American Women Jokes LOL
Re: Let's laugh at American women
LOL
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Re: American Women Jokes LOL
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Re: American Women Jokes LOL
These are hilarious and true! LOL
http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/womenjokes.html
A quiet man, is a thinking man.
A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
Q: What do you call a woman without an asshole?
A: SINGLE!
Q: What do you call a letter from a feminist?
A: Hate male.
Q: What is the definition of eternity?
A: The time that elapses from when you come till she goes.
Q: Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips?
A: Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
Q: How much money do you need to satisfy a woman?
A: It is always just a little bit more.
Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits.
Q: What takes up 12 parking spaces?
A: 6 Women drivers.
Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: A $100 bill.
Q: What do you call a girl with PMS and ESP?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.
Q: Why did God create lesbians?
A: So feminists couldn't breed.
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q: What do you call a woman that has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.
Q: What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A: Women.
Q: What's the difference between your bonus and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your bonus.
LOL This one is great! LOL
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, feminists can't change anything.
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.
Q: What do you call a woman with an opinion?
A: Wrong.
Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with an opinion?
A: Wong
Q: What does f***ing a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?
A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.
Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry It!
Q: Why shouldn't you lie to a woman with PMS & GPS?
A: Because she's a bitch & she will find you.
Q: What's the smartest thing to ever come out a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's cock...
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.
Q: Why does a man like to see two women kiss each other?
A: Two less mouths that are bitching.
Q: Why can't women drive?
A: Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it's 20% off
Q: Why do women wear underwear?
A: Because workplace health and safety states 'all manholes must be covered when not in use'!
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
A: When her first words are, "A man once told me....."
Boy: "I named my dog after you"
Girl: "Aww because it's cute."
Boy: "No, because it's a b*tch."
Q: Why hasn't a female been to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!
Q: What do you call an all women workplace?
A: Unsupervised.
Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
A: So they will match the stove and fridge!
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore f***s everybody at the party, and a bitch f***s everybody at the party EXCEPT YOU.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q: Why did God make man first?
A: He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.
Q: Which is the odd one out: a woman, a microwave or a fridge?
A: The microwave, the other two leak when they're f***ed.
Q: Whats the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease?
A: One attacks the cow's brain and sends it f***ing mental, the other is an agricultural problem.
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Wedding Cake!
Q: What is the difference between a Feminist and a Dog?
A: You tell me!
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip the flat ones!
Q: What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?
A: One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo.
Q: How are women like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Q: What's the difference between a Woman with PMS and a Pit Bull?
A: Lipstick
Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
Men: Bros before Hoes.
Women: Sisters before Misters.
Q: What is the difference between good girl and a bad girl?
A: The good girl, goes out, goes home and goes to bed. The bad girl, goes out, goes to bed and then goes home.
Women fall in love with what they hear, men fall in love with what they can see, that's why women wear make up and men lie.
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambition.
Confucius says, "Women who sit on judges lap, get honorable discharge".
http://www.jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/womenjokes.html
A quiet man, is a thinking man.
A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Q: Why is life like a penis?
A: Women make it hard!
Q: What do you call a woman without an asshole?
A: SINGLE!
Q: What do you call a letter from a feminist?
A: Hate male.
Q: What is the definition of eternity?
A: The time that elapses from when you come till she goes.
Q: Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips?
A: Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
Q: How much money do you need to satisfy a woman?
A: It is always just a little bit more.
Q: What have women and condoms got in common?
A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits.
Q: What takes up 12 parking spaces?
A: 6 Women drivers.
Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time!
Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: A $100 bill.
Q: What do you call a girl with PMS and ESP?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it.
Q: What is the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After five years your job still sucks.
Q: Why did God create lesbians?
A: So feminists couldn't breed.
Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q: What do you call a woman that has lost 95% of her intelligence?
A: Divorced.
Q: What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A: Women.
Q: What's the difference between your bonus and your dick?
A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your bonus.
LOL This one is great! LOL
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, feminists can't change anything.
Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.
Q: What do you call a woman with an opinion?
A: Wrong.
Q: What do you call a Chinese woman with an opinion?
A: Wong
Q: What does f***ing a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?
A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean up.
Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry It!
Q: Why shouldn't you lie to a woman with PMS & GPS?
A: Because she's a bitch & she will find you.
Q: What's the smartest thing to ever come out a woman's mouth?
A: Einstein's cock...
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.
Q: Why does a man like to see two women kiss each other?
A: Two less mouths that are bitching.
Q: Why can't women drive?
A: Because there's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it's 20% off
Q: Why do women wear underwear?
A: Because workplace health and safety states 'all manholes must be covered when not in use'!
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Q: Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle?
A: She knows she's given her last blow job.
Q: How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent?
A: When her first words are, "A man once told me....."
Boy: "I named my dog after you"
Girl: "Aww because it's cute."
Boy: "No, because it's a b*tch."
Q: Why hasn't a female been to the moon?
A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!
Q: What do you call an all women workplace?
A: Unsupervised.
Q: Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
A: So they will match the stove and fridge!
Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore f***s everybody at the party, and a bitch f***s everybody at the party EXCEPT YOU.
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
Q: Why did God make man first?
A: He didn't want a woman looking over his shoulder.
Q: Which is the odd one out: a woman, a microwave or a fridge?
A: The microwave, the other two leak when they're f***ed.
Q: Whats the difference between PMS and Mad Cow Disease?
A: One attacks the cow's brain and sends it f***ing mental, the other is an agricultural problem.
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Wedding Cake!
Q: What is the difference between a Feminist and a Dog?
A: You tell me!
Q: How are women and rocks alike?
A: You skip the flat ones!
Q: What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?
A: One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo.
Q: How are women like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Q: What's the difference between a Woman with PMS and a Pit Bull?
A: Lipstick
Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
Men: Bros before Hoes.
Women: Sisters before Misters.
Q: What is the difference between good girl and a bad girl?
A: The good girl, goes out, goes home and goes to bed. The bad girl, goes out, goes to bed and then goes home.
Women fall in love with what they hear, men fall in love with what they can see, that's why women wear make up and men lie.
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
Women who strive to be equal to men lack ambition.
Confucius says, "Women who sit on judges lap, get honorable discharge".
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and SE Asia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Join my Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
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Re: American Women Jokes LOL
odbo wrote: ↑January 28th, 2011, 10:49 pm
^ very accurate!
Winston posted this on another thread but some western shemale jinxed it by responding. so please, if any women respond to this, don't bother trying to appeal to their logical side.
http://www.rooshv.com/42-things-wrong-w ... ican-women
42 Things Wrong With American Women
By Roosh
1. They’re fat.
2. They’re constantly glued to their phone.
3. They cut their hair short.
4. They’re more impressed by a crappy DJ than a doctor who saves lives.
5. They think being funny and witty is a quality that men love.
6. They listen to magazines like Cosmo when it comes to pleasing men.
7. They don’t know how to cook.
8. They wear flip-flops even when they’re not at the beach, pool, or in their house.
9. They have condoms in their drawers because they expect to have random sex with strange men.
10. They cannot dance. They also do not know how to sing or play basic musical instruments.
11. They idolize drug addicted celebrities, mimicking their brain-dead behaviors.
12. They acquire pets instead of putting effort into landing a quality man.
13. They don’t know how to be sexy.
14. They have standards way beyond their level of attractiveness.
15. They think having a good job means they’re a good catch.
16. They wear pajamas in public.
17. They like Twilight and The Secret.
18. Their idea of travel is going to the beach or France.
19. They have too many trashy tattoos.
20. They are proud to date multiple guys at the same time, as if they were men.
21. They are not close to their family, and would rather die than take care of aging parents.
22. They say filthy things in bed when you hardly know them.
23. They cockblock regularly.
24. They make lame excuses for not putting effort into their appearance.
25. They obsess about the environment above what is reasonable, even though they pollute more than 90% of people in the world.
26. They always lie by saying, “I’ve never done this before.�
27. They confuse being a challenge with being whiny and annoying.
28. They are acne prone.
29. They watch way too much TV.
30. On their way home from work, they put on dirty sneakers that don’t match their outfit.
31. They only dress up for special occasions, like a friend’s birthday, Presidential inauguration, or a Sex and the City movie premiere.
32. They like to age their skin prematurely through frequent tanning.
33. They insist on eating pizza or otherwise fattening food after a night of binge drinking.
34. They’re obsessed with cupcakes.
35. They care more about maintaining their career than a good home.
36. They rarely wear high heels.
37. They think dining out and eating food slathered with butter and salt makes them cultured.
38. They don’t speak a foreign language.
39. They are uncomfortable in their own skin.
40. They like Ikea furniture.
41. They have the intellectual curiosity of a dung beetle.
42. They go on and on about the stupidest shit.
That Roosv list is pretty accurate. Cant think of one I cant agree with. I sometimes overlook what a mental case they all are by looking at their beauty which is also isnt much. lol. I guess forgetting they have a mind when I want to bang them actually makes me forget they exist.
Introduce a little anarchy, upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos.
Become An Agent of Choas.
Become An Agent of Choas.
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