Why are men so neurotic in America?

[MrPeabody]

As I mentioned, I am going through English teacher training in Thailand. There are young Pakistani men in my class. I have seen them openly flirt with the women in the classroom. They all have this laid back fun loving attitude, so the women don't really seem to mind. When you think of it, this is really the way normal men should behave. Flirting with a woman should be a joy and something a man just naturally does because it is fun. This is normal. So, why are men in America so different? Why are there so many American men who are actually terrified to approach a woman? This is actually a neurosis. I believe that this is neurotic behavior instilled in men by their culture. Is seems that the Muslim cultures, which still value men, are generally healthy for men, and produce normal men who like to flirt. There is also one Muslim girl in my class. She is the smartest student and she is incredibly sweet.

[onezero4u]

"what do I think of western civilization?....it sounds like a good idea"
ghandi

i prefer the so called third world gender roles any day...

[well-informed]

It's the culture here in America; Mr.Peabody. American men don't approach as much as other men because of how AW are.
It's fine if you approach a woman and get rejected, that's fine (it happens to all of us). But when you keep approaching AW and you keep getting rejected, it will affect you emotionally at some point. This is what happens

1. You start to question yourself and your value. You start building inferiority complexes (i'm not brad pitt, not rich enough, not big enough, not tall enough) even though in reality you may be a decent average guy.

2. If you do something like approaching women and you keep getting negative reinforcement then you'll less likely do it again, to protect your ego. It's not healthy to think that all women wouldn't want to be with you.

3. You stop approaching or limit it because what's the point, in your mind you can already see what would happen if you did approach. You approach and she gets creeped out by you, has a platonic conversation that leads nowhere, or she has a boyfriend whether it's true or not.

So negative reinforcement compounded over years is why i think it's the biggest reason why American men are scared to approach women like you say.

Just to give a little story when i met my first girlfriend abroad in the Dominican Republic. We were both 14 even though she looked like a hot smoking 21 year old with curves I was with my male cousin in the store getting food. I saw her with and chatted with her for a bit, i was thinking about asking for her number but i was so nervous because i kept telling myself she's too hot and she'll never go for a guy like me. My cousin hugged me in front her and asked her to give her number to me. She did and i couldn't believe it at the time. That is almost impossible to hear a story like that in America

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Feminism rewards men who exhibit degrees of feminine energy. Why do you think it is so popular to be gay now and why do you think American women love gay men?

Neurotic behavior is a symptom of this phenomenon.

[OutWest]

Feminism rewards men who exhibit degrees of feminine energy. Why do you think it is so popular to be gay now and why do you think American women love gay men?

Neurotic behavior is a symptom of this phenomenon.

Unfortunately, few American men can grasp what you say...
I guess it is pretty tough to wake up one day and realize
one has been "he-bitch" for years...
American women love homosexual men as it gives them
endless and unfettered moral permissions...

outwest

[Iawesome60]

Feminism rewards men who exhibit degrees of feminine energy. Why do you think it is so popular to be gay now and why do you think American women love gay men?

Neurotic behavior is a symptom of this phenomenon.

I agree with the posts from contrarian expatriate and well informed. Getting turned down is going to happen, but with Amerian women it's extremely high. All that rejection is going to take a toll like an athlete who keeps playing a sport (Tiger Woods is getting injuries from playing golf for a long time). American and Americanized women need to change.

[Banano]

It's the culture here in America; Mr.Peabody. American men don't approach as much as other men because of how AW are.
It's fine if you approach a woman and get rejected, that's fine (it happens to all of us). But when you keep approaching AW and you keep getting rejected, it will affect you emotionally at some point. This is what happens

1. You start to question yourself and your value. You start building inferiority complexes (i'm not brad pitt, not rich enough, not big enough, not tall enough) even though in reality you may be a decent average guy.

2. If you do something like approaching women and you keep getting negative reinforcement then you'll less likely do it again, to protect your ego. It's not healthy to think that all women wouldn't want to be with you.

3. You stop approaching or limit it because what's the point, in your mind you can already see what would happen if you did approach. You approach and she gets creeped out by you, has a platonic conversation that leads nowhere, or she has a boyfriend whether it's true or not.

So negative reinforcement compounded over years is why i think it's the biggest reason why American men are scared to approach women like you say.

Nice explanation.
that explains why anglos are the most gutless people on planet when it comes to approaching women.
When i first moved to australia i noticed that anglo men are so afraid and hopeless when they are around women, couldnt understand why.
Now after a decade living with them I fully understand why it is the case

[Repatriate]

Nice explanation.
that explains why anglos are the most gutless people on planet when it comes to approaching women.
When i first moved to australia i noticed that anglo men are so afraid and hopeless when they are around women, couldnt understand why.
Now after a decade living with them I fully understand why it is the case

A lot of the butt hurt passive aggressiveness and egotistical macho attitudes American men display towards one another is partly due to this perception of scarcity. They think that constantly downing other men and everyone else around them brings them up. It's the American style crab mentality.

There's nothing that screams douche-bag more than a guy who backstabs or clowns on their friends when they are around women. Men like this are insecure and have zero loyalty. It's one of my primary tells to figure out if a guy is worth hanging around or not.

[Think Different]

American women love homosexual men as it gives them
endless and unfettered moral permissions...

outwest

I'm curious what you meant by this comment. Can you elaborate on it? I have female friends that are totally feminist and that's fine, so long as we keep things on a professional level (which is all I'd want or expect from them anyhow). They act like they're too good for men and most of them are in mid-life and well on their way to spinsterhood with 4 cats. It's sad, since a few of them are gorgeous, but no guy would ever consider them romantically. These women, however absolutely ADORE gay men and prefer to hang around them. When I stand my ground and don't act like a pu$$y around these women though, they get indignant and ignore me for months at a time. Psychos, yes...

So, what do you mean by "endless and unfettered moral permissions"?

[jcris7]

1. You start to question yourself and your value. You start building inferiority complexes (i'm not brad pitt, not rich enough, not big enough, not tall enough) even though in reality you may be a decent average guy.

When you live in a culture like America with the corrupted AW who have unrealistic standards that have been installed via the media outlets that have a major influence on the standards for mate selection, you are fighting a losing battle...a rigged game. You could be dirt poor, but have a lean physique with single digit body fat, and women will still turn you down because you don't make enough money.

3. You stop approaching or limit it because what's the point, in your mind you can already see what would happen if you did approach. You approach and she gets creeped out by you, has a platonic conversation that leads nowhere, or she has a boyfriend whether it's true or not.

This just proves that interacting with AW is unnatural, fake and a frame is created for you to have to engage in a bullshit mental game of chess. AW have no compunctions about lying to your face. They are sociopaths. I once told my aunt how frustrated I was after I had a good conversation with a hot Asian chick in the bookstore. She dropped the BF bomb on me when I wanted to get together with her. I was very upfront and honest about my intentions. A feminazi would counter "we'll even if she doesn't have a boyfriend, that is her right to say that to you." My AUNT of all people actually said that to me when I told my her "what if she just said that to brush me off, even if she was single? I'd rather she be honest with me and flat out say "I'm just not interested." I've come to distrust AW -- anything coming out of their mouths is a bold faced lie. What they tell you, believe the opposite. I can attest to getting beat down by the constant rejection. The "I have a boyfriend" routine gets old after a while.

Just to give a little story when i met my first girlfriend abroad in the Dominican Republic. We were both 14 even though she looked like a hot smoking 21 year old with curves I was with my male cousin in the store getting food. I saw her with and chatted with her for a bit, i was thinking about asking for her number but i was so nervous because i kept telling myself she's too hot and she'll never go for a guy like me. My cousin hugged me in front her and asked her to give her number to me. She did and i couldn't believe it at the time. That is almost impossible to hear a story like that in America

That is an inspiring story that brought a smile to my face. No bullshit, no lies, no fronts. It also shows how you have to go through a de-programming from your American mindset to get into the groove of what is socially NATURAL and healthy.

[magnum]

Exactly, programming.


I feel american guys get a little too much negative feedback about how they are bitches.


they are programmed to be passive and not approach women is true though!

not a month ago I had this foreign Chinese girl come in to my shop, she had perfect legs....exercised all the time you could tell, had a conversation with her, she didn't get all stand offish like most women from america do.


so what did I do? I almost asked her out, but then all the programming kicked in..... "your hair isn't cut right" "she drives a better car" "she's gorgeous why would she go out with you" all these thoughts are instilled in are heads, it's unhealthy and it's more then negative thinking, because in america as a man you get negative reinforcement everyday all the day.

after she walked out of the shop I headed to the back room and kicked the bathroom door so hard it smashed a hole in the wall.

I missed a perfectly good opportunity with a woman who probably would have said yes, because I've been programmed to think I'm never good enough, even though I'm a little above avg in the looks department with abs.

What drives me crazy is, the females in my family say I'm single because I limit my self to foreign women only, or that I should go to church to find a good woman, or its part of gods plan.

its part of the femanists plan to keep me single, though I'm a christian church is for sheep, and couples that are sheep, I hardly see single women above 17, and what options do they think I would have if i didn't only date foreign women, out of the 4 women I've EVER dated in my life, 2 of them were foreign asians, and both the foreign women stuck around for a while.

I grow more and more desperate everyday.


If you think about it, how's a american guy supposed to learn to naturally interact with women?

the reactions we get will never be the same as the reactions foreign men get with foreign women.

a life time of negative rejection for not being good enough vs a man who grew up with nice feminine women who accepted the flirtation even if they didn't say yes to a date.

I can only imagine how fantastic it must feel to be one of these guys who grew up with positive reinforcement.


It makes me wonder if maybe that's why some foreign guys come here, and get are women and think we're chumps, they have so much success in there own country, when they come here they don't have the same mental chaos we do, giving them this false seance of easy dating here, when in reality its just that they have a accent and havn't been given enough time to understand are social problems in this country.

I fear if i ever leave this country I will remain single, because honestly...leaving the country doesn't make all my mental scars and learn reactions to women go away, I think I would make foreign women uneasy at first because in my mind I'm conditioning to treat them like american women.

[jamesbond]

If you think about it, how's a american guy supposed to learn to naturally interact with women?

the reactions we get will never be the same as the ones foreign men get with foreign women.

a life time of negative rejection for not being good enough vs a man who grew up with nice feminine women who accepted the flirtation even if they didn't say yes to a date.

I can only imagine how fantastic it must feel to be one of these guys who grew up with positive reinforcement.

That's a good point, how are men in the US supposed to learn how to interact with women when the women are not friendly or approachable? We get rejected so much from American women that our self confidence goes into the toliet after a while. Then, we just stop asking out women altogether.

It's funny how much more easy it is to interact with foreign women and even when they turn guys down, it's usually in a nice way. As a matter of fact, I have heard guys from eastern Europe and Russia say that sometimes when a woman from those countries turns a guy down, they may say, "I have a female friend who I think you would like."

In America, when a woman turns a guy down, she acts like she is "angry" that you approached her.

[The Arab]

Excellent posts by magnum and jamesbond.

Especially this post by magnum (it applies to me, in the sense of growing up in a patriarchal male society and high male self esteem)

I can only imagine how fantastic it must feel to be one of these guys who grew up with positive reinforcement.

I'll be back and expound on this and my own experience.

[Falcon]

OK. Take a look at these threads from SocialPhobiaWorld.com:

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/why-do ... man-19611/
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/love-shyness-719/

It's clear that many of those guys aren't technically love-shy. Here's what they're afraid of (from page 1 of "Why do love-shy men NOT want to show they like/love a woman?"):

No, the worst thing she can do is to make it publicly known that you have emotions for her, and how unheard-of that is. She can get scared and call the police, and tell them that you made unwanted sexual advances on her, simply for having said that you actually like her a lot.

Yes, and what about the possibly destroyed career, or the problems that can arise from such an unprovidential situation?

the other reason is this: SEXUAL attraction is a very touchy subject. Expressing sexual attraction can make you look like a pervert. You never know when it's right. Sexual feelings, ARE something to be careful about. You don't know if the woman will like it or not, say you are sexually harrassing her, etc. and out of respect I don't want to be too explicit about them.

that goes for "love" feelings also, because it's all sexual.

maybe I just didn't grow up around people who could have shown me that it's ok to have and show sexual/romantic feelings toward a woman. To me I feel like a beast if I don't know that it's ok. Even when people tell me that it is ok, I don't. It can ruin your professional career, everything because you are RISKING IT. Sexual harassment is not something to **** with, obviously. And many girls use it to their advantage as you can see.

and that's why I'm not at all ok about showing such feelings with women. And I feel it is very wrong for women (or men) to think you are gay, or weak, unmasculine, p***y because of this. I think it is also wrong for a woman to consider you asexual, and therefore never developing, and considering you for "romance" or anything, even calling it OFFENSIVE because you are not overtly sexual with her.

American sexual harassment laws are very harsh and are now widely abused by many women.

[jamies924]

Ha ha ha, this is a good post and I believe I have an answer to your question. Here it goes: because they read artciles on how to approach women Yeah, that IS your answer. The more you think about something, the more you get insecure about it. Maybe it is juts because Pakistani men don't like to read?!