As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

[Adama]

As long as you have people with p***y-goggles who would accept any woman who is younger, more slender and more submissive than the valkyrie they had as ex-wife back home.

This is why I never really offered any advice. It's quite clear that some people don't know what's good in life and have their eyes on the ends of the earth.

A woman who's single, pretty, with a degree and no kids will not really be into foreigners because they can find a good job and have a good life even without a foreigner.

How many of you are still excited at the prospect of having a girl who is with you because you are the only way to live a better life? I am personally not so keen. P***y is important, but dignity is even more important. Of course p***y can be an excellent reason to drop one's dignity for a while...but then it comes back.

That sounds like self-serving nonsense, as Droid has pointed out. So this woman says something that aligns with your thinking, and she is therefore correct? Lots of people out there making up stories. Lots of women out there talking smack. That doesn't mean it's true.

Again, Droid is right. Any woman describing herself as pretty, regardless whether she's pretty or not, probably has an inflated ego. That's literally up there with self-worship.

Secondly, just because she says pretty women ONLY do xyz, that doesn't mean that she knows what she's talking about. All she can talk about is herself, and I wouldn't trust the words of anyone who thinks very highly of themselves and expresses it.

Just like the friends I used to have, who all told me I was ugly stealthily. Some people tell lies because they want to see you hurt, because it uplifts them, and gives them delight.

[publicduende]

That sounds like self-serving nonsense, as Droid has pointed out. So this woman says something that aligns with your thinking, and she is therefore correct? Lots of people out there making up stories. Lots of women out there talking smack. That doesn't mean it's true.

Again, Droid is right. Any woman describing herself as pretty, regardless whether she's pretty or not, probably has an inflated ego. That's literally up there with self-worship.

Secondly, just because she says pretty women ONLY do xyz, that doesn't mean that she knows what she's talking about. All she can talk about is herself, and I wouldn't trust the words of anyone who thinks very highly of themselves and expresses it.

Just like the friends I used to have, who all told me I was ugly stealthily. Some people tell lies because they want to see you hurt, because it uplifts them, and gives them delight.

This woman told me something that aligns to my experience so far, and it's not a tiny experience, having met hundreds of girls for dating, for business or casually. This woman doesn't happen to be pretty. I am still chatting with her so I apologise if that statement context was not too clear. What she meant is "let's assume that a girl was pretty, single, etc."

Believe me, I know her very well, she anything but full of herself.

Nobody has every told me I am ugly, not even stealthily. Even if I was handsome by any standard, I am still an "adult foreigner" and relegated to a specific niche of the Filipino dating pool. This is a fact. You might still have some leeway as you are probably in your mid 20s. But you have to move, and fast!

[Adama]

That "fact" is what has destroyed you. There is no such fact. There is a "mostly" or a "sometimes." Nothing is so black and white as some people make them out to be.

And not everyone knows what they're talking about. Mostly they're just repeating nonsense they've heard other people say. They don't have answers, just platitudes.

My experience was that I was ugly. People told me I was ugly under cover (She better like it from behind; why did they hire someone as nasty looking as him? it's because it's based on who can do the job, not what you look like; you're having delusions of grandeur (you're not good looking); yeah she was checking you out, yeah right). That was my experience through people, because they were working to deceive me and hurt me.

That's why I don't believe a word anyone says. Always consider the opposite MIGHT be and often is true.

[publicduende]

That "fact" is what has destroyed you. There is no such fact. There is a "mostly" or a "sometimes." Nothing is so black and white as some people make them out to be.

And not everyone knows what they're talking about. Mostly they're just repeating nonsense they've heard other people say. They don't have answers, just platitudes.

My experience was that I was ugly. People told me I was ugly under cover (She better like it from behind; why did they hire someone as nasty looking as him? it's because it's based on who can do the job, not what you look like; you're having delusions of grandeur (you're not good looking); yeah she was checking you out, yeah right). That was my experience through people, because they were working to deceive me and hurt me.

That's why I don't believe a word anyone says. Always consider the opposite MIGHT be and often is true.

It's a statistical fact, Adama. The only reason why most men who come over here are too blind to notice is because:
1) they are only here for fun, so they couldn't care less if the girl has 0 or 3 kids back home or with her granny, if she has stretchmarks or no degree;
2) they are here to look for a girl to marry and, whether they are going to be back home (most of the times) or settle here (mostly as retirees), all they want is any girl as long as she is young and can give her sex once a day - these are the guys who invariably end up with rock-bottom girls, either trashy girls or good and honest girls, but far from attractive, at least by local standards. In any of these cases, I have my sincere doubts they are with the guy out of love. It's out of necessity. That guy, or another guy like him, or they have to fend off for themselves.

I am sorry about those statements, Adama. If that is a collage of what has been said to you, that's pretty nasty and cruel and stupid stuff. Of course most of that crap comes out of people who are trying to deliberately hurt you. Nobody here is claiming to be a Zac Efron or a George Clooney, but it is true that Asian girls tend to see foreigners as marginally more handsome.

Everybody here says I am gwapo but, believe me, I have never considered myself to be more than a 6, maybe 6.5 when I am well in shape. And, believe, these sticky girls and men with an agenda always flattering me...they make me feel even worse than if they told me I am ugly. You wouldn't want to have that, either.

[Adama]

That sounds like self-serving nonsense, as Droid has pointed out. So this woman says something that aligns with your thinking, and she is therefore correct? Lots of people out there making up stories. Lots of women out there talking smack. That doesn't mean it's true.

Again, Droid is right. Any woman describing herself as pretty, regardless whether she's pretty or not, probably has an inflated ego. That's literally up there with self-worship.

Secondly, just because she says pretty women ONLY do xyz, that doesn't mean that she knows what she's talking about. All she can talk about is herself, and I wouldn't trust the words of anyone who thinks very highly of themselves and expresses it.

Just like the friends I used to have, who all told me I was ugly stealthily. Some people tell lies because they want to see you hurt, because it uplifts them, and gives them delight.

This woman told me something that aligns to my experience so far, and it's not a tiny experience, having met hundreds of girls for dating, for business or casually. This woman doesn't happen to be pretty. I am still chatting with her so I apologise if that statement context was not too clear. What she meant is "let's assume that a girl was pretty, single, etc."

Believe me, I know her very well, she anything but full of herself.

Nobody has every told me I am ugly, not even stealthily. Even if I was handsome by any standard, I am still an "adult foreigner" and relegated to a specific niche of the Filipino dating pool. This is a fact. You might still have some leeway as you are probably in your mid 20s. But you have to move, and fast!

It may actually be that way. Or your assumption that it is 100% that way has skewed all of your perceptions to the point where you can't even see good possibilities that are there in the background.

Why would a man be unable to see good possibilities? Perhaps because he's already decided that they don't exist. So therefore good things are something else and not as plain as they are, because he's chosen to believe in something incorrect rather than accepting reality for what it is.

Your belief system will skew your reality. You believe in something dark, then you will see that darkness everywhere.

[Adama]

That "fact" is what has destroyed you. There is no such fact. There is a "mostly" or a "sometimes." Nothing is so black and white as some people make them out to be.

And not everyone knows what they're talking about. Mostly they're just repeating nonsense they've heard other people say. They don't have answers, just platitudes.

My experience was that I was ugly. People told me I was ugly under cover (She better like it from behind; why did they hire someone as nasty looking as him? it's because it's based on who can do the job, not what you look like; you're having delusions of grandeur (you're not good looking); yeah she was checking you out, yeah right). That was my experience through people, because they were working to deceive me and hurt me.

That's why I don't believe a word anyone says. Always consider the opposite MIGHT be and often is true.

It's a statistical fact, Adama. The only reason why most men who come over here are too blind to notice is because:
1) they are only here for fun, so they couldn't care less if the girl has 0 or 3 kids back home or with her granny, if she has stretchmarks or no degree;
2) they are here to look for a girl to marry and, whether they are going to be back home (most of the times) or settle here (mostly as retirees), all they want is any girl as long as she is young and can give her sex once a day - these are the guys who invariably end up with rock-bottom girls, either trashy girls or good and honest girls, but far from attractive, at least by local standards. In any of these cases, I have my sincere doubts they are with the guy out of love. It's out of necessity. That guy, or another guy like him, or they have to fend off for themselves.

Yes, but that's them. Those are the results of THEIR CHOICES. That's not to say that that is what is reserved to foreigners just because that's what most foreigners get.

[Adama]

What you need is closer to here:
- younger, more slender and more submissive than the valkyrie they had as ex-wife back home.

Without going all the way to here:
-rock-bottom girls, either trashy girls or good and honest girls, but far from attractive.

Somehow maybe you've conflated these two as being the same.

[publicduende]

It may actually be that way. Or your assumption that it is 100% that way has skewed all of your perceptions to the point where you can't even see good possibilities that are there in the background.

Why would a man be unable to see good possibilities? Perhaps because he's already decided that they don't exist. So therefore good things are something else and not as plain as they are, because he's chosen to believe in something incorrect rather than accepting reality for what it is.

Your belief system will skew your reality. You believe in something dark, then you will see that darkness everywhere.

For Heaven's sake! Why are all these doubts, however legit, coming from people who have never been to the friggin' Philippines, if not for a couple of weeks? No offense, as usual, but where are the good possibilities?

You are a Christian and believe that a woman's main purpose is to serve the man and his children. You probably don't care how educated or engaging or even good looking the girl is. You are probably OK with shelling out money to help the girl, her kids (if she has kids) and her family, for the rest of your life.

If so, please do come here, because the Philippines offer an OCEAN of possibilities. That much I can guarantee you.

I am looking for something else in women, have always and always will. And it recently dawned on me, with mathematical certainty (these threads being but dark divertissement), that I just cannot have what I want, not here, not in any country. So I fall in line for my dumb piece of brown-skin a** from the province, or I walk. I will probably walk.

[publicduende]

Yes, but that's them. Those are the results of THEIR CHOICES. That's not to say that that is what is reserved to foreigners just because that's what most foreigners get.

It might well be the results of their choices. It remains that there are not so many choices. If they were, I would see more foreigners with girls like this:

http://www.facebook.com/yammaila.siega

and less with girls like this:

http://www.facebook.com/darian.data

(and for the latter category - I picked up a foreigner's dream girl)

[Yohan]

For Heaven's sake! Why are all these doubts, however legit, coming from people who have never been to the friggin' Philippines, if not for a couple of weeks? No offense, as usual, but where are the good possibilities?

Living here in Asia, I ask the same question to many people from the States - they argue about this and that in foreign countries they never visited in their life and think, in USA is everything better, easier, cheaper etc. etc. Many US citizens cannot jump over their own shadow....

That's a bit better in Europe, as most Europeans travel a lot around outsider their own small countries and know the world is not the same everywhere.

[Adama]

For Heaven's sake! Why are all these doubts, however legit, coming from people who have never been to the friggin' Philippines, if not for a couple of weeks? No offense, as usual, but where are the good possibilities?

Go ahead and dismiss me as not credible. I don't care.

You are a Christian and believe that a woman's main purpose is to serve the man and his children. You probably don't care how educated or engaging or even good looking the girl is. You are probably OK with shelling out money to help the girl, her kids (if she has kids) and her family, for the rest of your life.

So I am willing to marry a single mother because I'm Christian? Actually I don't have an interest in most of what you've concluded there, somehow.

I am looking for something else in women, have always and always will. And it recently dawned on me, with mathematical certainty (these threads being but dark divertissement), that I just cannot have what I want, not here, not in any country.

Well that is obvious.

I am looking for something else in women, have always and always will. And it recently dawned on me, with mathematical certainty (these threads being but dark divertissement), that I just cannot have what I want, not here, not in any country.

Since you have admitted here that it is not country specific, I wonder why you are making it about the Philippines (and me) in your opening statement.

[publicduende]

For Heaven's sake! Why are all these doubts, however legit, coming from people who have never been to the friggin' Philippines, if not for a couple of weeks? No offense, as usual, but where are the good possibilities?

Go ahead and dismiss me as not credible. I don't care.

Well, if you had some first-hand knowledge, you would be more credible.

You are a Christian and believe that a woman's main purpose is to serve the man and his children. You probably don't care how educated or engaging or even good looking the girl is. You are probably OK with shelling out money to help the girl, her kids (if she has kids) and her family, for the rest of your life.

So I am willing to marry a single mother because I'm Christian? Actually I don't have an interest in most of what you've concluded there, somehow.

Then let's rewind: you'll be just as out of luck in the Philippines as I have been.

I am looking for something else in women, have always and always will. And it recently dawned on me, with mathematical certainty (these threads being but dark divertissement), that I just cannot have what I want, not here, not in any country.

Since you have admitted here that it is not country specific, I wonder why you are making it about the Philippines (and me) in your opening statement.

Because that's where I am right now. So I have to make a decision.

[dragonsmack68]

Yes, but that's them. Those are the results of THEIR CHOICES. That's not to say that that is what is reserved to foreigners just because that's what most foreigners get.

It might well be the results of their choices. It remains that there are not so many choices. If they were, I would see more foreigners with girls like this:

http://www.facebook.com/yammaila.siega

and less with girls like this:

http://www.facebook.com/darian.data

(and for the latter category - I picked up a foreigner's dream girl)

I think you don't see more foreigners with someone like the one in your first Facebook link because they are looking for younger women, not girls that look 16 years old (most normal foreigners at least).

So I fall in line for my dumb piece of brown-skin a** from the province, or I walk.

This truly says a lot about your character.

[publicduende]

I think you don't see more foreigners with someone like the one in your first Facebook link because they are looking for younger women, not girls that look 16 years old (most normal foreigners at least).

It's a random profile I found on Facebook, she doesn't look 16 and certainly she's not 16. Ironically most 50-something foreigners I know are expressly looking for the youngest possible piece of girl who wants to be with them. They don't seem to care about how poor and uneducated she is, how much connection they have with her, how she looks like, etc.

So I fall in line for my dumb piece of brown-skin a** from the province, or I walk.

This truly says a lot about your character.

I might sound entitled, but I just want to make sure I don't make a mistake.

My ex-wife was a mechanical engineer with a masters in management, she was smart and hot. We didn't have have much in common and that led us to drift apart over time.

If intellect-wise she's my benchmark, how low do you want me to go?

I have tried to compromise, but I can't. And I recommend anyone to think twice before doing it.

[Johnny1975]

Random thoughts....

I don't understand why a filipina would naturally not be interested in a foreigner, and the only reason she would consider it is if her options are limited. Some people make it seem like filipinas secretly resent having to go with a foreigner. Come on now.

Publicduende, what's wrong with the 2nd facebook girl that you linked to? There's nothing wrong with her, she's very nice. If a girl like that is considered low standard by her own people, then they can send them all my way. Silly snobs. So much for filipino pride.

I stand by what I've said. I believe most filipinas are pretty decent looking (although not the best dressers), and genuinely nice people. And I believe that once you know the signs, there are plenty of gems to be found all around.

People see what they want to see. And they'll never believe that this is true. And there are always neat explanations for everything.

Meanwhile, there are probably plenty of foreigners over there living quiet, happy lives with really nice women. You don't hear from them because they have nothing to prove or complain about. If I ever end up there you'll never hear from me again. It will be a huge loss for the forum, I know. But that's how it has to be.