I asked Rock why there aren't as many Thai women in relationships with Western men as there are Filipinas with Western men. Here's his long reply:
Winston:
I mean there are many relationships between filipino women and western men. But not as many between thai women and western men. Why is that? Is there a reason? I been wondering about it.
I mean serious relationships or marriages. Not just short term relationship.
Do u know the reason? Do u wonder the same thing? Why not many marriages between thai women and western men?
Is it because thai women only want thai men? And they just use western men for money?
I asked some thai girls about this. They have no answer. Why? Lol. Do they only react on instinct like animals and cannot think or reason? Lol
Rock:
Don't expect a Thai girl to give you a big-picture type answer because they mainly know Thailand but not what things are like in other countries.
First of all, there are quite a few marriages between Thai women and western men. A high percentage of Thai women in those marriages are from poor farm backgrounds and grew up in the relatively backward Issan region of Thailand. Many of them were already single moms when they started dating western guys and many also came from foreigner oriented P4P industry. So most of the Thai girls who pair up with western guys are not exactly mainstream central Thais but rather damaged goods in the eyes of the Thais. So why is it less common for Thai women to marry western men than it is for Filipinas? I can think of a few logical reasons. Filipinas are, on average, poorer than Thais so are more motivated to marry a guy from the first world. Moreover, the general living environment in Philippines is much less pleasant than that in Thailand given all the pollution, crowding, substandard infrastructure and housing, and poor government services, etc. So a large percentage of Filipinos would like to settle in a new country whereas overwhelming majority of Thais love their country and would prefer to stay put. Filipinos have a much easier time relating to western culture and lifestyles than Thais do. Of course, Filipinos tend to have much better English language skills than do Thais and communication is practically important in long term cross culture relationships. Thais love themselves and then other E/NE Asians more than they other people and cultures, no matter white, black, Latin, Middle Eastern, Indian, or whatever else. Filipinos historically have looked up to the USA and liked Americans and other westerners. Most Filipino families have connections to the west through relatives who have settled in those countries. Pop culture heartthrobs and icons the local youth look up to are mostly of Asian origin in Thailand whereas for Philippines, a lot of westerners and western looking mixed Pinoys are among those the young girls go crazy over. Also remember, Thailand has been flooded over the decades by ho monger western men and dirty western hippies and backpackers into drugs and habits that insult polite Thai sensibilities. Thais are taught from an early age to be proud of their identity and see themselves as superior to foreigners, especially non-Asian foreigners. So many Thais, deeper down, hold westerners in contempt. Does all of that make sense?
Winston:
Yes it does. But do Thai girls even like foreigners? Can I post that long reply in the forum?
Rock:
You can post it. As for do Thai girls even like foreigners, my answer is: Most prefer Thai guys but there are always some oddball types who don't fit in so well w their own culture. A lot of girls will still be open to non-Thais, especially other Asians but also to certain western guys. There are subsets of girls w niche tastes who may be into attractive Scandinavian guys or romantic latin guys, sweet talking Nigerian guys, etc. Also, a lot of Thai girls are open to other NE Asians, especially Korean guys due to the popularity boost K-Pop has given them all around Asia. And there are some girls, especially from Issan, who gravitate towards western guys for security reasons combined with their relatively low status in Thai society.
Also remember, even if a girl prefers one type (say she wants a local Thai guy), the right foreign guy may still be able to win her over. Sure there are some who will only go with other Thais no matter what but others who prefer Thais will be open to non-Thais if the guy is good enough at winner her over.
Winston:
So my chances in Thailand are decent then? Even with non p4p girls? But it isnt easy right? Still takes time and effort. But achievable right? Are my chances there better than China? But not as good as Philippines right? I think Thai girls are a lot classier. Dont u wanna find a Thai equivalent of Allara? Lol
Yeah it seems asian women, especially uneducated ones, are not good at giving explanations or reasons. they just say "well if i like him then i like him". Very simple. Lol
Rock:
From life experience, don't you get the impression that whether or not you meet a girl and what type of girl may like you is at least in part up to destiny? I think someone like you might not appeal to Thais who originate from central region within 2-3 hours of Bangkok. You are an anti-materialism guy who grew up in a western culture. You don't have much common ground with Thais other than your appearance. I remember Man-In-Siam from your forum stayed in Bangkok at least for several months back in 2013 I think. He is a Korean American, 40ish, tall and slim, serious and quiet demeanor, and decent looking. He got some dates from dating sites but couldn't seem to establish any sort of bond with any of the girls he met. So my guess is that you would have better chances with poor rural Thai girls from the northeast. But usually, these girls have a practical side when it comes to relationships and they will likely expect financial help from you to consider you as a serious partner. Also, I think that on average, Thai women, as compared to Filipinas, may be more calculating and shrewd when it comes to extracting help from foreigners.
Thais generally have higher expectations and are used to a better quality of life than are Filipinas. The Catholic and Christian faith so prevalent in Philippines at least reminds people to be humble, forgiving, accepting, and not to sell their souls for materialism. On the other hand, Thais seem very material and image focused. Many longer term expats go so far to say they tend to be anti-intellectual and superficially focused. Apparent form is what matters to them, not substance. And Thais tend to strongly self-repress. So when they finally cannot hold back their anger, it can explode and shock you. So if you date a Thai girl, test her to make sure she is very easygoing by nature, is not obsessed with money and status, and genuinely likes you (your way of communicating, your values, sense of humor, and lifestyle).
Winston:
But what country has girls that are nonmaterialistic? All asian girls are materialistic right?
Btw check out this hot asian girl who is a minimalist. Shes obviously not materialistic. How do i get a girl like this? Doesnt she look like shed either be into white guys or independent and not need any guy at all? Lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTLd_MVD4cA
Why cant god just let me date someone like that that's more like me? Lol. In a fair and just world thats what I'd do. Lol
Yes it seems to be about mostly destiny. No one makes it happen. If u ask your parents their relationship came naturally, they didnt make it happen or do something special or use PUA etc.
Rock:
The conundrum is that less materialistic girls are easier to find in more developed, hence more difficult countries. In my personal experience, Taiwan seems to have a much higher percentage of non materialistic girls than say Thailand. People who grow up comfortable in an environment that has a high percentage of middle class people tend not to be as obsessed with money. Thailand has had a lot of poverty and the rich poor gap was extreme until Thaksin helped develop more middle class opportunities. Also, not all materialism is the same. Even though Filipinas seem materialistic to you, a material oriented one might be satisfied with a lot less money than her Thai equivalent. Gold diggers in Thailand are probably colder and more dangerous than the ones in Philippines on average. Why don't you start a thread on this topic on Happier Abroad forum?
Winston:
But why cant the universe let me get a girl like this? I have more in common with her than a thai or filipina right? Arent nonmaterialistic girls more open? They dont need us though and will most likely be platonic if i met her.
Doesnt make sense. I can only get girls i have less in common with but not girls i have more in common with? Thats a paradox. Why does God seem to f**k up so much? Lol
Rock:
Read and re-read Job. Some people get everything they want, a lot of others get mixed bag, and then plenty are very disappointed with the results of their life in some or all areas. In Taiwan, when I was younger and had a great job, I did just fine with a lot of Taiwan women who I was attracted to both physically and for their personality/values/style/etc. So our cases on that are different. After you get to middle age, you need to remember that your taste may still be the same as when you were younger so you may not find girls your own age attractive. That means that to achieve any success (with the more alluring younger women), you may need to offer yourself as a provider type instead of a lethario type. A different energy exudes from the young so you probably don't have nearly as much material to elicit some sort of attraction from the opposite sex as you did when you were in Russia or before. Why not accept that a woman ready to bond and settle down with a man will want to feel the man is stable, mature, and financially secure? If she wants pure carefree romance, she will look for a charming younger man or else perhaps an uber wealthy guy who can surprise her with exciting adventures such as helicopter rides on spur of moment, meeting high level VIPs in an industry she's into (perhaps fashion), spur of the moment expensive getaways to exotic places living it up first class, etc. The time in life to attract a girl mostly on personal attractiveness and charm is high school through starting phase of your career life up through late 20s or so. That window for older guys is closed. You have to compensate in other ways. And yes, destiny plays a roll too as we know. But luck tends to favor the persistent and those who adjust their expectations and skills to fit their reality (location, age, financial ability, social circle, and general status). It's so important to put yourself in the shoes of the opposite sex and imagine what it is you could do to attract some of them. You shouldn't expect a woman to blindly fall in love with you as a middle aged guy. You need to show her that you are a good catch and at the same time, gauge whether or not she might be willing to accept you as a partner. Only continue with girls who do have some sort of affinity for you as the others are time wasters. The older you get, the more difficult it is to adjust to new cultures. The cultures you are already have some instincts about dominate Philippines, China, Taiwan, and perhaps parts of Russia/E. Europe. It might be possible for you to find someone in Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, or even Vietnam. But the cultural challenges for you would be high, especially in Cambodia and Thailand. Have you given up on the Philippines?
Winston:
No i do like Philippines but i find thais more attractive and classy and yummy. lol
But rock why cant i get her?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTLd_MVD4cA
She and i would have a lot in common right? She seems like a freespirit too.
Rock:
You've posted this at least 3 times. I watched it once and yea it's ok. But so what. She's just some random girl who communicates well and enjoys simple pleasures of life. But cherry picking a few people on Youtube is not going to change the parameters discussed above and anyway, my interests are not like this girls so it was kinda boring for me and I had to stop it in middle.
Winston:
Yeah shes boring. But shes a freespirit and hippie at heart. Rare for Asian girl. Seems independent too.