Why don't other sites mention Dating, Social Life or Mental Health as reasons to leave America?

[momopi]

Other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas. This is the only one that focuses on romantic, social, sexual and psychological needs. I wonder why. Am I the only normal person?

Like these?

http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/mar ... tionships/
http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.org/f ... ay.php?f=7
http://www.shanghaiexpat.com/MDForum-vi ... f-24.phtml
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewforu ... f915af48ff


Many expats discuss their love, relationship, and needs on other forums. Here's a funny example:
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi ... 92&t=77698 (see post #5 in thread)

They're not coming here, because they have a wide range of interests and your forum only focuses on a very narrow range of discussions. I think half the posts here is misogynistic bitching and moaning about American women, or some weird government conspiracy theory.




Most people have little interest in reading that kind of stuff after the n-th post. What you have here is your own small clique of people, like other typical American cliquish social group. This one, I think represents a small % of the population, but thinks that they represent the majority, and gets frustrated when the majority doesn't show up or chime in.

Once in a while, I find gems that Ladislav and MrS posts that's worth my time, like this one:
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... ght=#16687

If you can get more posts of that quality, I think your forum would be more popular. Or, if you want to just concentrate on the getting there and laid part, you can look at what these guys are doing:

http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/forums.php
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... .php?f=274

[Winston]

Other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas. This is the only one that focuses on romantic, social, sexual and psychological needs. I wonder why. Am I the only normal person?

Like these?

http://hongkong.asiaxpat.com/forums/mar ... tionships/
http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.org/f ... ay.php?f=7
http://www.shanghaiexpat.com/MDForum-vi ... f-24.phtml
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewforu ... f915af48ff

Many expats discuss their love, relationship, and needs on other forums. Here's a funny example:
http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi ... 92&t=77698 (see post #5 in thread)

They're not coming here, because they have a wide range of interests and your forum only focuses on a very narrow range of discussions. I think half the posts here is misogynistic bitching and moaning about American women, or some weird government conspiracy theory.



Most people have little interest in reading that kind of stuff after the n-th post. What you have here is your own small clique of people, like other typical American cliquish social group. This one, I think represents a small % of the population, but thinks that they represent the majority, and gets frustrated when the majority doesn't show up or chime in.

Once in a while, I find gems that Ladislav and MrS posts that's worth my time, like this one:
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... ght=#16687

If you can get more posts of that quality, I think your forum would be more popular. Or, if you want to just concentrate on the getting there and laid part, you can look at what these guys are doing:

http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/forum/forums.php
http://www.internationalsexguide.info/f ... .php?f=274

No no no Momopi, you have things backward. Allow me to elaborate. Please factor in the points below, rather than dismiss them through cognitive dissonance.

First, the links you gave us above are all links to forums. Sure anyone can talk about anything on a forum. But I was referring to the home page of the site, or the official site content. If you go to their home pages, you will see that it's usually about economic topics, or light hearted politically correct topics. Do any of those expat sites offer hope and help to lonely dateless males in America? Do any of them inform the public that they can have a better social or dating life abroad? If so, show me, and I will admit that I'm wrong. Otherwise, my point stands.

You are completely wrong when you say this site is narrow and the other sites are broad. Nothing could be further from the truth. First of all, if you look at the topic categories on this forum, you will see that they are very broad, like the other expat forums, and cover every general topic. I modeled it after the rest.

Sure, other sites might have more categories on their main page. But this site, Happier Abroad, is primarily focused on ROMANTIC, SOCIAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL FULFILLMENT overseas. That is our MISSION.

See the executive summary for a clear statement of purpose for this site: http://www.happierabroad.com/executivesummary.php

Our Mission, is this:

Mission Statement
1) To bring exposure to the dysfunctional anti-social culture in America that has left many lonely, isolated, alienated, insecure, depressed, empty, miserable, dateless and sexless, who are suffering in silence, making the USA one of the worst places for social life, dating and mental health. 2) To offer an overseas solution and path that will lead those afflicted to romantic, social and personal fulfillment abroad.

Momopi, I challenge you to show me any other site that brings attention to loneliness, suffering and datelessness in America, and offers going overseas as a real working solution. I bet you can't find one. Thus, my point is proven.

You see, this site focuses on TABOO TRUTHS that other sites do not dare address. For example, people in America carry around an anti-social paranoid force field around them, and people don't talk to strangers unless its business related. You can see this plainly in public. Yet you are supposed to think it's normal and not complain about it. If you have a problem, then you blame yourself, according to society. What other sites are addressing that?

Truth is often taboo. People want to hear what's politically correct. Truth can offend people. Did you know that, or are you in denial of that? The posts on this forum about American women being antisocial, where else can they post such things? Other forums will kick you off for saying such things and you will get flamed if you post them.

For example, Loris, a Belgium student, spoke here about his five years in Texas and how prudish, fake and antisocial people really were, and how they just denied it. Where else could he have posted his true feelings on such matters? On the other expat sites? I don't think so! NO WAY!

Momopi, you say you admire many of Ladislav's and Mr S's posts. Well try this then. Take some of their best posts and post them on the other expat forums. I dare you. Then you will get a learning lesson as to how much people are in denial and get defensive over certain truths. Their posts are not politically correct. They've even ADMITTED to me personally that they could not share their views, insights and advice on other forums, cause there is too much political correctness on them.

In short, this site and forum are a SAFE OUTLET for truth, and in this case certain truths of course. We all know what they are.

How can you say this site is narrow though, when you are allowed to talk about anything here, including taboo topics? On the other hand, taboo topics are not allowed on most sites. Ask Ladislav. He's been flamed on other sites, like AsianAve, for saying that Asian men should go overseas to solve their dating dilemmas. It's just not something you're supposed to say, even if it's true. See what I mean?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but there is a tendency in you toward honoring the boundaries of political correctness too. You are usually neutral, and only provide references, data, tidbits and useful information on many practical matters. You do not like to take sides, but offer neutral observations instead. That has been your pattern. But you do not admit that American women are anti-social and uncomfortable talking to strangers and that it's hard and unnatural to meet them. The other guys here all admit to that, but you take a much more neutral stance.

What this means is that there are certain things you will deny too, even if they're true, due to bias perhaps? For example, during the first time we met, when I mentioned how people in the US bond into cliques of the same race, you rationalized it away and denied it, saying that I was overgeneralizing. However, out in the parking lot, I pointed to the people walking around, who were all hanging out with people of the same race. My point was proven at point blank range, the hard evidence in front of you. We could have been in any other public place, and I could have showed you the same.

In short, because my statements were not politically correct, you rationalized it away through cognitive dissonance, rather than admit to it, despite the fact that what I claimed was apparent right in front of you in plain view. Am I correct?

Likewise, if I said that people in the US are in a bubble and don't talk to strangers unless it's business related, you might also deny it cause it's not politically correct to say that, right? However, we could go to most public places in the US and I can show you that most people are minding their own business and ignoring everyone around them. For example, see the onboard ferry photo in my introduction part 2 here: http://www.happierabroad.com/globaldating2.php There you will see that they are in a bubble and that there are boundaries around them, as well as unspoken rules, such as "it's inappropriate to talk to strangers unless it's business related". On the other hand, when I first went to Russia in 2002, I was mesmerized that I could talk to any girl in public, and they'd be relaxed and open about it, there was NO force field or paranoia or antisociality around them. It was surreal. I thought I was dreaming. But it was REAL!

I SWEAR to that. But for some reason, something keeps you from admitting to such obvious things. Perhaps you don't know why, or you don't want to for some secret reason. But they are still true, even if you don't admit to them.

A few other points in response to your post.

Most expats are on other sites cause they are older and more established. Or they find the topics here uncomfortable. Plus, people tend to gravitate toward the most populated forum. The guys here are here cause they can express certain views that would be condemned on other sites.

You are correct that this forum's views represent only a small percentage of the population. However, let's clarify something here. Is it your position that we are a tiny minority cause the majority of single guys in the US can get dates and sex anytime they want to, and have abundant dating lives? Or that we are a minority in that we are among the few that dare to speak the truth about taboo issues, such as the horrible dating scene in America for men, the antisocial culture in America, the erosion of human relationships in America, etc. and are not in denial of it? Which is it?

I submit that it's the latter. Most single guys are not able to go out and get dates anytime they want to. They are usually dateless and suffer in silence. They distract themselves with other things, or believe in the media's hype that working and consuming makes you happy, so they tell themselves that something is wrong with them. Either way, you know as well as I do that US culture requires that you say that you are having a "great day" everyday. So if you are in pain, you have to deny it and suppress it and not show it to others. Surely you do not deny that?!

There is no doubt that there are many suffering silently in America, over loneliness, depression, emptiness, datelessness, etc. I challenge you to find one European country where so many people are lonely and dateless and have to go to PUA seminars or see therapists. I'll bet you can't. Thus there's a problem in the US, even if you don't admit to it.

Or do you honestly expect us to believe that other guys outside of this site get dates with no problems and that only we are losers who can't get any quality dates in America?

As to internationalsexguide, that is a small site. A much bigger one is worldsexguide.com. Yeah they talk about sex and prostitutes and P4P (pay for play) there. But this forum is far more intellectual in content. Or haven't you noticed? A lot of other forums contain trashy content and one liners that the posters think are funny but are very juvenile and a waste of time. For instance, in the forumosa forum thread you referenced:

http://www.forumosa.com/taiwan/viewtopi ... 92&t=77698

I need a hot towel, THEN a cigarette. Lordy LORD!

Do you see lame ass one liner posts like that on this forum?

No. The content I wrote on this site is intellectual in nature and attracts intellectual types. Most people are not intellectuals, and that's one reason at least why this site doesn't have majority appeal.

I've talked to a lot of expats in the Philippines and during the conversation when I bring up how anti-social America is and how horrible the dating scene is there, they all say "OH YEAH!" as if they agree wholeheartedly. They all admit to that. So how do you explain that, in light of the fact that this site only attracts a minority crowd?

You are an adult, and you know that there are certain truths that are inappropriate and taboo to talk about, and most people do not violate this and so they do not talk about it. It's one of those unspoken rules, like in tennis mixed doubles you are supposed to serve softer serves to the female player on the other side, and how in the US, when you compare men and women publicly, you MUST ALWAYS conclude something that is more favorable to the women. Or how most people download songs from the internet through filesharing programs, but they will not say it publicly cause it's illegal and condemned. These are unspoken rules that people know.

Some of these rules are harmless and don't need to be discussed. But others are harmful, lead to loneliness, depression, deprivation and datelessness, resulting in suffering for many. These need to be addressed and given a solution to. THIS SITE does that, the other expat sites don't. If you can provide proof that I'm wrong, show it and I will apologize. Otherwise, my point STANDS.

I hope you will factor in what I've said above, and agree that they contain degrees of truths at least, rather than ignore it through cognitive dissonance, which is subjective and emotional, not logical.

[Winston]

Momopi, ask yourself this. Do the other expat sites bring up these factors that lead people overseas? Do other sites in general offer solutions to these problems below? Or do they only suggest seeking professional psychiatric help?

Why America is one of the worst places for dating, social life and mental health

(Statistics for the below facts can be found at http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page41.htm)

a) Abundant firsthand testimonial accounts, both online and offline. Hundreds are presented on this site.
b) Studies showing social isolation and loneliness at an all time high, and that a large percentage of Americans are lonely and have few or no real friends.
c) America has the highest rates of mental illness in the industrialized world. Statistics of people with mental health problems range from 25 to 50 percent. Furthermore, Americans tend to have to go to therapists or mental health professionals when they have problems, whereas people in other countries usually have close friends to talk to and do not need professional therapists.
d) The divorce rate in the US is now 50 to 60 percent, much higher than in the past.
e) Most people in America have a thick psychological wall around them, which you can feel in their vibes, and live in their own bubble, which they call privacy. They are disconnected and isolated from others, except a small group of friends. They are paranoid and afraid to talk to strangers, and are uncomfortable meeting new people (hence the term "breaking the ice"). What most Americans don't realize is that throughout the history of mankind, people were not like this - paranoid, living in a bubble and having to "break ice" to talk to strangers - and thus it is an unnatural artificial creation of US culture and society.
f) There is an inherent fragmentation of one's self and disconnectedness that people feel in America. Foreigners and immigrants notice it too. It's as if you become "fragmented" inside, no longer "whole"... which is very "unwholesome" so to speak. The vibes of the culture also feel "dysfunctional", especially to sensitive people.
g) Americans in public do not look very happy, but grumpy, irritable and overweight. And children act spoiled, angry and demanding. Unfortunately, more wealth in America has not led to more happiness, as studies show. Obviously something is making them unhappy and there are probably a myriad of reasons.
h) The extreme difficulty and unnatural process of the US dating scene. Many men feel that the male/female dynamic in relationships has been poisoned and disfigured. Women no longer desire to be feminine, are super picky, unapproachable, not easy to meet, have a sense of entitlement off the charts, treat men badly, are selfish, think every guy is a creep, and often do not even need men in their lives, preferring to walk their dog alone on their day off rather than be with male companionship. Men also feel oppressed by the media, which is politically correct and treats men as an inferior gender. In addition, every woman seems to be taken, and with such a deficit of choices, any attractive women left become virtually unattainable. The US has become so prudish that the simple act of flirting between men and women is now deemed in society as "creepy, inappropriate, and a violation of boundaries". And in turn, many American women report that men are desperate, clingy and needy, or abusive a-holes who don't listen to them. All this is a vicious cycle that only gets worse.
i) There are more nice decent guys in the US who can not get a date to save their lives, than there are in any other country I've seen. You will not find guys in Europe, Russia, South America or the Philippines, for instance, complaining that they can't meet women or get any dates or that women are unapproachable in their country.
j) The existence of a ridiculous subculture industry in America for Seduction/Pick Up Artist Gurus (Mystery, Ross Jeffries, David DeAngelo, and many others), where men pay for seminars and books from teachers claiming to have "mastered techniques" for meeting and bedding women. This "artificial industry" has been on the rise, so that even Dr. Phil has featured some of them on his show. They've treated courtship as a whole "scientific field of study". (My God) This should tell you a lot right there. Why would such a natural thing like male/female courtship need to be reduced to a "technique" or "science" as though it were a difficult subject that needed to be "mastered"? (Sheesh) In other countries, it's just like you see in the movies - boy meets girl, they flirt, hold hands, say "I like you" to each other, then kiss and so forth - it's completely natural and effortless. (I've experienced that firsthand many times abroad) The students of this industry even have to "master an art" (e.g. advanced conversation techniques) just to hold conversations with women, which in other countries is the most natural thing in the world! Now the thing is, this type of industry is unheard of in other countries. I challenge you to find another country where men pay "seduction or pick up artist gurus" to teach them how to meet women. You can't, cause in other countries, the process is natural and flows normally, not F ed up like in the US. The "chumps" in this subculture never stop to ask the obvious question: "Why doesn't this industry exist in other countries too?" (And suffice to say, I have yet to meet a single person who could demonstrate and prove that these PUA/seduction techniques turned his love/dating life around 180)

So you see, while America offers many nice luxuries, comforts and amenities, what it does NOT offer is a culture and environment conducive to natural healthy relationships, friendships and self-esteem/mental health, but instead offers the exact opposite. People tend to be stuck up, snobby and anti-social. There is a lack of human connection. People fear others. There is a feeling of emptiness and dysfunction, as if sadness and depression are always around the corner. Something in the culture just does not make you feel good about yourself. And the dating scene is hostile, creepy and insane, no fun at all. America touts itself as the greatest and freest country in the world, yet its social life, dating scene and mental health are among the WORST in the world (its healthcare system is also an insane mess and its food way too fattening).

Other sites may point out these problems. But which of them offer real solutions that work, such as going abroad. They don't. Instead, they urge you to seek professional psychiatric help, or go to PUA seminars to learn PUA techniques. Such things may provide a temporary band aid, but they don't provide solutions that work and change things.

The Happier Abroad solution does.

So why then do you paint this site as being just a bunch of frustrated losers who focus on narrow topics? Do you at least admit that this site is unique and revolutionary and doing things that other sites aren't?

In case you think that the majority is always right, then let me quote one of Mr S's signatures from Marcus Aurelius:

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." - Marcus Aurelius

PS - Momopi you mention that I post "weird conspiracy theories". That kind of shows your bias toward the establishment and political correctness. First, they are not weird. They are based on facts and evidence, which you yourself has admitted to being true (e.g. we blew up the USS Maine to start a war, which you admitted). I do not post BS stuff with no evidence, only stuff with plenty of factual evidence to back it up. They are facts, anomalies and unexplained questions, not just "theories". In addition, you said that most of the content on this forum is either bitching about women or "weird conspiracy theories", implying that the conspiracy posts are in the majority of posts here. That is factually incorrect. They constitute a very tiny portion of posts here and are not even hot topics. I'm sure you realized that you phrased that sentence incorrectly.

[momopi]

Winston, the post was in response to your statement "Other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas." I could argue that the popularity of a site in membership and posts determine the level of interest, but that would be pointless.

You and I are different people. Say if we lived in LA and dating life sucked for us I'd fly to TW to talk to one of the bigger dating/marriage agencies there and ask to become their rep in the US. Assuming if the venture is successful, I'd take groups of single Taiwanese guys and girls back to TW for group social events (with other single sin TW). I'd probably also get first picks at any of the girls that come in, plus the ones I can meet in TW. In addition, I'd make a profit from the venture and fly on company expense.

You, would probably respond differently.

Also, if you honestly expect people to answer your questions/points, you need to reduce the length and number.

[Winston]

Winston, the post was in response to your statement "Other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas." I could argue that the popularity of a site in membership and posts determine the level of interest, but that would be pointless.

You and I are different people. Say if we lived in LA and dating life sucked for us I'd fly to TW to talk to one of the bigger dating/marriage agencies there and ask to become their rep in the US. Assuming if the venture is successful, I'd take groups of single Taiwanese guys and girls back to TW for group social events (with other single sin TW). I'd probably also get first picks at any of the girls that come in, plus the ones I can meet in TW. In addition, I'd make a profit from the venture and fly on company expense.

You, would probably respond differently.

Yeah well again, your links all came from forums. Show me links from home pages of expat sites to prove me wrong. Can you do that? Show me that expat sites on their home pages talk about things that are not politically correct. Otherwise, my point still stands. If I'm wrong, show me.

Show me especially where other expat sites on their home page talk about "how to date foreign women". Or even one that admits that a shitty dating scene is the reason why many expats leave America. Can you show me any? Not in forums, but on their home pages and main content sections.

Why do you never admit that you are mistaken, even if the evidence proves it?

What does dating in TW and agencies have to do with this? I would be in favor of working with a dating/marriage agency too (why do you think this site is affiliated with many of them?) But TW is not a hot spot for foreign guys to find dates or girlfriends. That's not just based on my experience, but on the fact that there are no credible websites dedicated toward promoting that Taiwan is a "dating paradise", not like there are for the Philippines or Thailand. Besides, many TW men are going overseas to find a wife too. If I'm wrong, you can prove it. Otherwise, your words are only words, not evidence or action. Also remember that often what works in theory does NOT work in practice. Most small business owners can tell you that.

Sure you and I are different people, but what does that have to do with this or with my claim about other expat sites?

So what about my question below?

You are correct that this forum's views represent only a small percentage of the population. However, let's clarify something here. Is it your position that we are a tiny minority cause the majority of single guys in the US can get dates and sex anytime they want to, and have abundant dating lives? Or that we are a minority in that we are among the few that dare to speak the truth about taboo issues, such as the horrible dating scene in America for men, the antisocial culture in America, the erosion of human relationships in America, etc. and are not in denial of it? Which is it?

I submit that it's the latter. Most single guys are not able to go out and get dates anytime they want to. They are usually dateless and suffer in silence. They distract themselves with other things, or believe in the media's hype that working and consuming makes you happy, so they tell themselves that something is wrong with them. Either way, you know as well as I do that US culture requires that you say that you are having a "great day" everyday. So if you are in pain, you have to deny it and suppress it and not show it to others. Surely you do not deny that?!

There is no doubt that there are many suffering silently in America, over loneliness, depression, emptiness, datelessness, etc. I challenge you to find one European country where so many people are lonely and dateless and have to go to PUA seminars or see therapists. I'll bet you can't. Thus there's a problem in the US, even if you don't admit to it.

Or do you honestly expect us to believe that other guys outside of this site get dates with no problems and that only we are losers who can't get any quality dates in America?

[Winston]

Again Momopi,
Show me some other expat sites that offers as part of its main content the following kind of info:

http://www.happierabroad.com/executivesummary.php

Mission Statement
1) To bring exposure to the dysfunctional anti-social culture in America that has left many lonely, isolated, alienated, insecure, depressed, empty, miserable, dateless and sexless, who are suffering in silence, making the USA one of the worst places for social life, dating and mental health. 2) To offer an overseas solution and path that will lead those afflicted to romantic, social and personal fulfillment abroad.

If you can't, then my point stands, and you have not proven me wrong.

Agreed?

Also, do other expat sites produce these kind of reviews from people who thought there was something wrong with them, but it turns out that they were not the problem all along, thus they say that this site gives them a sense of "validation"? If so, can you show me?

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page32.htm

“Anyway, to cut a long story short, everything you wrote in your treatise is precisely to the point. I am a Russian who has lived in the States long enough to know. I came to the country expecting to find some flavor, as I had been able to do in France and Germany. Alas, what I ran into was a sea of blandness.

I took me a while to realize that there was a chasm of difference between the media picture of America and real life, but when the truth hit home, I felt very disappointed and empty. I even had a lapse of self-condemnation as I thought the problem was in me. I have gotten over it now and can see clearly. Your writing puts all the pieces of the puzzle together very well.�

http://www.happierabroad.com/FanMail2.htm

Winston,

I was referred to your webpage by a friend of mine who is from Germany. She had sent me one of your articles and I decided to explore further on your web page. I found the article titled " what immigrants and foreigners say about America that you never hear in the U.S. Media" very funny and completely accurate. I am glad that there are people out there who realize that the U.S. is not everything. My friend and I always talk about this type of stuff, and it makes me very happy to see that WE are not the only ones who feel this way and get upset about it. Because we feel we cannot express ourselves fully without getting a strange look or some kind of disagreement. (It is as if we are emotionally in jail.)

I, myself, am from Europe (the Netherlands) where I lived until about 8 years ago. Being brought up in such a liberal country has made it very difficult for me to adjust to the American life style. Soft drugs, Euthanasia, same sex marriages, and prostitution are all legal and are not looked as if they are taboo or wrong doing ( feel these things should also be legal in the U.S.)

As I said before I'm having a difficult time (still) adjusting to the American way of life. What are Americans PRUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stand it. Talking about sex is a taboo, having sex is a taboo and oh boy... what if you see a nipple or a butt crack on T.V., it better be blurred out before we realize that others have those, too. In the Netherlands (as well as other countries throughout Europe) we embrace nudity. Women go topless or walk around naked on the beach, we wear shirts without a bra where the nipple is shown through. It is sexy and not looked as perverted. We have T.V. commercials (even during the day) where nudity is shown. Something I really do not understand is that on T.V. in the U.S., plastic surgeries are shown, the breasts are cut open and everything is exposed except for the nipple that of course, are blurred out. Nipples, vagina's, penises and butt cracks are part of the human body and should not be looked upon as something disgusting.

I also, personally, do not like the egotistic, and independent life style that exists here. For Americans, the world is the U.S. and if lucky, Canada and Mexico is included with that. (look at the world cup in baseball... how long have the Americans won that.. oh hold on.. only the U.S. plays in it hahaha {stupid if you ask me}!!!) People in the U.S are so uneducated about life out of the U.S. that I have been asked whether Amsterdam is a country (in which "Holland" is the capital I suppose)!!!! Also, the independed life style is so weird to me. People don't even know their own neighbors here, where is in Europa, we are "taught" to work together. We do know our neighbors, in fact, during World Cups or Euro Cups, a lot of streets put out T.V.'s and couches and chairs and the whole street sits behind that one T.V. with a beer in the hand, enjoying not only the game, but also the company of their neighbors.

I also feel that we do not live to work, but work to live and are not as materialistic as people are in the U.S. I can personally say that as a child I may not have had everything that I wanted, but I did have everything that I needed. In the U.S., most children get what they want so that they will shut up for another week, but often do not get the love, affection, respect and help that they need from their family members( other words, they get what they want, not what they need.)

Unfortunately I'm bounded to the U.S. because of family, how ever, I do hope to be back in Europa within the upcoming 5 years because there is no place like home ;-D

Thanks for being an outlet, and it is good to know that I'm not the only one. I feel a whole lot better already! hahahaha

Take care, Kim

[Winston]

Momopi, here's a very comprehensive list of expat websites to help you out.

http://www.transitionsabroad.com/listin ... ites.shtml

As you can see even in their description, they are pretty much all about economic issues, or some light politically correct topics or practical issues like food, travel expenses, jobs, buying property, understanding customs, immigration laws, etc. NONE of them talk about romantic, social or psychological fulfillment. But if you talk to expats in person, they do mention such things. I can introduce you to many in Angeles City. Why is that? If they are main reasons, why do other expat sites not mention them? Can you explain that one?

I challenge you to go through the list at the link above and prove me wrong. Show me a site that talks about how to meet and date foreign women, or even lists dating as a reason to be overseas. Show me a site that claims that going overseas is an antidote to loneliness in America. Or even one that says that social life is better abroad!

You won't find one, cause they all assume that only your career brings you overseas, or retirement, or love of culture, and not dating, love or social life. I dare you to try. You will see that I am right.

Do you acknowledge that this site is unique in that regard?

[momopi]

Yeah well again, your links all came from forums. Show me links from home pages of expat sites to prove me wrong. Can you do that? Show me that expat sites on their home pages talk about things that are not politically correct. Otherwise, my point still stands. If I'm wrong, show me.

Why do you never admit that you are mistaken, even if the evidence proves it?

What does dating in TW and agencies have to do with this? I would be in favor of working with a dating/marriage agency too (why do you think this site is affiliated with many of them?) But TW is not a hot spot for foreign guys to find dates or girlfriends. That's not just based on my experience, but on the fact that there are no credible websites dedicated toward promoting that Taiwan is a "dating paradise", not like there are for the Philippines or Thailand. Besides, many TW men are going overseas to find a wife too. If I'm wrong, you can prove it. Otherwise, your words are only words, not evidence or action. Also remember that often what works in theory does NOT work in practice. Most small business owners can tell you that.

1. You did not specify "home page" in your original statement or claim. Your statement read "other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas." By "talking" I assume you mean discussions in the forums. If you believe my assumption is incorrect, then I rest my case.

2. I'm not obligated to self-incriminate. If you want me to elaborate on this, I learned from Business school the way to protect yourself is to put your investment in a land trust in another state, owned by an LLC in another state, and have multiple layers of protection from liabilities. Therefore, if you want me to post something self-incrimianting, I'd have to do it under an alias on a another forum, but only if it's quoted from yet another forum under a different alias.

3. If I were to engage in such a business, it' be catered to Chinese/Taiwanese-speaking singles. The type of people I'm after are like those who work in Hsinchu Science Park. I've actually given this some thought but did not pursue the venture.


The rest of your questions have been skimmed (it's 2 AM).

[Winston]

Yeah well again, your links all came from forums. Show me links from home pages of expat sites to prove me wrong. Can you do that? Show me that expat sites on their home pages talk about things that are not politically correct. Otherwise, my point still stands. If I'm wrong, show me.

Why do you never admit that you are mistaken, even if the evidence proves it?

What does dating in TW and agencies have to do with this? I would be in favor of working with a dating/marriage agency too (why do you think this site is affiliated with many of them?) But TW is not a hot spot for foreign guys to find dates or girlfriends. That's not just based on my experience, but on the fact that there are no credible websites dedicated toward promoting that Taiwan is a "dating paradise", not like there are for the Philippines or Thailand. Besides, many TW men are going overseas to find a wife too. If I'm wrong, you can prove it. Otherwise, your words are only words, not evidence or action. Also remember that often what works in theory does NOT work in practice. Most small business owners can tell you that.

1. You did not specify "home page" in your original statement or claim. Your statement read "other expat sites only talk about economic issues too, like jobs and buying a house overseas." By "talking" I assume you mean discussions in the forums. If you believe my assumption is incorrect, then I rest my case.

2. I'm not obligated to self-incriminate. If you want me to elaborate on this, I learned from Business school the way to protect yourself is to put your investment in a land trust in another state, owned by an LLC in another state, and have multiple layers of protection from liabilities. Therefore, if you want me to post something self-incrimianting, I'd have to do it under an alias on a another forum, but only if it's quoted from yet another forum under a different alias.

3. If I were to engage in such a business, it' be catered to Chinese/Taiwanese-speaking singles. The type of people I'm after are like those who work in Hsinchu Science Park. I've actually given this some thought but did not pursue the venture.


The rest of your questions have been skimmed (it's 2 AM).

Then I apologize if my original claim was not clear then. I was not referring to forums. But I don't just mean home pages either. I mostly meant the main content of the site, the non-forum portion of it.

Now that we are clear on that, can you show that I am wrong? If not, then you admit that my statement (revised one, referring to non-forum content) is accurate?

I did not ask you to incriminate yourself. This is not a criminal investigation. And plus, your full name is not on this board. You go by a pseudonym here. So why do you consider it a legal risk of liability for you to admit that you're wrong here? I don't get it. There are no consequences in doing so, other than egoic reasons. Especially since you go by a pseudonym here and not your full real name. Otherwise, I'm not sure what you are referring to regarding self-incrimination.

Everyone is wrong and mistaken sometimes, including me. No big deal in admitting it.

Any business venture, even if it's purely an online one, involves more factors and variables than you can calculate out. The actual work behind it also takes many times longer than you expect too. Just managing two websites for me involves a lot more factors than what most people think it does. More than you can imagine. Theory and practice are completely different.

PS - If it's 2am and late for you, then you can just answer my other questions later. No rush.

Just out of curiosity though, even if we refer to forum content, can you find on any other expat forum, testimonials from people who say that their dating life, social life and mental health are far better overseas compared to in America or Canada? You can find many of them here of course, but can you find them on other expat forums?

[momopi]

I'm somewhat conflicted in citing the web site below because of its obvious $9.95 commercial interest and over-the-top slant, but I'll leave it up to you to decide:
http://www.singleabroad.com/

This guy also runs no marriage and fire your wife, I think. Quoting from the web page (front page) above:

"If you live in a large US coastal city, large western European city, or anywhere in Canada (yes, Canada is the worst except for Alberta perhaps), then there is almost a 100% certainty that every single woman you have ever dated was absolute garbage. In fact, odds are that you have never even had a conversation with a woman your age who was not garbage. What that means is that you have absolutely no reference point of women who are not garbage."

-----

While driving in the US, when you rear-end someone in your car, it's common courtesy to check on their welfare and ask if they need help. But I've learned not to say the words "I'm sorry about that", because it'd be used against you in a lawsuit afterwards. Which brings us to why I shelved the trans-Pacific TW dating service.

Few years ago I was negotiating with a popular dating/marriage service in Hsinchu. They set up shop there because Hsinchu science park was filled with highly educated nerds with no social life. My female target audience in the US would be girls in their late 20's who can't find suitable Taiwanese husbands. I'd arrange for groups to fly to TW and join the local group events, where they match ~60 single guys with ~60 single girls in speed dating, or outdoor activities.

It sounded pretty good until I reviewed their terms and restrictions:

"身心不健全" -- "Body and heart (mind) incomplete/unhealthy" (translation: handicapped)
"傳染性疾病" -- "Communicable disease"
"心臟病" -- "Heart condition"
"氣喘病" -- "Asthma"
"大疾病" -- (Any) "Major sickness"

So um... anyone with above health conditions would be disqualified. Also, they require accurate personal data, including height and weight. When you go to their office for the first time to register, you must bring your resume, ID, educational records, and they'd actually measure and weight you. If you lied about your weight you'd be disqualified.

In the application form, they also specify minimum height of 150 cm for women and 160 cm for men, plus a weight formula of height (cm) minus weight (kg), limit/minimum placed at 100 for women and 85 for men (you must be above this number). So if you're 170 cm tall and weight 100 kg, 170 - 100 = 70, you'd be disqualified (must be >85).

In addition, their activities are age restricted. They use ROC Republican year, which starts in 1911. So when they say "Year 60 group", they mean 1911+60 = 1971 = 38 years old, which means people between the ages of 38-48. Typically they'd specify an age group for women, and the same plus 1 decade group for the men. So if the event is for women ages 20-30, the limit on men's age is 20-40.

======

I couldn't figure out how to make this work in the US, because if I imposed the same conditions, I'd probably get sued.

[Winston]

Momopi,
Yeah I mentioned singleabroad.com on this forum before. How did you find such obscure sites? That site contains many sloppy grammar errors and broken links and is a bit shady. I wouldn't call that an expat site, more of like a dating site. That being said, it's a small site and not as comprehensive with a forum as this one. There are a few small sites with similar themes to this one, about dating foreign girls, but they are usually small sites that just want you to sign up for a newsletter, like travelguideformen.com.

I was primarily talking about mainstream expat sites, the ones listed in the directory I showed you earlier. They offer NOTHING to single lonely men in America and do not inform people that the dating scene is better outside America, at least not in their main content. They are usually resource guides and forums for expats ALREADY living abroad. They don't provide reasons to go abroad. They assume you went abroad for your job or retirement and do not get too personal about it.

Therefore, I guess HappierAbroad is not a pure expat site, more like a hybrid of an expat and international dating site. Or it's in its own category. lol

Anyhow, sorry if I was a bit demanding with you in my asking you questions. But you gotta admit that this site is unique. Other sites do not bring exposure to what this site does. At least give credit where it's due. You gotta admit that the stuff we talk about here is not allowed on most forums and would get one flamed or banned. Believe me, I've tried it.

TW women are VERY picky about their mates. Some are so picky that they remain single their whole lives. I know some of those among my relatives. It'd probably be better if you had matched up lonely TW with Vietnamese, who are far less picky. Or mainland Chinese.

BTW, this discussion is a bit off topic for this thread about Angeles City girl photos, so I'll be splitting it into another thread.

[momopi]

TW women are VERY picky about their mates. Some are so picky that they remain single their whole lives. I know some of those among my relatives. It'd probably be better if you had matched up lonely TW with Vietnamese, who are far less picky. Or mainland Chinese.

BTW, this discussion is a bit off topic for this thread about Angeles City girl photos, so I'll be splitting it into another thread.

I was actually working on sending girls back to TW for matching making. My target audience were 1.5 gen Taiwanese-American women in their late 20's to early 30's.

Most Taiwanese men are aware that they can easily 'bao er nai" in China, there's no need to say anything. If they want it, they only need to find a gig in China and move there. If they're not interested, then that's their choice.

------

If you have picky relatives in TW who are still single and of marriage age, talk to me and I can refer them to a couple match making services in TW. They have group activities in Taoyuan, Hsichu, Taichung, Tainan, and Kaoshiung.

[Winston]

Yeah but I was referring to TW people in general, not just in TW. I meant TW people in general are very picky about lots of things, esp about partners. So matchmaking them is very difficult.

What is "bao er nai"? How do TW men find brides in China? Do they all use agencies or do some just go there and meet girls in public? Or do they use normal dating sites?

I do know a few older singles in TW, but they've given up and aren't looking anymore.

BTW, so is it your position that the reason why this site isn't attractive to the majority of men is because the majority of single men in the US can get dates anytime they want? Or for some other reason or reasons?

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Shhhhh. One is not supposed to talk about such taboo subjects. Cliquishness and exclusivity go against common notions of fairness for all and egalitarianism. You can't be bringing these subjects to light or people might begin to recognize how true they are.

[Winston]

@WorldTraveler

You mentioned in another thread that living abroad is now mainstream. That seems to be true, because you see living abroad videos on YouTube now all over. That's probably good for me, because it explains why my videos are no longer being taken down from YouTube anymore, since expatting or living abroad and perhaps even international dating, are now more mainstream than before so are less taboo.

However, when I see all the other videos on YouTube about "why I left America" I still notice the same pattern in that they always talk about either cost of living or US government tyranny or the high crime rate in their local city. They still NEVER talk about foreign women being more approachable or friendly or feminine or down to earth, or how people are easier to talk to and befriend or how strangers are more open and sociable, or how you have less shyness and social anxiety overseas, etc. We are still the only ones who mention those things and are thus still UNIQUE in that regard. Why? Why is everyone blind to these subjects? To see what I mean go to YouTube and type in "why I left America" and watch all the videos that come up and you will see what I mean. So my question is, WHY? Why is everyone blind to these important subjects? Because what we talk about is still taboo and outside the box? If so, I still don't get it because what we talk about is very simple and obvious and natural, not rocket science. So why don't others see it, including those who have moved abroad on YouTube? Do you see what I mean?