My Thread on Chinese Women and China

[Eric]

I'm going to go off on a limb and say, I don't like Chinese culture & I don't like Chinese women. The women...I find, are much too high maintenance for me - as is the culture in general, but they just do nothing for me. I can't stand their attitude, most of them. Everytime I encounter them its usually this "I'm way, way too good to talk to you. You're just a piece of trash white man" or its "I'm up here and I'm very special, I'm high maintenance and you need to do x,yz, be x,y,z and respect me) vibe....and they are prude on top of it - won't even sleep with you, I grow sick of it. I'm tolerant, but not stupid. White women are much easier, in almost all departments - and being back away from Western women has made me appreciate the things about them I've taken for granted, more.

I just don't like Chinese culture. It's too idiosyncratic - it doesn't make sense to me. At all - I'll be first to admit I'm confused. They are super proud - but what about? What have they done...give away the glory of their country and dynasties to the communists? China is pathetic, if you ask me -there's nothing to be proud about here, that's why the people are so proud I think - to compensate. It's really sad, they haven't done anything, everything they make breaks and is cheap, everyone expects and demands respect for themselves and everything Chinese, but doesn't give it back. It makes me angry. I'm about to be brutal with my assessment of China. China is not great. It is a thoroughly destructed country with an ignoramus population - who only cares about money/materialism. After the Jews/Communists destroyed the empires, China's real culture, nothing was left - they injected communism and materialism to thoroughly break down the people and break apart families.
It amazes me that the Chinese even have such a pride for their families as they do seem to - I can't understand this; they obviously have no real traditional culture left, so where did it come from? I know the Communists did everything they could to break apart family. Why is family so important to Chinese/ Is this leftover Confucianism?

Can someone, a veteran of Chinese culture, please give me your feedback?

Also, they stare at you constantly, and have no respect for you if you're from another country. Theirs is the best. I hate the way Chinese think. They are always staring at you - trying to see if they can get you to conform, scrutinizing, comparing...watching, waiting for you to break, with amusement it seems like. I'm really starting to despise them.

The Chinese women are too difficult. Believe me, I know a difficult woman when I see one/ I've avoided women my whole life - and Chinese women are Difficult, high maintenance, conceited, vain.... material, they put on a constant bitchface which they think makes them pouty and sophisticated & vulnerable, but it really makes them just look highly unnattractive, to men- and they also look really stupid in hats with stickers on them. They think every man wants them and they are the standard (they aren't, at least for me), and on top of that they've not even got it going that I don't find Asian women particularly that attractive to begin with. I can't stand women who think they are all that, and Chinese women do. It makes me bite back vomit in my stomach a little every time I see them - sometimes, but I keep going.
They are way too traditional - It is depressing, demanding and honestly it's boring. I could get much better women easier and with less difficulty with white women. Overall, I find all women to be parasitic, leech-like, vampiric and gold diggers; like a vacuous black hole that you cant get too near. I think the sole purpose of woman was to suck the life out of man. That is the truth. They disgust me often times with their behavior, and just when I think I want to do with them, I see them. And I want nothing to do with them. I can't stand women. I admit it, I have misogynist feelings. I don't like that I have them.
They're oh so sweet!! and feminine when you're just going on your way, always craving for attention....this is what I mean by vampiric. They just sit there, trying to suck you into their vortex. But it's always with....it's just not the entire picture. It's like there's always this other something extra, stuff you have to do for them. And the list never ends - this is why women are evil. They wrap men around their fingers, and suck the life out of him. You have to marry them, be completely theirs and all always theirs. This doesn't seem fair to a man. It seems fair to women - and this is why they're happy with it - men arent. Yet, men are told they need to marry and that they should be happy.
Excuse me, but what the f**k? What's going on here.


This is the age old conundrum with men & women. When I'm out actively looking for women or a woman, it's like they know it and despise me...act conceited and vain etc. I wish women would just give me a chance. I hate them, and I hate this. This is why men and women will never understand each other. We have different ways of approaching things. Men think the women just want to suck them in and control them (they do...) and whenever men try at getting women; the women just think they all want sex, and so blow them off, leaving the men frustrated. It's this vicious cycle.
I can't stand women's bitchy behavior. If they would just understand that I am not a predator when I'm just trying to talk to them, it's how I am, it's how men are.

I'm tired. I'm thinking of marriage. My mind is racing everywhere. I'm thinking of a lot of things. I just wanted to put this input down on paper. I cant even decide if I want to put all my efforts into getting married. Is it really worth it?
I want to just mess around and have fun - if I spend for a marriage, thats a big commitment- will it pay off, is that the way to go?

I'm really tired of this frustration/frustrating situation that doesn't have to be between me and women. I'm tired of it. I feel like I could be having so much more ease, free and enjoyment. I don't and have never understood what the problem is.
Maybe it's compromise? I don't understand some men who seem to have easy interactions with women.

[yick]

I will try and make this as compact a reply as possible.

You are in Beijing and judging China based on that city. It would be like basing America on New York (the most important cultural hub of the country) and saying all the women there are the sole representative of American women - it would be wrong. If Beijing isn't suiting you - go somewhere else in the country - it is a massive country.

Two - you have only been there a few months, you don't know enough to impart with that judgment - are there terrible Chinese women - yes, the same amount that there is terrible American men, but you wouldn't want someone making a judgment on you based on the crap behaviour of someone else.

Three - the nicest looking women interested in me could not speak a word of English over 'hello' and 'bye-bye' getting a woman in China is a long term plan or it should be.

Four - if you don't like the look of the women (and that's fine...) well, go to a place where they rock your world - if you like Latinas, go to Colombia or I don't know - Mexico. If you like white women - go to Russia or the Ukraine.

You are thinking too much about everything, just slow down and enjoy the present, leave China at the end of the contract (or before) it isn't the army - you are allowed to leave anytime but you know - you are going through culture shock and the anger that it entials, don't be too proud to admit it and then people can help.

There are loads of great Chinese girls here, if they don't float whatever boat you have then there isn't a whole lot they can do to entice you - go and find somewhere else.

[Adama]

If you run across to the other side of the world, it doesn't always work out, especially not immediately. You should be in the honeymoon period, but I suspect your depression and hatred of women is what is really troubling you.

Keep in mind that up to 75-85% of people are simply not compatible and never will be. So really only between 15-25% of women are officially "eligible." After that, among the eligible women, you still must determine which one likes you. Attraction is not a choice. So the woman doesn't have a choice as to whether she likes you or not. It's not up to her. That happens within her soul, and she must comply with it.

So just keep an eye open for the women who seem attracted to you, but the subtle ones who seem somewhat fearful, not the over-the-top women who are professional flirts and teases.

Don't bother with the cold approach because with your personality type, it will only make your depression worse. Wait for warm indicators, and if they show conflicting signs or they are disrespectful in any way, eliminate them from your list immediately and move on.

Don't expect every person you see to be polite, courteous or even decent.

As for the depression, I went to a foreign country when I was depressed and everything women did I misconstrued as negative because of my depression. After I came out of my depression, I looked back, and it was my misinterpretation of the motivation for people's actions. I realized they weren't actually being mean at all. I just couldn't see that at the time.

[Adama]

Western women has made me appreciate the things about them I've taken for granted, more.

Personally I think it is much easier to simply "unplug" a woman from feminism, than it is to move to a non-western country, learn their language, establish a base, etc. All you have to do with a western woman is find one who likes you. If she likes you, she'll listen. And if she doesn't listen, then you can move on. For the woman who will listen to you, just debunk feminism by showing her the truth. For people who like the truth and can accept it, that will immediately unplug them. If she really wants to believe she is an equal-superior to a man, then you need to move on anyway, because such women are the problem which must be avoided.

You don't have to live or believe the same way everyone else does. Search for the woman who will put you on the pedestal as the man. That is what you want. The evil women want men to put them on the pedestal. That is what you do not want, because then you're working for them.

The woman was created for the man, not the man for the woman. Also, it is the woman's job to dispense help to the man. It is not her job to charge a fee. Always remember that.

[yick]

I think there are two kinds of people regarding settling in somewhere culturally alien, the first one has a 'Honeymoon Period' where everything is new and exciting and they are bouncing off the walls for four months, posting all their photos on facebook and then after four months, when a routine sets in and they get used to everything - boredom sets in and they are itching to go and see another place - a lot of women have the 'honeymoon phase' mentality.

Now me - I hate a place - doesn't matter where - until I get used to it and develop a routine and work settles down - it might take six months to two years. China took a looooong
time because it is different, everything is different here but I love it, it isn't perfect but I feel at home here and I would miss it terribly if I ever had to leave but - it took a long time to get to that juncture. I would rather be the way I am now than some 'honeymoon period' kind of person, that would do my head in.

[Ghost]

.

[Citizen]

That is a great rant. Way to vent. Never taught in China but taught in Japan and Korea. Read Yick's post sounds like you have been there a few months. After the first couple months in a foreign country most people hit this "wall". Must be some sort of brain information overload. Result..."I hate everything in country X". Break through the wall, truly acclimatize, and things get better for most people. People also stare at celebrities. YOU decide what you are to them a freak or a celebrity.
PS I doubt women despise you they are just picking up on your unhappiness and it disconcerts them. Try to be happy. Start small. Take up running or some sort of martial art. Here, this is being despised....I was in Athens last year...I looked at cute girl, on the plump side with a nice rack, in McDonald's. She saw me look. Afterwards I was waiting for the tram. The girl and her friend came over. She went up to a stranger, one of those retarded pigeon men now living in Greece and pretending to be the real Greeks, and passionately kissed him. He was in complete shock. Then she turned, glared at me with a look of pure hatred, gave me a look of I can do anything I want and walked away. That is hatred. I never hurt her, I just looked at her. If the women in China are not doing that to you then have a chance.
PPS false jews vs the real jews. The real jews are fantastic. They create wondrous things. The people who destroy things because they are parasites are the false jews.

Pigeons do nothing except walk around on the beach, hunt for food and fck as many hens as possible.

[starchild5]

You just also described Indian women..seems like Indian and Chinese women are same.

As discussed earlier, I think you will fit in well only with Filipinas...they seem more into your vibe...if you are freedom oriented person, independent thinker...Philippines is the place. I would be waiting for your review on Philippines. I think that's the reason, most Americans marry Filipinas. Not sure it will be for you, but that's the hopeful doorway, where many people have found refuge..

Regarding starring, Germans stare even more, Indians too...Its just the way some culture are..Its nothing personal.

"The Germanic Stare Down": Watcha Lookin' at, Granny?
http://www.spiegel.de/international/the ... 18068.html

Staring Germans, why do they do it so?

http://www.toytowngermany.com/forum/top ... -do-it-so/

Why do Indians stare *all* the f***ing time? I'm a guy, by the way.



Why do Indians stare at other people?
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-Indians-st ... her-people

By the way, Filipinos/Filipinas don't stare...so there goes half of your problem

[Eric]

That is a great rant. Way to vent. Never taught in China but taught in Japan and Korea. Read Yick's post sounds like you have been there a few months. After the first couple months in a foreign country most people hit this "wall". Must be some sort of brain information overload. Result..."I hate everything in country X". Break through the wall, truly acclimatize, and things get better for most people. People also stare at celebrities. YOU decide what you are to them a freak or a celebrity.
PS I doubt women despise you they are just picking up on your unhappiness and it disconcerts them. Try to be happy. Start small. Take up running or some sort of martial art. Here, this is being despised....I was in Athens last year...I looked at cute girl, on the plump side with a nice rack, in McDonald's. She saw me look. Afterwards I was waiting for the tram. The girl and her friend came over. She went up to a stranger, one of those retarded pigeon men now living in Greece and pretending to be the real Greeks, and passionately kissed him. He was in complete shock. Then she turned, glared at me with a look of pure hatred, gave me a look of I can do anything I want and walked away. That is hatred. I never hurt her, I just looked at her. If the women in China are not doing that to you then have a chance.
PPS false jews vs the real jews. The real jews are fantastic. They create wondrous things. The people who destroy things because they are parasites are the false jews.

Pigeons do nothing except walk around on the beach, hunt for food and fck as many hens as possible.

I get it. I'm just not comfortable or used to being a celebrity All of the Time. I actually had the same thought, that now I "know what it's like being a celebrity"... why they are always complaining of privacy, how hard it is....and why they have to have sequestered mansions away from people. It really must be awful. Even though we make fun of them - totally understandable.
I can't even go out and eat a meal without the inquisitive/prying and sometimes intrusive gaze of the Chinese I feel all around me. I try to be polite but it's exhausting. It's absolutely exhausting and stressful always putting up with that, when you just want to relax and let your guard down.



I was sitting in a restaurant called "Uncle Sam's" yesterday...go figure - and it was by a large window. I was the only one in the restaurant, because it was so damned expensive - which I figured out. But then just like a zoo exhibit, three old Chinese plopped right across the street from me and were just staring at me, all of them pointing and smiling as if I weren't human, trying to just enjoy my lunch. I felt it was very rude. Then a mother with a child walked by, I caught the eye of the little girl - and then it was as if a circus. I expressed irritation and tried to double down and eat my meal, but I looked up and the Mom was waving at me, like the girl was - so I waived back. They left.
It's like this.

starchild5, my review of the Philippines you really don't want to hear. I thought it was an absolute shit hole. Although, I never got out of Manila, except to a small town maybe an hour out - but my review is unchanged. Poor, depraved.....I didn't feel safe/ or welcome I don't think, for one minute while I was there. I did, however; feel that there were envious hateful eyes watching me at all times. Hateful eyes of men especially who just wanted inside to rob, kill me, and take everything that I had. I also felt the females that hadn't sold their soul .....were very sour towards me in their attitude.
It's a very depressing country, if you ask me. The government keeps it very VERY poor, the people are like slaves there that will do anything for anything, because they have no money.

I felt it was very sad.
I would however like to, make it to one of the islands next time and enjoy the beaches - the nice things Philippines has to offer.

[droid]

I was sitting in a restaurant called "Uncle Sam's" yesterday...go figure - and it was by a large window. I was the only one in the restaurant, because it was so damned expensive - which I figured out. But then just like a zoo exhibit, three old Chinese plopped right across the street from me and were just staring at me, all of them pointing and smiling as if I weren't human, trying to just enjoy my lunch. I felt it was very rude. Then a mother with a child walked by, I caught the eye of the little girl - and then it was as if a circus. I expressed irritation and tried to double down and eat my meal, but I looked up and the Mom was waving at me, like the girl was - so I waived back. They left.
It's like this.

feel that there were envious hateful eyes watching me at all times. Hateful eyes of men especially who just wanted inside to rob, kill me, and take everything that I had. I also felt the females that hadn't sold their soul .....were very sour towards me in their attitude.

Jesus you really are a nut, seriously, stop blaming the external stimuli and go back to a lonely suburb dude. For some guys it really is too late to leave the west, the brain rotting has done too much damage already.

What the f*k do you really want exactly? can you answer this to yourself?
Maybe cdnfa has some spare room for you in his basement, you will find peace in there. That's the solution for you. But then you'd start posting about how annoyed you are at his constant mouse-clicking and so on

There are loads of great Chinese girls here, if they don't float whatever boat you have

There's no boat to float in there

[yick]

There's no boat to float in there

I think he might need to think about a re-location somewhere else.

Part of living here is putting up with stupid shit, you get used to it sooner or later, here is a SUPERB article about culture shock and getting used to it. it should be required reading for every 'Happier Abroader'.

http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/how- ... y-life.htm

I still get pissed off at people taking sneak photos when I am eating, or silly juvenile men going 'herrrrrrrrrrrrrro' but I just call them out - call them a 'f***ing wanker' and then it is done and dusted - I get on with the rest of my day, if you let things stew then your day is ruined for nothing.

And when all is said and done - there are loads of great people here - as Droid knows, they are the people you should focus on. There are wankers everywhere.

[yick]

Chinese women, you either fit with them or you don't. There are a few exceptions, sure. Hell, I almost had an exception or two. And any white guy could probably get a girlfriend in China if he's wiling to lower his standards and go for either an ugly girl or a shengnu. (But then why live in China for leftovers?)

You started well there - saying - YMMV - and that is quite correct, depending on who you are will determine what kind of woman you will get. How you look, how you dress, do you speak Chinese, your personality - not one size fits all - no two westerners will have the same dating experiences.

However - you then go onto equate a 'lowering of standards' to 'shengnu'

Now, if you are stupid enough to adopt the typical Chinese males dating preferences (meaning any woman over the age of 27 - the shengnu's - are out) then dating will become really difficult in China - and secondly - they are shengnu's are shengnu's for a reason - they are really picky - they comprimise doctors, surgeons, government officials, business owners, lawyers, CEO's - high quality women who would have no problem getting their equal in a western country.

Sure - there are some crazy and mad shengnu's but there are some crazy and mad western expats. But if you manage to snare some of shengnu's - you would be doing very well.

The attractive girls are almost always stuck up looking and have a bitch face. The ones who don't are KTV hookers or whatever. Let's face it, there is a huge cultural and language barrier between West and East and it isn't likely that any given expat will be able to deal with it. Most Western guys who marry Chinese women end up being very reliant on their wives to do everything. The laziest Chinese language learners are married expats in China. So even if you marry there it doesn't mean you've "figured it out" necessarily - it may just mean that you've gotten roped in and found yourself a "lifer" in an alien land.

You end being a lifer wherever you go - yes, even in the Philippines or Thailand - so you end up being a lifer in China, so what?

For some reason - you don't mention the many many young, very attractive, very cute ladies that live here - let's just say on a Ghost scaling they are between 5-7 - and then one mans five can be another mans six because we don't all like the same thing - there are loads and loads of them here - I see a different one everytime I turn my head, that's nothing like England where I might see a cute woman once a week. You can't get the 10's - so what? Are you a 10 yourself? If you want a 10 then you need to be a 10 - which is what I would tell my own son.

Working and living in China is easy. Dating is complicated and weird. You can't read Chinese women easily. They can be direct but also nearly impossible to figure out. The hot ones will be as bitchy as Western females. It's not easy in my experience to form a serious connection with a Chinese girl. And on that point, I think you either have the connection with the culture or you don't. Or perhaps you take the hard way and stick it out until you understand the culture inside and out - but that's very unlikely and you won't have much motivation for such a far-off and iffy prize.

You find it hard fella, not everyone does.

I can make female friends easily in China. Most of my Chinese friends are. Friends who help me with finding work, teaching me Chinese, helping me out and showing me around places. But I have never felt a romantic or profound connection with any I've met in person, nor have I perceived any romantic interest from them.

This is Ghosts personal experience - don't take it as a blanket view, because it isn't - your results will probably vary from the above.

[droid]

There's no boat to float in there

I think he might need to think about a re-location somewhere else.

He should move to Korea, he will be completely and utterly ignored there. But then what is the whole goddamn point?

Part of living here is putting up with stupid shit, you get used to it sooner or later, here is a SUPERB article about culture shock and getting used to it. it should be required reading for every 'Happier Abroader'.

http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/how- ... y-life.htm

I still get pissed off at people taking sneak photos when I am eating, or silly juvenile men going 'herrrrrrrrrrrrrro' but I just call them out - call them a 'f***ing wanker' and then it is done and dusted - I get on with the rest of my day, if you let things stew then your day is ruined for nothing.

And when all is said and done - there are loads of great people here - as Droid knows, they are the people you should focus on. There are wankers everywhere.

I don't really get what is so wrong about some people (including girls) looking at you and saying hello.
Heck there's even plenty of other stuff he could complain about.

I don't see it, they look, i say hello, they say hello, that's it. But no 'whaaaaaaah' 'somebody looked at me, i'm depressed, i despise them'.

[yick]

With 'Herrrrrrrrro'

Depends, whose doing and how - if there are a bunch of blokes and they see you coming and they are all looking at each other and you know what's coming - it is annoying, I am not going to deny it doesn't annoy me - I know the difference between 'herrrrrrrrrrro' and someone going 'hello - how are you?' there is a difference, if someone who I don't know says 'hello, how are you?' then I am going to respond in kind, but if some Chinese/Korean (never ever happened in Japan - funnily enough) wanker wants to big it up with his friends then he is going to cop abuse.

And women will rarely do it, it is usually teenage boys and middle aged men - the two most similar demographics in regards behaviour and IQ.

Again, it is about being polite and acting like an intelligent and civilised human being - I mean - they had a 5000 year start on us - they should lead by example.

[droid]

With 'Herrrrrrrrro'
Depends, whose doing and how - if there are a bunch of blokes and they see you coming and they are all looking at each other and you know what's coming - it is annoying, I am not going to deny it doesn't annoy me - I know the difference between 'herrrrrrrrrrro' and someone going 'hello - how are you?' there is a difference, if someone who I don't know says 'hello, how are you?' then I am going to respond in kind, but if some Chinese/Korean (never ever happened in Japan - funnily enough) wanker wants to big it up with his friends then he is going to cop abuse.
And women will rarely do it, it is usually teenage boys and middle aged men - the two most similar demographics in regards behaviour and IQ.

Again, it is about being polite and acting like an intelligent and civilised human being - I mean - they had a 5000 year start on us - they should lead by example.

That's the thing, i stopped saying people "should" X or Y a long time ago. It is what it is, one may of course think of changes and even give them suggestions, but to make ones' life miserable over these -honestly- trivial differences makes no sense.
I know if I move with the Masai i will eventually have to do the jump dance or what not.

http://middlekingdomlife.com/guide/how- ... y-life.htm

"Maybe even worse than the language barrier was how I felt every time I drove my motorbike around town. I hated the way the Chinese selfishly and dangerously ignored traffic laws. It would be fair to say that my blood pressure reached stroke range every single time I was foolish enough to ride that bike into town. I would curse and scream and yell at them at the top of my lungs for being so stupid and they would look at me with a blank stare as if they had no idea what I was referring to, after having just knocked me down. I guess it was a good idea that I made a point not to learn one curse word in Chinese or I probably would have been killed by a mob during one of those episodes.

So my initial four years here were pretty tough. I was just about miserable all the time. And then something very strange began to happen.
Without deliberately meaning to, I found that I was beginning to adjust.

and the most remarkable thing happened after I had just escaped from yet another near-miss: I laughed! It wasn’t a laugh of mockery or contempt. It was the type of laugh one would emit in response to a joke or situation that is both funny and sad at the same time. Then it hit me that not only had I come to expect the unforeseeable, I had found acceptance of it for the first time in my life.
Another strange thing happened to me, just around the same time I began relaxing and laughing off things that would happen on the road (and at work) that used to enrage me—In my deeply profound social isolation, I began to finally enjoy my own..."

So that crank that, at his age, should've known better from the start, took four years to realize that?
And in the mean time he yelled and cursed at them on their turf?
Glad to know the treatment worked for him

I'm not saying i don't have anything to complain about though, the nose-picking and booger rubbing I really find aggravating.
But these things seem to go hand in hand, you either have clean streets and 'civilized' behavior but with people that completely ignore or snub you. Or you have friendly people but their behavior is somewhat less 'civilized'. Choose one.