Why do divorced women always say their exes were "always drunk, abusive, hit them, gambled all their money away" etc?

[Winston]

I have a question. Why do most divorced women say the following about their ex husbands and ex boyfriends:

1. He was always drunk and drinking.
2. He was addicted to gambling and gambled away all our money.
3. He hit me and slapped me and was abusive.
4. He was lazy and refused to work.

Now the thing is, Ive never known any guys who fit all the above. So how can such guys be so common, according to their exes? How can every divorced womans ex be like that when ive seldom seen types of men? Movies and television also often show women saying the above about their exes as well. How can so many men be "drunk abusive bastards" who hit their partners? Its almost like a cliche and formulaic. So it makes me skeptical when i hear it. Even divorced chinese women in china have told me that about their exes.

Is it all a myth propagated by the media? How much truth is there in it? Do women who say that usually make it all up? If so why? Why not tell the truth like i do? Dont women feel guilty about lying? I certainly would.

Also, how come main characters in TV shows and movies always say that their dad was always drunk and beat their mom? Ive never met any fathers that do that, so why do they make that so common on TV? Do they hope that TV will make more men like that in real life? Because the elite want to break down traditional families?

Moreover, hardly any characters on TV have two stable parents that are together. They almost always come from single parent families. Why is that? Most people i know have two parents who are together. So why does TV always show otherwise? Is it because the elite want to promote divorce and single parent families?

[Ghost]

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[jamesbond]

Studies show that women lie more than men do. They lie about how many men they have slept with, they also are notorious about lying about their age.

[GoingAwol]

Winston,
There might be some women that lie about that, but the vast majority of them are telling the truth. The simple fact is most American women (particularly younger ones) like bad boys. I have seen it time and time again. I used to feel sorry for these women, but now I realize they choose these guys. If they dump or get dumped by one of these guys they will be dating a new bad boy within the month. Wash,rinse,repeat....

[Adama]

It may sound terrible to virgin ears, but think about this. What kind of woman sticks around for a man that beats her? They are not under any kind of brainwashing. The truth is, they sought out the kind of man who would beat them. How do we know this? Because the vast majority of men out there are not beating women. Which means that those women probably went out of their way to test each man to see if he would be willing to beat her, and if he was not willing, she would dump him for a "real man." Am I saying that men should beat women? No. I am saying that there are sick, twisted women out there who want to get beaten by men. Otherwise they would take their vajinas elsewhere and give it to a man who wouldnt beat them. Wouldnt they? There's nothing that can happen long term without a woman's consent. Would you believe a woman who went freely back and forth to work everyday who says her husband forcibly rapes her every night? Why not? Because she would leave. And there are such things as police, women's shelters, family, etc., all built upon rescuing women from themselves.

So in reality, those women are not victims. They merely got what they wanted. The relationship ended because they decided it was over.

[Adama]

A few years back I started working for a large corporation and I had to endure a two week classroom orientation, which consisted of people, mainly women, working in many different departments. One young woman who just had a baby would go on and on about how much her live in boyfriend would beat her. She wasn't even crying or saying it like she would emotionally distraught. If anything, it seemed more like she was bragging about it. No one, including the women there, felt any kind of sympathy for her. That shows you how unemotional she was.

Another one I worked with on that same job was one of those women who always had something negative to say, she was always right, and she always had to have the last word. Her husband did beat her. Why? Because she's a witch who always had to have the last word, she didnt know when to shut her mouth, and she was always spewing venom that would get practically anyone beat. She is white garbage. She is mother to six children, but only has custody of the three most recent born children, and pays child support for the other children. Now you know what kind of women get beat. The only women who get beat are the women who want to get beaten. Otherwise they would either choose better men who wouldnt beat them, they would shut their mouths and speak respectfully to everyone around them so that they would not get beaten, or they would even report their husbands to the police. This woman never reported her husband to the police. And when questioned about bruises on her face, she would say that she fell. Why defend such men when they have freedom at the workplace? Because that is the kind of man she wants. It isnt because she is under a magical spell. It is because that is the kind of man she wants, and I would bet if she met a man who was unwilling to beat her after she has sufficiently physically provoked him (a la Rhianna and Chris Brown), she would dump him for a "real man" who would.

[Adama]

I have a question. Why do most divorced women say the following about their ex husbands and ex boyfriends:

1. He was always drunk and drinking.
2. He was addicted to gambling and gambled away all our money.
3. He hit me and slapped me and was abusive.
4. He was lazy and refused to work.

Now the thing is, Ive never known any guys who fit all the above. So how can such guys be so common, according to their exes? How can every divorced womans ex be like that when ive seldom seen types of men? Movies and television also often show women saying the above about their exes as well. How can so many men be "drunk abusive bastards" who hit their partners? Its almost like a cliche and formulaic. So it makes me skeptical when i hear it. Even divorced chinese women in china have told me that about their exes.

Is it all a myth propagated by the media? How much truth is there in it? Do women who say that usually make it all up? If so why? Why not tell the truth like i do? Dont women feel guilty about lying? I certainly would.

Also, how come main characters in TV shows and movies always say that their dad was always drunk and beat their mom? Ive never met any fathers that do that, so why do they make that so common on TV? Do they hope that TV will make more men like that in real life? Because the elite want to break down traditional families?

Moreover, hardly any characters on TV have two stable parents that are together. They almost always come from single parent families. Why is that? Most people i know have two parents who are together. So why does TV always show otherwise? Is it because the elite want to promote divorce and single parent families?

No, they are probably liars and exaggerators, but if it is true, it doesn't look right for a woman to stay with a man who was physically abusive. Get this one. A woman I happen to know became a single mother at a young age and said that she was raped by the father of that child many years ago. But when you listen to her carefully, you learn that she continued to have a relationship with that man, and they had relations many times after the first time where he pressured her into sex. It became rape in her mind when he ended the relationship. What he did was definitely wrong, but it was not rape.

Women throw around these abuse terms. Women also throw around the term "stalking" like it is nothing.

[traveller]

Winston,
There might be some women that lie about that, but the vast majority of them are telling the truth. The simple fact is most American women (particularly younger ones) like bad boys. I have seen it time and time again. I used to feel sorry for these women, but now I realize they choose these guys. If they dump or get dumped by one of these guys they will be dating a new bad boy within the month. Wash,rinse,repeat....

You can certainly say that about Northern Illinois women! I can especially see it as really crushing and alienating to an ex-boyfriend/husband when his ex girlfriend or wife is even dating a violent felon with an AK-47, a stolen luxury sports car, a monstrously fat bagful of stolen cash, stolen credit cards, and stolen gift cards, plus even a rap sheet including armed car jacking, armed robbery, firearm attack on a police officer, attack on a news broadcaster, even firearm attack on a CTA vehicle resulting in injuries, property damage, and even fatalities, and even who might have the entire FBI on his tail because he gunned down, murdered, and robbed an on duty police officer to flee a traffic stop.

A lot of especially white guys who were dumped would likely even cringe at the thought of his ex girlfriend or wife going out with someone of Black/African descent, as apparently guys that are of black/African descent are commonly stereotyped as violent felons, serial killers, gang bangers, drug users, and all else.

[Winston]

These are common lies women spout because they know people (and courts) will believe their lies. The females get sympathy, people turn against the man, and the courts award her cash and prizes. How do you know when a woman is lying? Her lips are moving. Doubly so when she's going through a divorce. This is one of the big ways that American culture is corrupt: women are believed no questions asked, and men aren't believed even when they have evidence.

But they dont just tell that to courts. They say that in casual conversation as well. Even when they have nothing to gain. And they say that about their ex boyfriends too.

Whats usually the real reason why women get divorced in most cases? They also never seem to acknowledge any responsibility or blame.

Also whats the connection between being abusive and being drunk and gambling too much? Why do women connect all three of these together? Its like a cliche. But i dont see why one trait leads to the other two. They also often claim that their ex was lazy and wouldnt work too. Lol.

Sounds like the lowest scum that you could invent in Hollywood fiction. Lol. Yet ive never met any guy like that. Go figure.

[MrMan]

It may sound terrible to virgin ears, but think about this. What kind of woman sticks around for a man that beats her? They are not under any kind of brainwashing. The truth is, they sought out the kind of man who would beat them. How do we know this? Because the vast majority of men out there are not beating women. Which means that those women probably went out of their way to test each man to see if he would be willing to beat her, and if he was not willing, she would dump him for a "real man." Am I saying that men should beat women? No. I am saying that there are sick, twisted women out there who want to get beaten by men. Otherwise they would take their vajinas elsewhere and give it to a man who wouldnt beat them. Wouldnt they? There's nothing that can happen long term without a woman's consent. Would you believe a woman who went freely back and forth to work everyday who says her husband forcibly rapes her every night? Why not? Because she would leave. And there are such things as police, women's shelters, family, etc., all built upon rescuing women from themselves.

So in reality, those women are not victims. They merely got what they wanted. The relationship ended because they decided it was over.

It's not that simple. The kind of woman attracted to a man who beats her may not realize that the type of personality she associates with being a 'real man' is going to beat her up, too. Also, some women consider it wrong to divorce their husbands, want to 'stand by her man', or doesn't want the shame or failure of divorce. A woman may not want to be forcibly raped every night, but she doesn't want a divorce either, and she doesn't want to get her husband in trouble with the law. Btw, a woman should say 'yes' to her husband so rape shouldn't be a real issue if she married a guy like this, certainly not every single night. But I suppose there are some guys who would be brutal with a woman who says yes, a real minority. If an abusive man isn't going to be rough if she says yes, she may just say yes so he's not rough. So technically that's not rape, just a messed up relationship.

I saw an episode of 'Married at First Sight' last night. They matched this one girl, a 5 I'd say for looks, with a kind of thin part Indian guy. She'd insulted his masculinity in previous episodes. In last night's episode, she told a sociologist (what is a sociologist doing counseling for?) that she wanted a man who would 'put her in her place.' I thought that sure sounds messed up. There are women who will say inappropriate things, hoping the guy will put her in her place. That's kind of stupid. But there is a little bit of this sort of thing in a lot of women. It's better if you marry a woman who submits without you having to 'put her in her place.' Even if she wants to, you need to set some boundaries in regard to what's appropriate for her to say and do and insist on a level of respect according to your standards if she crosses the line.

Anyway, I was wondering what the guy could say as an appropriate response. He could say, "I want a woman who acts like a woman and doesn't have to be put in her place." Or he could have said, "Do you want me to put you over my knee, young lady?" I wonder if that is what these kind of women want.

[MrMan]

I think a lot of women who want to end a relationship rewrite the history of their relationship in their minds and comes out when they tell the story. In some women's minds, if a guy hit a woman once, he's an abusive husband. If he got drunk a few times, he was a drunk. 'Abusive' is a stretchy word. There is 'verbal abuse.' So if he snapped at her or insulted her, he could be called 'abusive.' Some people are more prone to exaggeration than others.

Even in a good marriage, a woman can occasionally re-write the history of the relationship. My wife used to be hard to deal with during PMS, or every so many months when she'd have a big problem with it. I'd hear her lament about how every time she had PMS, we'd argue and how bad it was. It wasn't that big of a deal, except for her being so dramatic about it. Eventually, she learned to stop blaming me for her emotions and take responsibility for handling her own feelings and I stopped hearing this kind of stuff. She's just a little irritable during PMS these days and it's not as big of a deal.

I've learned that some divorce women sometimes really inflate their problems. I'm sure there are some out there who were married to really violent, obnoxious men. But there are plenty with normal marital problems and issues who seek to justify themselves, make themselves look like the victim.

I don't know why any single man would marry a divorced woman when there are so many out there that haven't been divorced. If you are divorced, and you chose to get one, your commitment to marriage has to be at least somewhat suspect. Even if it was divorce for adultery or violence, you are saying you want stick with a marriage through adultery or violence. I don't want to commit adultery or violence against my wife, but it would be comforting to know that my wife would stick with me through such things if they did occur. Then I can just be nice to her. If she won't divorce you over those things, she won't divorce you over squeezing the toothpaste from the middle instead of the end.

[Winston]

Here's an example of what I mean:

https://www.dateinasia.com/sherwinli

About me
Write about yourself here: my name is Sherwin , 29 years old. now i am living in guangzhou，China. And working in an image design company. From 2008 to 2011 i used to study and work in Paris. 2012 i returned to china and married with my ex-husband. But a year after marriage he often lost his temper and began to hit me or break something. in the beginning i tried to forgive him .but he still have no changed in the end.so last year i took my daughter and left him
If I need not to work I like to go to the seaside for a holiday. Or stay at home watch movie with my family. Life i was a more relaxed and colleague get along well together.

See what I mean? How can every ex husband be abusive and hit her? lol. It's such a cliche. Is it really true or exaggerated? Also, if he really did hit her, couldn't it be because she did something really wrong, or hit him first? She might have done something to deserve it too. There are two sides to every story after all. Why don't women tell both sides?

[wanderlust]

Funny to read this post. I just read a woman's personal that said the same thing - he was a liar, a cheat, the town drunk, whatever else.

I don't know any men who have so many options they can afford to treat their girlfriend or wife badly.

The damsel in distress approach must be more appealing than giving a full and accurate account of the events. It's seen its heyday though, and men are getting wise to it.

[chanta76]

Here's an example of what I mean:

https://www.dateinasia.com/sherwinli

About me
Write about yourself here: my name is Sherwin , 29 years old. now i am living in guangzhou，China. And working in an image design company. From 2008 to 2011 i used to study and work in Paris. 2012 i returned to china and married with my ex-husband. But a year after marriage he often lost his temper and began to hit me or break something. in the beginning i tried to forgive him .but he still have no changed in the end.so last year i took my daughter and left him
If I need not to work I like to go to the seaside for a holiday. Or stay at home watch movie with my family. Life i was a more relaxed and colleague get along well together.

See what I mean? How can every ex husband be abusive and hit her? lol. It's such a cliche. Is it really true or exaggerated? Also, if he really did hit her, couldn't it be because she did something really wrong, or hit him first? She might have done something to deserve it too. There are two sides to every story after all. Why don't women tell both sides?

There are two sides to a coin. Sure there are bad men out there but also maybe sometimes these women drive their men to craziness.

I can use myself for example. I'm still married but there has been times my wife drove me nuts and I was border line mad..REAL mad. I don't take shit from her and yes I would almost turn physical . She might think I hit her but I never gone that far.

So yes there are two sides. Once marriage is over a woman will say whatever bad things to justify why the marriage end. As if it's always the men fault. I can tell you it's not. Women do PLAY a ROLE in this.

Sometimes I ask myself why I got married.

[Mercury]

I have a question. Why do most divorced women say the following about their ex husbands and ex boyfriends:

1. He was always drunk and drinking.
2. He was addicted to gambling and gambled away all our money.
3. He hit me and slapped me and was abusive.
4. He was lazy and refused to work.

Because American women love to make guys look evil and nasty. Because they are proud of their hatred towards guys. But here are the REAL things American women say, in their hearts, about their ex husbands and ex boyfriends:

1. He lost his job. He couldn't be tough enough to argue with his boss to let him stay. He was too chicken to even use extortion to make his boss keep him. Or, even though there was nothing he could do, he didn't get hired again the very next day at another job.

2. I saw this nice, huge luxury McMansion of 30 acres of land for sale. It had a huge, spacious glass atrium right next to a heated Olympic sized indoor swimming pool with a waterfall. It had 3 great hot tubs. It had a spacious home movie theater. It had a security gate and also sat in a nice, high security gated community. It's sale price was only 80 million dollars. And he could not afford it.

3. He could not afford that $5,000,000.00 fancy luxury sports car that I so badly wanted with the iridescent paint with gold trim, souped up V-20 engine, and everything. I wanted to go airborne like on a roller coaster when going over bridges.

4. He was not rich enough. I met another man who has a 500 million dollar luxury grand palace, a whole collection of luxury sports vehicles, a massive luxury yacht with King size beds and everything, he is literally a billionaire, making 10 figures a year.

5. He was too nice. He was welcoming to other guys who wanted to be casual friends with us, and I hated it. When I am with a man, I want all other guys to run away from us and stay at least 300 feet or more away from us. And I want all other guys to be absolutely terrified of approaching within less than even 3 miles of me and my man.