Why don't guys ever just come clean when pursued by women that are overweight?

[traveller]

I hear about it a lot. When some morbidly obese, 300 or 400 pound woman is "hitting on" a guy, getting affectionate with him, getting "overly friendly" with him and he's pulling away, he makes a bunch of excuses such as "I'm not ready yet" or "Maybe another time." And usually it leaves the woman questioning if she didn't put on enough deodorant or perfume, or she did something to make him uncomfortable.

Never have I heard about such a guy simply coming clean and just saying; "I'm not attracted to women that are overweight" or "I'm not attracted to women that are morbidly obese." In other words, coming clean in the fact that it's not the way she approaches him, hangs all over him, it's not that she's getting overly friendly with him, and it's not her hygiene. It's her tremendous girth that is turning him off, making him uncomfortable, and pushing him away. I should know, I personally am not attracted to women that are obese, either. And especially living in a tropical climate where there is no excuse for sedentary/inactive lifestyles combined with unhealthy eating habits, the kind of lifestyles that in fact belong in places like Wisconsin, Minnesota, Alaska, Montana, Vermont, Maine, and Michigan. The kinds of lifestyles that belong even in Eskimo territory.

[MrMan]

I hear about it a lot. When some morbidly obese, 300 or 400 pound woman is "hitting on" a guy, getting affectionate with him, getting "overly friendly" with him and he's pulling away, he makes a bunch of excuses such as "I'm not ready yet" or "Maybe another time." And usually it leaves the woman questioning if she didn't put on enough deodorant or perfume, or she did something to make him uncomfortable.

Never have I heard about such a guy simply coming clean and just saying; "I'm not attracted to women that are overweight" or "I'm not attracted to women that are morbidly obese." In other words, coming clean in the fact that it's not the way she approaches him, hangs all over him, it's not that she's getting overly friendly with him, and it's not her hygiene. It's her tremendous girth that is turning him off, making him uncomfortable, and pushing him away. I should know, I personally am not attracted to women that are obese, either. And especially living in a tropical climate where there is no excuse for sedentary/inactive lifestyles combined with unhealthy eating habits, the kind of lifestyles that in fact belong in places like Wisconsin, Minnesota, Alaska, Montana, Vermont, Maine, and Michigan. The kinds of lifestyles that belong even in Eskimo territory.

How common is it for a morbidly obese women to hang all over a guy? She has to catch him first, and that's a bit of a problem. A man can just walk away at a normal rate of speed and there isn't much she can do, unless she masters stop, drop, and roll, and then he is in trouble.

I don't know if she was morbidly obese, but when I was in high school, there was this girl who did floor exercises in front of me (alphabetical order) who was undisputably a fat girl. I don't know if it was in the morbidly obese category. One of her friends asked me if I would 'go with' her and I said no. Later, she talked to her friend and came back and asked me if it was because she was fat. I think I just dodged the question and just said I didn't want to. Maybe i should have said 'yes.' I don't think I'd have gone for her if she'd lost 150 pounds, though. I was rather particular. The hefty girl asked me in class something like this,

"Do you think if someone has feelings for someone else, they should tell them their feelings?"

I think I said, "No, never. That's a terrible idea." I didn't want to hear about her feelings for me.

There was also a sales rep at a store in Indonesia, short hair, apple-shaped body, who would come up to me and flirt hard when she saw me. It was annoying, but she wasn't psycho. My former stalker, who woke me up yelling in my crowded subdivision neighborhood saying that she loved me, after probably going 40 or 50 miles by bus, wasn't as trim as my preference goes (and didn't have the looks or mental stability I was looking for), but she I wouldn't say she was obese.

There were thin, normal, pretty, etc. girls who liked me, too. So I didn't only attract the hefty ones.

[Mercury]

I hear about it a lot. When some morbidly obese, 300 or 400 pound woman is "hitting on" a guy, getting affectionate with him, getting "overly friendly" with him and he's pulling away, he makes a bunch of excuses such as "I'm not ready yet" or "Maybe another time." And usually it leaves the woman questioning if she didn't put on enough deodorant or perfume, or she did something to make him uncomfortable.

Never have I heard about such a guy simply coming clean and just saying; "I'm not attracted to women that are overweight" or "I'm not attracted to women that are morbidly obese." In other words, coming clean in the fact that it's not the way she approaches him, hangs all over him, it's not that she's getting overly friendly with him, and it's not her hygiene. It's her tremendous girth that is turning him off, making him uncomfortable, and pushing him away. I should know, I personally am not attracted to women that are obese, either. And especially living in a tropical climate where there is no excuse for sedentary/inactive lifestyles combined with unhealthy eating habits, the kind of lifestyles that in fact belong in places like Wisconsin, Minnesota, Alaska, Montana, Vermont, Maine, and Michigan. The kinds of lifestyles that belong even in Eskimo territory.

What if I told you that doing exactly that; telling a morbidly obese woman that's getting overly friendly with you that you're not attracted to women that are overweight is considered the cruelest thing you can ever possibly do in the United States. You can actually get defamed and publicly alienated for telling an obese woman that's getting overly friendly with you that you're not attracted to her and that her tremendous girth, her huge double chin/shield neck, cottage cheese thighs, and overhanging stomach turns you off. You can even be accused of bullying! In the USA, refusal to have a relationship with, or marry, a morbidly obese woman is also in fact considered a form of fat-shaming.

You also need to be aware that American food is laced with toxic chemicals that destroy the body's glandular system and cause out of control runaway obesity. In America, nothing that you buy at the store is healthy anymore; even fruits and vegetables that are otherwise healthy for you have been laced and contaminated with health-destroying toxic chemicals by the American food corporations and are no longer good for consumption from when they left the packaging facility.

Additionally, again, Americans are paranoid of the outdoors. America is becoming a violent and dangerous country as gangs continue to form and multiply and spread into rural country areas and ever accelerating and growing numbers of American millennials and post-millennials join gangs. Rap is the new mainstream music nationwide at all nightclubs. America is predicted to become one of the Top 5 Most Dangerous countries in the world by 2030, likely as dangerous as Venezuela, even Afghanistan or Iraq. Americans are also terrified of wild animals such as alligators, snakes, wolves, and bears, all of which to them prey on humans. To Americans in the deep south especially, alligators can run as fast as 6,000 mph, and they will pursue you all the way around the Earth's circumference, both latitude and longitude.

[MrMan]

There was a very hefty girl in high school that had a friend ask me to go with her. I said I didn't want to. Then she sent her back with a question, "Why is it because she's fat?" I dodged the question. Later the hefty girl asked me, "If someone has feelings for someone else, should she tell him?" Or something like that. I said, "No, that's a terrible idea. Never tell him how you feel."

I didn't like her... that way at least. I guess she was probably an okay person. I didn't want to talk about why I didn't like her. I'm not required to share all my feelings about such things.

There was a girl who was kind of apple shaped, plain face, short hair, who kept being excessively friendly in a certain department store I shopped at from time to time in Indonesia. I'd come up with some reason to get away. "I need to go home now" I said in Indonesian. She responded in Indonesian, "Can I come with you?"

I just deflected this sort of stuff. Why tell them they are too fat? If they are fat, they probably know it, and maybe some guy who likes fat girls will respond to their attempts without me having to announce I don't care for the looks of fat girls?

[WilliamSmith]

Why tell them they are too fat? If they are fat, they probably know it, and maybe some guy who likes fat girls will respond to their attempts without me having to announce I don't care for the looks of fat girls?

Yeah, I think so too. There's never any advantage in hurting girls' feelings on purpose, particularly if they were actually being warm with you. Why be cruel? Presumptuously imagining that hurting a nice girl's feelings is somehow serving some sort of social cause just because you think there is an ongoing obesity problem (even if there is) is more than a bit silly IMO.

Also, the analogous case: Tons of women are on tilt complaining and worrying about not being approach by men anymore in the age of woke, but some women don't like being cold approached by a man at all. So the obvious analogous case would be if a well-intentioned guy tries a non-sleazy friendly approach, but the chick responds by ripping on him with remarks about what she finds unattractive about his appearance. I bet we'd be hearing plenty of howling from MGTOW about how horrible that was if that happened, so why should a man treat a woman that rudely either, even if he thinks theoretically no woman should be above a given body fat percentage of his choice?

The subject of having an arsenal of good routines on hand to politely turn down aggressive come-ons from women without hurting their feelings (and preferably even leaving them feeling good) is an interesting one though. Maybe a good topic for another thread some other time.
In my experience (not as vast as a dedicated "PUA," but not negligible either), the ones who are really flirty still usually seem to leave it to me to actually move in and "close the deal" even if they made their interest very obvious, so I didn't have any really embarrassing problems having to hurt their feelings when I felt I wasn't quite the perfect match for what they had to offer.

[gsjackson]

Agree with WS. Gather round children and let me tell you about a concept from the ancient days called "the gentleman." I was raised by one, but he was born in 1913, and they've long since vanished. I think William Buckley came up with the best definition -- a gentleman is someone who is always considerate of the feelings of other people and tries never to hurt them (even when you think it's for their own good).

Obviously we now live in a feral, dog-eat-dog (((world))), where the concept seems not just outdated, but reflects complete naivete, and anyone who tries to be a gentleman is a sap who is cruising for a bruising. But just because the whole world has turned to shit, doesn't mean we have to -- if anything, we should always move in the opposite direction from what the culture instructs. And I would make a sharp distinction between the gentleman acting on principles he believes in, and the fabled "nice guy" doormat trying to con his way into some p***y. Believe me, a world in which gentlemen can thrive is one we all want to live in, and who knows, it might even get you laid.

[Mercury]

And especially living in a tropical climate where there is no excuse for sedentary/inactive lifestyles combined with unhealthy eating habits, the kind of lifestyles that in fact belong in places like Wisconsin, Minnesota, Alaska, Montana, Vermont, Maine, and Michigan. The kinds of lifestyles that belong even in Eskimo territory.

You need to be aware that Americans not only are paranoid of the entire outdoors and are in fact mentally allergic to the outdoors, but Americans also expect you to eat the culture foods! In this country, you are expected to eat the sausage, bratwursts, bacon, rice mixed with lard, and the foods loaded with sugar and fat. In America, fruits and vegetables such as broccoli, bananas, coconuts, apples, peaches, mangos, etc, are considered an abomination to the culture, and eating such foods will in fact get you labeled a mentally ill anorexic. Before long, just having an apple tree in your backyard will result in you getting arrested by the FBI, Homeland Security even, sentenced possibly to life in prison, and your property getting confiscated, auctioned off, and the tree cut down. Before long, all American citizens will be heavily monitored 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and the USA will in fact become less free than North Korea! And before long, even bicycles will get banned under Federal law, and it will become illegal to have possession of any type of non-motorized vehicle or conveyance in the USA. Before long, you won't be allowed to leave your residence except for business. Before long, the FBI will arrest you for taking an evening jog through the neighborhood. The USA will soon be under military enforced 24 hour curfew, all 365 days a year, where nobody is to be outside except for business reasons.