"I'm Brit & I Just Don't Understand AW" #Britwomanrant

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

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I’m British And I Just Don’t Understand American Women
Suzanne Jannese ---> [[54 Comments]]

Let me first explain that I’m British, born and raised. I grew up in Northern Ireland and moved to study in London when I was 18. Let me also tell you I have a secret guilty pleasure: every week I watch a vapid reality show called Ladies of London. It stars a C-list mix of posh British babes who are friends with posh American women. The ‘Queen Bee’ of the show is Caroline Stanbury, businesswoman and ex-girlfriend of Prince Andrew, who hobnobs with the Royals and has an entire staff running her palatial home. She and heiress Annabelle Neilson hang out with American models Caprice Bourret and Noelle Reno at polo matches, stately manors, and glitzy bars in between having catfights. (No, I hadn’t heard of any of them either until I watched the show.)


The beauty of this series is that it highlights the differences between the reserved, stiff upper-lipped Brits and these loud, feisty Americans. Caroline even arranged etiquette lessons for two of the American women to show them how to correctly eat soup and how to behave at fancy dinner parties. And yet it also struck me that us Brits simply don’t “get” a lot of our American sisters’ ways; we’re different breeds. Here are just a few oddities I’ll never understand about you lovely gals from the USA:

*P.S. I’m not dissing American women; I love John Hughes movies more than anyone and have always dreamed of living stateside just so I could attend prom!

1. What is with your fascination with fingernails?

Really, who has the time to be concerned about their nails? I bite mine anyway, but it has always bemused me JUST how much American women covet their perfectly-polished talons! You seem to spend an unholy amount of time being groomed: blow-dry salons (something the UK hasn’t gotten into … yet) and making time in your day to get your nails done and hair coiffed. Why? You’re just gonna sleep on it and wake up with a birds’ nest the next morning. Us Brits throw on torn jeans, take a 2-minute shower, drag a brush through our hair and do our makeup on the tube. (Tube = subway.) Life for us is way too short for glamorous grooming!

2. Why do you date more than one guy?

I have never understood this. The way I see it: You start dating someone, he’s nice to you, you date him and then you marry him. Or he isn’t nice to you, so you don’t see him again. End of story (though I did ALMOST have an affair once…). Yet you American ladies date lots of men—and all at once! (No wonder you groom your lady gardens so much!) How do you remember who is who? And isn’t it cheating if you’re seeing multiple guys? Us Brits can only cope with one man at once, so for your ability to juggle many, I salute you.


3. Why do you argue loudly and in public?

Brits never do this. We would rather pretend everything is fine (while steam pours from our ears) than have some sort of public spat. How embarrassing! Sure, we bicker and we’re good for a quick put-down, but we don’t have screaming matches in the street, complete with yelling and crying. I admire the being-in-touch-with-your-emotions thing, but please have some decorum!

4. What are grits and why do you eat them?

Or for that matter, hot dogs that look like giant penises? I would rather eat my head. Likewise, I don’t get pumpkin pie (pumpkin is savory here in the UK) or giant chicken legs (in fact, why is everything in the States so GIANT? Eat normal portions!) creamed corn, beef jerky, Jell-O and meatloaf. But I am in love with your hamburgers, your bourbon, your pulled pork and your iced tea. Thank you for that.

5. What’s with the toddler beauty pageants?

Never have I understood the concept of a beauty pageant or judging women on their looks or how well they rock a swimsuit. More so, I can’t get my head around the kid beauty pageants where the children wear more make-up than hookers and end up looking like creepy dolls. Please explain.

6. Why are you so sincere and nice?

Everyone is so NICE in America. On American reality TV shows, they’re always sharing their ‘truth’ and being honest and ‘true’ to themselves. It’s like a walking therapy convention. What about sarcasm and bitterness and quips and put-downs and being bitchy? That’s what we all do here in the UK! For every show where an American woman cries or explains how she feels or tries resolve all issues, there’s a British counterpart where a British woman holds a fabulous grudge, says bitchy things and complains endlessly. I have no idea how American ladies smile all the time; you’re better people—clearly.

7. How are you able to only have one drink?

In LA, everyone drives everywhere, which must mean…you can only have one or two drinks? What is THAT all about? In the UK, we all walk to our “local” (a nickname for our nearest pub) after work. We pitch up in a corner, drink ourselves stupid and then stagger home. That is what we call a GOOD time. I have invited many American ladies out for drinks and seen their faces drop in horror as we order not just a glass of wine, but the bottle. Then again, most British women are lushes. We think it’s totally socially acceptable to drink any time after noon. It seems when it comes to drinking, you Yanks are much more sensible.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

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Gabriel Benitez • 3 months ago
Not all American Women are bad. It's true some are, especially when they are mostly seen partying hard and dating more than one guy. It's only their attitude that makes them who they are today unlike before.
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Panty Puddles • 3 months ago
While reading 1, 2, and 3, what popped into my mind was The Only Way is Essex.
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Baby Money • 6 months ago
American woman are not nice at all. Don't believe that for a second.
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ALittleGeeky Baby Money • 17 days ago
I agree wholeheartedly with this. The majority of other women that I've met, (my mother included) have all been very "nice" until you either A) get to really know them, or B) somehow make them mad. Whichever comes first. Granted there are people like this all over the world. All, I'm saying is that its a definite facade here. Earlier this year, I was talked about and called rude at my college by a "nice" woman for not returning her "good morning, hello". I was wearing headphones and there were other people behind me. Moral of the story, not all American women are nice and you have to say "hey" to everyone you meet here otherwise you're going to be labelled a jerk.
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Jo • 6 months ago
Although this doesn't describe me or all American woman (something the writer never claimed) I do understand where you are coming from.
Those who are saying you are generalizing are probably the same ones who have their own generalizations and stereotypes about others as well.
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Over40fashion • 10 months ago
I don't understand all the bashing. I am American and laughed my ass off reading this!
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SexyassMelissa • 10 months ago
well gee thank you for all those wonderful stereotypes.
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CB • a year ago
These are generalizations for a large country that is filled with different ideas and cultures! Not all of us have to have salon perfect nails, who and how we date is a personal choice (by the way having friends who happen to be male doesn't mean we're dating them) and a choice not shared by ALL women, grits are primarily a southern dish that we all don't eat, toddler beauty pageants, if someone wants to put their child through that, its their business, a larger majority of people would rather not! Us being loud? I've traveled extensively and always questioned why Americans were labeled as being so loud when I've witnessed people from all over that I wouldn't mind telling them to take it down a notch or two but I don't since I am a guest. Being polite is not necessarily being sincere...We have all sorts. We smile because its the socially accepted polite thing to do. So that being said, we are a diverse, which is a beautiful thing! Signed by a non manicured, non grit eating, documentary watching monogamous dating woman.
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Akiko Fujishima • a year ago
1. What is with your fascination with fingernails?

Women that don't have to work have the time, women who don't work a job that involves manual labor have the time. Taking good care of your nails and hands is just good hygiene. As for all the fake nails and all that, I don't get it either. I've never worn fake nails.. I do have long, well groomed nails. It just looks nice. Having chewed on fingernails with splitting cuticles, or splitting, peeling nails are what carpenters hands should look like, not a woman's. Having well groomed, decent length fingernails not only make your fingers look thinner, but also longer. It's more feminine. As for hair and clothing and all that.. the vast majority of American women do the same.. Well worn pair of jeans, a t-shirt after an in-and-out shower. These days people don't even bother with the jeans and wear their jim jam pants out to run errands.. lol.. You actually tend to see more of that hair quaffing and such with Latin-American women, and that's more based on their Latin culture than their American culture. Time to stop watching TV, and live in the states for a few years and experience actual reality.

2. Why do you date more than one guy?

Dating is not the same as having a boyfriend. When people date, it's just going out to dinner or a movie. Dates are for getting to know a guy. (By the way, guys do the same thing.. lol) If you find a guy you really connect with, you tend to stop dating the other men and stick with the one you see a future with. If you go on a date with a guy once, is he your boyfriend, do you intend from that moment to have his babies and take his last name? Of course not. So, this is why some women date more than one man. Dating is not synonymous with shagging. In fact, some of us are actually classy and don't "give up the goods" before the 2 year mark. If a guy can't wait 2 years for me, he's not even worth my time. Also comparing an affair to dating more than one person when there is no indication of a steady relationship is apples and oranges. It's cheating when there is an actual developed relationship and that "date" becomes your boyfriend.

3. Why do you argue loudly and in public?

What? Britons do so argue loudly and in public. I lived in the UK for 4 years and I heard it many a time. Especially when you lot come out of a pub walking like wet spaghetti with a pair of roller skates on.. lol. I personally don't ever argue in public, it's low-class and poor-breeding if you ask me. You tend to find that happening with people who lack any sort of composure and proper upbringing.. That isn't an American thing, that's a low class, ghetto thing.

4. What are grits and why do you eat them?

I know what grits are, but I've never eaten them.. They're predominately a southern thing. It's a ground-corn food that is actually Native-American in origin. Not sure why this question was even asked, as it's one that could be answered by looking up "grits" on the internet. Asking why people eat grits is like why asking you why you eat what you eat. People eat things for many reasons, because they were raised on it, because they like it, because it's cheap.. lol.

Or for that matter, hot dogs that look like giant penises?

I personally think bangers look more like giant penises than hotdogs.. lol. But, hotdogs are kind of gross, especially when you see how they're made. But, to me any meat stuffed into an intestine or some type of "edible" sleeve is pretty gross, bangers included.

Pumpkin pie is made from SUGAR PUMPKINS, and they are naturally sweet, not savoury. However, pumpkin pie is spiced with things like nutmeg and cinnamon. Pumpkins originate from North America, not Great Britain, so it's the UK that is eating them weird.. (Btw, I'm not American (by birth), but I've lived in the US for 20 years, having lived in Massachusetts, all the way to Utah and everywhere in between.) I've lived in the UK as well, and I never saw anyone eating pumpkin, let alone even seeing them in stores. Except for the larger orange pumpkins during Halloween which are not even meant to be eaten.

I'm not sure why a lot of people in the US eat obscene proportions, I'm sure it has some history, possibly steaming from the Great Depression when people had less. But, again, I've lived in the UK, and people there eat a lot too. I would go out with my bloke and his mom and they always ate quite a bit. But, then I originate from Japan, so all Westerners eat pig fattening proportions in my view. *shrugs* Are you sure those "chicken legs" were not "turkey legs"?

How you survived that overly sweet, overly lemoned iced tea is beyond me.. I tried it once when I first moved to the US and nearly went cross eyed.. :O

5. What’s with the toddler beauty pageants?

I don't like these either, but having friends who put their children in them. I understand for some it's living through their children.. For others, it's the money. I have one friend, her daughter loves being in them (her mom isn't psycho about it either, she feels when her daughter is done with doing them, that's OK), and she's earned enough money to attend college and furnish her first apartment. So for them, it's the money they've won and put towards the daughter's future.

6. Why are you so sincere and nice?

Hahahahahaha! Stop watching TV! Americans are rude, inconsiderate, violent and mouthy. People rarely say excuse me, people rarely take responsibility for things that are their fault, they're easily and overly offended by every real and perceived offence. American a-holes are no different than any other country's a-holes.. You have good and bad in all countries. I find it funny how you mention people arguing in the street in the US but then ask why Americans are so nice? Did you forget about the insane level of public bickering? I have a question.. Why are people so gullible and believe silly things like "reality" TV? It's not REAL, I've lived both in the UK and in the US, and I can say from experiencing both sides of the spectrum that people in the UK are much better to deal with. Sure you have rude people there, but not like in the US where a rude person will get ticked at you over their own rudeness.. I lost count of the number of times I was about a 2 feet behind a person and they go out of a door, saw me coming and just let the door slam in my face.. Something like that NEVER happened to me in the UK.

7. How are you able to only have one drink?

One drink? Yes, that explains the US having one of the highest incidents DUI traffic related accidents, in fact higher than that of the UK.. lol! I never walked to the local when I lived in the UK, because I lived in Jordanthorpe and the closest local (that we liked, anyway) was non-existent, we either went to The Corporation (a club), or The Banker's Draft (a nice pub in the city centre), which was either a ride in a car, a trip on the bus, or a seriously long walk home when the buses stopped.. lol

The US also has a SERIOUS problem with teen-age binge drinking to the point they die of alcohol poisoning. All of my friends are people who can never "drink just one.". Not sure where you're getting this "one drink" thing from.. People who do that are just keeping up appearances and don't want to appear to be a lush. But, once they get home, you know they're downing half their liquor cabinet.

It is, however, seen as taboo to drink before a certain time. People who drink before evening are often looked at as being possible drunks or alcoholics. Where, it was common for me to see people having a pint at the pub during breakfast. Which I never saw a problem with it. Having a pint of Guinness with your Full English doesn't seem like a bad thing to me. There's having a drink and then there's getting pissed. Personally, I love a Guinness in the morning.

Also, people in the UK don't walk around with handguns.. I can just imagine it, people walking out of the pub, good and sloshed, get in a row and then the guns come out.. The US has a lot of liquor stores, but less bars.. Whereas, there are more pubs/bars in the UK vs liquor stores ( 13,222 stores across the UK vs around 57,500 pubs, 42,941 liquor stores across the United States vs roughly 17,000 pubs/bars). So while public drinking is not taboo in the UK, and you lot do your drinking around others, Americans tend to get sloshed in the privacy of their own homes with good friends they know well.. lol!

Also, many people drink up at home before they go out to save money. I mean, you pay 9.99 for a good bottle of wine (price doesn't indicate good with wine or any thing other than beer.. lol), and about the same place for a glass of wine at a decent restaurant. Who wants to spend 90 bucks on wine that you can buy for 10 bucks?

It just seems you're asking about "American Women" based on a "reality" show, that in the US isn't real at all. Reality shows in the US are seen as more of a joke, and only the silliest of people take them seriously or believe what is going on in them.
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Ashley • a year ago
Absolutely none of those points applies to myself or any American woman I know. I have seen that show once or twice and it, in itself, is the most absurd and ridiculous show I have ever seen (and I watch the real housewives). I think it was actually the portrayal of American women that kept me from watching it. The fact that you base your entire opinion of us from a "reality" shows is the reason your view is completely invalid. Come to America before you write something like this again.
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Wan • a year ago
Just stay in wherever you are
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Gabbie • a year ago
Though I don't write for Thought Catalog, an American should definitely write a response article to this. THAT would be good reading.
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kim • a year ago
Reality Tv has nothing in common with actual American life. And what it depicts if the ppl shown really are like that then its such a small percent of "real" people. Don't assume everything you see on tv is real.
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Murican Girl • a year ago
Every point made here is completely one-sided. America is a very large country; therefore, each statement has a counter example somewhere in the US. I could write something similar about British women sipping tea and munching on crumpets but I won't because I'm not ignorant.
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DrinkingAmerican • a year ago
As an American living in England, this is completely ignorant. And that tv show sounds like it sucks.
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guest • a year ago
haha I think that you're watching a little bit too much reality TV. It's great, but try not to forget that it's totally fake.
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newsjunkie365 • a year ago
I forgot the awfulness of reality TV is exported. Pro-tip: The word 'reality' is used very loosely. Also, we're a country of over 300 million (often vastly different) people. Attempting to put all Americans in one box is never going to work.
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HeyJude • a year ago
#6 Bad girls club, bridezillas,..the real housewifes of everything,
MTV, bravo, oxygen
hmmk hope this helps u.
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Guest • a year ago
Haha I love dis! The women getting mad are the women who do these things, haha.
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mikayla Guest • a year ago
Actually, I found this quite offensive and I never do my nails, don't go to the salon, or really even care too much about how I look. Myself and lots of girls I know could down a bottle of whiskey with very little help. You can't hate on beef jerky or giant chicken legs. Most girls don't date more than one guy at once. In fact, I've been in a monogamous relationship for 2years now. Child beauty pageants are a disgrace to Americans as well unless you're one of the mom's who are actually going after the prize money. And most of the time, there's no screaming in public unless the people are bat shit crazy. Lady but not least, not all Americans are sincere. In fact, most aren't. Ever deal with a car salesman? Well, we're like them. You can't judge a whole country off a reality TV show. Those people only do that stuff for the camera.
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-__- • a year ago
way to be ignorant and generalize. every 'american woman' i know doesn't even fall under any of the things you said
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MovinCastle • a year ago
This reads like someone who is unfamiliar with British and American culture like they have only seen it portrayed in movies...or someone who thinks hundreds of millions of people are exactly like the 3 friends they have in the world who behave certain ways.
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Who are you? • a year ago
Completely agree. Hands down.
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sarah • a year ago
Hahahahaha. Maybe the British women you know don't fight loudly in public, but being a frequent visitor to the UK, I can assure you, that's not true for all Brits.
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M. • a year ago
I was born and raised in Massachusetts in a "stiff-upper lip" upper middle class family. None of these describe me or any of the people I grew up with at all.
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Chloe • a year ago
#7. HAHAHAHAHAHA. We drink. We drink a lot.
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guest Chloe • a year ago
I was gonna say 7 should probably be "why do you drive drunk so much it's f***ing dangerous"
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Southern belle • a year ago
Oh, honey bless your heat.
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Mikki Maner • a year ago
I just came here so I could read something out loud in an over the top British accent. Whhhhhyyy awww yew ahhhmerikans seeewww diffrant than us brrrritush layyydeez? I'm Harray Pottah! It's leveeyOHsah! Sorry, I'll leave.
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CJ • a year ago
There are over 158 million women in America, so I guess you could say this is a bit of a generalization...
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Guest • a year ago
I am an American woman and I wholeheartedly agree with you on basically all of this.
2. I HAVE NO IDEA what the point of dating lots of people is or why it's looked down on. I dated one guy for a long time, we're really happy, we're getting married. That's that.
3. Listening to people argue loudly in public, talk loudly at work, have loud phone conversations, etc. makes me extremely uncomfortable.
5. Toddler beauty pageants are creepy and strange.
7. I'm phsycially incapable of the one drink thing too.
I would say living in Europe for several years did this to me, but I'm pretty sure I've always felt this way so who knows.
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yank dating • a year ago
Interesting read. As for the dating multiple guys thing there's a historical answer to that:

In the 1920's the US was one of the first countries to start unchaperoned dates. Women live by themselves and went on platonic dates for fun without escort. This was the flapper woman or the "modern woman" and many of these customs were quite shocking for foreign countries at the time but it was largely due to "first wave feminism" (although there is debate on whether it was 1st or 2nd).
Other countries followed in this trend, some faster than others.
In the 1950s girls would go on dates with more than one boy to see if there was a connection (1950s so no sex ). Hyper femininity and family values were implemented after WWII to encourage more kids so women were expected to marry in the early 20s for the most part. Dating more than one guy helped crunch down that time and when one boy stood out--they would "go steady" aka be boyfriend and girlfriend and therefore exclusive.
So from the American perspective--you can't cheat on someone if you're not in a relationship. You have to get to know someone before you are in a relationship with them. And if you're only getting to know someone why wait on them? You may only go out on two dates because you don't click so what's the point? Not all dates have to have sex. At least thats just the yank perceptive from a century old tradition of dating.
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Becky • a year ago
1. Most women in America don't give a damn about their nails. 2. Most women in America date one man at a time or are married. 3. Only trash bitches argue in public. 4. Who the f**k eats grits!? What the hell are you watching? 5. Toddler beauty pageants are participated in by the same people who argue in the streets - like, .0001% of Americans. 6. Why are you brits so cunty? 7. Plenty of us get shitfaced. Seriously, what on earth are you watching that you get this idea of us?
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Ellen Nguyen • a year ago
Yes right just as I thought this is from Your Tango. Oh, Your Tango. Enough said I suppose?

But did you just seriously write a long ass post about a bunch of specific stereotyped women from a TV show while generalizing it as a whole population and ask these rather pointless questions? Well I guess I know one thing Your Tango is good at -- Fish for views by making readers be all like, What? Seriously? Did you just? I mean, really? What year is this?

Oh wait. Before saying all this should I start with something like I'm not dissing anyone or anything just in case people take offense? Please.
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Guest • a year ago
I'm an American woman, and I don't understand women of the variety you're describing. I think they only exist on "reality" TV. Seriously. The only thing I love that you probably don't understand is pumpkin. I'll eat pumpkin anything. I live out in the country, so it's pretty easy to have a ton of pumpkins that you have nothing to do with, so you cook them up and eat them! Pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin smoothies, pumpkin tea.... ANYTHING. I love pumpkin so much.

Anywho, back to the main subject at hand: I don't understand those women either. However, I had a mostly British childhood, so that might explain a bit of that.
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Bonkers McGee • a year ago
Bless your heart, Suzanne Jennese. I can understand that you have that perspective on us American women because of social media, but I can assure you that the majority of us are nothing like this. It sounds like you came to your conclusions about us by watching American tv and reading and watching the internet. I am an American and I CANNOT relate to any of this.
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Fitty • a year ago
I'm Canadian, so I love Brits. We think they know how to tell and take a joke, are fabulously witty and smart when they speak, (ever so eloquently) not to mention the talent and creativity that comes out of that place! Arguably the best music to have ever been created came out of the UK...The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zeppelin, Eric Clapton, THE LIST GOES ON. Britain has it's fair share of warts just like my country, (god knows the US is not without problems too...lol...) but I would LOVE to visit and take in as much British culture as I could!
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reader Fitty • a year ago
Canada has a shit ton of awesome musicians. Also Robertson Davies.
I'm from the U.S....
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jdklas • a year ago
LOL please don't compare all Americans to what you've seen on reality TV. All of it is over-the-top for the cameras. And grits are amazing but definitely an acquired taste
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ajpwriter • a year ago
In a nutshell, the Brit "stiff upper lip" is a vestige of the aristocracy. Self-control was the supreme virtue to the Old Nobility, as it allowed one to operate both on the battlefield and at court with maximum effectiveness. To play the game of thrones, as it were.

Now the ramschackle couthless republic of former colonies that ate North America over the course of the 19th century had no aristocracy, and by the presidency of Andrew Jackson had ceased to pretend that it did. Instead, America has its bourgeoisie. And to business people, honesty is the supreme virtue, as it guarantees contracts and clarifies intent. Thus, Americans feel no shame about airing their feelings and fighting in public. Sincerity is virtue. Calculation smacks of the Crowned Heads of the Old World and our former imperial masters.
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American Girl • a year ago
I hate to state the obvious, but a reality show is not really a great reference point for how all American women act. Furthermore, L.A. women definitely do not represent all Americans, they tend to be a pretty specific breed.
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Rebecca American Girl • a month ago
Oh my f***ing god, grow up and stop being offended by an article. Clearly you have no life, since you've posted about a gazillion stupid comments.

I can see why you're angry at the writer, but you should have made your point and gotten on with your life. If you want to help in stopping stereotypes, stop acting like the classic 'easily offended' American and get a grip.

Sincerely, a British woman.
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Nicole • a year ago
Well, I'm a sarcastic, drunk, non-yelling American woman. I was obviously born in the wrong country. But don't hate on grits, they're delicious.
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meh Nicole • a year ago
omg cheesy grits
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Guest Nicole • a year ago
I agree with all that, except for the grits part. We don't eat grits here up north.
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reader Guest • a year ago
Some of us do.
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Nicole Guest • a year ago
You should. Little cheese, butter, and salt/pepper. or throw shrimp on them. Or chicken. Anything really haha
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jdklas Nicole • a year ago
Shrimp and grits! Yes! Add some andouille sausage... yum!
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Ashley Nicole • a year ago
Are you really drunk right now? XD
It's 9am here on the east coast.
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Nicole Ashley • a year ago
Hahaha, not at the moment, but as a general blanketing statement. I'm not the "one drink" type.
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Ashley • a year ago
heh uhm, I mean this is a cute concept and all but you don't seem to know much about either Americans or Brits.

I'm Canadian.
I have lived in both America and England (mum and dad are Londoners)
There are plenty of British women who do their nails, drink one or two at the club and get into fist fights loudly.
American women aren't any nicer either they're just far less funny about it when they're being nasty.

Your small sheltered wold view is just that, it's not really based in reality I'm afraid.

Remember the old adage, write what you know?

It wasn't this topic.
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Sofia Ashley • a year ago
She's way off on a few things. I don't agree with her that American women date many guys at once. I mean some do but that's not the norm. And I have no idea where she got the idea about the fingernails? Honestly, sounds like she's basing her view by the phony reality TV wannabe stars she sees.
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Ashley Sofia • a year ago
Haha yah it's so strange.

I followed some links to her blog, and she seems well educated and like a pretty decent writer so if I had to guess I'd say this was a creative writing character piece. Like maybe she is writing from the perspective of a 20 something dingbat.
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Ashley Guest • a year ago
Men had been doing it for centuries, perhaps they felt they'd give it a try?
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