Why has the universe and my mind been BLOCKING me and PARALYZING me since 2012?!

[onethousandknives]

Winston, a sort of question I have for you, for how you view life in general. Do you view life as a fight or battle? I'm not the most accomplished person ever by any means, but I feel like I have this mindset, and this allows me to do a lot of things that are hard/I hate the process of to get the end result I want. I find it strange sometimes psychiatrists/etc suggest having this sort of mentality is bad, but I feel if you do not adopt this mentality and try to "enjoy" life instead of fighting life, you ultimately can't accomplish much without having a clear goal and mission to fight towards.

[Winston]

From a long text to my pen pal in Norway that applies to this thread topic:

Btw kari. U asked me about my travel plans. I forgot to explain something. The reason i dont like to make travel plans or any plans is because most of my plans dont happen or go according to plan. So making plans often results in disappointment. So i learned not to bother making plans. I have general outline plans yes but not specific plans. When i go abroad I have a rough outline plan only and i know it may be altered later depending on circumstance.

Furthermore i often feel the universe blocking my plans too and not allowing me free will to choose my destiny or plan.

For example i wanted to go to china in 2012. But i could not get there until 2015. I felt some invisible hand now allowing me to go even though i had my visa. By the time i arrived all the women i was gonna meet or maybe marry had lost interest or gotten married. so it was too late. So i cursed the universe and god for for years after that. Because by the time i went it was too late. Hence the universe doesnt allow me to go where i want until its too late. Maybe God knew i would get married to the wrong woman there so he blocked me. Or my higher self or guardian angel blocked me to prevent me from making a mistake. I was desperate to get married at the time. But chinese women are usually very materialistic so it could have been a bad marriage.

Another example is that i been wanting to return to Europe since 2005. But every year something delays or blocks me. This years its covid19 of course but last year and the year before it was something else. So my plans never come to fruition.

Thats why i rarely bother to make plans anymore.

Kind of like the TV show gilligans island. In that show in every episode they try to get off the island but something always goes wrong. Because thats the script of the show. I feel like theres a script in my life that doesnt allow me to choose my destiny. Its one of my biggest frustrations. Maybe i can ask Christina Lopez to explain to me why.

Do u experience anything like this too? Maybe my mind is divided into sections which conflict with each other. So my mind is not unified. Or maybe theres a conflict between mind and heart or flesh and spirit? Who knows. but something seems to intefere with my free will and conscious choices. Its hard to explain. But i tried my best. Do u get what i mean?

[fdiv]

Winston why are you using covid as a "Murphy's law" or "hidden invisible hand" excuse? You have a filipino son, so you can travel to the philippines still! They will let you in! Many of us don't have that option, but you do.

[GoingAwol]

Winston,
You are the typical Pisces. Two fish swimming in opposite directions, but still connected by a cord.

[Winston]

Winston why are you using covid as a "Murphy's law" or "hidden invisible hand" excuse? You have a filipino son, so you can travel to the philippines still! They will let you in! Many of us don't have that option, but you do.

Because it's not about legal problems or technical issues. Everyday I feel like something is blocking me and interfering with my free will and making excuses to trap me by giving me something to fix or change or download. It's been that way for 500 days in a row now. So that cannot be coincidence. Because if something happens everyday in a strong pattern over a long time, it cannot be chance. For sure, some force, whether God or parasitical entities or gods with small g, or archons or whatever, is definitely behind this. Whether you believe it or not, does not change the reality of that. Rock has tried praying for me, but to no avail. What can I do? Maybe the gods are behind this.

It could be that the entities in the 4D world have arranged to imprison me in countries I don't like, like Taiwan, to suck the lifeforce out of me like a battery to pay my "taxes or debt" to the universe since I don't work like other people? Or for some bad karma from a past life? Or I could be placed in low consciousness/low frequency countries like this in order to raise the consciousness and frequency of such nations, kind of like the "hundredth monkey effect" where a change in one organism affects all the other organisms collectively, which we do see in the animal and plant world.

We don't know what goes on behind the scenes in the spirit world. Just like in the business world, there are secret deals arranged all the time that are never publicized. So we could be just commodities that are bought and sold and auctioned off by the gods/deities/overlords/ETs that run our matrix or reality. Who knows. In the spirit world, anything is possible. Truth is stranger than fiction, so don't limit yourself to a fixed rigid set of beliefs.

These are my possible speculations to explain something illogical and bizarre that cannot be explained any other way. Or maybe I have a mental disorder, who knows. Whatever it is, it is not logical and goes against my free will and in fact is a violation of my free will. So I do not believe in free will, because I never experience free will, but not for the same reasons that Atheists don't of course.

It could also be that if you are a total freethinker and mentally free from the control system and slave matrix of this world, that you are seen as a threat, so the sytem increases murphy's law in your life by a drastic degree, so you feel like a perverse force out there has it out for you. Many in the truther community feel this way too. Google "targeted individuals". Once you are not part of the matrix, you become an invader and the host body sends its white blood cells to attack you, because you no longer serve the slave matrix system and are mentally liberated from it, hence you are a danger, just like a free radical cell in your body would be if it were to become truly free and independent and not serve your body anymore or conform to its duties.

These are all possible explanations. Or I could just have some mental problem with being too perfectionistic and mentally enslaved by OCD and procrastination. However, I don't believe in coincidences anymore and when you reach a certain level of consciousness, you don't either. So this western male proclivity to believe that everything is a coincidence and due to evolution only, is definitely a fallacy for sure.

Btw, check out this Buddhist Sifu in Taiwan explaining about what to do if you feel that "ghosts" are blocking you. Apparently you can call upon Buddhas and Bodhisattvas for help, in some form of Asian Buddhist, such as Pure Land Buddhism. Remember there are many types of Buddhism, some involve deity worship, and others do not, only meditation and rituals.

[Shemp]

I recommended an exorcism in the other thread, but there are other purification rites that might help. For example, I went swimming in the river in Kyiv this past January. It was -13°C (8°F) air temperature and slightly above freezing in the water under the ice. Maybe try something like that next winter. Alternatively, you could try smoking the demons out using hot steam baths. Or a 30 day water fast. Or a long journey on foot, carrying just a small backpack and sleeping on the ground each night. Homelessness has a very powerful effect on the mind.

[Daddy Wu]

WINSTON! My son!!

Because it's not about [GAB-GAB, GAB-GAB, GAB-GAB...]

What can I do?

Daddy very glad you ask!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrsZ4GA_Yzw

Love,
Your Daddy