Jackal wrote:First of all, have you ever traveled overseas? If so, where and for how long? If not, then your arguments really don't hold much weight because they're only based on your fantasies and not on your experience.
Of course, I have traveled. Moreover, I grew up abroad. And, as a child and teenager growing up there, I can say that I faced a lot of troubles from my peers (i.e. bullying) duirng those years. In fact, here in America there wasn't so much bullying. What I have to admit I have no experience with is dating in my native country. But I did visit it a few years ago, and I didn't find the society there any warmer than the Russian-speaking community here in the U.S. By individuals - maybe. That's because I didn't meet my former bullies; I only met people I wanted to. But generally, I still feel more comfortable and secure walking down the streets here than I felt there.
Jackal wrote:The first one is that the same person can act very differently in different environments.
Absolutely agree. Moreover, that's actually my counter-argument.
Jackal wrote: If you were in Laos, would feel exactly the same as you do now? Would you be as happy as you are now? Would you act the same? It seems to me that you're quite happy with American culture, so I would venture a guess that you would act differently there and not be as happy there. Could you ever fully adapt to Laotian culture? Could you find a job you enjoyed there? Again, if you're like most Americans, probably not.
I'm not like most Americans, because I'm not American by birth. I can't say I'm happy with American culture because it's not really my culture. If I happen to travel to Laos or to any other country (including my native Belarus or nearby Russia), I'll be happy about my vacation. And, because I would take their women seriously enough, I would not be as nervous among them as I am nervous around girls that do interest me. But then, is it really a good reason for global dating? I don't think so. Because, as soon as I start viewing their girls as potential dating (and, subsequently, marriage) partners, I would become as much of a nervous wreck as I am here in New York.
Jackal wrote:In America, there is the constant myth that "You can do anything you want if you work hard enough." But this is not true. It is true that everyone can improve at least a bit if they work at it and people can change at least a bit if they work at it, but the degree to which success is possible depends on many other things (resources, abilities, environment, etc.).
Again, I agree with you on this. As a religious man, I realize how wrong it is to believe exclusively in your own power. No matter how hard you try, G-d is in charge. Having said that, however, I also believe that we
should try as hard as we can to succeed, rather than give up.
Jackal wrote:My point is that most of us on this website never felt entirely comfortable with American culture and it's far easier for us to be relaxed, friendly, and motivated in foreign countries than it is in the US. People whose personalities naturally fit in in America (and especially those who have never traveled!) will not be able to understand our views on this website.
You're making very good points. However, are you sure that all guys who post here have ever been abroad? Maybe some of them are simply desperate about their dating situation here, so they somehow hope to have a better luck out there. Ok, maybe there are few people who have sincere belief in a corruption of American society. But, from what I see on this board, many people (including Winston himself) are bashing America so excessively that it actually makes them sound less credible than they would otherwise.
And, again, I'm not American. At this point, I have been living here only a half of my current age: I'll celebrate my 16th U.S. anniversary in November, and my 32nd birthday in December). So, I know it's not a paradise in Belarus (or anywhere else within Russian-speaking ex-Soviet lands). Winston can claim anything he wants, but the main thing that I expected in America - religious freedom - I've got it.
Jackal wrote:The "self" is not a fixed, static thing. It changes according to the environment. If you're a party animal in Slovakia, you won't necessarily be that way in Nigeria. Similarly, if someone is totally pissed off all the time in the US, they won't necessarily be that way in another country which has a very different culture. Sure, they'll carry some of their problems with them, but these can be more easily worked on in (what is for them) a less hostile environment.
Perhaps it's true. But, in order to come to a reasonable conclusion that some other culture suites you better, you have to know that culture. If someone reasonably colcludes that he'll be better of in Russia (China, Mexico - whatever) than in America - I respect his decision. But if his main reasoning is that American society is corrupt - I can only suspect that he has a tough luck here.
Jackal wrote:Oh really? I've been living--and working--in Hungary for two years and I plan to stay here for much longer--perhaps even permanently.
If that's the case, I admit that your decision to move to Hungary is pretty much reasonable. I'm not bashing other countries, or oppose global dating just out of principle. Not at all. All I'm saying is that the fact that someone fails in America does not mean America is all bad for everyone.
Jackal wrote:"American standards"? What's that? Working lots of forced overtime with no vacations? Paying ridiculous prices for medicines? Getting stuck in traffic everyday during long commutes because (except for in a few cities) the public transportation sucks? Having your tax dollars used to fund useless wars abroad?
I admit these weaknesses of the United States. Unfortunately, this is true. But, personally, I'm not so much affected by these drawbacks: I live in New York (where public transportation is reliable) and work for a government agency, which gives me a nice health insurance and a pretty good number of vacation days (which may not be very big by European standads, but is a luxury by American ones). But, yes, America is not all-perfect. And if you have chosen a nice country for yourself to move to, and have a means to make a living there, I respect that. But when someone is writing: "I cannot wait to go abroad because America sucks" - that's stupid and naive.
Jackal wrote:Your mistake is that it takes far less money to make "a decent living" in countries where the cost of living is much cheaper. Just because a certain amount of money wouldn't be nearly enough to live off in the US (especially in NYC), it doesn't mean that it isn't more than adequate to live off in a less expensive country.
That's possible. But, before anything, you've got to make sure you are employed and enjoy your job, wherever you are. Please, don't tell me that having a job is not as important abroad as it is here. Everyone's got to make a living. I don't believe that those who live on welfare in a European country deserve much respect from those who are working and paying taxes. If you are sure you'll find a nice job abroad - good for you.
Jackal wrote:Again Americans' stereotypes that anyplace outside of America is "uncivilized" are totally baseless and are based on the negative propaganda about foreign countries in American media.
Don't American take vacations and travel around the world? Of so, they have first-hand experience with other countries and no media would change their mind.
Jackal wrote: It can be shattering for an American to realize that America is not the best country in the world, since their whole world view depends on that assumption.
So, what is the best country in the world? Peru? Or, perhaps, Russia or China? I don't think any country can claim being the best in the world.
Actually, the Soviet government was teaching me that the USSR is the best country in the world. But by the late 1980's, in spite of this ideology, everyone realized that it's certainly better abroad, especially in America. I guess, same thing happens in America now. But I've learned the lesson before, so I'm not buying on either side. No, I don't believe America is all best. But I do believe that it still has those qualities that attract people from all over the world.
Jackal wrote:Some Americans may wake up and realize the potential of going overseas, but due to past conditioning, most will not.
If it was all-bad here, most Americans would have already "waken up". But, apparently, it's not as bad here as to make them "wake up". Apparently, most Americans are happy here and don't care about any advantages some other country has to offer. Somehow, there are too many people in Russia, China, or Mexico who would like to flee those countries. And, for some reason, it's not the case in the U.S.
Linc4Love wrote:Are you f***ing kidding me? I would presume then you have no problems meeting and dating women here in the good old US of A compared to abroad, or you're married to some sexy American gal who bakes pies for you every morning and leaves little notes in your car. if not, then seriously, SHUT... THE... f**k... UP. You clearly do not know what the crap you're talking about
I'm not yet married to a "sexy american gal", but I see too many people around who are. And it's not on TV, it's in real-life. If I was completely surrounded by desperate single men, I might have believed all this shit that I read on this board. But there is too much evidence to suggest that the society is not at fault. American law, by the way, grants me the freedom of speech, in spite of Winston claiming otherwise. So, I WON'T shut...the...f**k...up, and you've got to live with it.