Why do Filipinos NEVER share costs w/ foreigners or treat?!

[Yohan]

In my professional opinion:
Filipinas are whores, that is how they support themselves. And that is why they do not say and give away their secret.
The Pinays I talk to say that they borrow money from friends or neighbors. I guess they live off of each other. My guess is that this is only possible because the girls do sexual favors.

I don't think, this is a 'professional opinion', as there are many poor Filipinas who never consider any income related to any form of nightlife.

You got something totally wrong I guess - not every poor Filipina is a whore, and not every poor Filipino is a gangster.

Most poor Filipinas survive by living together in very small rented rooms sharing space and sharing all and everything what they own, clothes, food etc., they are often relatives, former class-mates, working in the same factory etc. and know and trust each other.
Some of them have children, so the girl without job at the moment takes care of all children.

It's not only about Filipinas, but about Filipinos as well - many low-income male workers just share rooms which often belong to the company they work for.

For example, the son of the caretaker of my foster daughter lives on a Cebu cargo ship since years, where he is working as a machinist, his income is php 14.000,-, free food, some medical care is also for free and he has his own small cabin and receives about 1 month paid vacation (About 2 weeks x 2 for X-mas and Easter = about 1 month) and 1 month bonus pay. He is not unhappy with that, it's about USD 300,- monthly, clothes are provided from the shipping line and it's a regular work. He does not spend any money while on the ship.

[Winston]

From ethan_sg:

"Been spending the weekend with my girlfriend, her sister and her mum. Cooked for us yesterday and today we brought her out for dinner and I was expecting to pay the bill but her mum secretly went to pay it when pretending to go to the restroom lol. Good sign? So far so good she seems to like me. Kept taking pictures of me and my gf together.

Can you imagine Filipino mums doing that? Secretly paying for a 300 rmb dinner bill when going to the restroom instead of letting the foreigner pay for it? Lol."

(Btw, 300 rmb = 50 dollars usd)

[WorldTraveler]

From ethan_sg:

"Been spending the weekend with my girlfriend, her sister and her mum. Cooked for us yesterday and today we brought her out for dinner and I was expecting to pay the bill but her mum secretly went to pay it when pretending to go to the restroom lol. Good sign? So far so good she seems to like me. Kept taking pictures of me and my gf together.

Can you imagine Filipino mums doing that? Secretly paying for a 300 rmb dinner bill when going to the restroom instead of letting the foreigner pay for it? Lol."

(Btw, 300 rmb = 50 dollars usd)

You must be dating a rich Chinese girl. Where is this girl from Mainland China?

[Winston]

WorldTraveler,
In China, normal working girls will treat guys to dinner or meals. Not all, but maybe half of them do. In contrast, almost no Filipino girls will treat a foreign guy, because the ones that have some money to buy meals in restaurants won't be hanging out with foreigners. lol. Only the Filipino girls that can't pay for anything, or won't, will hang out with foreigners, and they have no shame about the foreign guy paying for everything 100 percent of the time. lol

So it doesn't mean Ethan_sg's girl is rich, or that her mom is. Chinese are just much more generous about treating food to their friends and loved ones, including foreigners, than Filipinos are. Even rich Filipinos aren't very generous, I hear. Stinginess is just part of Filipino culture. Filipinos LOVE to receive, but not to give. They always salivate when it comes to receiving things from others for FREE! To receive things is the Filipino's highest desire. They definitely don't go by the Christian principle that "It is better to give than receive" despite being a Catholic country. lol

[Rock]

From ethan_sg:

"Been spending the weekend with my girlfriend, her sister and her mum. Cooked for us yesterday and today we brought her out for dinner and I was expecting to pay the bill but her mum secretly went to pay it when pretending to go to the restroom lol. Good sign? So far so good she seems to like me. Kept taking pictures of me and my gf together.

Can you imagine Filipino mums doing that? Secretly paying for a 300 rmb dinner bill when going to the restroom instead of letting the foreigner pay for it? Lol."

(Btw, 300 rmb = 50 dollars usd)

You must be dating a rich Chinese girl. Where is this girl from Mainland China?

They don't need to be rich to do that. Even some poorer families in China might behave that way. It's very much a part of the culture. My friend in USA married a Chinese girl a decade ago and brought her to States. Her parents worked for government and were considered middle class in Shenyang. Well even though this guy is 26 years her senior, the parents still sends money to the girl periodically to buy gifts for the 2 kids they had, etc. They've never asked for a dime from either of them.

In Taiwan, it's even more common. The parents will usually treat and be very generous, hospitable, and welcoming. Even when they don't like the guy, they may force themselves to be nice if he visits the house, offer tea, etc. Chinese tend to behave with dignity in this regard.

[starchild5]

India is on a same level of poverty as Philippines but Indians would share cost or most of the time, pay the entire bill while in restaurants. Its considered an insult if you go Dutch like in western countries.

Even Western people share cost, go dutch while going out with friends, in India, its extremely insulting to share cost of a meal. It works on understanding, if i pay this time, you pay next time...friends treating each other.

Many Indians feel awkward going out with Western friends as they have to share meal cost at the end.

Now, filipinos are on a entirely different level. They would NEVER TREAT YOU EVER even on x'mas or birthdays, you have to treat them on your birthday as well as theirs

Also, they would bring all their friends to tag along for free dinner and some guys would ask money to go back home from you. I'm not making this up, one of the girl i really wanted to be with, tagged her cousins, but the cousins wanted me to pay for their gas to come and meet me, they were totally disrespectful and ordered the most expensive drinks and food, but I had to give in because of this girl. I have not forgotten that incident after so many years as that was the most weird behavior i have seen. Indians are cheap too, but Filipino cheapness is beyond human decency on these matters...

[cdnFA]

I've heard two different things when it comes to dating in China.
The guy always pays and girls will split the bill. Oddly enough I don't recall anyone saying it is a mix, either someone says it is pretty much all one way and others who say the splitting is at least common. One of these groups isn't right.

OTOH, I've read many times and have been told by a Chinese girl that in non date situations people will often try very hard to take the bill for themselves.
OTOH a Hong Kong girl very recently never heard of this [while paying for my very expensive meal and even giving me most of her steak]

On an unrelated note, this is why when I make a comment about another country and people dismiss it because they were there and I was not I have to laugh. When I say something it is the result of a multitude of observations and often with comments on said observations from many sources.

That being said, from what I've read I have no idea how it normally works. I know my fire horse insists on paying her on way and even offered to chip in for gas because I live an hour away. One of the things I like about her.

Starchilds last paragraph sounds true from other sources. It really does sound like a horrible country. I wonder if Thai people are that bad.

[yick]

In China either you pay or the lady pays, you don't split bills, it is very - urgh - and rightly so.

Chinese women have paid for my dinner loads of times, now I am thinking - even when there has been no romantic interest, they have paid, and I have paid for them - when they pay, it is because you have paid previously and it is about taking turns.

Anyone who itemises a bill with a Chinese woman and expects her to go straight down the middle and expect romantic interest from them afterwards - well...

[cdnFA]

In China either you pay or the lady pays, you don't split bills, it is very - urgh - and rightly so.

Chinese women have paid for my dinner loads of times, now I am thinking - even when there has been no romantic interest, they have paid, and I have paid for them - when they pay, it is because you have paid previously and it is about taking turns.

Anyone who itemises a bill with a Chinese woman and expects her to go straight down the middle and expect romantic interest from them afterwards - well...

Well it's been working for me so far. I've tried paying her way, she just won't do it, at least not without a huge struggle and demands that she handles the next. It is just easier to let her have it her way. She is a bit of an oddball though.


Myself I am a huge fan of itemizing bills. If we are talking food at least, it is much more fair being a big fat white guy than going 50/50 or I pay you pay. Also alternating bills sets up the issue of the cost of each date. It is just much easier and more fair to pay your own way.

[momopi]

If your Chinese or Taiwanese parents fought to pay the dinner bill for their friends and relatives, it rubs off on their kids.

Most culture has hospitality elements. Arab bedouins offered 3 days of almost unconditional hospitality to strangers in ye olde days.

[yick]

Well it's been working for me so far.

What has?

If we are talking about women from Mainland China - well, they often do, they often buy you little presents and bring food to you. This is the conversation right, the difference between women from Mainland China and Filipinas. Are you in Mainland China? Are you going out with a Mainland Chinese woman?

Myself I am a huge fan of itemizing bills

Do that with a woman from Mainland China and you are going to last as long as a snowflake in the Sahara.

You are just going to make her lose face and a Chinese man would NEVER ever itemise a food bill.

Itemising bills is a very North American way of a paying a bill, do you think a Chinese woman is going to sit there whilst you go 'Well, I had the creme brulee and you had the salad and you owe 13 dollars and 68 cents'

f**k off - what planet are you living on?

You would never ever hear off her again - and rightly so.

Now - we are talking Chinese women in China vs Filipinas - if your girl is from somewhere else... well...

[droid]

Now, filipinos are on a entirely different level. They would NEVER TREAT YOU EVER even on x'mas or birthdays, you have to treat them on your birthday as well as theirs

Also, they would bring all their friends to tag along for free dinner and some guys would ask money to go back home from you. I'm not making this up, one of the girl i really wanted to be with, tagged her cousins, but the cousins wanted me to pay for their gas to come and meet me, they were totally disrespectful and ordered the most expensive drinks and food, but I had to give in because of this girl. I have not forgotten that incident after so many years as that was the most weird behavior i have seen. Indians are cheap too, but Filipino cheapness is beyond human decency on these matters...

[cdnFA]

Well it's been working for me so far.

What has?

If we are talking about women from Mainland China - well, they often do, they often buy you little presents and bring food to you. This is the conversation right, the difference between women from Mainland China and Filipinas. Are you in Mainland China? Are you going out with a Mainland Chinese woman?

Myself I am a huge fan of itemizing bills

Do that with a woman from Mainland China and you are going to last as long as a snowflake in the Sahara.

You are just going to make her lose face and a Chinese man would NEVER ever itemise a food bill.

Itemising bills is a very North American way of a paying a bill, do you think a Chinese woman is going to sit there whilst you go 'Well, I had the creme brulee and you had the salad and you owe 13 dollars and 68 cents'

f**k off - what planet are you living on?

You would never ever hear off her again - and rightly so.

Now - we are talking Chinese women in China vs Filipinas - if your girl is from somewhere else... well...

30 years PRC 20 in Canada. Seems to have picked up nothing of Canadian ways. Never bought me a present, offered to pay at Timmies [small stuff] offered to pay for a movie once because she had enough points on here Scene card, but I paid because she seemed like she could use a bit of nice treatment. She paid the next time.
Usually get get our own stuff. Both times we hit a restaurant, first time I had beforehand said I'd pay and she forced money at me, second time she just gave me roughly half. Both times our meals were the same. I can't really see a way where my side of the bill would be less than hers, her BMI is in the 18 to 19 range.
So both times she gave me enough to cover roughly half and hour sides were both roughly the same [first was buffet, second I dailed the pigotry down a bit. If I had something more expensive, I wouldn't make her pay half. No way.

Also we are in North America, so meh. If she was having the chicken and ribs with salad, desert and coffee and I was having the basic quarter chick dark meat with tap water, I'd feel pretty rough done by if she expected to go halfsies. I think she knows this, I praise her to high heaven over her inability to have me pay her way, we have talked about bill paying several times, she must know where I stand.

I mean my feelings gotta count for something, or am I supposed to just eat bitter everytime a female demands something I have a severe problem with.

[cdnFA]

I will add that it is her willingness to cover her side of things from the very start without even the slightest expectation as well as her willing to pay for our first movie together [with points that she would likely never use herself] and her offer [refused] to chip in on gas makes me very willing to pay her full fare on occasion. Something I would normally be very opposed to.

[dancilley]

I feel that the man paying 100% of the time is ideal. Doesn't it make you feel good about yourself if you are the one providing?

Doesn't it feel good to be The Man?

Don't you want to develop a habit of always giving more than you receive?

Don't you feel excited knowing that you are in control of your life and you pay for everything?

If you expect other people to pay for something, and then they don't, that creates resentment...wouldn't you like to guarantee to never feel resentment ever again?

I love the idea of always paying for everything. And because I'm paying, I get to choose where to go and what to do. I get to buy what I want. I provide the house, the food, the clothes, everything.

And if anyone complains, you should have the ability to discontinue being around that person. Don't get addicted to any woman. Always be in control. Communicate repeatedly about what the expectations are, so that it's perfectly clear what the girl should expect. Again, if the girl complains, then you need to have the ability to separate from her. But most guys probably get addicted to their woman and do what she wants.

I am still addicted to my ex girlfriend. She stopped having sex with me well over a year ago, but I am still seeing her every day. This won't happen again though. I am going to ensure that I get what I want in my next relationship. I am going to tell the girl that I must have sex twice a day, every day...but if she doesn't want to have sex one day...I won't argue with her or complain...I will just say, "Goodbye."

This is also why I am interested in dating multiple women, so that if one leaves, I will still have others. And, if I have multiple women, each woman will not have to be pressured to give sex as much.

I am going to try to never complain about anything ever again, but instead, change what I can so that I get what I want. I have complained a lot in my life, due to being addicted to my present situation or being afraid to change.