Another European commits suicide :(

[drronnie]

I hear about expats in thailand commit suicide because the local thai girl just used them or cheat on them. I think the expats that go to Asia are two types.
1. Lonely western guys who think the grass is greener on the other side and have this fantasy that Asian women are suppose to be easier .
2. Guys who just want to exploit the red light district and live it up.

I think the first type of guys are looking for romance thinking that Asian women are this submissive women that does everything but when they realize that it doesn't work out they get really disappointed.

The stereotype of western foreign men and maybe to some extent wealthy Asian men that go to these countries is that you have money and you are there only for the red light district. I mean if you think about it allot of the expats that go there are there for that reason. Most decent girls would stay away from the sex pats and at the ssame time the only main desirability traits that expats give off is there wealth.

I wonder why do expats still insist on going to certain parts of Asia . It's more fantasy than reality.

Fact is that most Thai women do prefer Thai men and the middle age Western men end up with some singles mothers or someone from the red light. From my observation most Thai women are with guys roughly their age.

[drronnie]

I hear about expats in thailand commit suicide because the local thai girl just used them or cheat on them. I think the expats that go to Asia are two types.
1. Lonely western guys who think the grass is greener on the other side and have this fantasy that Asian women are suppose to be easier .
2. Guys who just want to exploit the red light district and live it up.

About which country in Asia are you talking? About which kind of expat are you talking?

Many expats from Europe and USA in Asia have an employment contract with a foreign company etc. and are doing well or they are retired and have no financial problems.

The problem is starting if expats (usually male 'dreamer-expats', rarely female expats) cannot control their financial situation and are running totally out of money. They can only blame themselves for their own - but wrong - decisions.

Compared to the number of Western foreigners in general, people into suicide are however rather rare. This is extreme, a tiny minority.

Most of them are leaving by themselves, some are forced to leave by authorities, some others change from money wasting for girls into lonely poverty life-style with alcohol, etc. etc.

I often met expats and told them what to do and what better not to do, but those people are totally unwilling to listen and to use their brain.

Some expats are ending up somewhere in an Asian village as an illegal, visa/passport expired, abandoned, owning nothing...

If you are such a love-blind idiot in Thailand and buy your girlfriend (my bargirl is different!) a huge land-plot and big house in her name in her rural village instead of buying yourself a beach condominium in your name, and everything goes wrong, then what? Sorry, I cannot help those men.

Interesting is that these Thai women usually use the money from Western "love idiots" and give that top their family and even finance their real Thai husband who usually is a dead beat. Example I know someone who got money from 5 international boyfriends, but when they were out of town she was with her Thai husband / boyfriend.

[chanta76]

drronnie,

You have to also look at it from the Thai women perspective. On the average the expats that go to Thailand or the Philippines are older western men and I think this also applies to wealthy Asian men who goes there. I mean if your a good looking young white guy and can get girls locally ..Why would you travel half way around the world for p***y ?

So the quality of the expat are not the greatest..for thai women. At the same time when an expat goes to Thailand what does he do? He goes to Nana plaza or Soi Cowboy or those massage places...it's quiet common for the expats to sleep around with various bars girls..and maybe settle down with his favorite bar girls.thinking she is different .

It's like karma...you reap what you sow. Expat use thai women and thai women use expat...

I mean there are lonely western guys who do look for genuine girls...but the reputation of expats are just like the reputation of the bar girls..it's unfortunate that's why I have issues with mongers..I heard that 30 years ago Thailand wasn't like that I mean there was always the red light district but it was easier to find decent girls nowadays it's like you might have better shot back at home.

Regarding thai men...The bottom line is it's all about connection...I think in some cases a because of the language , culture and maybe age range the thai girl feels more connected to the Thai men. If a farang can replicate the same type of connection he would have no trouble getting a genuine thai girl friend. And in some cases it does happen.

[Yohan]

Hi there! I have been reading this forum for some time and thought it is become time to register and post my two cents. I am Thai student who has lived in Australia and I do criticize the exaggerated materialism in Thai society. But the OP comes across as a little too pessimistic and I see he has some disdain about Thai women seeing he posts at least 10 threads bashing Thai women. He is half Thai and probably can speak Thai so he should frequent more in Thai circles.

Believe it or not even poor Thai students get decent looking girlfriends and one cannot blame everything on materialism.

Yes, he can speak Thai, but he has only a low income as an office employee as far as I know.

I often told him to look around in neighbouring countries, why MUST his girlfriend be Thai? In Thailand are many other foreign women, who are far away from being rich, from Myanmar, Cambodia, Philippines etc. etc. I think, this would be easier for him. He seems to be a rather shy person.

I do not agree with you however, that any poor Thai student gets a decent looking girlfriend.

I am a foreigner from Europe, with good income, and I never met in Thailand a woman (of any age) who (or her parents and other relatives) did not immediately ask for money from me. It's Thai life-style. No money = even unwilling to start any conversation.

Many Thai women are highly materialistic and quite different from women in Malaysia, Philippines and Japan.

[chanta76]

Yohan,

How did you do it? I mean how did you get a good income in Japan? What do you do?

[tamdrin12]

Yohann.. That must be how Thai women view older men. However it is not true, in my experience as a younger man of 31 years. I have met and dated several Thai women and not one has directly asked me for money of any kind. I have paid for small dinners and drinks but that is it. I assume that if you are older they just look at you as a walking ATM machine. And why wouldn't they?

[chanta76]

tamdrin12,

Do thai women only give a free ride for the foreign young guys? Or do they want money from local thai guys and older expats?

[Yohan]

Yohan,
How did you do it? I mean how did you get a good income in Japan? What do you do?

OK, about myself -
I am working for an European-Japanese trading related company in the Tokyo office, which means to prepare events, fairs, looking into legal issues, introducing companies from both regions to each other, translating, etc. I am service staff since over 20 years.

What I need for my work - I must be fluent in spoken and written German, English and Japanese, other languages are also useful - I have to read some Chinese, sometimes also there are visitors who prefer French.

I need a Japanese C (truck)+ D (bus) driving licence, as there are often heavy cargo and groups up to 30 visitors to handle.

I am certified technician by the Japanese Electric Houseware Association since about 25 years. I am still healthy, but sometimes it's not so easy with plenty of heavy cartons full with printed matter, food samples, machinery parts etc. etc. I am now in Japan since 1976, and before I was in Malaysia in 1972, ready now to retire within the next 2 years.
My wife is Japanese, but I was never using a spouse visa, I always had my own working permit, later on I became a permanent Japanese resident, but I am holding EU-citizenship.

The problem with my work - very irregular working hours. Also time-difference between Japan and Europe is a problem.
The advantage with my work - good pay and there are dead (winter, summer) and high seasons (spring, autumn), so I enjoy long fully paid vacation - up to 7 weeks a year - which I spend usually in Thailand together with my wife and in Philippines together with my Filipina fosterdaughter.

[Yohan]

Yohann.. That must be how Thai women view older men. However it is not true, in my experience as a younger man of 31 years. I have met and dated several Thai women and not one has directly asked me for money of any kind. I have paid for small dinners and drinks but that is it. I assume that if you are older they just look at you as a walking ATM machine. And why wouldn't they?

So you paid for some little food and drinks, and what was next? I am not sure, are you still single or are you married or living together with a Thai woman?

Yes, I am not young anymore, but I am visiting Thailand since about 40 years frequently. I also have 2 condominiums in Thailand.
My problem is I am not much interested in tonal languages, and I am fully occupied with other languages, not always conversation in Thailand is easy for me.

But I can only say that I met many Thai women in my life, as young as 15 and as old as 55, poor with nothing but a bag with a few items in it, or rich with huge housing and income over baht 200.000,-, stupid without any education or highly academic educated up to a medical doctorate - but the talk was always ending about asking money from me.

The farang as walking ATM machine is well known also among other foreign tenants who are living in the same building as I do in Thailand. I know for example some crew members retired from Canada, all were married with a Thai as they were working the Pacific route, and now ALL of them are divorced. Others did not even made it up to marriage, were cheated...

Are members here with this HappierAbroad Forum, who are married with a Thai?

There is a 50/50 German/Thai man Drronnie with this forum, he created this thread and he often complains about Thai women in a similar way as I do. Thai women can be highly materialistic.

Living standard in Thailand is quite good, laws are not against men/husbands/fathers and women for fun, yes, there are many, but for a long term relationship? It seems it's not so easy and not only the woman but if she is still young also her parents are showing up soon with financial demands - I personally think this custom (sin sot) bride price should be outlawed. I heard similar customs to demand openly money from men exist also in Vietnam.

Young Thai men suffer in a similar way, in case of early divorce, the woman is gone and with her also the money.

This is really better here in Japan or in the Philippines, regardless if rich or poor - to pay as a man for a promise of marriage is a custom which does not exist.

[tamdrin12]

Hi Yohann.. I'm not getting into anything serious with Thai women.. But I have some fun with them if I get the opportunity. I have met good Thai girls. I work with one, and I met another who will remain a virgin till marriage. Yes, there are a lot of gold diggers in Thailand but I'm just saying that hasn't been my universal experience as has yours. You live in Pattaya man.. that place is a magnet for the worst aspects of the society. Other places, such as Chiang Mai are far better and less seedy. pattaya, the sex capital of the world.. what do you expect down there man..

[chanta76]

tamdrin12 and Yohan,


I heard stories that in Bangkok back in the 1980's it was possible to find decent innocent girls outside of the sex tourist district. But I think since the 1990' s and because of the internet and word got out. Bangkok got overrun with sexpats that just sleep around. My question is the sexpats will just move on to different pasture in Thailand. Most of the bars girls from my understanding are from Issan and you have some expats who go up there to live there with their thai wives. I think same applies in Chang mai...

tamdrin12 since your in Thailand do you think it just getting worst...with the local women. I mean I'm stronger believer that anytime you have too many sexpats they spoil the place and the girls get over westernize . Thailand is like one of the biggest sex tourist destination...on top of that I think allot of the Europeans guys retire there. There is not like infinite number of girls ...in thailand... but I did visit Thailand back in 2000..and from what I remember seeing is many of foreign male tourist (western and Asian) are just out for the hunt...it gets to the point that almost all the thai girl at one point slept with a expat ...
Kind of surprise that local Thai men are not too angry yet(at least what I saw in 2000) . You expect some back lash..

[Ghost]

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[drronnie]

Well some people like me learn it the hard way. Eventhough I am half Thai I am considered to be a farang and therefore I get attracted by the wrong type of women who immediately back off as soon as they realize than I am a normal wage slave. So eventhough I speak Thai fluently I am not truly accepted as Thai int he dating pool.

Well it may be true that even normal wage slaves get dates too, but since I am not Thai different rules apply to me. However I did have several dates with women over 30 and one was 27. But one has to realize that if you are not handsome and not young dont expect too much.