Do any of you feel caught between extremes too?

[Winston]

From my letter to my Filipino friend: (do any of you feel the same way as me?)


"It's lonely being an independent thinker who lives for truth, isn't it? You either act fake and go through the motions with people in groups, or you are alone. Kinda sucks huh?

I seem to be caught between two extremes, in a lot of ways.

In the Philippines, the low class are very friendly and open, but it's hard to find anyone you can have an intelligent stimulating conversation with, and they live for money, not intellectual fulfillment or truth. So I don't exactly "fit in with them" mentally. Do you? When you hang out with poor families in poor neighborhoods, do you feel kind of out of place, like there's nothing to talk about with people there?

On the other hand, the middle class are more intelligent and educated, but they are also much more closed minded, cliquish, judgmental, and picky too. I am not those things either, so it's hard to fit in with them too, though I can make polite conversation with them of course.

In America, I am also caught between extremes. On one side are the majority left brain dominant conformist/follower types who have no freethought, follow the crowd, and ridicule anyone who doesn't fit in. They are workaholics, enjoy being slaves and robots, need structure and like being told what to do. They would not know what to do with real freedom, and are paranoid and live in fear, as conditioned by the system. You can get along with them by being polite for a while, but when they find out that you are nonconformist and think outside the box, they become uncomfortable and avoid you.

On the other extreme are the right brain dominant artist/hippie types who smoke pot and wear eccentric clothes. You find them often at concerts that try to mimic Woodstock, and at Rainbow Gatherings too. These people are more interesting to talk to, since they are counter culture and rebellious and hate the system, but it's hard to call them your friends because they are flaky, irresponsible, moody and do not follow through on plans and promises, which means they aren't there for you when you need them most. They often disappear over time, even if you connected with them for a while when you met them. Plus they often exude fake optimism. Or actually, they are either angry rebels, or rosy overly optimistic types who are that way because they religiously believe in the "law of attraction" bullshit which teaches that if you are always positive and optimistic, then you will attract only good things in your life. While there is partial truth to that, they take it too far and literally, and exude fake optimism and positivity all the time, while denying a large portion of reality. For that reason, I don't consider them to be real truthseekers.

It's hard to find someone in the middle, who is a freethinker, truthseeker and nonconformist but is responsible and reliable too. That's the type I am, but I rarely meet anyone who is like me. So what can I do? Do you fit into either extreme?

Of course, if I were more attractive by US cultural standards, people would care less that I was different."

[Winston]

Here is an example from Ladislav of another dual extreme in the US:

In the US you have one more problem- either the people are intellectual and leftist homo whiny feminist PC types or they are fascist ignorant red necks. Then you have uptight minorities who stay in racial cliques.

It is hard to meet a bit right of center intellectual the way I am, for one.

[globetrotter]

You have constructed a personal ideology that is built upon a false either/or choice.

[MrPeabody]

I have had problems even talking to people from my profession who are supposedly “highly� educated. They can only talk about sports and cars or other things that don’t interest me. I have been in groups where they can spend hours talking about their favorite restaurant, and if I try to discuss something of interest to me, I am met with stone silence. Maybe in England one could find more aware people willing to discuss things of significance.

[Enishi]

In the US you have one more problem- either the people are intellectual and leftist homo whiny feminist PC types or they are fascist ignorant red necks. Then you have uptight minorities who stay in racial cliques.

It is hard to meet a bit right of center intellectual the way I am, for one.

I've noticed this as well. Even among those who are intelligent in some areas and claim to be openminded, their assumptions are still heavily restricted to a certain political framework. Oftentimes it seems to be that people are more closeminded the more education they have, especially if they are left of center. Perhaps the intelligence which is necessary to advance to a certain level also results in one spending more time being indoctrinated by US universities.

[Rock]

From my letter to my Filipino friend: (do any of you feel the same way as me?)


"It's lonely being an independent thinker who lives for truth, isn't it? You either act fake and go through the motions with people in groups, or you are alone. Kinda sucks huh?

I seem to be caught between two extremes, in a lot of ways.

In the Philippines, the low class are very friendly and open, but it's hard to find anyone you can have an intelligent stimulating conversation with, and they live for money, not intellectual fulfillment or truth. So I don't exactly "fit in with them" mentally. Do you? When you hang out with poor families in poor neighborhoods, do you feel kind of out of place, like there's nothing to talk about with people there?

On the other hand, the middle class are more intelligent and educated, but they are also much more closed minded, cliquish, judgmental, and picky too. I am not those things either, so it's hard to fit in with them too, though I can make polite conversation with them of course.

In America, I am also caught between extremes. On one side are the majority left brain dominant conformist/follower types who have no freethought, follow the crowd, and ridicule anyone who doesn't fit in. They are workaholics, enjoy being slaves and robots, need structure and like being told what to do. They would not know what to do with real freedom, and are paranoid and live in fear, as conditioned by the system. You can get along with them by being polite for a while, but when they find out that you are nonconformist and think outside the box, they become uncomfortable and avoid you.

On the other extreme are the right brain dominant artist/hippie types who smoke pot and wear eccentric clothes. You find them often at concerts that try to mimic Woodstock, and at Rainbow Gatherings too. These people are more interesting to talk to, since they are counter culture and rebellious and hate the system, but it's hard to call them your friends because they are flaky, irresponsible, moody and do not follow through on plans and promises, which means they aren't there for you when you need them most. They often disappear over time, even if you connected with them for a while when you met them. Plus they often exude fake optimism. Or actually, they are either angry rebels, or rosy overly optimistic types who are that way because they religiously believe in the "law of attraction" bullshit which teaches that if you are always positive and optimistic, then you will attract only good things in your life. While there is partial truth to that, they take it too far and literally, and exude fake optimism and positivity all the time, while denying a large portion of reality. For that reason, I don't consider them to be real truthseekers.

It's hard to find someone in the middle, who is a freethinker, truthseeker and nonconformist but is responsible and reliable too. That's the type I am, but I rarely meet anyone who is like me. So what can I do? Do you fit into either extreme?

Of course, if I were more attractive by US cultural standards, people would care less that I was different."

Cheer-up man. Your mates are here on the forum. That's the good thing about Internet. No matter how obscure your niche may be, you can always some similar types from the 100s of millions online.

[momopi]

There are 3 common ways to succeed socially in the US:
1. Be popular
2. Wear the right hat
3. Know how to wear multiple hats

There are many paths to popularity. Some people are naturally popular, consider the Greek word "charisma" which means gift from the gods. In modern times we use "X-factor", which is like the French "Je ne sais quoi". Other people can be popular with good looks, some are born with the right genes, others work hard and got cosmetic surgery and invested time/effort in fashion/gym/make-up/dress/hair, and so on. A pretty girl will likely be more popular.

A "hat" can be a hobby, club, school, political/professional/ethnic association, and anything else you can think of with group activities. A hat can be as simple as a pet dog, and a group can be as small as 2 persons meeting in a park while walking their dogs on a leash. Yes couples do meet this way and end up married with 5 dogs in the yard. Figure this one out yourself.

As for people in the extremes, IMO some of the music majors/teachers I know are short-circuit in the brain. On one hand they're perfectly precise with music, on the other, they're emotional basket-case drama-queens.

[ladislav]

It just goes to show that 2 countries or even 3 are not enough. Russia is a country filled with intellectual simple people and so is Argentina or Uruguay. You can have deep intellectual discussions. Quebec is the same way. And people there are easy to meet.

The thing is- these countries lie outside the Anglosphere and one needs to speak Spanish/Russian/French to be able to travel in those circles.

[Shokkers]

That's kind of an elitist proposition, Winston. There are the 'two extremes' you describe, but not everyone fits 100% into either category.
I play poker with a bunch of 'armchair generals' every Friday night, but we have fun and generally hear each other out on our opinions...

One of the best things one's able to do, I think, is to broach an idea to someone in a manner that broadens their mind...for example, Warren Farrell was the president of NOW, and always fought the 'wage difference' between men and women. Then one day he thought "Wait, if women really earned less, who would ever hire a man?" And his outlook changed overnight.

[Winston]

Other ways I'm caught between extremes:

- In America, white cliques see me as Asian and belonging to Asian groups, due to my appearance. But Asian groups see that my personality is not like them. I don't obey society, I don't care about my grades, I'm not focused on the practical, I'm less nitpicky about little things, etc. Totally different vibe and wavelength. Even people on AOL in the 90's said they were shocked when I told them I'm Asian. They said "You don't talk like an Asian." I do not say the kind of things that Asians say. Many noticed that and said so.

So both groups, white and asian, do not see me as part of them. Sucks huh?

- In Taiwan, mainstream homogenous girls like TW guys who have TW culture and mindset in them. A minority of girls are more open minded and Westernized in their mind and interests. But these girls seek white men. I don't fit the preferences of either. Sucks huh?

[momopi]

- In Taiwan, mainstream homogenous girls like TW guys who have TW culture and mindset in them. A minority of girls are more open minded and Westernized in their mind and interests. But these girls seek white men. I don't fit the preferences of either. Sucks huh?

There are 500,000 Taiwanese aborigines in TW in 14 recognized tribes, plus unknown numbers in 12 unrecognized tribes. Have you considered visiting them for a new cultural experience?

[Enishi]

That photo of TW aborigines is quite interesting. At first glance they reminded me of some Native American groups.

[wuxi]

Theres lots of people that don't fit neatly into a clearly defined demographic. This can be problematic during awkward social situations when your forced interact with people who have different values and interests as you. When you throw in gender and cultural differences it becomes even more challenging.

I noticed most of the guys I know that are married have hardly anything in common with there wives. The only thing that keeps there relationships together is the husband likes making money and the wife likes spending money. I've never met a woman that I really clicked with and thats why I'm still single.

[momopi]

That photo of TW aborigines is quite interesting. At first glance they reminded me of some Native American groups.

This is Acer's "Travelmate" laptop commercial, filmed in TW's Alisan:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2EhJXx7 ... re=related[/youtube]

I will post more later.

[Winston]

- In Taiwan, mainstream homogenous girls like TW guys who have TW culture and mindset in them. A minority of girls are more open minded and Westernized in their mind and interests. But these girls seek white men. I don't fit the preferences of either. Sucks huh?

There are 500,000 Taiwanese aborigines in TW in 14 recognized tribes, plus unknown numbers in 12 unrecognized tribes. Have you considered visiting them for a new cultural experience?

I went to some of their public performances long ago. They reminded me of those Hawaiian native shows.

But how do you get into their community itself to meet the people there? Can you just walk in?

Next time you go, I'll try to go along.