Winston wrote: ↑
January 12th, 2018, 10:38 pm
Well the rainstorm or typhoon was just one in a long series of events. It's a chain of events, like I told you. My subconscious mind also keeps making excuses. Perhaps for the reasons I stated in the previous post. It will tell me "just do this one more thing and then you can leave" but it will keep saying that for other things too. Each delay feels like "the last delay" and then it builds up to months.
Almost Everyone’s mind makes excuses, consciously or unconsciously. When the alarm goes off in the morning I want to sleep in and can’t stop my mind from thinking “another 5 mins” – it’s why we have the snooze button. By the time that your mind is making excuses it’s already in the active mind and not unconscious. By compartmentalizing thoughts, feelings, and actions, I get out of bed (action) regardless of what excuses my mind makes in another compartment.
If there’s too much stuff racing in your head, then you need to de-clutter toward minimalist mindset to rid negative thoughts like obsessive, avoidance, indecision & procrastination that distract/drains you. Empty your mind of impulses, wishes, desires and be like still water in a pond that reflects the sun, moon, and stars. Then focus on a singular goal like a droplet of water hitting the surface. In shooting sports this is trigger discipline where you exercise breathing rhythm control, trigger pull stages and singular focus on target.
Many people have timorous minds suffering from ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, DSPD, Racing or Intrusive Thoughts, etc. and found ways to overcome them. Korean actor Lee Joon came from poverty and suffered severe bipolar disorder, insomnia, and depression. He was OCD & perfectionist and would stay awake for 2 days working because he was never satisfied with his work. 10 years ago, he couldn’t manage his mental illness and lost his admissions to the prestigious Seoul University.
He went into the entertainment industry and was open about his struggles with mental illness, which ironically casted him into successful “tortured soul” character roles. Over a period of 10 years he slowly took control of his life with healthy lifestyle and physical fitness. Last year (2017) he found love with his co-star Jung So-Min from “My Father is Strange” (*) and was physically and mentally sound to enlist in the army. He was so physically fit that he placed first out of 183 cadets in basic training, against guys who were as much as 10 years younger.
Lee Joon didn’t surrender to his unconscious mind or blame the Gods. He got off his butt and hit the gym for healthy dose of endorphins, and his body was good enough to be a underwear model for Kiss Republic brand. If he wanted to go visit China he wouldn’t surrender to the thought “it’s too cold and traveling to China wouldn’t be pleasant”. Actually it’s sunny 82F during the day at Sanya this week (01/19). China is big enough that you can visit Harbin International Ice and Snow Festival in Harbin at below freezing, or get a tan at sunny Sanya beach right now: http://en.sanyatour.com/explore-events/
(*) All 53 episodes (52+1 special) of My Father is Strange
Korean Drama is avail on Youtube via KBS World TV with English subtitles for free:
Winston wrote: ↑
January 12th, 2018, 10:38 pm
But anyhow momopi, you can't just deny that supernatural forces exist. I know you're an Atheist, but I could easily give you LOTS and LOTS of evidence that supernatural forces really do exist
My issue with your post is not about the existence (or lack) of a creator of the universe. It’s about you ranting stuff like God hates you or is trapping you in Taiwan. If I were to take a leap of faith here, I’d say that the Creator of the Universe is most likely NOT INTERSTED
in micro-managing your love life or travel itinerary. So please, stop blaming upstairs.
In the Fables of Aesop there is a story of Hercules and the Wagoner. One day a Wagoner was driving a cart and the wheel sank into the mud. The Wagoner knelt and prayed to the Heavens for help from Hercules the Strong. A great voice boomed from the Heavens: “PUT YOUR SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL”.
Winston wrote: ↑
January 12th, 2018, 10:38 pm
Btw momopi, you forgot to add Murphy's Law to the list above too. lol. I know you probably don't believe in that either. However it is definitely real in some way, because as mentioned before, if things happen in a consistent pattern, then technically that cannot be due to coincidence or chance, as you atheists want to attribute everything to as though "chance" were your God because you hate the real God, as Adama said. And yes there are definite patterns to Murphy's Law, so it is a real force. I have many examples of that, whether you believe them or not, they are still real. Even Rock, Dianne and others have witnessed Murphy's Law events happen around me and noticed that there is some force that constantly delays me and causes obstacles to screw me up, in ways that cannot be attributed to normal chance or coincidence.<snip>
Instead of words like “murphy’s law” or “hopeless”, consider using the 1980s arcade game “frogger” instead. Life’s challenges are like crossing the street as a frog where cars, trucks, and buses are there to run you over:
Citing recent personal example, I faced a number of incidents last year that spilled over to Jan 2018. In 2017 my friend Amy passed away at 38 from ovarian cancer, my father passed away at 80 from old age & health complications, and I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. The cost of funeral and cremation in Taiwan, then flying my father’s ashes back to US for burial had depleted my cash reserves. Then in first week of Jan one of my best friends was diagnosed with late stage pancreatic cancer, a storm caused roof leak at my income/rental house in Temecula, and I had to get a root canal and crown replacement at dentist which the insurance did not cover entirely.
Things got worse in the second week of Jan as my water heater in the primary residence/home leaked, I discovered that the drip pan’s drain pipe was actually not connected to the drain and it leaked water all over the hallway, 3 closets, bedroom, and 2 bathrooms. My wife was 6 weeks pregnant and started bleeding. I had to shut off the water main, call my wife’s property manager Mr Lee in Cerritos for help in sending a contractor, gave the house key to my neighbor Kim to ask her for help with the contractor, and take my wife to ER at Kaiser hospital.
We arrived at hospital around 6PM and waited in ER for 3 hours before OBGYN doctor arrived, only to tell us that he was getting off work at 9PM and another OBGYN doctor would come later to assist. My wife was still bleeding and by then we figured the pregnancy was a loss and best we could hope for was a clean miscarriage. I had taken glipizide earlier because we were going to have noodles for dinner and my blood sugar level was dropping (feeling faint). My in-law’s arrived at hospital but couldn’t reach us by phone due to poor reception in ER. OK that’s a lot of SUV’s aiming for my frog tonight.
My wife asked a nurse for assistance to use the restroom, I ran out to find the in-laws and returned to find that the nurse had abandoned my wife in the restroom. I asked another nurse for help and requested a small carton of apple juice to get my sugar level back up, and was given a small container of jello without a spoon. Finally, another OBGYN doctor came to ask us what we have been doing for over 3 hours and took my wife to ultrasound, as I ran out to the car to grab emergency ration bars from my get-home kit/bag.
By midnight they had determined that my wife had tubular pregnancy that bursted and caused internal bleeding, so they rolled her into pre-op for surgery. We had ultrasound done 3 days prior at same hospital and was told the results were inconclusive and to come back in 2 weeks. They really should have done more tests back then but it’s too late now. I was told to come back in 3 hours so I ran home to pack PJ’s and thermos with hot drink for my wife.
When I got home I found my water heater and pile of wood and drywall in the driveway. My neighbor knew that my wife was pregnant and instructed the contractor “better safe than sorry” for mold issues, so they cut out 2’ wood and drywall from floor across affected areas plus 3 door frames. So I had holes across 3 hallway closets, bedroom, and 2 bathrooms. No hot water and written estimate on kitchen table for $5,500 (both water damage and replacing water heater). Um, I have another hole in the roof at rental house at Temecula that needs fixing, dental bills for root canal/crown, and maybe $3,000 left in the bank? Does that truck have my frog’s name on it?
I cooked some salmon for dinner (had not eaten anything other than the energy bar for 12 hours) and went back to the hospital. They had to surgically remove one of her fallopian tubes, drain the blood from internal bleeding, and she was released at 4AM. I brought her home to a house that was in complete mess. Went to bed and woke up a few hours later, ate some oatmeal and took out an easel pad (large 25”x30” presentation notepads) and drew a T-chart labelled “issue” and “action” as follows:
Category A (critical urgency)
Issue: Taking care of wife
Action: Take wife to in-laws after she wakes up (no hot water at house for her to shower). Call my boss to explain situation and request few days off. For urgent issues I have my laptop and can work remotely as needed.
Issue: No hot water at house (wife can’t shower or bath, can’t run dishwasher, can’t do laundry on sanitation cycle)
Action: Call wife’s property manager Mr. Lee, explain situation and request assistance in getting new tankless water heater installed outside of the house (so it won’t leak inside again). My wife’s extended family has been doing business with Mr. Lee for over 20 years and I’m calling in favors.
Issue: Nails and screws. When the contractor ripped out wood, door frame and baseboards, they left the nails sticking out.
Action: Get toolbox from garage and remove or hammer exposed nails.
Category B (urgent)
Issue: House is a mess
Action: Call my house keeper Isabel, explain situation and ask her to come clean the best she can and launder the cloths, bedsheets, covers, etc. with a little bleach (never know what the cloths brought home from hospital environment). We have been using Isabel for about 10 years to clean the house every 2 weeks.
Issue: Need to call insurance for home warranty coverage on water damage in primary residence/home
Action: Call my insurance agent Allen and ask for help. From experience insurance company will take at least a week to get back to you and few weeks before an inspector comes. My family has been with the same agent since 1982 and I’m calling in favors.
Issue: Rental house in Temecula has hole in the roof, might rain later this week so tenant will complain
Action: Call my property manager Molly in Temecula, explain situation and ask her to get a handyman to throw a tarp over the roof. Contractors won’t arrive to inspect the roof until next week. I’ve been using her as my property manager for years.
Issue: Not enough cash on hand to pay for repairs
Action: Call financial advisor Joyce, explain situation and ask her to assist in determining what funds/assets to sell. My wife’s family has been using her for almost 20 years and I’ve been with her for 8 years.
Category C (can wait)
Issue: This Kaiser hospital sucks. If we had urgent life-threatening condition we might have died in ER waiting for a doctor.
Action: When we select insurance coverage next year, consider supplemental PPO coverage. And find a better hospital.
Issue: Did not have wife’s clothing in my emergency pack in trunk of car, had to run home to pack her cloths.
Action: Re-organize emergency pack/get-home bags in trunk to include couple pieces of clothing for wife. Replace expiring emergency rations and water packs.
Issue: Blood sugar level dropping and could not get juice
Action: Carry small packet of dry raisins.
Issue: Pregnancy was a loss
Action: Discuss with wife to pursue IVF option in 6 months.
Other items were added later (i.e. give my neighbor Kim box of chocolate to thank her for assistance, look up foods rich in iron for wife to off-set blood loss, etc.) but you get the idea. I started making phone calls for Cat A and B items down the list and when the wife woke up, I made her breakfast, packed her cloths and took her to the in-law’s. Then I went to local Korean spa for a soak (haven’t bathed in 2 days) and yukgaejang soup, which made me feel better but I knew that feeling better doesn’t equate to work done. It’s like people misunderstood each other when they say, “I know how you feel” but don’t really know, and trying to make the person feel better doesn’t fix the original problem –the water heater is not getting fixed by itself. I got off my ass and went home to finish removing/hammering the exposed nails.
The next day, between 8AM to Noon, my house keeper Isabel came to clean the house ($80) & brought a pot of caldo de res, my wife’s property manager Mr. Lee got a contractor over to install new tankless water heater outside ($3000), my Insurance Agent Allen got claims to do a write-up over the phone and sent a check for $3,200 (they assessed damage at $4200 with $1000 deductible), my property manager Molly’s father made cash offer to buy my investment house in Temecula @ $20K below market as-is condition (that is, if house is valued at $200K he will pay $180K. Deferring for now, but it’s fair deal), and our investment advisor Joyce sent several suggestions for funds to sell. By afternoon the house was cleaned, floors dry, sheets/covers replaced, laundry/dishes done, new water heater installed, hot soup on the stove, and I brought the wife back home. My frog crossed the street, hopped on to a lily pad and lived for another day.
All these people that I engaged for help, I don’t have emotional, spiritual, or intellectual connections with. I’m merely in long-term reciprocal relationships of mutual benefit. This is how “tree’ and “grass” type people live and if you disregard building these relationships as “superficial” or “materialistic”, then they won’t stand out in the street holding STOP signs to help your frog get across. If you want to be a “cloud” without them, then you need to learn how to run/jump very fast on your own. I’m not trying to make you feel better or think in circles, I’m just telling you that being a slow frog means roadkill.
And if you think staying home will avoid the cars and trucks aiming for your frog, there’s a bus out there with your frog’s name on it. My friend Amy had bad experiences with her father and boyfriend in college, had issues with androphobia and preferred being a recluse. She was religious and other than going to church she stayed home and telecommuted for work. Over the years we’ve tried taking her on outings to concerts, BBQ’s, hiking trips, shooting range, arranged dates, etc. but she preferred to go back home and stay there. Her bus came and ran her over with late stage ovarian cancer.
Regardless of your belief in (or lack of) the afterlife or reincarnation, going through THIS life is the FIRST TIME for all of us. Just because we lived yesterday doesn’t mean that we know all about tomorrow. As far as I know tomorrow's road could be full of trucks aiming for my frog, or mostly empty with some guy riding a bicycle. What I do know is that there's a timer on the bottom of the screen, and if I wait too long before jumping across, that bus with my frog's name on it will come for me regardless -- then it's game over. So, decide for yourself what you want to do. If you let delays and obstacles dominate your life and stay in place, you'll be roadkill when the timer runs out anyway.