American Mail Order Bride in the Old West

[MrMan]

The idea of a 'mail order bride' was something out of Americas past. Here is a story about a mail order bride in the Old West.

Zeke and Mae had been writing each other for a year. Zeke had a cousin whose friend's older sister was single. This cousin set them both up with addresses. Mae was in her 30's, and single. There were a lot of younger single men, but her generation was at the tail end of the Civil War, and there had not been enough men to go around. Even though she was a reasonably good-looking woman, she was a spinster, but she wanted to marry. Zeke had survived the war, but had settled out west to take advantage of farmland the government was giving away.

They had corresponded for a year. Zeke had asked her to marry him. Her mother and sister had bid her good-bye. Zeke was waiting for her stage coach. She got off the stage coach. Zeke awkwardly introduced himself, tipping his hat to her. He told her the preacher and the town were ready to celebrate their wedding.

From the stage coach, she marched immediately to the church house. The wedding was simple. There was no meal afterwards. The townsfolk were friendly for a while, but had to return about their business. Zeke picked Mae up and put her in his wagon, attached to a mule, to take her to the farm. She was excited to see the new farm, but Zeke was not very talkative.

The mule pulled the wagon, as Mae sat nervously beside Zeke in the front. Suddenly, the mule stopped. Zeke got out of the wage, went over by the mules left ear, and said in a loud, stern angry voice with a scowl. "That's one!"

He got back in the wagon, whipped the reigns and the mule took off. A few minutes later, it stopped dead in it's tracks. Zeke got down out of the wagon, and this time yelled in it's left ear, "That's two!"

With Zeke back in the wagon, the mule took off again. They rode the wagon through the prairie. The scenery all looked the same to Mae. Nothing changed. The mule stopped again.

Zeke reached into the back of the wagon and pulled out a shotgun. He went over to the left ear of the mule and yelled, 'That's three!" He lifted the shot gun and pointed it at the mule's head and pulled the trigger, splattering a v-shaped strip of horse brains and blood in the prairie grass. As the still-standing mule body spewed blood forward, Zeke got back in the wagon.

Mae was shocked. She said to Zeke loudly, "What did you do that for? How are we going to get our wagon and all my things to the farmhouse."

Zeke said loudly in her ear, "That's one!"