UPDATE: The Forum has been RESTORED! See announcement here. Welcome back everyone!
Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
Can anyone answer a few simple questions about meeting girls in China. I have read some posts but there seems to be much contradicting information.
I am 53 y ears old, average looks and average body. Not fat.
My goal is to meet beautiful women. Preferably 35 and younger. 25 and younger being more preferred. Were would be a good place, city , to start in?
I dont know a word of Chinese. Am I wasting my time going there? I know that speaking some Chinese will help but I am really awful at learning a language. One member said he experiences better English in China than the Philippines. Others certainly disagreed.
From my reading it seems Chinese women are even more interested in foreign men than Filipinas? True? I mean I understand the level of interest of Filipinas in American men but some of the members of this site and others claim that they had Chinese women swarming them.
A quick search unearthed the fact that it is about 40% cheaper in China than the US, where I am from. Does that sound about right?
There seems to be a big gap in those that say they can easily get laid and those that say otherwise. Which is true? I got laid often in Cebu, although many were average in looks. I did NOT have much luck in Cebu meeting women in the mall or on the street. Most were from DIA or P4P. Had a couple gf's but average in looks. It seems the Chinese women are much more attractive on average but that is just my taste. How easy or hard is it to find a girl for a gfe that includes sex?
Any advice about meeting women for a first timer would be appreciated.
Let me try to help you out. I am also 53, and when I was 50-51 yrs I made several trips to China for meeting ladies. Here is some of my experiences:
1. Chinese women are generally interested in Western men, but cautious and also concerned about acceptance with their families. As a result, only a minuscule percentage are on the dating sites compared to Philippines and Thailand. My professional Chinese business colleagues told me I would have "platinum status" in China, meaning I could pick amongst many interested women including doctors and other high status women.
2. I screened and sifted through Many Chinese women. In favor of Chinese women are higher educational standards and work ethic. In disfavor are that the truly attractive, younger ones without kids are hard to get. You will be looking at late 30s and above unless you want a dumb village girl.
3. All the Chinese women I met were a little weird and quirky by Western standards. This is a real issue compared to Thai or Filipinas.
4. Bait and switch. Many Chinese ladies have photoshopped their pics. In person they can look rather plain and much less attractive. This was my experience with 4 out of 6. I will say they all had very firm, fresh and young looking bodies! But gray, broken teeth and lack of style is common.
5. For those in which we had serious communications before my visit, they were bedded within 10 minutes of our meeting. This usually entailed them checking me into my hotel room and helping me unpack. If she thinks you could be the one then you are getting laid if you want to. As an aside, the Chinese p***y is so tight and amazing feeling!
6. Learn the cultural norms and etiquette but there is no need to learn such a complicated language unless you enjoy it. Always be a gentleman and never talk about sex or even imply it. This will alert the Asian lady and may create distrust in your intentions. I got whatever I wanted from virtually all the Asian women I met, China and elsewhere, by never bringing up the sex subject. In turn they trusted me and my intentions and open themselves to me literally and figuratively (I was honestly looking for a future wife too)
In the final analysis, for me I found Thai women to be a better choice over Chinese because you can get a younger, more attractive, educated ones if that matters to you?
When pursuing any Asian woman - Chinese, Thai, Filipina, Japanese, Korean, Indonesian - you had better get your game together first if you want a good one. Great photos will boost your potential and a clear, simple explanation of what you have accomplished in life and why you want an Asian wife is essential. Chinese have a great detector for men just looking for a girlfriend for vacation fun and tourism. NEVER EVER TELL THEM YOU HAVE BEEN TO PHILS OR ANYWHERE ELSE IN SOUTH ASIA UNLESS YOU CAN CONVINCE THEM IS WAS STRICTLY A BUSINESS TRIP. Any man having gone to Phils or Thailand in the past will be suspected as a monger (which you were LOL).
Last bit of advise. Learn to screen them quickly and don't waste your time with those having a messed up background or convoluted story. You will get all types of stories, and its the stories you don't know about that are even worse. With a shortage of women in China, a 38-year old Chinese lady who is attractive better have a great explanation for why she is single.
I have been to China twice, for work not play. This was Shanghai.
There's a park when I went there that has parents trying to marry off their children. No photos are shown, just stats. This gives some idea of Chinese thinking.
Your goals aren't clear. Are you looking for short term recreationals or something long term?
Thank you two for your response. Drealm to answer your question. I am looking for a short term,1 night, to a week up to 30 days, girlfriend. Not looking for a wife. Might consider it if I found the right one but NOT what I am after. I do however get attached to girls easily and I could see me falling for the right one. Frankly I am mongering but I dont want a P4P just because I dont enjoy that. I have been clipped and I want to go bare back. I love being in the company of a sweet woman, who doesnt, and want to travel, see the sights, eat, drink, shop with a beautiful Asian woman. The Filipinas I spent time with were ALL very sweet. I did find my gf's in the Philippines on DIA. Also met some on the streets but they were working girls.
It sounds like the dating sites are not worth the effort in China. Is it possible to meet them on the street, malls, restaurants, ect? You know it is easy to meet girls this way in the Philippines, although this is not where I met most of my gf's.
Guys since post I have stumbled on "A Complete Dating Guide To Mainland Chinese Women"
There is allot of information although he makes it clear that he was searching for a wife and his advice is geared towards that endeavor. He writes this about mongering and I am curious about anyone's thoughts on this.
*WARNING* Do not monger sweet/pure girls in China, by promising marriage and other things. Doing so we initiate what the locals call a "Human flesh search" for the evil laowai. If they find you before the police they will confront you, beat you up, and call the police. You will be jailed or deported, usually both. You will get a lifetime ban from China too
Now let me say that I will NOT promise marriage but I will be sweet, a gentleman and romantic.
I know they are all looking for marriage. What women is not??? Certainly in the USA they are trying to get that ball and chain on you. So is China really a good place to meet women? Looking for a gf or just plain mongering.
Lorenze, weather I am looking for a wife or not I do not mind an uneducated woman or a dumb village girl. Dont ask me why but I am more attracted to that type woman even here in the states. Educated, career women just turn me off.
So with that said would it be a good idea to search out these women and would they be hard to meet, date, bed? Would it be easier to find this type woman and would she be more interested in an American?
What you're talking about sounds like a sugar daddy or mistress arrangement. No personal experience with this and never heard a foreigner doing one. I have been told by my Chinese colleagues that it's common in China, but this is always between Chinese.
This city seems to be known for it:
I had girls from smaller cities and semi-rural regions begging me to come to them. These were younger ladies with lower education and it would have been instant hookup! The idea of randomly hitting on girls in public does not really appeal to me. That is why I prefer the efficiency of the internet (China Cupid site). You can line them up and knock them down as you work your way through the country. I had girls waiting in every city my first trip to China, though none turned out to be spectacular, they were all sweet and caring. Warning: Some Chinese girls do not let go easy, there was lots of drama with the breakups of a few and it does take its emotional toll on you. I think Thailand is a better option for your game plan but I understand you have a bucket list going lol.
No its not like a Suger Daddy. I do that in the States to get young beautiful women and believe me it works great. I usually give them money each time they come to see me, usually at my house. I love this SD arrangement. I usually keep one long term SB while working on another.
I just want to meet pretty Asians and treat them as I would any other gf. Travel, eat out,and of course sex. It the Philippines my gf and I went boat riding, rented a scooter for a few days in Bohol, went snorkeling, ate at great restaurants, sang karaoke,hung out in clubs, listen to bands, went to casinos and more. Just like I would do with my gf here in the states. And just like my gf here I at some point will probably want to move on. Here is the states she usually does some shit that gives me a good reason to dump her. In the Philippines I have gotten quite attached to girls and we practically in tears when I left. However once back here in the US I came to my senses,even though sometimes it took a couple months.
Simply put I want to meet girls and date them. Is this doable in China. The first things I read said this was absolutely doable and the women would be all over most Americans. I am still getting allot of conflicting info.
I am really thinking China is not a good place to meet gf's.
Lorenzo if what you are telling me is accurate then China might just be perfect. What about language barrier in the semi rural areas with lower educated women? I love to use the net to meet women it that works. It is the greatest tool here in the US and as I said I met several gf's in Philly on DIA.
Okay this clarifies, you want a non paid albeit short-term girl friend experience. I have heard of guys doing this, but they always present the outlook of the relationship to girls dishonestly or at least ambiguously. I did see many white guys in Shanghai late at night probably doing this, they were typically young and competing in the club scene. I think Chinese women are naive enough that you can take advantage of them but I suspect there will be bigger consequences for dumping them than in Philippines. The so called left over women are probably easier to screw.
I never met many girls in China randomly nor did I try. They are very curious about Western men, I got attention in smaller places, but having a hookup/GF experience from a random street meet is unlikely in China. The advantage of internet dating is this - you get to screen them and known them first. The bigger factor is that they are waiting for you, their prince charming, their hero who is flying half way around the world just to meet them. This makes them feel like you are the special one and you sacrificed for them. Most will have already made up their mind they are staying with you to protect from other women and share maximum time together which means sleeping together and the benefits that go with it. As a result, upon arrival they are yours! You simply can't get that positive momentum from a random meet and it would take far longer to get to GF status and intimacy unless she is slutty.
Keep your intentions feeling serious without verbal commitment and you will do fine. Do ask them how many BFs they have had in the past, that makes them feel like you are screening for wife material By the way, these Chinese girls have been influenced by a lot of fairytale crap their whole life, so try to be that guy who comes to their rescue LOL.
Thanks Lorenzo, i love that angle of the Prince charming coming around the world to meet them. China is a large country. How do you choose where to go? Should you just choose small towns close to big cities? I already know that travel in a strange country is not usually easy. And what about the language barrier in these smaller towns.
You might be asking for trouble being insincere like that. Breakups can get very emotional and even lead to violence, or even suicide. Just look at English language China news sites to see about foreigners getting beaten half to death by leading girls on in order to get sex. The girls will be expecting a long term relationship leading to marriage, and when that falls apart, things can go bad very quickly. Also, one guy was arrested for running around doing this.
Just because you are ambiguous, or don't explicitly say you are looking for marriage, we all know what they really want and expect and being disingenuous can be dangerous. You are talking about potentially ruining girls for life, as their chances with a local man are next to zero after being with a foreigner.
If you go big cities, you can find more open girls who would be down for some fun time together without false promises. They are modern and somewhat westernised.
“b***y is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of b***y in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan
Yea adventurer I really dont want to hurt anyone. I guess being from the US I am used to getting easy sex without much commitment. If it is going to actually "ruin a girl for life" I aint interested in that. I do have a conscience. The Pinay, even if they are hoping for something permanent they seem to be ok with something short term if it benefits them. Not all of course but the ones I met and spent time with. As I said, China is looking like a bad idea.
Getting China is work. You've got to get a VISA and the country is generally quite boring lacking good entertainment options. Most of the girls are boring too. Going to the Cinema the is very expensive, not really any good beach resorts etc.
I would go to Thailand, you will get younger, hotter normal girls. Chinese ladies DO NOT go for a big age gap - maybe 10 years - so your Phil experience is entirely different. English language is poorly spoken so it is harder to communicate in China compared than Thailand IMO. People, including women, are less friendly and more cold.
If you go don't do the breakup thing until you are home, then write an email about your change of heart. By the way I would not put it past the Chinese government to be monitoring this site and putting your name in a database, so please do be careful what you write here. Having unmarried sex and hotel sex between a foreigner and a local women is illegal but rarely enforced (unless there is a complaint filed, then oh shit you got problems).