that is inborn to our spirit and doesn’t require hundreds or thousands of failed attempts to get right. The same goes with money: many people are spending their entire lives mastering the art of getting dollar bills to reproduce, but they remain far from reproducing themselves.

[Kalinago]

Now imagine the incel. What do you think is going on in his mind every day? Sex. He wakes up in the morning and dwells on how he desires sex but can’t get it. He masturbates vigorously to porn day and night, cursing the world for his imposed celibacy. If he doesn’t talk about sex, he’s discussing women through the lens of sex, complaining about them being sluts, dishonorable, race-mixers, or what have you. He attacks men who are successful with women and wishes for society to burn to the ground because in that case, his odds of getting sex may increase. He’s not getting laid like the fornicator, but sex is no less on his mind.

The fornicator and incel are identical in that they are held hostage by their lust. They both believe that a woman can save their lives in some way, and therefore dedicate just about their entire mental outlook to women. The only meaningful difference is that the fornicator can at least occasionally get laid due to being better looking, more persistent, or more socially calibrated, but what type of outlook did most fornicators have before learning how to get laid? That of an incel.

I was an incel in high school and college. I lusted after women and were jealous of men who got laid. Then I learned game and became a renowned fornicator, but internally I was the same, still enslaved to my lust. If anything, getting laid made me even more enslaved because I developed an addiction to the physical aspect of sex, and did not want to regress back into being a “loser” who had to masturbate alone, as if there was no other option.

Sometimes when I see a man with big muscles, I think to myself, “Where is the little boy inside?” The muscles are just an outward physical covering that doesn’t change what is happening within his soul, for any increase in confidence a bodybuilder experiences will immediately evaporate if his muscles deflate. He stays in the gym not necessarily because he enjoys it, but because he’s scared of going back to possessing a normal body and having to look at the little boy in the mirror. His confidence is false, and it’s the same with the fornicator.



When you look at a modern Don Juan, ask yourself: where is the incel inside? Where is the man who wanted his dream woman but couldn’t get her, and moved mountains to “improve” himself in order to receive the consolation prize of sex with promiscuous women? He may feel more confident now, but that confidence is totally dependent on a woman saying yes to his advances. It takes just one cold streak of no sex and the little boy will reveal himself in a frustrated panic. Whether a man sleeps with a few women or a few hundred, you will see the incel again from just a week or two of bad responses from women.

As long as you are enslaved to your lust and the intimacy you hope to receive, it matters not whether your classification is player or incel. Both are obsessed with sex, and while the player is lucky or skilled enough to participate in the carnal act, they are more similar than they would like to admit. They are both immature boys, because you cannot mature as a man if you spend your adulthood feeding your vices and being enslaved to your passions. Simply ask me how I was a 39-year-old boy, and I will tell you.

Outside of marriage, only the man who is celibate through his free will (i.e. he is a practicing Christian) is different from the fornicator and incel in both substance and spirit. The Christian man is not dependent on the responses of women to make him feel good or confident. With God’s help, he has minimized or entirely removed lust as his master to turn away from the type of sin that can lead to judgement. He is celibate because he wants to please his Creator and be a good steward of his soul, which means the demotion of his bodily desires along with other concerns of the world. Meanwhile, the fornicator or incel cannot see beyond the tips of their erections. The entire world must be framed around sexual attraction and a distorted perception of human value, just to abuse their bodies for fleeting pleasure. I know this being I lived it, publicly, for so long.

When I was in Austin, Texas, I met a man in an Orthodox church who was about the same age as me. He said that he found pickup around the time The Game came out, before I wrote my first pickup book Bang. He tried to learn game, and got a handful of dates, but was rather unsuccessful at it. Instead of turning to another game guru for help, or to pornography, he turned to God. He received God’s grace and met his wife not long after. There in the church were four of his children. How I wish at that moment that I was also bad at game! But no, I was good at it, because I was so crazed for sex that I would do everything to ensure success. Each new bang kept me in the game, and next thing I knew, eighteen years of my life had passed me by, and the only “children” I accumulated were stuffed animals in the backseat of my car.



It turns out that the incel is better off than the fornicator, because while he may be a vigorous masturbator, he does not fornicate, so he sins less in the eyes of God. He sustains less damage to his soul and is therefore closer to receiving His grace than a man who is puffed up with an unwarranted ego just because he can sleep with fallen women he meets in bars or through Tinder.

My sexual “success” gave me so much pride that I never thought I needed God to save me, but that success was actually a massive failure, down to every last bang which I have prayed to forget. These acts helped push me down such a dark pit that only direct divine intervention could lift me back up. I wish that when I was frustrated about sex, instead of turning to pickup to save me, I turned to God instead. I wish I asked Him to help me with my lust and to send me a woman if it serves His will instead of being directed by my own passions and remaining a little boy for so long.

This mirrors my own self.I was resentful against God because of my life conditions,and wanted 'freedom'.

I deep down thought I could never have a 'good'woman that I'm also very attracted to,so I compensated with seeking fornication,prostitution and I became a hollow shell.

[Kalinago]

8. You’re fallen for numerous globalist lies, if not all of them


Barbarians are a puppet of their oligarch slavemasters, falling for most of their lies. To my great shame, I fell for many lies, including casual sex, fame-seeking, urban Cosmopolitan living, being attractive through personality and physical changes, alcohol, caffeine, and seeking “experiences and memories” through travel. If money can be made through sin, a big business that is supported by an oligarch is not far.

If someone does not have God in their life, they’re susceptible to falling for the biggest lies, and who is in charge of the lies today but the princes of this world, who know that the further you are away from God, the more likely you will be their slave.

9. You hope for a better life in this life


To the barbarian, tomorrow will be better. They will gain more in life, have more sex, conquer something new, attain more power, and from these achievements all their problems will be solved. They believe today is just a waystation to a more glorious earthly future that will come from their own intellect and effort, but what actually happens is they become dopamine chasers, pursuing pathetic bursts of a neurochemical just to get through another hour due to the lack of God in their life.


Excellent article. I've found #3 to be one of the most common misconceptions among my peers.

"If it feels good, do it!" Is the prevailing mantra of our age...

Sad. Not just because sexual liberation is a form of political control as EMJ has pointed out, but on a deeper level, the idea that discipline alone is something stifling your 'best self', something archaic that should be dispensed with.

“Thus, a good man, though a slave, is free; but a wicked man, though a king, is a slave. For he serves, not one man alone, but what is worse, as many masters as he has vices.”​

[Pixel--Dude]

I don't find anything particularly insightful in anything Roosh posts. The Christian morality and marriage aren't necessarily the only things that bring happiness. I am with a girl I love and although I would be willing to marry her for this reason, her company and companionship alone are enough to bring me happiness.

Even if I were to marry her, we agreed we would have a pagan joining of the hands ceremony, oppose to the rigid traditional Christian marriage. @Lucas88 would obviously be my best man! And although he's not a fan of marriage, I think he would enjoy a pagan style wedding.

[Cornfed]

The basic plan for a good life is well known. Ascend the hierarchy within your united quality community, serve your people in line with God's word, marry a good wife, raise good children, master your trade, be a righteous man and be respected and financially rewarded for being so. Anything else is fairly tragic. The fact that you can't do this in the evil West is the reason it must all be put to the sword.

[Kalinago]

I don't find anything particularly insightful in anything Roosh posts. The Christian morality and marriage aren't necessarily the only things that bring happiness. I am with a girl I love and although I would be willing to marry her for this reason, her company and companionship alone are enough to bring me happiness.

Even if I were to marry her, we agreed we would have a pagan joining of the hands ceremony, oppose to the rigid traditional Christian marriage. @Lucas88 would obviously be my best man! And although he's not a fan of marriage, I think he would enjoy a pagan style wedding.

https://www.rooshv.com/secular-marriage ... n-marriage

Secular Marriage vs. Christian Marriage
FAITH RELATIONSHIPS WOMEN JULY 6, 2020 10 COMMENTS ROOSH

God has been removed from the institution of marriage in the West. Marriage has changed from glorying God and becoming one flesh with your spouse to maximizing material rewards and having a “good” life. Because it was God who invented marriage for us, this secular change has not only blasphemed the institution but also deceived all those who wish to get married under the new paradigm. It’s no surprise how difficult it is—if not impossible—to have a successful marriage without placing God at its center.

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What are the most common reasons that secular men get married today? One is access to sex. Not every man is a pickup artist who can get dates every weekend. For most men, dating is tedious, and those who are skilled at it have to treat it like a part-time job, often uprooting themselves for the best access to women, but for the average man, having sex with only one attractive girl is enough. He can’t wait to marry to lock in an assured supply of sex, but it will just be a matter of time until that sex gets boring. Many years into the marriage, he may wish to have sex with anyone but his wife, assuming she still wants to have sex with him.

The second reason men get married is to not be alone. No one wants to grow old alone, be sick alone, or die alone, and while this is a fear more common with women, many men have shared with me that this is the reason they are looking for a wife. They will enter marriage not to achieve a positive but to avoid a negative. Their wife selection will be driven by unresolved anxiety, not the virtue of the woman, and just like with sex, you will adapt to the person and no longer see them as your personal savior against loneliness or whatever fear you have. Within a few years of marriage, you will start to limit the amount of time you spend at home and wish you stayed alone, especially if you married the wrong woman.



Another reason to get married is to have children. Now this seems like a great reason, because bringing life into this world must be meaningful, but children are hard to raise with the wrong person, and children don’t remain children for long. Within secular households, pop culture kidnaps them in their teenage years and turns them into little demons of rebellion. They go to universities, where they can perfect all the sex they were exposed to through movies and pornography, especially if they’re female. Otherwise, they become gay, trans, cyborg, or whatever new trend destroys them most effectively. Then they move to a big city far away from home to shower in pleasures of the world. Talk to any boomer parents and they will tell you the “silence” that is their homes. They feel a void that cannot be filled unless grandchildren happen to live close by, which in this rootless society is usually not the case. Much of the joy you receive from your children will have to be given back when the nest is empty or when they pursue lives you don’t approve of.

One final reason to get married, and perhaps the worst, is because you’re “in love,” which in reality is a state of heightened emotional attraction that is closer to lust than love. You are enjoying sex with an attractive girl who excites you and are convinced it will last for all eternity. In this case, you’re blinded by your lust and are totally unable to properly evaluate the woman. Either you commit to a woman of dubious repute or the strong emotions you thought you had changes for the negative, or it changes for her, and then you have no relationship foundation to stand on.

The material reasons I’ve described above will all fail you in time. You will get tired of the woman and her sex, you will feel empty and unappreciated once the children leave the house and no longer need you, and your feelings for the woman you had initial passion for will fade. Many men logically understand this and so have decided against marriage, because with these inevitable downsides, where are the upsides? Why should a man sign on the dotted line to legally declare himself as the provider of another human being who will not excite him or take care of him in the future? Materially, the reasons to get married are sparse, but how about spiritually?

Orthodox Saints have taught that when a man and woman get married, they create a little church with the man as the priest and the woman serving by his side. The purpose of this church will be for them to aid in each other’s salvation, and also aid in the salvation of children who are borne through them (the laity) as one united body that serves the Lord within a bigger united body of the parish church they attend on Sundays. If you’re in communion with God and believe it is His will for you to marry a certain woman, He has deemed that this marriage is necessary for the salvation of you both, and that without this specific marriage, the course of your life or hers will turn out in a way to increase the likelihood of condemnation. There is little material reason to get married in the Christian sense, and because it’s so hard, especially in a post-Christian world, I’ve even read multiple priests state that such a marriage is a form of martyrdom, a way to exceedingly please the Lord.

In a Christian marriage, will it matter that you are bored of sex with the same person? You will know that sex was given to you by God to bond with your wife and create children, not a source of entertainment where you can treat your wife’s body like an amusement park. If you get tired of her, or she attempts to drive you crazy, is that a reason to get upset and divorce her? No, it’s time to pray to God for endurance and tranquility, because you never married her out of a fear that you would grow old and die alone. If your children leave the nest, will you be upset? You’ll miss them surely, but your main concern would be their salvation and whether you gave them a proper spiritual foundation to escape the devil’s many snares. If you lose romantic attraction for your wife, does that mean disaster? You never based your relationship on romantic attraction in the first place. The love you have for your wife will transcend matters of passion or lust that secular people primarily use, and instead become more of a spiritual love.

I agree that getting married in the secular sense is pointless, especially since sex and short-term companionship are being given away by women so readily to those men who want it bad enough. You can even experience a “married-lite” scenario through cohabitation and have a pair of Instagram-ready dogs to satisfy your nurturing instinct, and now with unlimited entertainment options, you’ll always have the warm glows of your digital screens to stave off relationship boredom, but if you do get married for secular reasons and have children, I feel sorry for them. You won’t pray for them or give them moral guidance that is not heavily influenced by today’s state ideologies of individualism, materialism, and homosexuality. Creating life for purely selfish reasons may even make you a murderer of any soul you create, and while I harbor no ill will towards my parents, their secular outlook didn’t do me any favors when I became an adult. The world took me, used me up, and hung me over the edge of the abyss.

[Outcast9428]

There are some very good insights here... Especially with the following...

I’ll hazard my life, even my honour, twenty times, but I will not sell my freedom.

Why do I value it so much? What use is it to me? What am I preparing myself for? What do I expect from the future? Absolutely nothing.

Yes it has confused me for years why people seem to prioritize "their freedom" so much to the point that they'll accept an empty, lonely existence where they genetically fail to continue their bloodline or if they do technically continue it, will have no input in the raising of their child. That's like moving to Antarctica and shivering in the cold all the time and having nothing to do all day and saying "but at least I have my freedom, no laws can effect me here."

It’s similar when a man is seducing a woman. A man will claim he is fornicating for the physical benefits alone, but he is all too eager to share tales of his conquests, highlighting his need for emotional validation concerning his masculine prowess. Sadly, I fornicated with many women in my past not because I strongly desired them, but because I wanted to bond with other men by sharing all the details of the seduction and be rewarded with their commendation or laughter. If you were to ask the old me why I dived so wholeheartedly into carnal sin, he would answer you thus: I want to feel good, I want to feel masculine, I want to have fun, I want to show off to other men, I want to assert my superiority over others or get their attention, I want to be challenged, I want to think of myself as special or skilled, I want to be popular, I want to be the hero of my own movie. It was all done for my pleasure and egotistical needs. The women were merely supporting characters in the play that I had written myself for myself. It was so easy to forget about them after a short time because they were a mere instrument of my own pride and self-love.

This is a big thing that turned me against hookup culture at my college... I realized the whole thing was a scam. People don't hookup for the reasons the media acts like they do. Its not fun, its not rewarding, its not really that pleasurable even. People hookup to brag. To brag to their friends, to achieve status. They go through all that trouble for something which provides nothing substantive to your life.

If you pursue women for fornication, your anxieties will be endless. Are you attractive enough? Is your style fashionable? Do your biceps look big? Is the Tinder algorithm only showing you ugly women? Do you know what to say to an attractive woman? Did you build enough chemistry for her to desire seeing you again? Why is it taking so long for her to text back? Why did she disappear after sex? Did your body not satisfy her in bed? What is the itchy rash around your groin?

And here is why I do not take the advice, and suggest that others not take the advice either of people advising that men need to be dominant or "primally masculine" in order to get women. If a man focuses on building that, you can look forward to a lifetime of anxiety. Because the minute you stop being the strong, tough guy with no feelings or weaknesses, your woman will leave you. And believe me, you are going to screw up at some point. Or else, always being the tough, macho man will drive you insane. Women who are attracted to that kind of guy are not good women. Primally feminine women believe it is their prerogative to constantly seek out the strongest mate. Watch documentaries like Planet Earth or Life and you will find that women who go for that kind of guy behave exactly the same way as the animals in those documentaries do. You will never be able to be yourself, you will never be able to truly confess that you love your wife, you will never be allowed to have feelings, or be a human being. You will forever be expected to act as some kind of permanent security guard who can f**k but who's abilities and strength are constantly tested every single day by your woman to see if you're still strong enough for her.

When watching those documentaries with my girlfriend... I thanked God I did not choose to go down the route that PUAs tell you to. That I have a girlfriend who loves everything about me, who lets me be myself, who I can be soft and a bit emotional around, who I can be very romantic, a bit sensitive, and affectionate with, who doesn't lose attraction to me because I like being nice to her in a manner that most women consider "beta" nowadays. A girl who doesn't expect me to act like the cold playboy who can replace her any minute. A girl who becomes more attracted to me because I tell her that I never want to be without her instead of losing attraction to me. Every quirk we have, we compliment on another on and tell each other is cute. We never say "oh that's weird" or lose attraction over stupid stuff. We love one another's quirks and tell each other every time the other does something we find cute.

The traditionalist advice does not work on most women, I am well aware of that. The point I have made, and continue to make, is that the kind of women that successful "game" attracts are bad women who, ironically, are objectifying you. They are objectifying you in the sense that they want you to be this constantly strong and tough warrior who has no soft to him, who doesn't need her, can replace her anytime and only lets her be around for as long as she amuses him. That is no way for a man to live. A man needs someone to express his soft side to, and no man wants to express that side of himself towards other men. Women have always been the natural nurturers of society, and to men. Women were the ones that men expressed their soft side towards, and traditionally, women enjoyed it because as a culture, we taught them to. We taught them that that was their role in society. Their role was to be the nurturers. The man goes out, he labors in the field all day, and he comes back to a nice, warm, soft environment where he can relax and feel at peace. That's the purpose of the traditionalist setup.

And yes, a man will always attract the kind of woman to him that he himself is. That is why you must conquer your vices, because if you cannot conquer them you will attract a woman who shares your vices. When looking at yourself you must think to yourself "would I marry the female version of me?" If you would not do that, then your marriage will be a failure because you will attract a woman with the same vices as you and thus be forever doomed to singledom.

[Outcast9428]

I don't find anything particularly insightful in anything Roosh posts. The Christian morality and marriage aren't necessarily the only things that bring happiness. I am with a girl I love and although I would be willing to marry her for this reason, her company and companionship alone are enough to bring me happiness.

Even if I were to marry her, we agreed we would have a pagan joining of the hands ceremony, oppose to the rigid traditional Christian marriage. @Lucas88 would obviously be my best man! And although he's not a fan of marriage, I think he would enjoy a pagan style wedding.

https://www.rooshv.com/secular-marriage ... n-marriage

Secular Marriage vs. Christian Marriage
FAITH RELATIONSHIPS WOMEN JULY 6, 2020 10 COMMENTS ROOSH

God has been removed from the institution of marriage in the West. Marriage has changed from glorying God and becoming one flesh with your spouse to maximizing material rewards and having a “good” life. Because it was God who invented marriage for us, this secular change has not only blasphemed the institution but also deceived all those who wish to get married under the new paradigm. It’s no surprise how difficult it is—if not impossible—to have a successful marriage without placing God at its center.

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SUBSCRIBE
What are the most common reasons that secular men get married today? One is access to sex. Not every man is a pickup artist who can get dates every weekend. For most men, dating is tedious, and those who are skilled at it have to treat it like a part-time job, often uprooting themselves for the best access to women, but for the average man, having sex with only one attractive girl is enough. He can’t wait to marry to lock in an assured supply of sex, but it will just be a matter of time until that sex gets boring. Many years into the marriage, he may wish to have sex with anyone but his wife, assuming she still wants to have sex with him.

The second reason men get married is to not be alone. No one wants to grow old alone, be sick alone, or die alone, and while this is a fear more common with women, many men have shared with me that this is the reason they are looking for a wife. They will enter marriage not to achieve a positive but to avoid a negative. Their wife selection will be driven by unresolved anxiety, not the virtue of the woman, and just like with sex, you will adapt to the person and no longer see them as your personal savior against loneliness or whatever fear you have. Within a few years of marriage, you will start to limit the amount of time you spend at home and wish you stayed alone, especially if you married the wrong woman.



Another reason to get married is to have children. Now this seems like a great reason, because bringing life into this world must be meaningful, but children are hard to raise with the wrong person, and children don’t remain children for long. Within secular households, pop culture kidnaps them in their teenage years and turns them into little demons of rebellion. They go to universities, where they can perfect all the sex they were exposed to through movies and pornography, especially if they’re female. Otherwise, they become gay, trans, cyborg, or whatever new trend destroys them most effectively. Then they move to a big city far away from home to shower in pleasures of the world. Talk to any boomer parents and they will tell you the “silence” that is their homes. They feel a void that cannot be filled unless grandchildren happen to live close by, which in this rootless society is usually not the case. Much of the joy you receive from your children will have to be given back when the nest is empty or when they pursue lives you don’t approve of.

One final reason to get married, and perhaps the worst, is because you’re “in love,” which in reality is a state of heightened emotional attraction that is closer to lust than love. You are enjoying sex with an attractive girl who excites you and are convinced it will last for all eternity. In this case, you’re blinded by your lust and are totally unable to properly evaluate the woman. Either you commit to a woman of dubious repute or the strong emotions you thought you had changes for the negative, or it changes for her, and then you have no relationship foundation to stand on.

The material reasons I’ve described above will all fail you in time. You will get tired of the woman and her sex, you will feel empty and unappreciated once the children leave the house and no longer need you, and your feelings for the woman you had initial passion for will fade. Many men logically understand this and so have decided against marriage, because with these inevitable downsides, where are the upsides? Why should a man sign on the dotted line to legally declare himself as the provider of another human being who will not excite him or take care of him in the future? Materially, the reasons to get married are sparse, but how about spiritually?

Orthodox Saints have taught that when a man and woman get married, they create a little church with the man as the priest and the woman serving by his side. The purpose of this church will be for them to aid in each other’s salvation, and also aid in the salvation of children who are borne through them (the laity) as one united body that serves the Lord within a bigger united body of the parish church they attend on Sundays. If you’re in communion with God and believe it is His will for you to marry a certain woman, He has deemed that this marriage is necessary for the salvation of you both, and that without this specific marriage, the course of your life or hers will turn out in a way to increase the likelihood of condemnation. There is little material reason to get married in the Christian sense, and because it’s so hard, especially in a post-Christian world, I’ve even read multiple priests state that such a marriage is a form of martyrdom, a way to exceedingly please the Lord.

In a Christian marriage, will it matter that you are bored of sex with the same person? You will know that sex was given to you by God to bond with your wife and create children, not a source of entertainment where you can treat your wife’s body like an amusement park. If you get tired of her, or she attempts to drive you crazy, is that a reason to get upset and divorce her? No, it’s time to pray to God for endurance and tranquility, because you never married her out of a fear that you would grow old and die alone. If your children leave the nest, will you be upset? You’ll miss them surely, but your main concern would be their salvation and whether you gave them a proper spiritual foundation to escape the devil’s many snares. If you lose romantic attraction for your wife, does that mean disaster? You never based your relationship on romantic attraction in the first place. The love you have for your wife will transcend matters of passion or lust that secular people primarily use, and instead become more of a spiritual love.

I agree that getting married in the secular sense is pointless, especially since sex and short-term companionship are being given away by women so readily to those men who want it bad enough. You can even experience a “married-lite” scenario through cohabitation and have a pair of Instagram-ready dogs to satisfy your nurturing instinct, and now with unlimited entertainment options, you’ll always have the warm glows of your digital screens to stave off relationship boredom, but if you do get married for secular reasons and have children, I feel sorry for them. You won’t pray for them or give them moral guidance that is not heavily influenced by today’s state ideologies of individualism, materialism, and homosexuality. Creating life for purely selfish reasons may even make you a murderer of any soul you create, and while I harbor no ill will towards my parents, their secular outlook didn’t do me any favors when I became an adult. The world took me, used me up, and hung me over the edge of the abyss.

This part, on the other hand, is where Roosh V loses me.

Who says that sex will get boring? I've talked to boomers who have maintained an active, monogamous sex life into their 60s. No affairs, no weird kinky stuff necessary. Love for your wife will sustain your interest through the years. You don't have to "accept that sex will become boring" as he seems to believe. There is nothing wrong with a husband and wife taking pleasure in each other's bodies. Part of the reason you marry is for that purpose. As far as kids go, it is not inevitable that your kids will become horrible liberals/leftists. Myself, and all of my siblings turned out conservative. My parents have a success rate of 3/3. Given that only 40% of people in Virginia are conservative, that's a pretty good success rate.

You can raise good, conservative children by not being an excessively strict or petty parent who treats "conservatism" as license to be a tyrant to your kids. Many leftists I've noticed came from families who's parents were completely abusive and tyrannical and this disillusioned them on the concept of family values. Raise them in a way that shows them how family values is designed to give them the best chance of success they can have. That the relationship between parent and child is reciprocal, and that the parent lays out rules not to be a fun hating tyrant but to protect the child. Never hit your kids for any reason. Always have a proper punishment that fits the crime but do not be an overly permissive, pushover either. Make sure the boundaries and rules you set are honored.

God wants people to be happy, marriage and family is supposed to make you happy. It is not intended to be a solely religious duty and nothing more.

[Outcast9428]

For a man who runs his mouth about the virtues of marriage and traditionalism as much as Rooshv has done in recent years, I'm always surprised by the fact that he is still unmarried and childless well into his forties. I would not be surprised to find out all of his recent stances are just lip service to conservatism while he still lives a life of debauchery on the low.

No, I can tell that his rants are completely genuine. Nobody who doesn't genuinely feel this way would be able to accurately point out how horrible living a life of promiscuity really is. To show how this "life of freedom" in reality turns your life into a tortured existence. He is basically telling people, don't learn "game," don't go down the PUA path, because that's not how you find happiness nor is it how you find romantic and sexual satisfaction.

He wonders in one of those paragraphs what the purpose of his life was. I'd say, it is to help destroy the rotten hookup culture which has taken over much of the world. To show everybody, through the damage it has inflicted on him, how this supposed "life of fun and freedom" is really a trap designed to make you more lonely and miserable then you could ever imagine being. In some ways, I agree with him that the incel is marginally better off then a man who constantly has one night stands. The incel never goes through the pain of having sex with a girl, see her walk out the door and know that she's gone forever. To have his heart broken, in a small way, dozens of times... Over and over again. Only to be back to being alone in his apartment, doomed to the knowledge that he has no choice but to wait, a week? Weeks? Months? Who knows, until the next time he can briefly relieve the pain of his lonely existence for an hour? Two hours? Maybe if he's lucky she'll spend the night... Only to have his chance of long term happiness walk out the door yet again. To experience that feeling of heart break again. Eventually I imagine a man grows numb to it, and is terrified when he realizes he is so used to pain that it doesn't phase him anymore. Almost like a veteran of war who has seen death so many times and has seen his comrades fall around him so often he is incapable of forming bonds anymore with his fellow men because of the knowledge that anyone he grows attached to will simply be lost. In a similar vein is loses the ability to attach himself to a woman after seeing so many women walk out the door, for he has trained his subconscious to believe any woman who comes will be lost.

What a tragic, horrifying existence.

[Outcast9428]

I’d go so far as to classify men who are single and have lots of one night stands or f**k buddies as pseudo celibates. It’s basically the same as being an incel. Both lifestyles are lonely and misery inducing although for different reasons.