My inspiration came from this: viewtopic.php?t=11019
My Trip to California
I heard American women were easy to land in bed. I am a Welsh guy and I heard American women would drop their panties, get wet and then f**k my brains out when I told them I was from Wales. I am unemployed, but I stole some money from my pops, so I am going to California for about 5 days. I want to f**k some Hollywood chicks! I wish all Welsh girls could be California girls! God, I love David Lee Roth! The plane flight was hell! I wanted to hit on one of the flight attendants and she told me to f**k off. I haven't had sex in about 5 months, so I unzipped my pants and began to jack off in my seat. Everything was cool until one of the attendant's asked me if I wanted something to drink. I jizzed on her uniform. That was too bad.
Moments later, I am walking down Sunset Boulevard. Damn, there are lots of fags down here! I am strolling down right and I see this fine ass blonde and this obese Asian chick. The blonde came up to me and she said, "Hey good looking! Wanna f**k me on the streets?" I replied, "I don't want people to see us!" She said, "Come on! I am so horny!" I told the skank, "All right, let's go." Little did I know, she pulled out a badge and she said, "Freeze! You f***ing scumbag!" The obese Asian chick saved me! She karate chopped that pig and she threw her like 40 feet down the street like she was a bowling ball. It made my dick hard. I walked up to the Asian chick and I began talking to her. "Hey, thanks for saving my life. I don't have $1,000 to f**k her." I said. "Well, how about f***ing me for free?" Asian chick said. Me being the nasty ass dude I am, I said yes. We walked for about an hour in some alley. I had little money. Remember, I am unemployed.
This Asian chick weighed about 500 lbs and she smelled like sushi and peanut butter. I asked her her age and she said "I am 72, but look 65." It was a warm and gloomy night tonight in California. I had little money and I had nowhere else to go. I crashed in this cardboard box with this Asian chick. I met tons of bums that were 40-60 years of age. The most down to Earth people I ever met. I don't know why this Asian chick is turning me on since I am usually timid and I hate approaching women. I spent three days with her on the streets and I wanted some p***y, so why not ask my friend? I f***ed her 72-year old p***y without a condom and then after the fantastic sex, we took some PCP. Hey, she offered, so why not? One of the bums whispered in my ear and said, "Dude, you know that Asian chick has AIDS right?" I was flabbergasted. "You bullshitting!" I replied. "No, I am not kidding. She has full blown AIDS. She has f***ed everything in sight."
She even f***ed a dead chicken that she got from TGI Lick My Pussies." The bum said. Wow! I just f***ed a homeless, 72-year old Asian chick with AIDS and she was a dopehead. Perfect combination huh? I didn't f***ing care. I was in America! Home of the free! Land of the brave! I could f**k an AIDS infested cunt off the streets of Los Angeles and no one cared because this is the land of opportunity! Speaking of opportunity, I wanted some cocaine. This is the only money I have, so why not spend it on something useful? I wanted some cocaine and some crystal meth. I want to go all out! One of my dreams was to f**k a tranny and there are plenty of them around. I have AIDS now, so why not? I am about to have this tranny orgy with my Asian girlfriend that keeps screaming when I put in my dick that she wants to "love me long time" and she says, "me so horny!"
My last night in California had to be special. I had a few bucks, so I hit up this club called the Blue Icicle. Dude, when you walk into this club, you saw nothing but Playboy bunnies! Wow! I went up to about 20 of these women. I had the confidence of Don Juan. I would say about two out of the twenty women rejected me. I had this perception that all American women would get wet as the saliva shot to my tongue. American women dig accents right? I wanted to f**k this chick named Reagan so much, but I blew all of my money on PCP and cocaine and the club fee. The club fee was $100. I am not kidding. Reagan was cute and she even told me she would pay for the hotel room, but I politely declined.
She kissed me on my cheek and told me "good night." The moment she drove off in her BMW was the moment I said to myself, "What the hell did I just decline?" When I finally wanted an American blonde, I declined, but I f***ed this Asian chick that looks like Margaret Cho. All of my arrogance went out of the window. America wasn't so glamourous like I thought it was while watching it on the telly. My whole opinion has changed drastically. I went to this free clinic around the way and I have to admit that I do have AIDS.
In addition, I have genital herpes, hepatitis A, B and C, lupus and the common cold. I am a walking morgue. One thing I can take from my trip to California, besides my imminent death are a couple of things: 1. Homeless people are really friendly. 2. The PCP I had was the best I ever had. I feel like Superman! 3. I should have f***ed the Asian chick in her anus. That is about it with my regrets. I will leave America and go back to Wales as a rock star! Don't be jelly!
