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American Women Jokes LOL

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odbo
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American Women Jokes LOL

Post by odbo » January 29th, 2011, 7:49 am

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^ very accurate! :o



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Winston posted this on another thread but some western shemale jinxed it by responding. so please, if any women respond to this, don't bother trying to appeal to their logical side.

http://www.rooshv.com/42-things-wrong-w ... ican-women

42 Things Wrong With American Women
By Roosh

1. They’re fat.

2. They’re constantly glued to their phone.

3. They cut their hair short.

4. They’re more impressed by a crappy DJ than a doctor who saves lives.

5. They think being funny and witty is a quality that men love.

6. They listen to magazines like Cosmo when it comes to pleasing men.

7. They don’t know how to cook.

8. They wear flip-flops even when they’re not at the beach, pool, or in their house.

9. They have condoms in their drawers because they expect to have random sex with strange men.

10. They cannot dance. They also do not know how to sing or play basic musical instruments.

11. They idolize drug addicted celebrities, mimicking their brain-dead behaviors.

12. They acquire pets instead of putting effort into landing a quality man.

13. They don’t know how to be sexy.

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14. They have standards way beyond their level of attractiveness.

15. They think having a good job means they’re a good catch.

16. They wear pajamas in public.

17. They like Twilight and The Secret.

18. Their idea of travel is going to the beach or France.

19. They have too many trashy tattoos.

20. They are proud to date multiple guys at the same time, as if they were men.

21. They are not close to their family, and would rather die than take care of aging parents.

22. They say filthy things in bed when you hardly know them.

23. They cockblock regularly.

24. They make lame excuses for not putting effort into their appearance.

25. They obsess about the environment above what is reasonable, even though they pollute more than 90% of people in the world.

26. They always lie by saying, “I’ve never done this before.�

27. They confuse being a challenge with being whiny and annoying.

28. They are acne prone.

29. They watch way too much TV.

30. On their way home from work, they put on dirty sneakers that don’t match their outfit.

31. They only dress up for special occasions, like a friend’s birthday, Presidential inauguration, or a Sex and the City movie premiere.

32. They like to age their skin prematurely through frequent tanning.

33. They insist on eating pizza or otherwise fattening food after a night of binge drinking.

34. They’re obsessed with cupcakes.

35. They care more about maintaining their career than a good home.

36. They rarely wear high heels.

37. They think dining out and eating food slathered with butter and salt makes them cultured.

38. They don’t speak a foreign language.

39. They are uncomfortable in their own skin.

40. They like Ikea furniture.

41. They have the intellectual curiosity of a dung beetle.

42. They go on and on about the stupidest shit.


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odbo
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Post by odbo » February 13th, 2011, 10:49 am

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onezero4u
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Post by onezero4u » February 13th, 2011, 3:13 pm

id buy a few tshirts of the china girl price list poster & wear it proudly
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.

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jamesbond
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Post by jamesbond » February 13th, 2011, 4:03 pm

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"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."

odbo
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Post by odbo » March 6th, 2011, 1:32 am

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
2 American men and 1 American woman
2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

One month later, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.

The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.

The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes here are low and it is not raining.

The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them both 'bloody wankers".

Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.

The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.

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HEAVEN IS WHEN YOU HAVE...

AN AMERICAN SALARY
A BRITISH HOME
CHINESE FOOD
A GERMAN CAR &
A LATIN WIFE

HELL IS WHEN YOU HAVE...

AN AMERICAN CAR
A BRITISH WIFE
A CHINESE HOME
GERMAN FOOD
A LATIN SALARY


source: http://www.ekmekci.com/humour.htm

odbo
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Post by odbo » April 25th, 2011, 3:09 am


TheLilAbs
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Jokes about American women

Post by TheLilAbs » May 7th, 2012, 5:33 am

Lol
Last edited by TheLilAbs on May 10th, 2012, 3:42 am, edited 2 times in total.

boycottamericanwomen
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Joined: January 8th, 2011, 12:50 am

Post by boycottamericanwomen » May 7th, 2012, 6:07 pm

Boycott American Women!
Attn: Please read "The TRUTH Be Told", a free eBook that can help save you from feminism and your guvment.

Read the book online
Download the book

The_Hero_of_Men
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Post by The_Hero_of_Men » May 7th, 2012, 6:10 pm

American women want 4 animals:

A jaguar in their garage,

A tiger in their bed,

A mink in their closet,

AND A JACKASS TO PAY FOR IT ALL!
Wielding the blade of evil's bane, he sealed the dark one away and gave the land light. This man, who traveled through time to save the land, was known as the Hero of Men. The man's tale was passed down through generations until it became legend...

boycottamericanwomen
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Post by boycottamericanwomen » May 7th, 2012, 6:13 pm

American women should all be enslaved under Islamic sharia and get their asses beaten by their Muslim husbands. LOL! How's that for a joke?
Attn: Please read "The TRUTH Be Told", a free eBook that can help save you from feminism and your guvment.

Read the book online
Download the book

All_That_Is_Man
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Post by All_That_Is_Man » May 8th, 2012, 4:56 am

I'm not much of a jokester these days, but here are some personal quotes from yours truly!

o “Behind every (potentially) great woman, is her jealous girlfriend(s) whom she feels she must impress.â€￾

o “I don’t have a girlfriend because I haven’t found a compulsive liar who I can stomach yet.â€￾

o “Like flies on shit, the asshole gets the girls.â€￾

o “God made Adam and Eve… NOT Madame Eve!!â€￾

o "Men
Women

Wo - Men
W.O. before Men
Wet Orifices before Men
And this is what woman is."

o "Woman is equivalent to a Man's rib
The rib is one-billionth of a Man
Woman is merely one-billionth of what Man is
Man is superior to Woman by law of God the creatorâ€￾


All mine.
"Manginas grovel. Men travel." - me (04/17/2012)

"I used to be one of those men who believed that men are better than women at everything. Then I stood corrected!
Women are better than men at... getting fat." - me (02/24/2013)

Black women suck at life.

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jamesbond
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Location: USA

Post by jamesbond » April 24th, 2014, 2:28 pm

The_Hero_of_Men wrote:American women want 4 animals:

A jaguar in their garage,

A tiger in their bed,

A mink in their closet,

AND A JACKASS TO PAY FOR IT ALL!
Hey, that's a good one! There are guys out there in America who will gladly be a "jackass" and pay for everything a woman wants. These guys are called "white knights" and "manginas." :D
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."

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Winston
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Post by Winston » May 5th, 2014, 6:45 pm

A little girl and her American mother were out and about.

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, “Mommy, How old are you?â€￾
The mother responded, “Honey, women don’t talk about their age. You’ll learn this as you get older.â€￾

The girl then asked, “Mommy, how much do you weigh?â€￾
Her mother responded again, “That’s another thing women don’t talk about. You’ll learn this, too, as you grow up.â€￾

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, “Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?â€￾
The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, “Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don’t want to talk about it now.â€￾

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend’s house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother’s conversation.

The girlfriend said, “All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother’s driver’s license. It’s just like a report card from school. It tells you everything.â€￾

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.
The little girl started off with, “Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You’re 32 years old.â€￾
The mother was very shocked. She asked, “Sweetheart, how do you know that?â€￾

The little girl shrugged and said, “I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds.â€￾
“Where did you learn that?â€￾

The little girl said, “I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an ‘F’ in sex.â€￾
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

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Winston
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Post by Winston » June 28th, 2014, 7:58 am

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Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

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Winston
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Post by Winston » August 23rd, 2014, 4:23 am

LOL you just can't win!

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Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne

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