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Key Points:

- Had intense, explosive anger issues from a young age that continued into adulthood and manifested in violent outbursts. Earliest memories at age 5 contain a lot of rage. As a teenager, would punch holes in walls and break windows regularly in fits of anger.

- Found an outlet for rage through intense boxing training and matches. Could exercise for 6 hours a day hitting bags and sparring. Boxing provided a "beautiful outlet" to channel anger and avoid legal troubles.

- Realized the violent self-talk happening unconsciously in his mind was making the anger worse. Became aware of the constant critical inner monologue berating himself.

- Inner voice was intensely critical, screaming at himself for any perceived mistake. Any minor imperfection resulted in his "inner Bobby Knight" verbally attacking himself furiously.

- Therapist gave exercise to stop negative self-talk and instead speak kindly as if to a friend. Had to pretend mistakes were made by a close friend and speak gently.

- Had to record kind messages as if consoling a friend who made the same mistake. Captured these positive messages to himself on his phone.

- Sent recordings to therapist to hold himself accountable to the practice. Therapist received many audio files as part of the process.

- In only 4 months, violent inner voice was gone - incredible neuroplasticity. At age 47, thought it would take decades, but angry inner voice disappeared rapidly.

- Can now be more self-compassionate and less critical of himself and others. No longer beating himself or others up mentally.

galii wrote: ↑

July 16th, 2023, 4:52 am

- Had to record kind messages as if consoling a friend who made the same mistake. Captured these positive messages to himself on his phone.

- Sent recordings to therapist to hold himself accountable to the practice. Therapist received many audio files as part of the process.

- In only 4 months, violent inner voice was gone - incredible neuroplasticity. At age 47, thought it would take decades, but angry inner voice disappeared rapidly.

- Can now be more self-compassionate and less critical of himself and others. No longer beating himself or others up mentally.

kangarunner wrote: ↑

July 16th, 2023, 6:00 am

galii wrote: ↑

July 16th, 2023, 4:52 am

- Had to record kind messages as if consoling a friend who made the same mistake. Captured these positive messages to himself on his phone.

- Sent recordings to therapist to hold himself accountable to the practice. Therapist received many audio files as part of the process.

- In only 4 months, violent inner voice was gone - incredible neuroplasticity. At age 47, thought it would take decades, but angry inner voice disappeared rapidly.

- Can now be more self-compassionate and less critical of himself and others. No longer beating himself or others up mentally.

It's good to listen to these types of videos on 1.5x speed.

That practice probably worked for him. But it's very specific to his case. Glad it worked for him. If only there were good enough therapists who could be thoughtful enough to look at one's situation and problems and come up with a good way to help someone. The problem is most therapists are total shit.

Happier Abroad is still the answer to making your life better. If you're in a shit environment with shit, nasty people, no amount of therapy will help at all.

galii wrote: ↑

July 16th, 2023, 6:54 am

I disagree. That method in principle I believe works quite good for most people who do it. You have that basically automatic when you do meditation. When the self insulting comes to your mind you just watch it. You do not react and it loses it's power. So then you have the mind space to watch the topic from different perspectives. You can do some positive self talk and journaling and things normally get better.

kangarunner wrote: ↑

July 16th, 2023, 5:03 pm

galii wrote: ↑

July 16th, 2023, 6:54 am

I disagree. That method in principle I believe works quite good for most people who do it. You have that basically automatic when you do meditation. When the self insulting comes to your mind you just watch it. You do not react and it loses it's power. So then you have the mind space to watch the topic from different perspectives. You can do some positive self talk and journaling and things normally get better.

Of course that is a good method, but I meant the therapist he went to who told him that method.....the problem is that most therapists are cuckoo and basically throwing away your money.