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Vent your rants and raves here about whatever makes you mad, angry or frustrated.
12 posts • Page 1 of 1
I have known this girl since German class of high school, one of few people I have kept in touch with since but she has come through for me in my adult years and I regard her as a sister. Aside from the fact she has three kids with this other guy, I don't have to deal with her every night when she goes out to drink too much, punch her boyfriend and then fall flat on the pavement. We have been out before and strangers think we are dating, which we aren't because I am the one man in her life not trying to screw her. She also introduced me to someone else that I also regard as a sister, whom I connect with intellectually but not sexually therefore making her a terrific drinking buddy.
So I know being "friend-zoned" usually sucks but do you just want to have sex with a woman or do you want to commit long-term?
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More information would be helpful. Such as where you from? Why have you had this relation so long? and what is your relationship like with this woman?
You know her before she had three kids? and though she is obviously attractive. Shes not your type or you dont want to get involved with her. It appears though it could just be a friendship there is enough tnt in there to create frizzles.
I of course friendzone women all the time. Its what successful men with taste do. Though not generally. When i notice a woman im not interested is interested in me i usually antagonize her. Make her see awful things about me that way she wont like me. I tend to get under their skin and make them think of me as unlikable. Act unromantic and crude. Other times I pretend im interested in other women, or act like womanizer. Say gross things and act like I screw things without any regard.
It is possible to be friends with a woman but if you are thinking about other things then its not good for you and probably acceptable as a friendship.
I am from Texas and at the time I met this girl I wasn't dating anybody due to my depressed loner phase. We reconnected at some point and one birthday everybody had forgotten about me except for her, which has cemented her as one of my good friends among fake friends. And she vouches for me when we go out and other women are looking for fun.
Why have you had this relation so long?
You know her before she had three kids?
Being friendzone sucks only when it is you who is being friendzoned and your the one that wants it. I'd save you the trouble and not commit to this woman in any sort of intimate way because you will only tangle yourself in a outcome that you will not like. Its okay to sleep around. Its best to commit long-term. Its great to have women friends. Its beautiful to have women friends that care about you. You dont want to mix great friends with sex( they always end bad). You can have wonderful girlfriends that you dont sleep with. Its okay. Its okay if your attracted to your friends but you dont have to sleep with them. The fact that she is with a guy and has 3 kids with him is a enough red-light for you not to get involved. Your not going to take care of her three children and make her get rid of the guy for a laid are you? are you going to risk a good friendship because of sex? Just find someone else.
I've got a lot of female friends, they're great for building social connections and to disarm other women when you're out. Basically, if a girl sees you with another attractive girl, they both figure you must not be a creeper because you're hanging with someone that's attractive and isn't creeped out by you, and also that you must have some value for her to keep you around. They also might misconstrue your relationship and get subconsciously jealous, which gives you the upper hand by default in interactions. Finally, I've slept with maybe half of my female friends, if not more. It eventually just happened with a lot of them. I never got attached and didn't make it weird after so it was fine, though there's usually a rocky week after where you're trying to figure out things.
Maybe so. But this friends with benefits you got going on wont translate long term and wont make it a good friendship. Once you cross this line your bound to have it go sour and if somehow it does go long-term your friends significant other might not be so accepting.
I for one am very skeptical about my girls boyfriends. I tend to read it quick and if I sense something I dont like you can bet I'll be putting her in the b***y list coming to the out the door list.
I've yet to lose a friend over it. The ones who have boyfriends that would mind just don't tell them, and it's not like us having sex years in the past matters really.
You and I have a different concept of friendship.
My girlfriend doesnt have to tell me for me to smell whats going on.
If it doesnt matter why do it? Your friends( with benefits) am afraid aint friends of quality as there's no respect let alone self-respect. A woman who freely gives her cuch out, adding her friends to the list, isnt worth a damn. Doesnt value herself and dont think she values you either as your just a pastime of her many passing throughs.
I think you over-value sex. As to being able to tell what is going on, trust me, guys are bad at it. Had this one guy that refused to let a female friend of mine have male friends aside from myself because "I can trust you, you two just have zero chemistry and I can't see it ever happening." Meanwhile we'd gotten frisky three years prior, so as he walked away we both kind of laughed and rolled our eyes without saying a word.
These are high quality friends, the sort of people that can and have been there for me through difficult times. Sex is just sex, it's a thing people do for any number of reasons, and I couldn't care less about who they are or have slept with, that's not why I keep them around. We hang out, help each other when we're in need, advise in our general areas of expertise (we're all college educated to one degree or another and in a broad range of fields), help each other make connections personally and professionally, etc etc. Their sexual past is the least of my concern when we're talking real estate, recipes, or web design. They're a part of my community, and I appreciate them greatly.
Jaded community. Looks to me that you've never been deeply connected with a quality woman without having sex with them.
Believe me I'll know. Dont assume I'm most guys and if she acts in such ways dont think I'd put her in my quality book.
Contrary to your friends objection, I dont care if my girlfriend has boy friends. I dont keep them on a leash but once I find out they step out I kicked them out. I dont think you'd want me to take out my sensing agents but lets just say I do my research quite well. Not just by appearance, or eye test. I know there are plenty of treacherous bitches, enough not to trust anyone. I am very keen on having a slut book and a keepers.
The shallow and superficial girlfriends you have are quite common in rural areas, colleges, and career fields. But Im afraid such women though intelligent, attractive, and many times well off. NOT Of quality, worthy of trust, unreliable, and am afraid have low self-esteem and self worth.
It's just sex, I don't get what the big deal is. And there would be no way to know- we don't have any paper trail, we don't sext or talk about these events, it's just stuff that happened that no one knows but us. Literally no one most of the time aside from us and God.
Friendzone is nearly always fear of a certain future. The problem is, the uncertain future can always be better. On the other hand, the older we get the less throws of the dice... at some point you have to accept the hand you're dealt.