The 30 to 50 year age gap in marriage makes sense

[The]

As for what others said earlier, I have seen it in the Phils. I have seen old dudes literally "bought back to life" by being with a younger girl, dancing on the dance floor, drinking and partying like they are in college again. Also, there is no end to the stories, written by older fellas, on various forums about being resurrected by a trip to Phils. It happens. It might be the 50 year old nagging wife that kills libido, not age.

I believe it. I used to think that my libido was decreasing due to age, but actually it's because women just keep getting less and less attractive. I get "resurrected" just by chatting online with my Filipina friend

Me too. I went to the mall the other day, and it was like a blowtorch was lit in my loins. All these perfect 15-20 year olds prancing around in their half sheer yoga pants. It's really messed up how 99% of men are effectively barred from experiencing that. Makes me want to contribute as little possible to this society.

Thats the way how i feel and I'm my 20's...(I'm in America though) But when riding on the bus on the way to work in the morning, since my car broke down, Ive noticed some of these 15-18 year old girls...all thin, tight yoga pants...wearing lace tops or ruffle tops with a black bra showing there small tits...Good lord! Its like any girl 25 or older is played out and worn out to me... I thought my libido was going down as I wasnt getting as horny as I used to but thats because all the girls here are unattractive...

Man I got to get the f**k outta this country fast....

[drealm]

I think it's worth noting that the more people whom elect this strategy the more competition is increased. Serial monogamy with young women means a much higher than average number of men compete for the same woman. See my post here: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=24842

[newlifeinphilippines]

well new study shows large age gaps have higher chance of divorce. But they also said other things like out of wedlock babies are more likely to stay together than childless couples.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bi ... 2014-11-11

[MarcosZeitola]

well new study shows large age gaps have higher chance of divorce. But they also said other things like out of wedlock babies are more likely to stay together than childless couples.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bi ... 2014-11-11

Statistically speaking, a marriage with a very large age gap will always be shorter, because one of the partners is so much older then the other that he will die long before her. As for childless couples, if they are childless by choice they may very well stay together, but if they are childless because of infertility and desire to have a family, the fertile partner may seek a divorce so he or she may still have a chance at parenthood some place else. Also some childless couples consist of one partner who does wish for a child, and another who doesn't. Another reason for a divorce.

Out-of-wedlock babies, on the other hand, may be all the more determined to make their marriage work. My grandfather was an orphan and grew up dirt poor, but this made him all the more motivated to be a good father, a good husband and a good provider for his own children.

[davewe]

well new study shows large age gaps have higher chance of divorce. But they also said other things like out of wedlock babies are more likely to stay together than childless couples.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bi ... 2014-11-11

The study was based on 3000 people, which by my math means 1500 couples. This is a statistical drop in the bucket; of those 1500 couples how many do you think had 30+ year age gaps? Divorce statistics have been studied in the US for decades based on huge databases. The approx. 50% rate has held steady (with minor fluctuations) for decades now.

Marriage and divorce is a general disaster in Western countries and comparing one group to another is just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. if, as the study suggests, having children gives you a better chance of staying together than not having kids, why are there millions of kids from divorced homes?

Bottom line is marriage and divorce in the West won't improve until cultural values improve - which probably means never!

[Jester]

Some good points made on this thread, let me just add a couple of thoughts:

(1) Two of my sons are in their twenties, two are in their thirties. Being around them now is fun, but not important to their development. The most important time to be around a son is probably age 5 to 12, or maybe through age 18 if you are involved in activities together. So living to old age is really no big thing.

(2) Seeing grandkids would be a blast, but in the dysfunctional modern world, your best chance of seeing grandkids is not to sit and wait, it is to keep making more children. Eventually one will create children of their own.

(3) Parenting requires listening and understanding, things I am (somewhat) better at these days. No way I will be a worse parent than I was, more likely a better one.

(4) Yes there is some marginally greater chance of health issues with a child of old age. But this is infinitesimal. What is actually a statistically significant issue, is that if quality men are deterred from breeding by a silly concern like age, then the children of the feckless, the stupid and the indolent will inherit the earth. The biological comparison is not yourself at age 59 versus yourself at age 19. The correct comparison is yourself at age 59 versus the schmoe who will impregnate that cutie if you don't. Why shouldn't she have a choice?

[newlifeinphilippines]

well new study shows large age gaps have higher chance of divorce. But they also said other things like out of wedlock babies are more likely to stay together than childless couples.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-bi ... 2014-11-11

Statistically speaking, a marriage with a very large age gap will always be shorter, because one of the partners is so much older then the other that he will die long before her. As for childless couples, if they are childless by choice they may very well stay together, but if they are childless because of infertility and desire to have a family, the fertile partner may seek a divorce so he or she may still have a chance at parenthood some place else. Also some childless couples consist of one partner who does wish for a child, and another who doesn't. Another reason for a divorce.

Out-of-wedlock babies, on the other hand, may be all the more determined to make their marriage work. My grandfather was an orphan and grew up dirt poor, but this made him all the more motivated to be a good father, a good husband and a good provider for his own children.

NOTE it said DIVORCE. Not one person outliving the other. LOL

Yeah the whole not having kids meaning the marriage wont last as long is just one more reason why im skeptical about marriage since i dont want kids and i think thats mainly the point of marriage. Henry on lifebeyondthesea who seems to be creating one drama after another lately mentioned how some filipina girlfriend he had when he first went there was trying to get pregnant in secret with another foreigner (he doesn't want kids and had a vasectomy).

[MarcosZeitola]

Yeah the whole not having kids meaning the marriage wont last as long is just one more reason why im skeptical about marriage since i dont want kids and i think thats mainly the point of marriage. Henry on lifebeyondthesea who seems to be creating one drama after another lately mentioned how some filipina girlfriend he had when he first went there was trying to get pregnant in secret with another foreigner (he doesn't want kids and had a vasectomy).

If you really don't want kids, you can always get a vasectomy too to prevent any "accidents". I am not sure how child support works in the Philippines... I don't think if you knock a Filipina up you aren't in a serious relationship with or married to, you are under any legal obligation to take care of the kid: the obligation is primarily moral. If you do have a vasectomy, you can freeze some sperm before hand just in case.

If you don't want to get married, no one's forcing you to. It will be a major downer for a lot of Filipina girls, because almost all of them want to marry eventually and have a family. The type of girl who does not wish for these things may be enjoying life a little too much... she may be a bargirl or a hoe. But even hoes can dream, right?

The possibility of you finding a wife who doesn't want children and is cool with a more casual relationship, is a lot higher in the West then it is in a more conservative country like the Philippines. Would you be able to make some concessions on your part on this issue? Would you, if you really liked the girl, be open to maybe one kid, as a compromise? Just some food for thought.

[MarcosZeitola]

(1) Two of my sons are in their twenties, two are in their thirties. Being around them now is fun, but not important to their development. The most important time to be around a son is probably age 5 to 12, or maybe through age 18 if you are involved in activities together. So living to old age is really no big thing.

I never knew you had four sons, man! How many children do you have? I always thought you were a lone wolf, lol. My impression of you was very wrong, then. That surprises me a bit. But, good for you! Family is a great blessing.

(2) Seeing grandkids would be a blast, but in the dysfunctional modern world, your best chance of seeing grandkids is not to sit and wait, it is to keep making more children. Eventually one will create children of their own.

Once you have a certain amount of children, a stable marriage and close knit family, I'd say grandchildren are pretty much a given. But of course the larger the amount of children, the larger the chance you'll live to see them. Do you have any grandchildren yet, seeing as though two of your sons are in their thirties? I wonder what it's like to see the third generation of your family being born during your life time. I started early, so chances are good I will live to see it.

(3) Parenting requires listening and understanding, things I am (somewhat) better at these days. No way I will be a worse parent than I was, more likely a better one.

Agree completely. If I were to have children past the age of retirement, I'd have a lot of time for them and much more stories to tell and experiences to share. Elderly fatherhood comes with some advantages, with the main drawback being that you may die when the kid(s) are teens or early twenties. Still, they will remain and live on as a living legacy of yourself, even when you yourself are long gone. To be pushing ninety and having a twenty-something lookalike son seems like a good thing to leave behind. You kind of live on through them, in a way.

(4) Yes there is some marginally greater chance of health issues with a child of old age. But this is infinitesimal. What is actually a statistically significant issue, is that if quality men are deterred from breeding by a silly concern like age, then the children of the feckless, the stupid and the indolent will inherit the earth. The biological comparison is not yourself at age 59 versus yourself at age 19. The correct comparison is yourself at age 59 versus the schmoe who will impregnate that cutie if you don't. Why shouldn't she have a choice?

If I was single and had the chance to impregnate a beautiful woman I would do it, whether I am 50, 60 or 97. If you marry a much younger woman at 80, your widow may still be around on what would be your 150th birthday. Like how one American president who was born in the 18th century, still has grandchildren alive today because both him and his younger sons had children very late in life. And all of them seem to be doing just fine.

[Jester]

How many children do you have?

Just four...

... so far!

[newlifeinphilippines]

Yeah the whole not having kids meaning the marriage wont last as long is just one more reason why im skeptical about marriage since i dont want kids and i think thats mainly the point of marriage. Henry on lifebeyondthesea who seems to be creating one drama after another lately mentioned how some filipina girlfriend he had when he first went there was trying to get pregnant in secret with another foreigner (he doesn't want kids and had a vasectomy).

If you really don't want kids, you can always get a vasectomy too to prevent any "accidents". I am not sure how child support works in the Philippines... I don't think if you knock a Filipina up you aren't in a serious relationship with or married to, you are under any legal obligation to take care of the kid: the obligation is primarily moral. If you do have a vasectomy, you can freeze some sperm before hand just in case.

If you don't want to get married, no one's forcing you to. It will be a major downer for a lot of Filipina girls, because almost all of them want to marry eventually and have a family. The type of girl who does not wish for these things may be enjoying life a little too much... she may be a bargirl or a hoe. But even hoes can dream, right?

The possibility of you finding a wife who doesn't want children and is cool with a more casual relationship, is a lot higher in the West then it is in a more conservative country like the Philippines. Would you be able to make some concessions on your part on this issue? Would you, if you really liked the girl, be open to maybe one kid, as a compromise? Just some food for thought.

vasectomy have a risk of side effects long term so no way

No i probably would not make an concessions at least not in the age bracket I am. Like I said previously if im like 55 and the girl is hot then i would sort of assume the women would either be a milf or want kids and id probably be relutanctly take on a woman with a kid. Id rather have a single mother when im old than a singless women cause i dont want to go through the baby making stage or find out something is wrong with the child or feel as obligated(my own blood). You see a lot of foreigners when older just chose a ready made family. Nothing wrong with that when your much older IF the girl is seriously hot and amazing in bed to lure you in, but not at my age no way.

[MarcosZeitola]

No i probably would not make an concessions at least not in the age bracket I am. Like I said previously if im like 55 and the girl is hot then i would sort of assume the women would either be a milf or want kids and id probably be relutanctly take on a woman with a kid. Id rather have a single mother when im old than a singless women cause i dont want to go through the baby making stage or find out something is wrong with the child or feel as obligated(my own blood). You see a lot of foreigners when older just chose a ready made family. Nothing wrong with that when your much older IF the girl is seriously hot and amazing in bed to lure you in, but not at my age no way.

The baby stage goes by surprisingly quickly, they grow up so fast, it'll amaze you! If she has older kids, they will take as much of her time if not more, especially when they go to school, have homework, make friends... they may get into trouble, wander around, you got to be involved with their lives. Whether you get yourself a "ready made family" or make one yourself, similar issues WILL arise no matter what. So why raise another man's children and not your own? It's the ultimate "beta" thing to do: you raise the biological offspring of another man, who for all you know may have ran off with yet another younger, more attractive woman and will continue to do so until he's old. You are genetically cuckolded and while his bloodline lives on, yours dies out.

Another issue would be if the biological father or ex was still "in the picture", which is not that unlikely when you marry a young mother. You'll always be guy number one. A woman with kids may also still want more. At least one mestiza grandkid to make her parents happy. Filipina's all want half-white kids, it seems! Say she already has one. Or two. And then she wants one more? Suddenly you are a "family man" after all, even though this wasn't your intention. While you could have just married a childless young woman and had one kid to make her happy. And see a little version of yourself grow up, on top of it. You'd be surprised by how good it feels.

[newlifeinphilippines]

No i probably would not make an concessions at least not in the age bracket I am. Like I said previously if im like 55 and the girl is hot then i would sort of assume the women would either be a milf or want kids and id probably be relutanctly take on a woman with a kid. Id rather have a single mother when im old than a singless women cause i dont want to go through the baby making stage or find out something is wrong with the child or feel as obligated(my own blood). You see a lot of foreigners when older just chose a ready made family. Nothing wrong with that when your much older IF the girl is seriously hot and amazing in bed to lure you in, but not at my age no way.

The baby stage goes by surprisingly quickly, they grow up so fast, it'll amaze you! If she has older kids, they will take as much of her time if not more, especially when they go to school, have homework, make friends... they may get into trouble, wander around, you got to be involved with their lives. Whether you get yourself a "ready made family" or make one yourself, similar issues WILL arise no matter what. So why raise another man's children and not your own? It's the ultimate "beta" thing to do: you raise the biological offspring of another man, who for all you know may have ran off with yet another younger, more attractive woman and will continue to do so until he's old. You are genetically cuckolded and while his bloodline lives on, yours dies out.

Another issue would be if the biological father or ex was still "in the picture", which is not that unlikely when you marry a young mother. You'll always be guy number one. A woman with kids may also still want more. At least one mestiza grandkid to make her parents happy. Filipina's all want half-white kids, it seems! Say she already has one. Or two. And then she wants one more? Suddenly you are a "family man" after all, even though this wasn't your intention. While you could have just married a childless young woman and had one kid to make her happy. And see a little version of yourself grow up, on top of it. You'd be surprised by how good it feels.

Then I should probaly stick with my no child clause. Why force myself into a situation I dont want to for a vagina? Either find a girl who will accept it or just keep things casual.

[Hero]

Question: Is it considered rude to ask a Filipina her age? I know that's a no-no here in America, but hopefully it's not true in the Philippines. I'm chatting online with a cute Filipina but I'd really like to know how old she is before I invest more time in her.

[Johnny1975]

Question: Is it considered rude to ask a Filipina her age? I know that's a no-no here in America, but hopefully it's not true in the Philippines. I'm chatting online with a cute Filipina but I'd really like to know how old she is before I invest more time in her.

I think it's fine. They don't have the same hangups as western women. don't worry about it, just ask. It's no big deal.