What affects competition in the dating scene?

[mattyman]

On a purely shallow, physical level, what do women find attractive/hot in men? tall, handsome confident, not overweight. What do men find attractive/hot in women? Slim, feminine and long-haired.

By those shallow popular metrics, I would argue that there are fewer ugly men (in terms of being short, fat, and unconfident) than there are women who unattractive to men (fat, masculine, loud, nasty attitude). Isn't that readily-observable? Think about it, how many men do you see in public that fit the bill of what the average woman would consider hot compared to the amount women that the average man would consider hot.

Of course there's far more to people than looks. But when it comes to the way that girls who are average (non-overweight) are treated like goddesses, that does raise concerns. Yes, you could blame men for treating girls they see as 'hot' differently? The trouble is, men are treating what I see as healthy, normal average-weight women like impossible super-models. Isn't that disturbing?

EDIT
I will say that men are partly guilty. Groveling to fatties as if they were models, just because they possess a vagina is one of the things that's fueling the acceptability of fatness. Men are too scared to say that they don't find fat unattractive for fear that they'll be seen as insensitive, shallow and judgemental by their female friends and by the wider social circle. I do not believe that this is insurmountable. It's OK to express openly what you find attractive or ugly. Too many men disturbingly are afraid to say so.

EDIT 2
Regarding political correctness;
I have no problem with female friends expressing what they find attractive in a bloke, even if what they describe doesn't describe me. Why should female friends have a problem with me describing what I find attractive? The fear of how one will be seen by female friends, that's the important thing that needs to be learned to deal with. That's the barrier.

It does make me want to rant and rave about transport policy, school meals, cycling provision and lots of other things.

[wingfeather]

I agree, it is disturbing to see men groveling for sub-par women. I have no explanation for this behavior, other than our society has become so toxic that men are lowering their standards for "any woman". I'd guess that is why most of us found this website, right? To not settle?

[jamesbond]

I agree, it is disturbing to see men groveling for sub-par women. I have no explanation for this behavior, other than our society has become so toxic that men are lowering their standards for "any woman". I'd guess that is why most of us found this website, right? To not settle?

I agree, men in America have lowered their standards so much, that they will take anything that comes along! I have seen good looking guys with women who are as ugly as sin and I have also seen guys in good physical shape with women who are morbidly obese!

[wingfeather]

I am guilty of attempting this trend ONCE, because I wasn't having any luck with the women I wanted to date here in the USA. "Don't judge women by their external appearance" everyone kept telling me...

She was extremely overweight, no real career, nothing special. At first she was kind of okay to be around, but after the first month her true colors began to show (just like every other AW woman). Entitled, emotional rollercoaster... I regret ever "going there"