Update: WE ARE BACK ONLINE! The Forum has been RESTORED! See announcement here. If there are any problems or issues, please report them in the announcement thread. Note: Unfortunately I was not able to import the posts made after the crash (on Sept 18) into the restored forum. However, I exported all the posts submitted after the crash into a Word file, so you can download it, find your posts and re-post them. Download the posts here. Thanks for your patience and welcome back everyone!



Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.



View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Mobile Friendly Theme


Changing your thoughts/self/attitude vs. Changing your location/environment/culture

Discuss personal development, self-improvement and motivational psychology.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
Posts: 28278
Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm
Contact:

Changing your thoughts/self/attitude vs. Changing your location/environment/culture

Post by Winston » September 19th, 2013, 10:07 pm

As you might know, pretty much all the popular New Age self-improvement gurus out there claim that changing your thoughts and attitude will change your life. But none of them advocate that the answer is in changing your location, like we do. We seem to be the only ones that advocate changing your location as a solution. Why is that?

I think it's because it's politically correct to blame yourself, but not to blame your society or culture. You see, if you focus on changing your thoughts, that connotates that the problem is within you. But if you focus on location as a solution, then you are blaming your society or culture, which is not politically correct. Even personal transformation gurus have to be politically correct.

In reality though, both are factors. Your thoughts do affect your health and your life, but so does your location and the people around you. The problem with these popular transformation gurus, is that they only focus on the former and not the latter.

What do you think?

Here is what I mean. See this video below by Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Bruce Lipton where they talk together on stage. They are both great speakers and authors, and make a great case scientifically for why your thoughts can change your health and even alter your genes. However, they do not recognize the limitations of thoughts, nor do they explain that thoughts and attitudes are merely a factor and that you can't blame everything on them. That's where their flaw lies. But they do present a lot of fantastic groundbreaking information about how attitude affects your body and health more than you know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiXD6ySST8U

A few more:

Dr. Wayne Dyer: Attitude is everything, so pick a good one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCdZWvB_5dM

Bruce Lipton on the biology of belief
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhTSikYNOdA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSo88GMrA8w
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne




Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!



ladislav
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 3662
Joined: September 6th, 2007, 7:30 pm

Post by ladislav » September 19th, 2013, 10:44 pm

It's brainwashing. TPTB around the world want you to blame yourself while they rape and pillage you. Can you imagine how harmless people will be when they just sit and blame themselves while these bastards at the top are not blaming themselves?
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!

User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
Posts: 28278
Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm
Contact:

Post by Winston » September 19th, 2013, 11:21 pm

ladislav wrote:It's brainwashing. TPTB around the world want you to blame yourself while they rape and pillage you. Can you imagine how harmless people will be when they just sit and blame themselves while these bastards at the top are not blaming themselves?
I thought you said you didn't believe in conspiracies? Now you use terms such as TPTB? lol

True, but these New Age transformation gurus do present a lot of good helpful information about how your attitudes and thoughts affect your health and body. They are definitely a big factor, though they overplay it. See the presentations above. They present a lot of scientific evidence and logical arguments.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

Banano
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2012
Joined: June 11th, 2011, 9:26 am

Post by Banano » September 20th, 2013, 12:22 am

These New age transformation gurus remind me of PUA gurus.

They both say blame yourself for your situation but say you are born dog ugly and are undesirable to women how the hell all these positivity will help the situation?

When you are horny and want to bang no amount of positive thoughts can tame the beast. I bet they don't have good answer to that.

momopi
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 4897
Joined: September 1st, 2007, 5:44 am
Location: Orange County, California

Post by momopi » September 20th, 2013, 1:37 am

Changing your location is usually easier than changing your thoughts. If you worked at a plastic parts factory and the fumes is making you ill every day, the logical step is to quit your job and go somewhere else. If you fail to do this then your inaction is indeed, your problem.

Changing mindset is more difficult as some people are genetically coded for a "set point" of happiness, contentment, or unhappiness. It can be said that those who are naturally happy and those who are naturally unhappy are both "unbalanced" with their brain chemicals, though by preference being happy is better and more desirable than being unhappy. A significant component of how you feel is determined by brain chemistry, and those who lost the genetic lottery will never feel fulfilled or happy on long-term basis. Although they can obtain temporary happiness from stimulation, such as the "halo effect" of moving to a new place, sooner or later they will return to being unhappy and unfulfilled because, life naturally suck for them. This is why psychologists dope them up with drugs, because there is really no easy cure or solution.

For others, there's also the "right place" vs "wrong place". Given a certain country, city, and culture, it can be assumed that if there is a mainstream culture, then there must be a counter-culture of people who are unhappy with the so called mainstream. I've known people who lived in the US and hated it, but when they moved to Japan it was like fish in water to them, simply because the Japanese culture clicks much better with them. The test is actually living there for a number of years and see if the person still feel the same way. Halo effects go away after few months, but true affinity will last a lifetime.

Hero
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1708
Joined: July 3rd, 2008, 9:19 pm

Post by Hero » September 20th, 2013, 1:40 am

If all that's necessary is changing your thoughts, then there's no reason to do anything at all, even getting out of bed in the morning.

Tsar
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2029
Joined: August 7th, 2012, 8:40 pm
Location: Somwhere, Maine

Post by Tsar » September 20th, 2013, 2:14 am

People have to change their location. Changing thoughts isn't enough in some situations such as ours where we want things love, relationships, and friendships. For some of us it's also more opportunity, more freedom, and a healthy culture.

Changing thoughts works when a person thinks "I am not good enough" or "Why am I not having success with women" or "I am a boring person." They can change their thoughts and realize they are good enough. I don't think that self-help books are anything people can't realize or learn on their own. HappierAbroad also has many elements of self-help and helps men realize that they aren't the problem. It can also change perceptions and thoughts on issues. Self-help books are good for the possibly helping people that haven't awakened, authors making money, and to motivate the sheep of society.

Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 7871
Joined: January 20th, 2009, 10:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Post by Jester » September 20th, 2013, 9:43 am

ladislav wrote:It's brainwashing. TPTB around the world want you to blame yourself while they rape and pillage you. Can you imagine how harmless people will be when they just sit and blame themselves while these bastards at the top are not blaming themselves?
New Agers say you're to blame.

Bastards at the top agree.

Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 7871
Joined: January 20th, 2009, 10:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Re: Changing your thoughts vs. Changing your location?

Post by Jester » September 20th, 2013, 9:54 am

Winston wrote:As you might know, pretty much all the popular New Age personal transformation gurus out there claim that changing your thoughts and attitude will change your life. But none of them advocate that the answer is in changing your location, like we do. We seem to be the only ones that advocate changing your location as a solution. Why is that?

I think it's because it's politically correct to blame yourself, but not to blame your society or culture. You see, if you focus on changing your thoughts, that connotates that the problem is within you. But if you focus on location as a solution, then you are blaming your society or culture, which is not politically correct. Even personal transformation gurus have to be politically correct.

In reality though, both are factors. Your thoughts do affect your health and your life, but so does your location and the people around you. The problem with these popular transformation gurus, is that they only focus on the former and not the latter.

What do you think?

Here is what I mean. See this video below by Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Bruce Lipton where they talk together on stage. They are both great speakers and authors, and make a great case scientifically for why your thoughts can change your health and even alter your genes. However, they do not recognize the limitations of thoughts, nor do they explain that thoughts and attitudes are merely a factor and that you can't blame everything on them. That's where their flaw lies. But they do present a lot of fantastic groundbreaking information about how attitude affects your body and health more than you know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BiXD6ySST8U

A few more:

Dr. Wayne Dyer: Attitude is everything, so pick a good one!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCdZWvB_5dM

Bruce Lipton on the biology of belief
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhTSikYNOdA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSo88GMrA8w
I think thoughts and words can make the most of where you are. For example if you are in a prison camp, great habits might keep you alive, and if you add kissing ass, you might become a trustee. But still in prison.

To become a real success, you have to bust a move, take action, go-get.

Momopi gave an example of toxic fumes, where geographic change was the main and only thing. But that's rare. Usually self-change is MORE imortant. Not necessarily because it leads to bigger gains, but because it is PRIMARY - it generally has to come first. Otherwise you make a big change in surroundings, but slip back into old patterns, as Momopi described.

I welcome anybody posting here what they've done to improve their lives WITHOUT changing surroundings. Just to balance or supplement the general HA approach.

User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
Posts: 28278
Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm
Contact:

Post by Winston » September 20th, 2013, 10:51 am

Banano wrote:These New age transformation gurus remind me of PUA gurus.

They both say blame yourself for your situation but say you are born dog ugly and are undesirable to women how the hell all these positivity will help the situation?

When you are horny and want to bang no amount of positive thoughts can tame the beast. I bet they don't have good answer to that.
This is true. But the gurus I referred to above are not talking about getting women. They are talking about how your thoughts, attitudes and your subconscious mind programmed by your parents and media, can vastly affect your health and body. They've even been known to cause spontaneous remission in cancer.

Dr. Bruce Lipton presented tons of compelling scientific evidence to support this. See his presentation posted above. At the end, there is a beautiful inspiring music video about loving others. It's definitely groundbreaking and worth watching. Dr. Lipton is a real pioneer in the mind-body field. Here it is again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhTSikYNOdA

However, there is too much emphasis on your thoughts which implies that everything in life is under your control. This is the chief flaw and fallacy. If everything is under your control and power, then that indicates that you are to blame for everything.

Thoughts are a major factor in health and body, but they are not all powerful and they have their limits. The problem is that these gurus don't acknowledge that. They portray thoughts as all powerful. However, they are a big factor, especially the silent thoughts in the routine of your subconscious mind.

He also presents some new evidence that indicates that our thoughts can alter our genes. It's very interesting. You guys should check it out.

I like how Dr. Lipton used the analogy that each of us is a community of 50 trillion cells, all of which has a job function, purpose, lifespan, just like individual organisms do. And in this "community", our minds and attitudes are the "government" of our body. Good "governments" cause good health in our cells and bad "governments" can damage the health of our cells. It's a fascinating analogy and makes us realize that nothing is truly independent.

Anyhow, still, we seem to be the only ones advocating changing of location as a solution. I don't know why that's so taboo.

Correction: After watching the presentation above, I noticed that Dr. Lipton does mention that our environment and our perception of it are factors as well. So I just wanted to revise this point.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

User avatar
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
Posts: 2820
Joined: March 9th, 2011, 6:09 pm
Location: London
Contact:

Post by xiongmao » September 20th, 2013, 11:07 am

Been raining for 21 hours and I'm building websites. So how does my life in Bangkok differ to my former life back in my cubicle in England. Lol.

Kind of harder to change your life than it is your location. We're creatures of habit.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Want to teach English overseas? Check out my experiences teaching at a Uni in China.
Love Chinese girls? Read my complete guide to Chinese dating.

Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 7871
Joined: January 20th, 2009, 10:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Post by Jester » September 20th, 2013, 11:38 am

xiongmao wrote:Been raining for 21 hours and I'm building websites. So how does my life in Bangkok differ to my former life back in my cubicle in England. Lol.

Kind of harder to change your life than it is your location. We're creatures of habit.
The Man In The Bamboo Cubicle

User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
Posts: 28278
Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm
Contact:

Post by Winston » September 21st, 2013, 2:33 am

Here is a New Age BS guru with a British accent called Story Waters. He claims that the key to freedom is "abandoning limitations and embracing limitlessness". lol

He also says that there is no such thing as an external source of darkness, and that darkness is only the absence of light. lol

What hogwash. What kind of people believe stuff like that?

Here is part one of his series.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXLV_TtTCGA
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

ladislav
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 3662
Joined: September 6th, 2007, 7:30 pm

Post by ladislav » September 21st, 2013, 3:04 am

Positive thinking is an unproven religion. It is not mainstream science. It's just a theory with no scientific back up. Some experiments show that negative thoughts influence health. Yeah, when you are sad, you feel lousy and the immune system may go down. But there are no Nobel prizes on that and no mainstream study.

It also does not explain why it is that so often evil comes when you are happy and relaxed and bang! Or when you worry and brood but nothing bad happens- everything turns out OK. This is MY experience in life.

Most of the things I got in life were from angry determinations and intense efforts plus patience. My mind is that of a warrior. Positive, negative, it does not matter- I just make efforts. Positively, negatively, who cares?

Thoughts have some power but not a lot. You can have negative thoughts but if you take positive action, then the thoughts matter little. Also, many of these philosophers are comfortable people who live in 1st world countries and who have obviously never known wars, famines and horrible governments. And they are the ones who have the time and money to publish all these books.

They cannot explain a tsunami in Japan or Chernobyl or war when a huge cruel army enters your city and kills, rapes and tortures people in it.

They also cannot explain sufferings of children hundreds of thousands of whom die in bad places without having any thoughts yet.

So, people who have had the fortune to be living under rich democratic governments with little or no crime, good medical care, plenty of food and no war going on, will only need good thoughts and then possibly good actions to reach out and change something for an even better thing.

There are causes which are much deeper than thoughts for the rest of the world.

I lived in Kuwait and met many sullen, arrogant Kuwaitis who were pretty hateful people. Nice cars, great jobs, many wives. Next door you have Iraq with all the war and bombings.

Do women get raped because they are thinking they will? How about it happens most unexpectedly?

Positive thought gurus get only a very partial picture.

A positive thought is different from a determined thought which leads to a strong action in the direction in which you want to go.

ps. I wrote a book recently and was very rah rah about it and very positive it was going to make me cash. It was a great idea and so were many others I had. The response was very negative and not one copy sold. I was also involved in a very interesting art project which I was sure would succeed. I was totally positive it would. It was a disaster. So were many other great business ideas I had.

otoh, I was very negative and fearful about working in Saudi Arabia and was constantly afraid that I was going to be attacked by terrorists or that other bad things would happen to me. Nothing bad happened. The whole experience is now nothing but great memories and plenty of money.

I was going to Iraq though and was not thinking any negative thoughts. But suddenly I did not pass my medical and was turned down. Did I expect this to happen? Nope. Did I have negative thoughts? No.

Realities of business markets, job markets, love markets as well as laws and rules out there in societies exist independently from positive or negative thoughts. So do disasters, and good things.

I remember I got fired from my job when I was feeling totally positive and happy and thought my contract would be extended. Another person became my manager and she cleaned out the shop.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!

Moretorque
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 5093
Joined: April 28th, 2013, 3:00 pm
Location: USA,FL

Post by Moretorque » September 22nd, 2013, 2:57 am

Hey Ladislav, there is some new genetic work that was released earlier this year on the origins of the European Jews. You might want to take a look at it, these people are not sponcered by the credit monopoly either so the findings may be more accurate.
Time to Hide!

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Self-Improvement and Motivational Psychology”