The truth about being a white guy in Asia

[mentor]

Guys that succeed are networking! I met my wife online and before we first chatted, I went thru 100s of profiles before I stumbled upon her. So this entire process is HARD WORK. If it isn't hard work, then these guys are settling for the low hanging fruit which never appealed to me. I figured that if I was going to go thru the journey, I wouldn't stop until I was able to meet one of Asia's finest. Hope this puts the topic into perspective a bit...

I remember my first time going overseas and dating internationally. There were guys coming to Ukraine who were engaged to their potential wives after one meeting. I remember thinking these guys would spend more time buying a used car than did to find a wife they planned on spending their lives with. No wonder so many of these guys failed. Many of these marriage agencies promote the myth that foreign women are desperate and want to marry Western men. Yes, any woman who is desperate enough to marry you after one meeting would make a horrible wife. In fact I know two Pinays in the USA who divorced their husbands after two years. I asked them why they married their husbands. The answer was the same, "he was the first man who came over and was serious about marriage."

Even if someone spend enough time and efforts to know his future lifetime partner,
how can he ever be sure that she did not married him just to get a green card/permanent visa?
I think this is one of the highest risks when choosing a girl from abroad.
If it is going to have a divorce, then it doesn't matter if it is from a domestic or foreign lady...
I am very concerned about this topic.

[Yohan]

double post, deleted

[Yohan]

double post, deleted

[Yohan]

Even if someone spend enough time and efforts to know his future lifetime partner,
how can he ever be sure that she did not married him just to get a green card/permanent visa?
I think this is one of the highest risks when choosing a girl from abroad.
If it is going to have a divorce, then it doesn't matter if it is from a domestic or foreign lady...
I am very concerned about this topic.

This is only the case with a girl from a poor country.

Not every girl from abroad is interested in a green card, there are many who prefer to continue to live in their native country, but would like - maybe because of some bad experience with a local man or their own relatives or such a reason to find nevertheless a partner who is NOT a local but from abroad.

Further not every girl from abroad needs really a visa or green card, as the economic situation in her own country is not bad at all and she qualifies easily for her own independent visa as an overseas student or for a working permit as an employee of an international company etc.....

For example, I am from Austria (EU) and my wife is Japanese. Even without any visa, an Austrian (EU) citizen can stay visa-free up to 6 months (180 days) in Japan and same with any Japanese citizen visiting my native country in return. I am now in Japan since over 40 years, but I was NEVER on a spouse visa. I do not need any Japanese person to assist me for living in Japan.

My Japanese wife, before marriage, was living in Germany, working for a branch office of a Japanese company, she also had her own working permit, no need to look for a local man for a 'green card' or similar document.

[pete98146]

Guys that succeed are networking! I met my wife online and before we first chatted, I went thru 100s of profiles before I stumbled upon her. So this entire process is HARD WORK. If it isn't hard work, then these guys are settling for the low hanging fruit which never appealed to me. I figured that if I was going to go thru the journey, I wouldn't stop until I was able to meet one of Asia's finest. Hope this puts the topic into perspective a bit...

I remember my first time going overseas and dating internationally. There were guys coming to Ukraine who were engaged to their potential wives after one meeting. I remember thinking these guys would spend more time buying a used car than did to find a wife they planned on spending their lives with. No wonder so many of these guys failed. Many of these marriage agencies promote the myth that foreign women are desperate and want to marry Western men. Yes, any woman who is desperate enough to marry you after one meeting would make a horrible wife. In fact I know two Pinays in the USA who divorced their husbands after two years. I asked them why they married their husbands. The answer was the same, "he was the first man who came over and was serious about marriage."

Even if someone spend enough time and efforts to know his future lifetime partner,
how can he ever be sure that she did not married him just to get a green card/permanent visa?
I think this is one of the highest risks when choosing a girl from abroad.
If it is going to have a divorce, then it doesn't matter if it is from a domestic or foreign lady...
I am very concerned about this topic.

Obviously there are no guarantees in life. This could happen to any of us. The biggest way to overcome this hurdle is to be up front with the ladies. I told them all that I was not in a hurry to make any decision. In fact, I "courted" my wife for 3 years before we married. Now granted, in retrospect, three years is too long but you get my point. If I were to do it all over again, I would tell the ladies that it will be a 2 year process and during that time it's her responsibility to earn my respect and trust.

Drop a line like this on any girl looking for only green card and you'll never hear from her again.

[publicduende]

Obviously there are no guarantees in life. This could happen to any of us. The biggest way to overcome this hurdle is to be up front with the ladies. I told them all that I was not in a hurry to make any decision. In fact, I "courted" my wife for 3 years before we married. Now granted, in retrospect, three years is too long but you get my point. If I were to do it all over again, I would tell the ladies that it will be a 2 year process and during that time it's her responsibility to earn my respect and trust.

Drop a line like this on any girl looking for only green card and you'll never hear from her again.

Pete, your patience and perseverance did you good, very good. I am 43, perhaps not so much younger than you, and yet belong to a generation who "wants it soon, or not worth having". This applies to girls, too. How many girls of the age of your better half, when you first starting to court her, would want to be courted at a distance for 3 long years before giving themselves to their potential partner? 11+ years ago Internet was a precious rare resource, low-cost flights were almost unheard of and social media were still a novelty item.

The miracle that is you and your wife isn't going to happen so easily. It was already a miracle then, it's mythology now.

[yick]

The truth about being a white guy in Asia is that there is a difference between being a white guy and a white guy in the movies - when women say 'I like white guys' what they mean is what the see in movies - tall, good shape, charming, funny, good looking - which is why if you're bald or you have a shaven head - first thing they say? You look like The Rock/Vin Diesel/Jason Statham/Bruce Willis - a lot of time, they will compare you to movie stars because their reference point for attraction are what they see in the cinema.

So basically, the more positive attributes that you have that you share with famous caucasian movie stars - the better you will do, obviously, you don't have to look like Chris Evans (American actor, not British DJ) just share important traits like similar hair or height or physique - it is usually a package deal so having the same colour eyes or hair as Chris Evans won't be enough.

Also, you see some absolute physical heaps who are local but dating beauties - because you're a physical heap as well doesn't mean you are going to reap the same rewards for obvious reasons - you're a foreigner, you don't offer anything in the way of respect or face and it's a joke to think that you do (except for the Philippines more than likely...) - in fact, you offer a potential loss of face - being white isn't enough if you aren't above average - it's going to be a struggle (and if a local girl decides to date you locally, she likes you - a lot).

In China, I caught the attention of some beautiful women who could barely say hello and thus had no real interest in 'western culture' or 'westerners' but chemistry and base attraction will knock out of the way all these things if she likes you and what she sees. Saying that there were plenty of women who had no interest in me at all and wouldn't be seen dead with me (or any foreigner...). So - YMMV - but being white on its own isn't enough - and in China - white can include Turks and Middle Easterners, Hispanics, light skinned Indians, some mixed-race people like some Hapas who can pass as 'white' and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay) but it wouldn't have mattered to them either) Native light skinned Americans, the list is pretty endless...

Hapas and overseas Asians will always do better than a white dude.

[Johnny1975]

I'm a chinky faggot loser.

We are all aware of this.

[yick]

I'm a chinky faggot loser.

We are all aware of this.

All future correspondence will be here from now on, Mr Universal Credit.

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=36857

[Johnny1975]

My mother is a fat transsexual with a profile on pinalove (https://www.pinalove.com/johnny1975) and I'm a faggot retard.

We are all aware of this.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

In China, I caught the attention of some beautiful women who could barely say hello and thus had no real interest in 'western culture' or 'westerners' but chemistry and base attraction will knock out of the way all these things if she likes you and what she sees. Saying that there were plenty of women who had no interest in me at all and wouldn't be seen dead with me (or any foreigner...). So - YMMV - but being white on its own isn't enough - and in China - white can include Turks and Middle Easterners, Hispanics, light skinned Indians, some mixed-race people like some Hapas who can pass as 'white' and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay) but it wouldn't have mattered to them either) Native light skinned Americans, the list is pretty endless...

Hapas and overseas Asians will always do better than a white dude.

Again, you Anglospheric Western cultured people do not know your proper and common nouns: black is a color; Black is a race. Furthermore, he was not and is not Black; he has Black blood in him but is Mixed Race with sub Saharan blood. You started out well and then reverted to Jim Crow in your diatribe there. Please speak English properly. It's no wonder foreign mudsharks speak English horribly whenever they learn it. They think that's how English should be spoken.

[yick]

In China, I caught the attention of some beautiful women who could barely say hello and thus had no real interest in 'western culture' or 'westerners' but chemistry and base attraction will knock out of the way all these things if she likes you and what she sees. Saying that there were plenty of women who had no interest in me at all and wouldn't be seen dead with me (or any foreigner...). So - YMMV - but being white on its own isn't enough - and in China - white can include Turks and Middle Easterners, Hispanics, light skinned Indians, some mixed-race people like some Hapas who can pass as 'white' and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay) but it wouldn't have mattered to them either) Native light skinned Americans, the list is pretty endless...

Hapas and overseas Asians will always do better than a white dude.

Again, you Anglospheric Western cultured people do not know your proper and common nouns: black is a color; Black is a race. Furthermore, he was not and is not Black; he has Black blood in him but is Mixed Race with sub Saharan blood. You started out well and then reverted to Jim Crow in your diatribe there. Please speak English properly. It's no wonder foreign mudsharks speak English horribly whenever they learn it. They think that's how English should be spoken.

Like I said...

and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay)

They didn't know he had black parentage as part of his DNA. They just thought he was a straight up white man.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

In China, I caught the attention of some beautiful women who could barely say hello and thus had no real interest in 'western culture' or 'westerners' but chemistry and base attraction will knock out of the way all these things if she likes you and what she sees. Saying that there were plenty of women who had no interest in me at all and wouldn't be seen dead with me (or any foreigner...). So - YMMV - but being white on its own isn't enough - and in China - white can include Turks and Middle Easterners, Hispanics, light skinned Indians, some mixed-race people like some Hapas who can pass as 'white' and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay) but it wouldn't have mattered to them either) Native light skinned Americans, the list is pretty endless...

Hapas and overseas Asians will always do better than a white dude.

Again, you Anglospheric Western cultured people do not know your proper and common nouns: black is a color; Black is a race. Furthermore, he was not and is not Black; he has Black blood in him but is Mixed Race with sub Saharan blood. You started out well and then reverted to Jim Crow in your diatribe there. Please speak English properly. It's no wonder foreign mudsharks speak English horribly whenever they learn it. They think that's how English should be spoken.

Like I said...

and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay)

They didn't know he had black parentage as part of his DNA. They just thought he was a straight up white man.

Okay I see what you mean. I just think that the part I b.itched about shouldn't have been stated that way but the rest of what you said is correct.

[yick]

In China, I caught the attention of some beautiful women who could barely say hello and thus had no real interest in 'western culture' or 'westerners' but chemistry and base attraction will knock out of the way all these things if she likes you and what she sees. Saying that there were plenty of women who had no interest in me at all and wouldn't be seen dead with me (or any foreigner...). So - YMMV - but being white on its own isn't enough - and in China - white can include Turks and Middle Easterners, Hispanics, light skinned Indians, some mixed-race people like some Hapas who can pass as 'white' and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay) but it wouldn't have mattered to them either) Native light skinned Americans, the list is pretty endless...

Hapas and overseas Asians will always do better than a white dude.

Again, you Anglospheric Western cultured people do not know your proper and common nouns: black is a color; Black is a race. Furthermore, he was not and is not Black; he has Black blood in him but is Mixed Race with sub Saharan blood. You started out well and then reverted to Jim Crow in your diatribe there. Please speak English properly. It's no wonder foreign mudsharks speak English horribly whenever they learn it. They think that's how English should be spoken.

Like I said...

and some half black/half white men (Wentworth Miller is one such example of a mixed race man who swept the whole of East Asia off its feet when he starred in Prison Break - they didn't know he was black (or gay)

They didn't know he had black parentage as part of his DNA. They just thought he was a straight up white man.

Okay I see what you mean. I just think that the part I b.itched about shouldn't have been stated that way but the rest of what you said is correct.

You're not being nice for no reason, chill out - I have no problem with you.

[Johnny1975]

My mother is a fat transsexual with a profile on pinalove (https://www.pinalove.com/johnny1975) and I'm a faggot retard.

We are all aware of this.