Why are you always expected to say "People here are friendly!" everywhere you go? Even if it's not true?

[Winston]

Has anyone noticed this? Wherever you go, anywhere around the world, there is like this unspoken social rule that you always have to say "People are very friendly here" even if it's not true. All major travel websites and travel TV programs abide by this rule, and will say "people are so friendly" everywhere they go. To say that people are not friendly in any particular place, even if it's true, is a big no no.

In addition, everywhere you go, you are also required to say "The culture is amazing! The food is great!" as well.

So does that mean that there are no unfriendly places in the world? lol. Or do all the big travel sites and TV programs simply LIE?

If you say that people aren't friendly in any place, people are quick to get offended and jump on you and blame you, even if you are being totally honest. It's like a taboo to ever say that people aren't friendly.

Even in LA, you are not allowed to say that people there are snobby and fake and stuck up, even though EVERYONE knows it's true. If you do that, it will make you look uncool, like a whiny loser.

Momopi, why don't you try going around LA and saying that "people here are so snobby, fake and stuck up" and see what reactions you get? lol

Isn't it stupid that you have to say something that you know isn't true (lie) to avoid offending others? Isn't it stupid that you can't be honest about your experiences in this regard?

[Johnny1975]

I hate it when famous people say how great London is. They say how friendly the people are, etc etc and I think, how do they know? They're famous, of course they're going to be treated like kings. And tourists, they do the same. I wish someone would make a documentary to show what it's really like.

[***JP***]

I hate it when famous people say how great London is. They say how friendly the people are, etc etc and I think, how do they know? They're famous, of course they're going to be treated like kings. And tourists, they do the same. I wish someone would make a documentary to show what it's really like.

To me London is completely overrated. Overpriced city with very snobby people and women who are a bunch of drunkards and drug addicts. I wouldn't even touch the women there with a stick.

[Voice of Reason]

I hate it when famous people say how great London is. They say how friendly the people are, etc etc and I think, how do they know? They're famous, of course they're going to be treated like kings. And tourists, they do the same. I wish someone would make a documentary to show what it's really like.

I wish people would make a documentary like that about SYDNEY as well. Absolute trash city filled with arrogant drunk dickheads, and fat stuck-up filthy women.

[Banano]

people are dogs no matter where you go, rmbr that and you ll be more rite than wrong

[Winston]

Have you noticed something stupid?

It is not polite to say that people around you are unfriendly or closed or stuck up. Instead, one is only allowed to say "I am shy and not outgoing, so I don't meet people often." Or you can say, "I work a lot and am very busy so I don't have time to get out and meet people."

However, this is a false assumption that falsely presupposes that people around you are very friendly and outgoing and easy to meet, and all you have to do is be outgoing yourself, which is NOT TRUE.

But one is not allowed to say "I am outgoing and open, but people around me are very closed, stuck up, don't talk to strangers, and have a cold wall around them" no matter how true it is. Doing so will draw shocks and disturbing looks from people, because no one usually says that.

Doesn't it SUCK that you can't say the truth?

[Ghost]

.

[Winston]

Also, have you noticed that it is ok for people to BE unfriendly, but if you SAY that "people here are unfriendly" then it's a taboo and social violation? In other words, you can be unfriendly, but you can't say that people are unfriendly. Isn't that weird and hypocritical?

[Jacaré]

You're totally right Winston. Toronto is one of the worst cities in the world as far as the social aspect of meeting people and people being nice yet everyone repeats like parrots that it's the best city in the world and the people are the friendliest in the world. Each time I return here from my trips to Asia or South America, I am stunned by how arrogant, cold and rude the people are. I've got to the point that I no longer care what people think and I just tell it the way they are.Of course, they look at me as if I were some unicorn alien from some some outer space galaxy but I couldn't care less anymore what they think. I feel pity for them for being so close minded and not having a freaking clue of what the world is really like outside of their bubble.

[Winston]

Here is what Steve Neese wrote to me about my observations above:

Steve Neese:
"I don't usually respond to these but I have to say something important because the theme of this email is actually true and says a lot about human nature.

Let me first say that I have a best friend of 20 years who i can always count on to shoot me straight on things whether good or bad, whether i want to hear it or not. I recently asked him a question about my site and my question was that given that I provide undeniable proof through stats , facts, and expert opinion about qualities of America and American women, why are people still not swayed let alone react so hostile and offended by much of its material. His response to me was the ole "people truly can't handle the truth" when it goes against what they want to believe.

My friend isn't really into any of this stuff that I and winston talk about on our sites but he did tell me that he thinks that the material we provide does contain impressive if not undeniable proof of many of the claims we make, like the summary of claims in the cultural comparison chart. But he says that people already have their reality maps built in their heads so it doesn't matter how much proof is given, most won't convert or change or accept it.

Ya know, one thing I learned in my social psychology class in college early on was about studies that show that the human mind is absolutely powerful in taking in information that supports ideas that we want to believe and blocking out what we don't want to believe ( Winston - its probably like the way I block out conspiracy theories, lol). We see this kind of thing especially in politics. No matter how absolute and powerful the evidence, people will almost never change political views or give credit to the other side. Have you noticed that? And no matter how "hard core" the evidence of guilt might be in murder trials, mothers will never believe their son's guilt.

And lastly, people want to be positive. If something is negative, EVEN IF TRUE, you will pay a heavy price for pointing it out or talking about it. Human beings have very feeble minds and this hostile reaction people have to anything that isn't "feely good " type stuff is proof of this.

Bottom line , truth is mostly irrelevant. What is relevant is positivity and emotional "feel good " itis. Political correctness is a perfect example of this. We all know that truth takes a back seat to poltical correctness. For example, logic and facts dictate that terrorists are mostly from the middle east (barring the occasional nut jobs that are home grown), but despite that, we still refuse to do targeted and heavy screening of middle easterners. Instead we prefer to strip search grandmas and children. This is stupid and not based in rationality and logic.Its a result of weak minds.

We humans do not want to know the truth. We just want to emotionally feel good. This is what we value above all else. And Americans are the worst about this. Cultures like Russia that do not fall victim to political correctness but speak the truth are seen as callous and cold by those cultures like Americans who are feeble minded.

Conclusion- we are emotional beings not logical beings. This is why as a species, we are generally weak and feeble minded.

Sent from my iPod"

[terminator]

I've noticed it too and it seems to be spread mainly by men! Most men can't admit that people or especially women are unfriendly, frigid, or bitches. Men think: "I'll pretend everything is great, and I'll never own up to the truth because that would mean there's no hope of me ever getting a woman/a f^ck/a date, etc." On the other hand, women WILL admit people are terrible and will stop associating with them.

[Winston]

I've noticed it too and it seems to be spread mainly by men! Most men can't admit that people or especially women are unfriendly, frigid, or bitches. Men think: "I'll pretend everything is great, and I'll never own up to the truth because that would mean there's no hope of me ever getting a woman/a f^ck/a date, etc." On the other hand, women WILL admit people are terrible and will stop associating with them.

Are you sure? Where are you at? I've noticed that women tend to be more sensitive to political correctness, and thus will not admit that people are not friendly, whereas men will be less offended or riled up by the truth.

[Winston]

I noticed something when I was in Hong Kong. At a hostel there, a Spanish woman told me that "Hong Kong people are so friendly" because one older woman treated her to food and showed her around. However, this didn't take into account that the number of RUDE UNFRIENDLY people in Hong Kong greatly OUTNUMBER the number of friendly people. So technically, most people were not friendly in HK. But that's how politically correct types operate. If they meet one friendly person out of 100 unfriendly cold people, they will say that people in the WHOLE country are friendly! WTF? Go figure. Bizarre logic. But that's how they think. They prefer to "focus on the positive and ignore the negative" as they say. So they are selective of what they focus on and will admit it. However, isn't that ignoring reality? I mean if HK has more rude people than friendly people, why can't one be honest about that?

The Danish managers of the hostel were the same way. Any negative thing you said, no matter how true, made them look uncomfortable. If you said that the museums in Europe are far better than in Asia (which everyone knows is true) that still makes them uncomfortable because it's a negative comparison, which is taboo. Around most people, you gotta be positive and superficial, and not talk about anything deep or negative in the slightest. Otherwise it makes them awkward. Very weird. How did the mainstream get to be like this?!

Also, when I told the Danish hostel managers that most young people in HK didn't speak good English, only rudimentary English, and could not understand me, they countered me by saying that they met many young people in HK who spoke very fluent English and never had a problem communicating. Yeah right. Bullshit. I talked to a lot of random people and that's not what I experienced.

Yet the law of political correctness says that you are not allowed to say anything negative, no matter how true, and most people obey this. Why? Why are mainstream people so weird? Why don't mainstream people LOVE TRUTH, like philosophers do?

The thing is, if you say that people are friendly everywhere you go and in every place, then the word "friendly" loses it's meaning because there is nothing unfriendly to contrast it with. An attribute only exists if there's an opposite to define it and balance it out. It's the law of Ying Yang. You can't just focus on the Ying and pretend the Yang doesn't exist. Likewise, you can't pretend that only friendliness exists and unfriendliness doesn't exist. To do that would be delusional and illogical.

[Banano]

Most foreigners will say that australians are nice and friendly people even though I would disagree with that.
I think whats happening is they are mixing politeness with friendliness. Australians just like all other anglos are extremply polite and civilized people, they will smile for no reason, its fake but it creates illusion that they are happy and friendly.

If they are so friendly why nobodies got many friends? Nobody talks to their neighbours? Loneliness is widespread and most people prefer spending time on iphones and facebook than interacting with real people.

[Winston]

Most foreigners will say that australians are nice and friendly people even though I would disagree with that.
I think whats happening is they are mixing politeness with friendliness. Australians just like all other anglos are extremply polite and civilized people, they will smile for no reason, its fake but it creates illusion that they are happy and friendly.

If they are so friendly why nobodies got many friends? Nobody talks to their neighbours? Loneliness is widespread and most people prefer spending time on iphones and facebook than interacting with real people.

That's true. People tend to equate politeness with friendliness, so the word "friendly" is very subjective. You can find people in Los Angeles who will help you with directions too, politely, so does that mean LA is a friendly place? lol

To me, "friendliness" means that people are social and interested in getting to know you and will invite you out. They will socialize with you in a genuine, down to earth manner. Apparently, that's not what most people have in mind when they use the word "friendly".

But another thing is that politically correct people are also selective when they try to be positive. They cherry pick. For example, if they go to Hong Kong and meet 100 rude people and one friendly person, they will only focus on the one friendly person and forget the rest. Technically that's incorrect though, because if most people aren't friendly, then you can't say "People are so friendly here!" But that's what they do. That's their logic, oddly enough.

Are you from Australia? Why are you using that as an example?