The Quadruple Whammy against single guys in America!

[Winston]

Dating is the worst in America because of the following major obstacle and barriers:

1. Women in America don't talk to strangers. So you can't really go out and meet them in any natural friendly way, unless you have connecting friends. You can't approach them or just walk up and talk to them (like you can in most other countries). Nor can you flirt with them either. To attempt to do so is considered taboo, creepy and inappropriate. They have an antisocial ice wall around them and a cold uninviting vibe. Around people, they act very standoffish.

To make matters worse, in American social culture, people don't talk to strangers unless it's business-related, or they have connecting friends. So the general social culture is against you as well.

2. Every desirable girl and woman claims she's taken. And most of them actually are, though some may say that to ward you off. Out in public, every girl seems to already have a guy. You don't see any single available girls that are looking to meet someone. And if they are single, they are either not looking or too picky. So overall, they are all either taken, not looking, too picky, too young, or too fat and unattractive.

It's a no-win situation where many single guys have no options or choices. There is definitely a severe shortage of quality desirable single women for sure, unlike in many other countries, where quality single women are plentiful and in abundance. It's like if you didn't find a partner in high school or college, then you are completely shut out of dating and relationships in America, which totally sucks big-time.

3. Nearly all American women are super picky and only want the top 10 or 20 percent of men in terms of looks and status. This leaves a large percentage of single men out in the cold with no options or choices. So even if you do find single women you like, they are all going to reject you if you aren't considered a "hot guy" in America. Women are overvalued in America and have too many guys to choose from, so they become spoiled and super picky. They all think they deserve the best and have insanely high standards. Only a small percentage of men are good enough for them.

You will see many average looking women with tall attractive men in America, which means that those women are getting men who are better looking then they are. So if you are not a tall hot guy, then you have no chance, and every girl will tell you, "You're not my type". To get any woman, you'd have to lower your standards to rock bottom, which is crazy. Why would you want to do that when you have much better options abroad?

4. Most American women are very spoiled with a toxic personality and bad attitude. They act bitchy, angry and entitled, and are prone to having hot tempers. You must obey them (aka "listening to them") or else. You will not find any humility, humbleness or feminine sweetness in them. They are very self-centered and arrogant too.

So even if you are able to get into a relationship with them, you will have to put up with a bad personality and attitude, which is very emotionally and psychologically draining. They are like energy vampires and time bombs that will explode whenever anything doesn't go their way. It's like walking on eggshells, one mistake and they blow up or dump you. They are not relaxing to be around at all.

Also, the way they act and talk tends to be phony and artificial, so they are very hard to connect with and vibe with. As we all know, men are generally more down-to-earth than women are in America (except for older women). Even women themselves admit this. This creates a fundamental SCHISM between men and women, making it difficult for them to connect or relate to each other. If you are a down-to-earth authentic guy, American women will tend to find you boring or even look at you with contempt. It's really weird and messed up.

In summary: Women don't talk to strangers in America, so you can't really go out and meet them in a naturally friendly way. They all seem to be taken and unavailable too. If they are single, they will be super picky and only date a small percentage of guys who meet their high standards. But even if you are able to date them, you will find that they have a spoiled toxic personality with a bad attitude and hot temper, along with a phony arrogant demeanor. So they will not be easy to get along with at all.

All this combined constitutes a quadruple whammy against single men in America, making it the worst dating scene of all-time! It's like there are four impenetrable barriers blocking your way. Getting through even one of them is difficult enough, but four?! Basically, everything is against you if you're a single guy in America. It can be likened to a chess game where you have no move because your King is in check and cannot move to any adjacent square. All you can do is play a different game (abroad) where you have actual moves on a fair playing field. All this is very obvious but you are not allowed to talk about it of course, because in America, only losers complain, even if they tell the truth.

The only way to overcome this quadruple whammy, if you want to stay in America, is to become popular within a large social network, which will give you more social opportunities to meet women. But this is not easy or natural at all. In order to achieve this, you have to fit in socially and conform. And to do that, you have to develop a fake, phony, artificial personality, because American social culture is fake, phony and artificial.

Additionally, the social vibe is also toxic, so you have to develop a toxic personality to fit into it as well. That's why there are so many toxic personalities in America. You can't just be yourself and fit in socially. No way. You gotta be some kind of poser. The whole thing is very awkward and unnatural to say the least. But even if you manage to join a good social network, it's still no guarantee that you will find a woman you like who likes you.

What this means is that if you are authentic and down-to-earth, and you insist on being yourself, then: You will not fit in socially, you will not be popular, you will not have a large social network, and you will not be able to overcome the quadruple whammy above. It's a very sad state of affairs, and needs to be exposed.

A much better solution is to go overseas, as I've explained, where you can be yourself and have a good social life and have real dating choices at the same time. Being able to get what you want, while being yourself, is definitely the best scenario by far. Thus going abroad is the most logical and sensible solution.

But most people don't tell you that. Instead, they tell you to change yourself or improve yourself, as if you must be the problem, even though you are not responsible for this quadruple whammy and did not make or create it. It's a huge victim-blaming fallacy. But that's how most people are conditioned to think unfortunately. Well, now you know better so you can stop listening to bad useless advice.

The New Age/self-help/motivational crowd will also give you useless advice. They will tell you that if you think positive and raise your "confidence" or "self-esteem", you can change all this. But that's not true at all, since self-esteem and positive thinking have NOTHING to do with any of these four whammies obviously. Such New Age claims are greatly exaggerated and will only lead you on a wild goose chase while filling your head with imaginary concepts that don't work and aren't realistic. I know because I tried them many times and they accomplished nothing.

At best, such New Age teachings will only help you to feel better temporarily. They may help you to cope, and they may help you to feel positive and motivated too. But positive thoughts are NOT going to solve your problems. Nor will they change any of the four whammies. Thus the self-help industry is really no different than therapy. Now use basic logic here. If real problems were easy to solve (i.e. by thinking positive thoughts), then they would not be real problems. Duh. There is so much bullcrap in the New Age movement these days.

The key difference between us and the New Age/self-help/motivational movement is this: We have real solutions. They don't. They unjustly and falsely try to pin the blame on you. We don't. They give you useless crap. We give you useful substance. Enough said.

[jamesbond]

Dating is the worst in America because:

1. Women in America don't talk to strangers. So you can't really meet them unless you have connecting friends. You can't approach them or just walk up and talk to them (like you can in most other countries). To attempt to do so is taboo, creepy and inappropriate. They have a very paranoid vibe and cold antisocial ice wall around them, and are standoffish toward men. Generally, in American social culture, people don't talk to strangers unless it's business-related, or they have connecting friends. So the general social culture is against you as well.

2. Every desirable girl and woman claims she's taken. And most of them actually are, though some may say that to ward you off. Out in public, every girl seems to already have a guy. You don't see any single available girls that are looking to meet someone. And if they are single, then they are either not looking or too picky. So overall, they are all either taken, not looking, too picky, too young, or too fat and unattractive. It's a no-win situation where many single guys have no options or choices. There is definitely a severe shortage of quality desirable single women for sure, unlike in many other countries, where quality single women are plentiful and in abundance. It's like, if you didn't find a partner in high school or college in America, you are completely shut out of dating and relationships, which totally sucks big-time.

Yes, it does seem as if every desirable girl is "taken" and not available. It also seems as if a lot of people meet their future spouse in high school or college.

I heard a statistic on the news that said in America, 63% of people met their future spouse through a friend. It does seem as if meeting women through you friends is the only real way to meet women in the US.

America truly does have the worst dating scene for men in the entire world!

[newlifeinphilippines]

I wonder what the stats are in south east asia for how they meet their husband? From what ive seen it appears most meet their husbands through job or friends or neighbors or family also? I dont see a huge PUA or open dating market. Only cause were foreigners we open the door better to approach.

[steve55]

Brilliant! I like this synopsis because it's brief and to the point. Sadly though, the only men who know this is true are men who have dated abroad. The sad fact is that 99% of American men assume that all women are the same the world over, lol. If a man hasn't experienced what the dating and social scene is like in other countries, they will be blind to this analysis of yours.

[Winston]

Brilliant! I like this synopsis because it's brief and to the point. Sadly though, the only men who know this is true are men who have dated abroad. The sad fact is that 99% of American men assume that all women are the same the world over, lol. If a man hasn't experienced what the dating and social scene is like in other countries, they will be blind to this analysis of yours.

A man has to actually experience how foreign women are different before they will wake up and see these truths. Most American guys will just rot in their loneliness and singleness or at best have a few dates a year till the end of their days never discovering these truths that you have so brilliantly outlined.

Yeah but even if the guys didn't go overseas, they still have no solution to the quadruple whammy above. They will falsely assume that if they have more confidence, then it will change things. But that's not true. Being confident isn't going to change the fact that virtually all desirable women are taken, nor will it make you a hot guy if you aren't one. It's fake advice based on hype and illusion, like much of American culture is. They will also assume that if they go out more, then they will meet more girls. But going out more isn't going to change any of the four whammies above.

Even if they know that foreign women are better, most American guys will still make excuses not to go abroad.

I just added a summary of the quadruple whammy:

In summary: Women don't talk to strangers in America, so you can't really go out and meet them in a naturally friendly way. They all seem to be taken and unavailable too. If they are single, they will be super picky and only date a small percentage of guys who meet their high standards. But even if you are able to date them, you will find that they have a spoiled toxic personality with a bad attitude and hot temper, along with a phony artificial demeanor. So they will not be easy to get along with at all.

Doesn't that say it all? No one has a real solution to this except us. These four whammies are like four impenetrable barriers. Getting through one is extremely difficult, but all four?! Geez. Nothing could be more unfair or unnatural.

[Temprano26]

Winston, read my other thread about "positive thinking".

I was writing something similar to that about how people say you just need to think positive. Never mind that you cannot read into people's minds to know what they are thinking or what attitude they might have.

I had friends that told me I was a good looking guy but like you said, people don't notice other people and much of the time don't even like other people. I have gone out alone so many damn times and people refuse to even acknowledge that I am standing right there. I'll ask them a question, they'll answer it but then go back to talking to their friends and showing me the backs of their heads. Other people just ask me for a cigarette lighter or to use my phone and won't give back even one word in genuine conversation.

But of course these automated optimists just see the world in positive thinking or negative thinking. THE TRUTH is not always positive and REALITY does not always match positive thinking. It is time to call people out on their bull****.

[johnnyderp]

The only way to overcome this quadruple whammy, if you want to stay in America, is to become popular within a large social network, which will give you more social opportunities to meet women. But this is not easy or natural at all. In order to achieve this, you have to fit in socially and conform. And to do that, you have to develop a fake, phony, artificial personality, because American social culture is fake, phony and artificial. The social vibe is also toxic, so you have to develop a toxic personality to fit into it as well. That's why there are so many toxic personalities in America. You can't just be yourself and fit in socially. No way. You gotta be some kind of poser. The whole thing is very awkward and unnatural to say the least. But even if you manage to join a good social network, it's still no guarantee that you will find a woman you like who likes you.

What this means is that if you are authentic and down-to-earth, and you insist on being yourself, then: You will not fit in socially, you will not be popular, you will not have a large social network, and you will not be able to overcome the quadruple whammy above. It's a very sad state of affairs, and needs to be exposed.

Truth.

This is also the case in Australia. I can relate to this from experience, having developed a good social circle about 3 years ago, but this involved going to bars and nightclubs and becoming an entertainer/clown (to borrow a term from Roosh). Once you build a circle, you have more opportunities to meet women, which was ok to an extent. But none of these women were what I'm looking for in terms of long-term relationships.

For a naturally calm person like me, it's also incredibly draining emotionally to live this life. I'm easy-going and would prefer a casual chat in a cafe to the high-energy approach required for bars and nightclubs. In the end I decided to walk away from the crazy social scene for a more laid-back life with very little social interaction besides a few superficial friendships. There seems to be nothing in between in the Western world - you're either popular with a crazy social life, with opportunities to hook up with women in that social scene (once you're validated by the group) or you're a virtual recluse. This is why I loved Turkey and Greece - you can have a more balanced life, meeting people as you go about your daily routine.

The other downside of living in the Western social scene - the words I most dreaded from female acquaintances - "Oh, I have a friend xxxx who's single.. you two should get together... she's funny, intelligent, blah blah blah"... Without fail, these potential dates were fat, unattractive, masculine, tattooed, bottom-of-the-barrel...

And if you politely decline this offer, the so-called friend becomes offended, as if you have some moral obligation to date women you have zero attraction to. Women are pathetic when it comes to understanding male sexuality - they think we should be attracted to women with traits that they're attracted to in men. If i told a single female friend that I know a guy who's "kind, gentle, warm-hearted and loyal", i wonder if she'd beat the 100m Olympic record while running for the hills.

[DanielleNguyen]

Yeah, I guess your right. But the same goes for women. I mean I am a woman myself and trust me it's hard to find other girls to be friends with. I'm 22 and the only friend I have that's a girl is in her 30s, with 3 kids. When my husband and I moved in next to herI took her a gift and introduced myself much like in the 50s. We became really good friends. She's very honest and has autism. As weird as it is I think her autism makes her more kind then most people. But as for other girls everyone Is too materialistic. Walking through the mall the ladies kept talking about Sephora and Mary Kay. I thought they were talking about people not make up. And as I watched the ladies spend $400 on make up b/c it's name brand I settled for a cheaper target version and was given odd looks.

[Temprano26]

Actually Danielle, I remember a girl in high school with your name, she spent $200 on an eye shadow kit. At the time I was seriously in love with her but in the end she turned out to have a toxic drama queen persona.

But if it is so hard to make friends, why is it that every single time I go out I see 100% of women with their friends? I have never seen a woman go out alone ever. Her friends range from one or two to a whole table full of 15-20. I on the other hand had to go out alone every damn Saturday.

[DanielleNguyen]

Well I believe it's because I'm not willing to spend money or learn name brands. I'm not the let's all go to the bathroom together type. And too many women in America are gossipy. And trust me it's hard to fit in. Especially when you don't have money to spend. And $200 on a eyeshadow kit...who the hell does that? Was it made from gold?

[Temprano26]

That girl was 15 years old at the time and probably just as stupid now. She was very much absorbed into herself and she deliberately created drama among all of the "men" in her life. When I say "men" they were probably just guys that wanted to screw her. I was in the friend zone but as time has passed I have found higher quality women.

The most intelligent girl I have ever met in the US was in my massage course. She scored an A in every class, has a ton of interests, is in great physical shape, not a trace of narcissism, drama or arrogance. I couldn't believe she was from North America. She said she wants to leave America as soon as she can.

[Jester]

There seems to be nothing in between in the Western world - you're either popular with a crazy social life, with opportunities to hook up with women in that social scene (once you're validated by the group) or you're a virtual recluse. This is why I loved Turkey and Greece - you can have a more balanced life, meeting people as you go about your daily routine.

I hope you post more about meeting women in normal countries, how you did it.

Your experience in the Western world is exactly the same as mine. King of the hill, or nowhere man.

I've been both.

[Winston]

Well I believe it's because I'm not willing to spend money or learn name brands. I'm not the let's all go to the bathroom together type. And too many women in America are gossipy. And trust me it's hard to fit in. Especially when you don't have money to spend. And $200 on a eyeshadow kit...who the hell does that? Was it made from gold?

I believe you. American women have that antisocial unapproachable vibe that must also be felt by other women as well. You especially feel it if you are down-to-earth and authentic. Maybe you are too down-to-earth Danielle, so you feel their unfriendly vibe too and don't conform well with groups of women.

After all, to vibe with fake phony people, you gotta be fake and phony yourself. Otherwise they will think you are strange.

As a woman though, you can make friends easily with many guys in America though. Men like down-to-earth women. The problem with this is that many of those guys will try to get romantic with you.

[DanielleNguyen]

Yeah I am friends with my husband's Co workers. We even celebrate holidays together. And Winston none of them would ever get romantic with me, because a I am literally always by my husband's side holding his hand. Plus, all his friends are actually very trustworthy. I could never see them disrespecting my husband in that way. Men in America typically are easier to get along with.

[Winston]

Yeah I am friends with my husband's Co workers. We even celebrate holidays together. And Winston none of them would ever get romantic with me, because a I am literally always by my husband's side holding his hand. Plus, all his friends are actually very trustworthy. I could never see them disrespecting my husband in that way. Men in America typically are easier to get along with.

Yeah but I meant that if you went out alone, you could easily make friends with many guys. Some girls in America say that they prefer male friends because they are more down-to-earth and without the drama that girls have.