Happier Abroad Forum Community

A few months ago, I moved into a college apartment to be closer to campus. I was optimistic that finally having my own place with roommates would make it easier to meet friends and date. I was wrong... I have lived in my new place for three months and I still havent been able to befriend my roommates. We have friendly interactions at home, but I'm never included in their life beyond the apartment. They are old friends from the same city and they always go out together with their existing social circle and never invite me. Once, they said they were going to go play basketball with friends and I told them point blank that I like basketball and have played for years... Still no invite... Wtf? How is a guy supposed to make friends and date when social circles are so impenetrable?

Pretty common, unfortunately. Best bet would be to seek out friendship with transplants to the area. They're in the same situation as you.

If you go out and do things that you like ON YOUR OWN, you will eventually meet like minded people. Take a weekend course in your interests, use meetup.com to get together with like-minded people, and socialize in the scene where you fit in.

Yes, America is a socially insular place and most friendships are forged thru school, work, or formal associations. Keep that in mind as you work thru this issue.

Why do you want American friends? Americans are scum. Visit your local mosque to find decent people.

It's sad but true, trying to make friends with people in America is very difficult indeed. People in the USA tend to stick with the same people they grew up with and don't like meeting anyone new.

GoingAwol wrote: ↑

March 24th, 2019, 12:50 pm

A few months ago, I moved into a college apartment to be closer to campus. I was optimistic that finally having my own place with roommates would make it easier to meet friends and date. I was wrong... I have lived in my new place for three months and I still havent been able to befriend my roommates. We have friendly interactions at home, but I'm never included in their life beyond the apartment. They are old friends from the same city and they always go out together with their existing social circle and never invite me. Once, they said they were going to go play basketball with friends and I told them point blank that I like basketball and have played for years... Still no invite... Wtf? How is a guy supposed to make friends and date when social circles are so impenetrable?

I definitely feel you on this situation. It might be a long shot but you could ask if you could come along. Sometimes people are very set in their ways that the idea of inviting someone from their usual routine occurs to them. But otherwise, the best solution is definitely look for common interest groups and meetups as then you'd be exposed to far more people and can then form your own circle which would be better in the long run.

I would hardly call these people friends. What they said to you is beyond outrageous and is more cultish then in the true spirit of Christianity. I agree with seacee I would keep my distance, and if they wondered why, I would tell them.

America is the one of the worst country ever to make and meet/keep friends. Americans are scumbags and manipulative cowards

GoingAwol wrote: ↑

March 24th, 2019, 12:50 pm

A few months ago, I moved into a college apartment to be closer to campus. I was optimistic that finally having my own place with roommates would make it easier to meet friends and date. I was wrong... I have lived in my new place for three months and I still havent been able to befriend my roommates. We have friendly interactions at home, but I'm never included in their life beyond the apartment. They are old friends from the same city and they always go out together with their existing social circle and never invite me. Once, they said they were going to go play basketball with friends and I told them point blank that I like basketball and have played for years... Still no invite... Wtf? How is a guy supposed to make friends and date when social circles are so impenetrable?

I've had similar experiences. Americans are all trash. Just move to Europe or somewhere else man. Life will be much better.

kangarunner wrote: ↑

February 6th, 2024, 2:44 am

GoingAwol wrote: ↑

March 24th, 2019, 12:50 pm

A few months ago, I moved into a college apartment to be closer to campus. I was optimistic that finally having my own place with roommates would make it easier to meet friends and date. I was wrong... I have lived in my new place for three months and I still havent been able to befriend my roommates. We have friendly interactions at home, but I'm never included in their life beyond the apartment. They are old friends from the same city and they always go out together with their existing social circle and never invite me. Once, they said they were going to go play basketball with friends and I told them point blank that I like basketball and have played for years... Still no invite... Wtf? How is a guy supposed to make friends and date when social circles are so impenetrable?

I've had similar experiences. Americans are all trash. Just move to Europe or somewhere else man. Life will be much better.

Same here, most Americans are trash, politically correct maggots, lying cowards, backstabbers, gossipers, cold, cliquish, insular, unimaginative,
philistine, soulless, and dastardly fools.

So even for a white american it's really hard to make friends huh?

It's totally impossible now, man. Congress has criminalized all friendships nationwide in the United States and made all friendships a Federal criminal offense punishable by automatic prison for all involved. Not only is making friends in this country known as statutory stalking, but it also now constitutes the Federal felony offense of economic disruption which carries a sentence of one hundred seventy five (175) years to life in prison for all involved. Under Federal law now, all friendships are considered a disruption to the economy.

Mercury wrote: ↑

March 9th, 2024, 8:01 pm

It's totally impossible now, man. Congress has criminalized all friendships nationwide in the United States and made all friendships a Federal criminal offense punishable by automatic prison for all involved. Not only is making friends in this country known as statutory stalking, but it also now constitutes the Federal felony offense of economic disruption which carries a sentence of one hundred seventy five (175) years to life in prison for all involved. Under Federal law now, all friendships are considered a disruption to the economy.

Don't forget the Death Penalty by Lethal Injection, Electric Chair, and Firing Squad if you are attempting to make friends.

That's kinda common

Mercury wrote: ↑

March 9th, 2024, 8:01 pm

It's totally impossible now, man. Congress has criminalized all friendships nationwide in the United States and made all friendships a Federal criminal offense punishable by automatic prison for all involved. Not only is making friends in this country known as statutory stalking, but it also now constitutes the Federal felony offense of economic disruption which carries a sentence of one hundred seventy five (175) years to life in prison for all involved. Under Federal law now, all friendships are considered a disruption to the economy.

Mercury's comments are containing always something which is not so wrong but what he says is exaggerated.

It is however not wrong to say that to find good friends in Western countries is very difficult, especially a nice honest female friend who is still available for a long term relationship.

It's not only USA, but in Canada, large part of Europe, Australia - everywhere the same. Plenty of scammers, single mothers with several children from several boyfriends, young women into drugs and alcohol and nightlife, women who sozialize and prefer to be in contact with criminals...
Surely these females are no good material to be a girlfriend and future wife and what I have seen, USA is surely one of the worst places worldwide looking for a partner.

The situation is pretty bad for average Western men who do not own much and work all the time for a moderate income - you will not miss much if you prefer to be single in case you cannot relocate to other foreign countries - but you will not end up with 175 years in jail.

The only problem I see for many single men is how to overcome loneliness, this is not always easy.

You can be lonely surrounded by others, when I first joined the army I had no friends and was surrounded by arseholes but I eventually made a lot of friends and some of whom I am still in touch with to this day - loneliness is a state of mind - I like being on my own and I always have - when I have tried to integrate myself with groups of people I have never felt comfortable - like now for example - there's a bunch of guys where I work who sometimes hang with each other - nice enough guys and I have nothing against them but I am super comfortable in my own company and have no massive interest in hanging out with them after work - some people take this kind of behaviour personally but it aint my problem. I try to be polite and helpful when I can but I realised that I am not happy with hanging out in groups and having 'friends' as a constant social companionship group - I have friends of course but I might see them once a year when I go home - I am at that age where I am not that bothered if I don't make any more. Maybe for younger people it is more of a problem I don't know.

@Yohan makes a good point about women - my dad's neighbour was talking to him about his recent ex who left him and he stated that she was only with him because he was on his own and had a nice house (he does...) and I wouldn't have believed it until I saw a British documentary last year about some young woman being on the verge of homelessness who stated she would marry someone to get a mortgage and on the property ladder in the city where she lives because she couldn't afford it on her own - she was nothing to look at but she wasn't interested in love or romance, she was more interested in having somewhere permanent to live! And my neighbour who is in his thirties says that a lot of single mothers, women without many options (more than you think...) who are looking for a single guy with a house to latch onto or like in that documentary - taking a pragmatic approach to the cost of living situation that exists in the western world and marrying for getting on the property ladder. Amazing! Keep out of it! No wonder MGTOW is catching on!