Physically and Emotionally Abandoned By Wife and Kicked Out!

JamesSa · Post by **JamesSa** » March 15th, 2009, 7:45 pm

In '06, I married my pregnant girlfriend who proposed to me after having kicked me out of our apartment (which I paid for, btw) 2 weeks earlier. This was a bad mistake serving as a harbinger for what would happen last night. Over the past three years, I've experienced pain, stress, deceit, and worst of all, physical and emotional abandonment.

I listened to popular advice and ignored my needs by putting hers before mines. Unfortunately, my best efforts were futile. She had an insatiable appetite for being critical, and I was on the receiving end as everything I did to please her was never sufficient.

Because I lacked the capacity to make her happy, she used it as justification to destroy trust in our marriage. On Fridays and Saturdays, she would go to her mom's to drop my son off under the pretense that she would be working overtime. But I eventually discovered she was actually going to bars with her slutty friend (who is also married) and chatting up boys there - even exchanging numbers. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw her online Verizon bill and whom she had been calling/texting.

My wife just kicked me out last night and I'm now staying with my parents. She had threatened to file false domestic abuse charges (even going so far as to threaten self-injury and then accusing me of hurting her) if I didn't leave last night. My wife has a great social life and plenty of men to choose from. Her friends had been telling her to leave me completely, and apparently, she acted on their advice.

I have reached the nadir now; typing each word is like slowing removing a dagger from my heart and the emotional blood is dropping on my keyboard. As I sit here writing, I can only imagine the fun (including sex) she's having with her friends and boy toys. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here alone, in my childhood room.

Were it not for Winston and others here, I would think no hope exists for someone such as me. But this forum and Winston's and Ladislav's books show me that it does.

Patience is something with which I'm going to have to contend. I can hardly wait to begin exploring the world soon to have a new social/dating life - beginning in June!

gmm567 · Post by **gmm567** » March 16th, 2009, 3:23 am

Jamessa..you're dealing with an emotionally immature women who on the one hand believes your not good enough ( and this is common by the way), and at the same time thinks she can be emotionally abusive. And she knows the law is on her side.

EvilBaga · Post by **EvilBaga** » March 16th, 2009, 3:27 am

You should read F Roger Devlin's Second Article "Rotating Polyandry and its Enforcers" and maybe then read the books that are reviewed in there.
http://public.box.net/mensarefugee26388

None of that is propaganda, just a deeper look into the female mind. Sadly, not very helpful as, as men and human beings, we try to think of our lady as the exception to the rule

The_Adventurer · Post by **The_Adventurer** » March 17th, 2009, 6:07 pm

At least you have the right idea. You know that it's time to get the hell out of the U.S. and find happiness abroad!

Kris · Post by **Kris** » March 17th, 2009, 6:43 pm

My wife just kicked me out last night and I'm now staying with my parents. She had threatened to file false domestic abuse charges (even going so far as to threaten self-injury and then accusing me of hurting her)

I'd carry one of those pocket tape recorders and get her to repeat what she threatened

momopi · Post by **momopi** » March 18th, 2009, 9:15 am

A few years ago, I meet an older gentlemen in Taipei airport who was flying from Cambodia. He told me that he was married and divorced twice in the US, before he said "screw up" and left it all behind to go abroad to do charity work. He's about 40-50 years old and married his 3rd wife, a 25 year old in Cambodia. For about $5000 he bought some land and a cottage under his new wife's name.

His comment was, if wife #3 ever left him, all he'd lose is $5k.

Post by **Winston** » March 18th, 2009, 9:41 am

That's sad. Aren't there organizations that can help you James? It's your house right? So how can she kick you out of it? Legally it's yours. You should go to the police and tell them that and file a report. That way, if she ever files anything, they will see that you filed first, thus you are the victim. Be firm and don't take shit like that.

Yeah, like Kris said, get a pocket tape recorder and tape whatever threats she makes.

Shokkers · Post by **Shokkers** » March 18th, 2009, 12:34 pm

Sorry this happened.

You'll probably want to take steps to have her evicted from your residence (work out the details with law enforcement). You can't get the bum's rush if you're on the lease.

The threat of a (false) Domestic Charge is potentially a criminal offense known as a "Fighting Ruckus" (Judges have ruled that inflammatory statements like threats such as these are illegal...but you'd need proof of her making one, of course). It's potentially slander in a civil suit, but you will need to prove her statements cost you a tangible amount of money (moving expenses, hardship, things of that nature).

There's a site called http://www.dontmakehermad.com which suggests using technology/surveillance to assist you legally.
You might also want to join http://www.standyourground.com to check out various links.

Anyway, if she's the type to make these threats, you're much better off without her.

Best, K.K.
http://www.rockherworld.net

JamesSa · Post by **JamesSa** » March 18th, 2009, 12:47 pm

Thanks guys for your input.

I've had zero contact with her, and this is the 4th day. Nor do I have any intention of contacting her. She requested that I not bother her, and stated I could only call if it's about my son. She also requested that I send a money order for child support once a month (which I agreed to do, and will keep a record of in case she ever takes me to court which I fully expect).

Winston, about the house: we don't own it. We rent the downstairs from another family who's friends with her aunt. The problem is, she was living there before we even met, and I was the one who moved in after we got married for the sake of convenience. She always wanted to get our own home and move out, but I delayed it because I knew she wanted me to buy it only to rape me later in court and have the new home all for herself.

My wife always badmouths me to her family and friends, and I experience bad vibes around them as a result. Her family and friends always have her back, and her relatives' friends who own the home wouldn't want me there if that's my wife's decision. I'm tired of living there anyway. Yes, I'm 5 hours away from son, and lonely and bored as hell. But I know it won't last forever. And I have an ongoing business generating money. It's not a lot, but I'll have several thousand saved up by June to leave this country and enough to live comfortably overseas every month (about $1,500 - $2,000 disposable income).

In the meantime, I'm running and doing push-ups and trying to stay motivated. My parents live in a small town (Ithaca, NY) whereas I had been living in NYC. The re-adjustment is tough, but I'm adaptable. That's the very reason why I can live globally!

Post by **Winston** » March 19th, 2009, 10:56 am

Well then she will be paying the rent from now on, if you're not living there right?

How does the child feel about all this?

JamesSa · Post by **JamesSa** » March 19th, 2009, 12:03 pm

Yes, she'll be paying rent on her own until she finds her next male victim to take care of her. Boy do I feel sorry for that guy because he will be emotionally and financially scammed by her in trying to please her!

My son is two, and we share a close bond. It would be far worse for him if he were older.

I texted my ex requesting to speak to him tonight. She's ignored me so far. Looking ahead it just want be the same having to visit him a few times a month. I want to be the one to tuck him into bed, read him stories, and play and sing songs with him. There is no chance for that except for a few times a month. F that! I don't care what anybody says: not having full custody of your kids will impair your relationship with them even if you try as hard as you can to be in that kid's life. I wonder if he'll even recognize my voice, because at his age, he forgets people quickly. His grandparents (on my side) are an example. Most of the influence will come from the mother, since he'll be with her most of the time. I'll certainly visit him whenever I'm in the states and continue to offer support.

I wish I could just go overseas right now, and recreate a new life. I'm tempted to empty as much as my 401k as possible. I'm getting my tax refunds in about 6 weeks, and combined with what I have saved up, maybe I can depart a month earlier. I'm so fed up with this juvenile drama.

Physically and Emotionally Abandoned By Wife and Kicked Out!

Physically and Emotionally Abandoned By Wife and Kicked Out!

?

Re: Physically and Emotionally Abandoned By Wife and Kicked