As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

[publicduende]

[MarcosZeitola]

So her baby daddy left her after the birth of their daughter because his pride and ego made it difficult for him to be seen with a woman who is fat and ugly... but a foreign suitor is not supposed to or expected to display the same ego or hold her to the same standards? Preposterous. This is not an uncommon thing, no doubt, but it is uncommon to see it so bluntly and shamelessly spelled out like this. Damn!

I've known a woman from our village who married an American man. She was in her early twenties at the time of their marriage whereas he was in his late sixties. She had two children by two different Filipino fathers, a boy and a girl. This woman was known locally to be a bit wild, a bit easy to get, and she was not particularly attractive either. But the American man married her anyway, and not only did he take her, he also legally adopted her two kids and flew them all to America with his new wife, where he now raises her kids as his own. I know many such stories. In one, a Belgian man married what is very obviously a bar girl, and brought her and her son back to his home country. The woman is very trashy looking, has various tattoos and has the sort of rough face that tells you she used to be a prostitute and likely will not age well. I would see the trashy wife and her morbidly obese Belgian husband on my timeline sometimes, as we have a mutual friend. By now the woman and her husband live in Europe and the woman looks so out of place in the fancy establishments her husband takes her to, it's painful to the eyes... Neither of these men ever had children of their own by their new wives, and given their age and the bitchy nature of their wives, I doubt they get an awful lot of action anyway. They pay for children that are not theirs, raise these children as their own, and in return get bossed around by a woman of questionable origins, far past her prime and never that attractive to begin with.

If living in the Philippines for as long as I have has taught me anything, it has to be that foreign men often really suck at finding a high quality wife. Or not even high quality; they even struggle to find anything half-way decent. In a way, the ones who marry a young, not-too-pretty girl are not bad off at all, as long as the girl is at least reasonable attractive and has a good personality to match. Someone fresh, young, unspoilt. But many of the men, instead, perhaps even the majority of them, end up with women who look so rough even the poorest of rice farmers on harvest day wouldn't pay a dime for their time. Girls who are known in their towns as the village bicycle, prostitutes, "entertainers", "exotic dancers", and most of them single mothers. These men are ridiculed by Filipino men and women alike, usually behind their backs. They're not respected by their in-laws, nor by their peers back home, and they are often the butt of jokes.

I do not know, why any man who knows his value, knows his options, would not weigh them beforehand and aim a little higher. Single mothers are almost always, as a rule of thumb, to be avoided. Obese girls? Forget about it. You could easily get a girl who, while not exactly Miss Universe material, is at the very least fit and slender, or somewhat curvy. There are some men who are perhaps too picky for their own good, but they are in the minority. The majority of men seems to not be picky at all. And if it was just for sex, sure, why not? But to actually marry the lowest of the lowest hanging fruits... that truly baffles me every single time.

[publicduende]

I do not know, why any man who knows his value, knows his options, would not weigh them beforehand and aim a little higher. Single mothers are almost always, as a rule of thumb, to be avoided. Obese girls? Forget about it. You could easily get a girl who, while not exactly Miss Universe material, is at the very least fit and slender, or somewhat curvy. There are some men who are perhaps too picky for their own good, but they are in the minority. The majority of men seems to not be picky at all. And if it was just for sex, sure, why not? But to actually marry the lowest of the lowest hanging fruits... that truly baffles me every single time.

Well, I have been "asserting" my value on different occasions, including a few (if not all) of my latest posts here. All I received is criticism about being snobby, about me being the problem, not Davao or the Philippines.

The effect of being picky in the Philippines is...to remain alone. And, to be honest, I am not even that picky. It just so happens that I set my bar higher than what I can get, at least not without titanic effort, here in this country.

Case on point: I decided to try FC again. Paid the usual $75 of whatever, platinum membership - whatever that means. The quality of the girls contacting me is way lower than those who used to contact me on DIA, which is free. 90% of them are single moms in their 30s and 40s, 95% are not from or around Davao. I have a very nice and long and descriptive profile, with no hint of bitterness in it. I do tell my prospective prospects that I live in Davao, my intention is to continue to live in the Philippines and run my business. In my mind, I should be the ideal partner... No...

[xiongmao]

As far as I can tell the best Asian women are actually on Facebook.

Dating sites are pretty over really, even 4 years ago I was doing better with randos on Wechat than on dating sites. Wechat is completely random because you can't tell how old anyone is, you just have a few photos to go by. Well maybe it's more interesting that way.

[geotek3]

So her baby daddy left her after the birth of their daughter because his pride and ego made it difficult for him to be seen with a woman who is fat and ugly... but a foreign suitor is not supposed to or expected to display the same ego or hold her to the same standards? Preposterous. This is not an uncommon thing, no doubt, but it is uncommon to see it so bluntly and shamelessly spelled out like this. Damn!

I've known a woman from our village who married an American man. She was in her early twenties at the time of their marriage whereas he was in his late sixties. She had two children by two different Filipino fathers, a boy and a girl. This woman was known locally to be a bit wild, a bit easy to get, and she was not particularly attractive either. But the American man married her anyway, and not only did he take her, he also legally adopted her two kids and flew them all to America with his new wife, where he now raises her kids as his own. I know many such stories. In one, a Belgian man married what is very obviously a bar girl, and brought her and her son back to his home country. The woman is very trashy looking, has various tattoos and has the sort of rough face that tells you she used to be a prostitute and likely will not age well. I would see the trashy wife and her morbidly obese Belgian husband on my timeline sometimes, as we have a mutual friend. By now the woman and her husband live in Europe and the woman looks so out of place in the fancy establishments her husband takes her to, it's painful to the eyes... Neither of these men ever had children of their own by their new wives, and given their age and the bitchy nature of their wives, I doubt they get an awful lot of action anyway. They pay for children that are not theirs, raise these children as their own, and in return get bossed around by a woman of questionable origins, far past her prime and never that attractive to begin with.

If living in the Philippines for as long as I have has taught me anything, it has to be that foreign men often really suck at finding a high quality wife. Or not even high quality; they even struggle to find anything half-way decent. In a way, the ones who marry a young, not-too-pretty girl are not bad off at all, as long as the girl is at least reasonable attractive and has a good personality to match. Someone fresh, young, unspoilt. But many of the men, instead, perhaps even the majority of them, end up with women who look so rough even the poorest of rice farmers on harvest day wouldn't pay a dime for their time. Girls who are known in their towns as the village bicycle, prostitutes, "entertainers", "exotic dancers", and most of them single mothers. These men are ridiculed by Filipino men and women alike, usually behind their backs. They're not respected by their in-laws, nor by their peers back home, and they are often the butt of jokes.

I do not know, why any man who knows his value, knows his options, would not weigh them beforehand and aim a little higher. Single mothers are almost always, as a rule of thumb, to be avoided. Obese girls? Forget about it. You could easily get a girl who, while not exactly Miss Universe material, is at the very least fit and slender, or somewhat curvy. There are some men who are perhaps too picky for their own good, but they are in the minority. The majority of men seems to not be picky at all. And if it was just for sex, sure, why not? But to actually marry the lowest of the lowest hanging fruits... that truly baffles me every single time.

Perhaps the fat Belgian, and other guys like him were so starved for female attention that when they arrived in the Philippines they fell in love with the first woman to show them attention? And stopped thinking as soon as they formed an emotional connection? Obviously the guys have some money, so they probably are not total losers.

[publicduende]

Marcos, you're baffled because you probably don't understand this basic truth.

As Geotek says, say a foreigner sets foot in the Philippines. Unless he has already met a quality prospect online and nurtured her for months, if not years, which is a more and more unlikely case - because it requires the foreigner to 1) actually be able to find the needle-in-haystack good girl on a dating site and 2) be patient and persevering enough to court her at a distance - he will obviously be an easy target for those trashy girls who have an agenda. Sometimes a benign agenda, like being shored up financially and get out of a life of complete destitution, more often a shadier one, like get out of the country as fast as possible and run an independent life while being pampered by a subservient man.

So yes, you are right - foreigners should try and put more effort in finding better quality girls, Reality is, though, whatever the effort they put, they will max out not very far from what they got without effort. I have been in the Philippines for exactly 2 years today, and the last thing I can say is I have been living under a rock. And the reason why I am so bitter and disillusioned is because I got totally resigned at the idea that 90% of my dating pool will only be the kinds of poor single moms or unmarried or married-and-dumped-because-unattractive girls, or past-their-prime women.

So long my intentions were a bit more happy-go-lucky, I didn't mind the quantity-without-quality nature of the beast. As soon as I started to look for a worthier partner, that's where the trouble started.

Whatever men say about this disgraced country, the reality is that you have to essentially be a man who is desirable by any standard, to get an equally desirable girl. The Philippines are no exception, really. In fact, as you yourself point out, it's worse! Findind quantity is easier, finding quality much harder.

It just struck me that I actually know a foreign man who is with a top-notch girl. He is a handsome American from NYC, ex Wall Street IT guy, bit like me. He has blue eyes, he is muscular, confident, not too old (probably mid thirties) and his gf is an attractive, classy lawyer whom he met while delivering training classes in Makati.

Maybe that's the trick to meet quality women...mingle in circles where intelligent women mingle. Intellectual activities like public speaking, or training etc. Well, OK but...isn't this something that might work anywhere? I don't think doing it in the Philippines would yield more chances than doing it in Australia or the UK. In fact, due to the conservative, insular personality of Filipinas, I put those odds at less than elsewhere.

Basically, 2 years on, I have to routinely stop and wonder...business, OK, but apart from that, WTF am I doing here in the Philippines?

[droid]

I've known a woman from our village who married an American man. She was in her early twenties at the time of their marriage whereas he was in his late sixties. She had two children by two different Filipino fathers, a boy and a girl. This woman was known locally to be a bit wild, a bit easy to get, and she was not particularly attractive either. But the American man married her anyway, and not only did he take her, he also legally adopted her two kids and flew them all to America with his new wife, where he now raises her kids as his own. I know many such stories. In one, a Belgian man married what is very obviously a bar girl, and brought her and her son back to his home country. The woman is very trashy looking, has various tattoos and has the sort of rough face that tells you she used to be a prostitute and likely will not age well. I would see the trashy wife and her morbidly obese Belgian husband on my timeline sometimes, as we have a mutual friend. By now the woman and her husband live in Europe and the woman looks so out of place in the fancy establishments her husband takes her to, it's painful to the eyes... Neither of these men ever had children of their own by their new wives, and given their age and the bitchy nature of their wives, I doubt they get an awful lot of action anyway. They pay for children that are not theirs, raise these children as their own, and in return get bossed around by a woman of questionable origins, far past her prime and never that attractive to begin with.

Western chumps never fail to swoop in to the occasion and ruin everything. That's why duende got sent that message, simple as that. Nothing against falcon but that was one of those examples as well, it's terrible.
Well in the first case above, given his age, the guy traded it all to secure some younger p*. Kind of more 'understandable', but still messed up, better hire some semi-pro full time.

[publicduende]

Western chumps never fail to swoop in to the occasion and ruin everything. That's why duende got sent that message, simple as that. Nothing against falcon but that was one of those examples as well, it's terrible.
Well in the first case above, given his age, the guy traded it all to secure some younger p*. Kind of more 'understandable', but still messed up, better hire some semi-pro full time.

If those are the Filipinas a man like me can get, I'd rather be alone, or go back to happy-go-lucky, everything-goes mode, which though doesn't give me any more thrills. I am not into P4P at all, for many reasons. So I will leave that option on the side.

I feel burned, disappointed, frustrated. It'll go away, I'll get over it and maybe even be happy to have traded-in much of our "socio-sexual arbitrage" for some decent business opportunities. It's (no) more fun in the Philippines.

[Johnny1975]

If living in the Philippines for as long as I have has taught me anything, it has to be that foreign men often really suck at finding a high quality wife. Or not even high quality; they even struggle to find anything half-way decent. In a way, the ones who marry a young, not-too-pretty girl are not bad off at all, as long as the girl is at least reasonable attractive and has a good personality to match. Someone fresh, young, unspoilt. But many of the men, instead, perhaps even the majority of them, end up with women who look so rough even the poorest of rice farmers on harvest day wouldn't pay a dime for their time. Girls who are known in their towns as the village bicycle, prostitutes, "entertainers", "exotic dancers", and most of them single mothers. These men are ridiculed by Filipino men and women alike, usually behind their backs. They're not respected by their in-laws, nor by their peers back home, and they are often the butt of jokes.

I agree. Most foreigners there are one of these :

Sexpats (who mostly / exclusively go to prostitutes)
Seducers (who go around chatting to girls in malls, etc)
Losers / weirdos / misfits
Retirees

Not exactly the kind of people that a normal guy of normal age can expect reliable / accurate advice from. At least the retirees can give sensible advice but their circumstances are different, so what they want and what you want won't always be the same.

I think most foreigners over there are not the kind of people whose opinions are to be taken seriously, or their example to be followed. The results that they get are based on who they are.

The reason why publicduende is struggling is probably due to filipinos having a certain perception of foreigners. The fact that he (I'm betting, almost certainly) does make an effort to make a good impression doesn't seem to be making much difference.

Publicduende, do you speak fluent tagalog / visayan? If not, maybe you should learn. It might make a big difference. Or is there anything else you can do which will instantly let people around you know that you're not like all the other losers?

[publicduende]

I agree. Most foreigners there are one of these :

Sexpats (who mostly / exclusively go to prostitutes)
Seducers (who go around chatting to girls in malls, etc)
Losers / weirdos / misfits
Retirees

Not exactly the kind of people that a normal guy of normal age can expect reliable / accurate advice from. At least the retirees can give sensible advice but their circumstances are different, so what they want and what you want won't always be the same.

I think most foreigners over there are not the kind of people whose opinions are to be taken seriously, or their example to be followed. The results that they get are based on who they are.

The reason why publicduende is struggling is probably due to filipinos having a certain perception of foreigners. The fact that he (I'm betting, almost certainly) does make an effort to make a good impression doesn't seem to be making much difference.

Publicduende, do you speak fluent tagalog / visayan? If not, maybe you should learn. It might make a big difference. Or is there anything else you can do which will instantly let people around you know that you're not like all the other losers?

I am none of those categories above. Yet my honest opinion has left more than one HA-er baffled. Is it so hard to believe that nowadays the Filipinas who go with foreigners, do so 1) out of necessity or 2) because of lack of better options?

Sexpats are stuck in their seedy areas and will only know that level of fun. Their actions are self-explanatory.

Seducers are probably young tourists who have far too much time (and less money) in their hands and want to feel the thrill of cramming as much action as possible in a single week. At least from what I have seen in Davao or Manila, cold approaches in mall are just as hopeless as anywhere else in the world: yes the girls are more willing to take a selfie and relinquish their phone numbers, but I haven't heard many cases when their first date with Mr Seducer will end up as more than a free meal for the girl and a bitter-sweet smirk on the man.

Losers, weirdos and misfits are probably those who are bound to seeing the most improvement from their home dating cultures. Yes it's true that anyone, and I mean severely autistic men to multi-count felons and sex offenders, can find "something" in the Philippines, especially if they decide to shun the larger cities and head straight to tier 3 and 4 towns. Yet...define "something". I bet my last centavo that 99% of those girls know why they have to date an adult foreigner, but will never tell their men. "Information asymmetry" in market terms, which in this case is even more odious than the foreigner's claim to rockstar status.

That's why I found that woman's statement amazingly honest, yet hardly surprising.

I could even defend them and say their opinion, or perception, is actually right. Say a girl is young, pretty by any standard, well-educated, comes from a family who is maybe not wealthy but well connected and respected in the community, and is able to find a boyfriend from the same age range, the same culture and even (a bonus) a better socio-economic platform.

Why on earth would she want to fall in love with a Westerner one to three decades older, unless she has a serious daddy fetish, or something else weird? This question (and its obvious answer) applies to any girl in any country and culture, from Australia to Zimbabwe.

So I say Philippines visitors are split in 6 categories that are, really, 4:

1. Sexpats, who are happy to pay whatever is left of their year savings to get clam & clap from the fine ladies of Angeles City.

2. Seducers, whose excitement mainly plays in their mind and will be happy to even just play around and bed 1 in 10 of the girls they approach.

3. Losers, weirdos and misfits, who really can't or won't care about the quality of girl they get, either because their judgement system is broken or blinded, or they have no intention to respect the girl anyway.

4. Retirees, who are probably the ones who have it the best down here: they're financially stable, with not much to do with their time, open if not eager to have a young girl spend all of her time with them in the house, taking care of them in exchange for a better existence. Best of all, these guys are rarely interested, if not disillusioned, about the notion of "love". They want something, they get it and they know what they have to give.

5. The odd young and handsome guy like Marcos Z who had an almost "ideological" reason to settle here. Those guys are probably the ones with better options wherever they decide to go.

6. The tiny fringe of people like me who are not too old, not too young, not too ugly not too handsome, and came to the Philippines for reasons that are "outliers". To these people I say...brace yourselves and set your expectations where they should be, because Filipino society will automatically bundle you into categories 1-4. True to form, the women you will be able to get will be those typical of those four. Nothing else.

Finally Johnny, speaking Tagalog or Bisaya does not make any difference. This episode comes to mind:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgLy4otgmaE[/youtube]

where Dwayne the boy spoke some Tagalog and Bisaya before he met her love interest Shanta. Yes it's true that, as they say, they met on Facebook and she contacted him first after watching a video of him singing a Bisaya song. Yet...he is a young, handsome and eligible man from Australia, one who would not be out of place with any good looking Australian girl. She is a cute simpleton from Tacloban, which doesn't strike me as being a large, progressive and cosmopolitan place. National TV even gave this cute couple some air time, perpetuating the myth that the only foreigners worth talking about are those who, despite having a basket full of option, have decided to date Filipinas. Now, that's flattering!

Would have she contacted him all the same if he had dishing out some lingo a local tunes and not so attractive and in his 40s. Maybe, out of curiosity, for a friendship. Not sure something else would have come out of it.

Me speaking more Bisaya or Tagalog would probably impress quite a few people, yet would hardly make me feel more accepted, or more "in the mix". The wall of stereotypes is too strong, and so is the perimeter of our possible dating pool.

[Johnny1975]

I guess I'm just more optimistic than you. As I've mentioned before, I have no doubt that if I ever went there, I'd have plenty of quality options. You know, this could simply be a case of mindset. In my reality, I will get whatever I want in the Philippines. I've chatted to so many filipinas on dating sites and I get along with them very easily. I feel like I know how to interact with them. I know there are certain views about foreigners and views about why a filipina would want to go with one, and I get it, but at the end of the day if you're not a loser and don't look or act like one, I think reasonable people will open their minds a bit.

I don't know how that video proves that knowing tagalog / visayan doesn't make a difference. Of course knowing the language is going to make a difference. It shows that you're serious about learning the culture and you're not just another joker passing through, trying to get easy p***y.

Seriously I think for you it's a combination of bad luck and a negative mindset, and then they feed each other. Also, I can't ignore the fact that other people have far better luck than you. I have to consider various opinions and form an overall picture based on that. And the picture that I have is that if you're a normal guy (the kind that by rights ought to be successful in the west, if only western women weren't so, you know), you should have no problems finding plenty of good quality women, and if you're a bit of a loser you should still find something, albeit lower quality.

Does making all drugs legal work? Maybe Duterte should see how Portugal is doing, and learn a thing or two. Is it possible to find what you want in the Philippines? Maybe you need to seriously find out why the successful ones are successful. You can only talk about it and speculate for so long before you need to ask people and find out for yourself what it is that they're doing that you're not, what you're doing that you shouldn't, or whatever the case may be. When all is said and done, you are failing while others are succeeding. Find out why. It could be something really simple and obvious that you've overlooked, or something that you might never have thought of.

[hammanta]

I agree. Most foreigners there are one of these :

Sexpats (who mostly / exclusively go to prostitutes)
Seducers (who go around chatting to girls in malls, etc)
Losers / weirdos / misfits
Retirees

Not exactly the kind of people that a normal guy of normal age can expect reliable / accurate advice from. At least the retirees can give sensible advice but their circumstances are different, so what they want and what you want won't always be the same.

I think most foreigners over there are not the kind of people whose opinions are to be taken seriously, or their example to be followed. The results that they get are based on who they are.

The reason why publicduende is struggling is probably due to filipinos having a certain perception of foreigners. The fact that he (I'm betting, almost certainly) does make an effort to make a good impression doesn't seem to be making much difference.

Publicduende, do you speak fluent tagalog / visayan? If not, maybe you should learn. It might make a big difference. Or is there anything else you can do which will instantly let people around you know that you're not like all the other losers?

I am none of those categories above. Yet my honest opinion has left more than one HA-er baffled. Is it so hard to believe that nowadays the Filipinas who go with foreigners, do so 1) out of necessity or 2) because of lack of better options?

Sexpats are stuck in their seedy areas and will only know that level of fun. Their actions are self-explanatory.

Seducers are probably young tourists who have far too much time (and less money) in their hands and want to feel the thrill of cramming as much action as possible in a single week. At least from what I have seen in Davao or Manila, cold approaches in mall are just as hopeless as anywhere else in the world: yes the girls are more willing to take a selfie and relinquish their phone numbers, but I haven't heard many cases when their first date with Mr Seducer will end up as more than a free meal for the girl and a bitter-sweet smirk on the man.

Losers, weirdos and misfits are probably those who are bound to seeing the most improvement from their home dating cultures. Yes it's true that anyone, and I mean severely autistic men to multi-count felons and sex offenders, can find "something" in the Philippines, especially if they decide to shun the larger cities and head straight to tier 3 and 4 towns. Yet...define "something". I bet my last centavo that 99% of those girls know why they have to date an adult foreigner, but will never tell their men. "Information asymmetry" in market terms, which in this case is even more odious than the foreigner's claim to rockstar status.

That's why I found that woman's statement amazingly honest, yet hardly surprising.

I could even defend them and say their opinion, or perception, is actually right. Say a girl is young, pretty by any standard, well-educated, comes from a family who is maybe not wealthy but well connected and respected in the community, and is able to find a boyfriend from the same age range, the same culture and even (a bonus) a better socio-economic platform.

Why on earth would she want to fall in love with a Westerner one to three decades older, unless she has a serious daddy fetish, or something else weird? This question (and its obvious answer) applies to any girl in any country and culture, from Australia to Zimbabwe.

So I say Philippines visitors are split in 6 categories that are, really, 4:

1. Sexpats, who are happy to pay whatever is left of their year savings to get clam & clap from the fine ladies of Angeles City.

2. Seducers, whose excitement mainly plays in their mind and will be happy to even just play around and bed 1 in 10 of the girls they approach.

3. Losers, weirdos and misfits, who really can't or won't care about the quality of girl they get, either because their judgement system is broken or blinded, or they have no intention to respect the girl anyway.

4. Retirees, who are probably the ones who have it the best down here: they're financially stable, with not much to do with their time, open if not eager to have a young girl spend all of her time with them in the house, taking care of them in exchange for a better existence. Best of all, these guys are rarely interested, if not disillusioned, about the notion of "love". They want something, they get it and they know what they have to give.

5. The odd young and handsome guy like Marcos Z who had an almost "ideological" reason to settle here. Those guys are probably the ones with better options wherever they decide to go.

6. The tiny fringe of people like me who are not too old, not too young, not too ugly not too handsome, and came to the Philippines for reasons that are "outliers". To these people I say...brace yourselves and set your expectations where they should be, because Filipino society will automatically bundle you into categories 1-4. True to form, the women you will be able to get will be those typical of those four. Nothing else.

Finally Johnny, speaking Tagalog or Bisaya does not make any difference. This episode comes to mind:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgLy4otgmaE[/youtube]

where Dwayne the boy spoke some Tagalog and Bisaya before he met her love interest Shanta. Yes it's true that, as they say, they met on Facebook and she contacted him first after watching a video of him singing a Bisaya song. Yet...he is a young, handsome and eligible man from Australia, one who would not be out of place with any good looking Australian girl. She is a cute simpleton from Tacloban, which doesn't strike me as being a large, progressive and cosmopolitan place. National TV even gave this cute couple some air time, perpetuating the myth that the only foreigners worth talking about are those who, despite having a basket full of option, have decided to date Filipinas. Now, that's flattering!

Would have she contacted him all the same if he had dishing out some lingo a local tunes and not so attractive and in his 40s. Maybe, out of curiosity, for a friendship. Not sure something else would have come out of it.

Me speaking more Bisaya or Tagalog would probably impress quite a few people, yet would hardly make me feel more accepted, or more "in the mix". The wall of stereotypes is too strong, and so is the perimeter of our possible dating pool.

The girl in the video, is she an example the type you seek? Just curious. She's definitely cute and has spunk to her but I wouldn't call her out of reach for a man your age by any means. She is a dime a dozen type female in the Philippines (short, medium skin tone, average to small ass-tits) and typical of the type of female I see dating foreigners.

[Adama]

You men are way too concerned about all this. Shrug your shoulders and say aloud, "So what!"

The problem here is that for some reason most of you are too busy thinking on the group level - both for yourselves and the women - but for some reason you overlook that each person is an individual.

Do women who are users seek after desperate American men to take advantage of them? Yes, but that is because many American men are not discerning among women. They think so little of themselves that they just want any woman. Literally any one of them will do. That's how happy they are just to get one, because they were starved for female attention.

Simple solution is to not be one of those desperate men (don't act desperate!).

The other problem is the suspicion that every woman will be like that. Don't worry about that. Not every woman is going for foreigners simply because they are foreigners. You should know that sometimes the woman likes the man whatever his nationality is. In other words, there are women who will want you whatever your nationality is.

In fact you might want to find women who generally have no interest in foreigners. I always loved the women in Europe when they spoke almost no English and had no interest in foreigners or the states. These are more innocent.

So go for women who want you for you, not your nationality or your money. For goodness sake.

Who cares what she thinks? Who cares what she wants? She's entitled to want what she wants. Don't make a big stink. At the same time, you must simply ignore her and move on to see the other women who aren't like that. Stop dwelling on them and search for the real fish. The bad must simply be sifted out. It is not there for you to magnify and then convince yourself that all the women are just like them.

[gsjackson]

You men are way too concerned about all this. Shrug your shoulders and say aloud, "So what!"

The problem here is that for some reason most of you are too busy thinking on the group level - both for yourselves and the women - but for some reason you overlook that each person is an individual.

Do women who are users seek after desperate American men to take advantage of them? Yes, but that is because many American men are not discerning among women. They think so little of themselves that they just want any woman. Literally any one of them will do. That's how happy they are just to get one, because they were starved for female attention.

Simple solution is to not be one of those desperate men (don't act desperate!).

The other problem is the suspicion that every woman will be like that. Don't worry about that. Not every woman is going for foreigners simply because they are foreigners. You should know that sometimes the woman likes the man whatever his nationality is. In other words, there are women who will want you whatever your nationality is.

In fact you might want to find women who generally have no interest in foreigners. I always loved the women in Europe when they spoke almost no English and had no interest in foreigners or the states. These are more innocent.

So go for women who want you for you, not your nationality or your money. For goodness sake.

Who cares what she thinks? Who cares what she wants? She's entitled to want what she wants. Don't make a big stink. At the same time, you must simply ignore her and move on to see the other women who aren't like that. Stop dwelling on them and search for the real fish. The bad must simply be sifted out. It is not there for you to magnify and then convince yourself that all the women are just like them.

Amen, and to the last sentence especially. PD needs to put down his sociologist's lens. He's just building a mental prison for himself with suppositions that he can't possibly gather enough information to support. Consider the possibility Adama raises that women are actual individuals, and not all alike. I realize that half-assed sociology sizing up women according to their nationality is what this site is all about, but it is of limited usefulness.

[publicduende]

I guess I'm just more optimistic than you. As I've mentioned before, I have no doubt that if I ever went there, I'd have plenty of quality options. You know, this could simply be a case of mindset. In my reality, I will get whatever I want in the Philippines. I've chatted to so many filipinas on dating sites and I get along with them very easily. I feel like I know how to interact with them. I know there are certain views about foreigners and views about why a filipina would want to go with one, and I get it, but at the end of the day if you're not a loser and don't look or act like one, I think reasonable people will open their minds a bit.

Of course you're more optimistic, you are not here Try to be in Davao and, at my age and looking like I do (I am not blonde Viking), approach girls who are worth pursuing, if you actually can find them. They're usually nowhere near a dating site or Tinder - maybe Facebook, if they evemn add you as a friend!

Then you say the problem might be Davao. Of course, it's a large city, girls have more options than, say, Iligan City. Does it mean I have to move to Iligan or spend some time there? I don't know. I have tried with the Dumaguete girl and, despite her bring hot, there were so many yellow and red flags telling me that we didn't have any intellectual connection and I was probably a guy to latch on to for life support, like her sister did with her current husband.

I mean I see it even on FC. The girls from Davao who are even remotely sexy and have something that makes sense on their profiles don't even read my messages. If they do, they won't reply. All I get is the occasional local cougar and girls from small towns. None of them seem worth the effort of even considering visiting them so far from Davao. Again, not being an a**hole, I have no time to waste on "hope trips".

I don't know how that video proves that knowing tagalog / visayan doesn't make a difference. Of course knowing the language is going to make a difference. It shows that you're serious about learning the culture and you're not just another joker passing through, trying to get easy p***y.

I wish I could speak Tagalog and/or Bisaya. I have been spoiled by the kinds of people I usually interact with, who are very well educated to moderately educated and all speak fluent English. With different levels of "nose bleed".

Seriously I think for you it's a combination of bad luck and a negative mindset, and then they feed each other. Also, I can't ignore the fact that other people have far better luck than you. I have to consider various opinions and form an overall picture based on that. And the picture that I have is that if you're a normal guy (the kind that by rights ought to be successful in the west, if only western women weren't so, you know), you should have no problems finding plenty of good quality women, and if you're a bit of a loser you should still find something, albeit lower quality.

I think it's a mix of realism and the obvious disillusion on how things work here for a foreigner. People who had "far better luck than me" are usually with girls I wouldn't want to have a one-night stand with. I am not the envious type, yet I wish I had someone around me I could envy. The only men whose ladies I wish I was with are Filipinos. No foreigners. It's a matter of expectations. Maybe most Westerners who come here don't expect much more than a girl, any girl, who seems to be caring, not completely hideous and gives them what they want. As you said on another reply, they just go with the flow without thinking too much. It's not me who "overthinks", it's them who come here without expectations or standards and end up "underthinking".

Does making all drugs legal work? Maybe Duterte should see how Portugal is doing, and learn a thing or two. Is it possible to find what you want in the Philippines? Maybe you need to seriously find out why the successful ones are successful. You can only talk about it and speculate for so long before you need to ask people and find out for yourself what it is that they're doing that you're not, what you're doing that you shouldn't, or whatever the case may be. When all is said and done, you are failing while others are succeeding. Find out why. It could be something really simple and obvious that you've overlooked, or something that you might never have thought of.

Again, sorry for sounding harsh, but I would consider success by my standards, not by other foreigners' standards. When p***y is plentiful, it's easy to get blinded to the simple fact that, just because we are in our 40s and not Filipinos, we are automatically relegated to the bottom of the dating food chain. The others, they either don't know or don't care. I do, because I am here and I am finding it hard to keep my expectations lower.