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Funny Jokes thread

Posted: February 16th, 2009, 6:54 pm
by Winston
Here are some jokes I know to start off this board.

Q: How are blondes like screen doors?
A: The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Q: A smart blonde, smart brunette, and Santa Claus were walking along the road. Which one was in the lead?
A: The smart brunette, because the other two don't exist.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympics team?
A: Because everyone who can run, jump or swim has left the country.

Q: What's the difference between anal sex and microwave ovens?
A: The microwave oven doesn't brown the meat.

- This couple just got married and afterward, the man tattooed his wife's name, Wendy, on his penis. When his penis was not erect, it only showed the letters Wy, but when it was erect, it showed the full name Wendy. They went on their honeymoon in Jamaica. There they went to this nude beach. When the man went to the snack vendor for a snack, he noticed that this black guy there also had "Wy" tattooed on his penis. So he asked the vendor, "I got the same letters tattooed on my penis too! Do you have a woman named Wendy too?" He replied, "Nah. Mine says 'Welcome to Jamaica. Please enjoy your stay'".


Alright, well there's my start!

Post any good ones that you know.

Funny Jokes thread

Posted: April 24th, 2014, 2:16 pm
by Winston
Feel free to add more jokes.


A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'
The father answers,
'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom
and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room,
and googled each other.
There your mother agreed to a download
from my hard drive.
As soon as I was ready to upload,
we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button,
nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
'You got Male'

Posted: May 31st, 2014, 5:23 am
by Winston

Re: Funny Jokes thread

Posted: January 10th, 2019, 9:34 am
by Zambales
A couple are in their car driving along a country road one day when they come across a weasel lying in the middle of it.

The woman gets out the car.

"George, the poor things half dead. It's freezing cold, what shall we do?"

"Put it down your pants to warm it up"

"What about the smell?"

"Hold it's nose!"

Re: Funny Jokes thread

Posted: January 11th, 2019, 12:40 pm
by Johnny1975

Re: Funny Jokes thread

Posted: January 11th, 2019, 1:57 pm
by Zambales
"I need to examine you" the chiropodist says to me

So I took my cock out.

"That's not a foot!" she shrieked

"I know, but it's not far off"

Re: Funny Jokes thread

Posted: January 12th, 2019, 12:50 am
by Cornfed
A man is kneeling by the side of a cliff crying. Another man walks up to him and asks “Why are you crying?”. The first man replies “A busload of Japanese tourists just drove over this cliff”. The other man says “OK but why are you crying?”. The man replies “There were four empty seats”.