ANGRY! Why do my parents always move to the WORST places?!

[Winston]

Why do my parents always move to the WORST places?!

My blood is boiling every time I think about this. So I'm going to rant about it here to release it.

Why have my parents always moved to miserable depressing shitholes that keep f***ing up my life?!?! Why am I so unlucky?!

They've been doing this from way back in the 80's. First, when I was in preschool and first grade in Palo Alto, CA, I was actually happy and had good friends and good teachers around me. That was my only positive memory of childhood. Then in 1982, my parents moved to Fremont, CA and took me away from all that. It was the BIGGEST MISTAKE ever made. From then on, my life was miserable and hellish. I had no true friends at school. Kids disliked me and picked on me everyday. My self-esteem was shot down to nothing. I was depressed and unable to cope everyday. TV at night was my only escape. I didn't know what to do about it. As a result, from age 9 to 18, I had no positive memories or experiences. It was horrible beyond words, like a Holocaust in my life.

Then in 1997, I went up to Bellingham, WA to be with a girl I met online. It turned out that I had nothing in common with her and there was no real chemistry with her. But I stayed with her because I couldn't get anyone else and was tired of being desperate everyday. It was really pathetic when you think about it. Also, Bellingham, WA was a very miserable sterile place. Much worse than California. People were cold and inhuman, devoid of passion, feeling or humanness. It was very weird. Northwest people are like a different breed. I've never felt at home there. I was totally in the wrong place.

Then, just when I was ready to get out of that shithole Bellingham and return to CA, my parents SUDDENLY SOLD THEIR HOME AND MOVED UP TO BELLINGHAM TO BE NEAR ME!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This f***ed up my mistake of going to Bellingham by a MILLION TIMES!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

As a result, I spent the next few years of my life in a sterile depressing dark vortex in a place I didn't belong and didn't vibe with. Google "Seattle Freeze" or "Bellingham Curse" and you'll see what I mean. Some others feel the same way. What a waste of life! Life is precious, so why waste years in a place you don't belong? It's so stupid! So for the second time, my parents f***ed up again! f**k! I was so f***ing angry beyond words for years and years!

Now, they've f***ed up majorly for the third time, by moving someplace even worse - Chiayi, Taiwan! This town, and Taiwan in general, is totally backward and hickish with uneducated barbaric looking people I have nothing in common with. They are VERY cold, closed, unfriendly, and repressed! It's like they're not even human!

I can't even talk to anyone or meet people here like I can in other countries. People have this sick COLD WALL around them! There is no eye contact, except occassionally from elderly people. It's totally sick and inhuman. How can people be like that? WTF?! I have no f***ing idea how to act around people that are so cold, closed and repressed, since I'm not like that. So how do you act around such people?! Can anyone tell me?

Taiwan is the worst! I can't be myself, or act like an American because I have an Asian face. If I do, it will disrupt the social balance here! I have no idea how to act or how to talk. I can't act like I do in America while in Taiwan! That would look weird and abnormal! I am not treated in Taiwan the way I am in America either. I have no f***ing place here. I am not really a foreigner or local here in that I look like a local but am not one inside. So I don't belong in either category.

Taiwan is not even beautiful. The architecture is ugly and drab, and the natural scenery is unappealing and bland in most places. Even worse are the people. They are abnormal, unnatural and colder than reptiles! I have f***ing idea how to act around them! It's like the Twilight Zone. I feel like I'm the only normal person in Taiwan. In spite of this, everyone else is saying only nice positive things about Taiwan?! WTF?!

Why do my parents constantly f**k up and move to worse and worse places?! WTF man?! Why is everything they do so diametrically opposed to what I want? It's like fate and karma are always against me.

My parents do not even socialize in Taiwan. They don't go to any events or activities. They never like to have any fun nor do they care. They never celebrate Christmas or holidays or birthdays. All they do is eat and watch TV and don't care about anything else. WTF?! Isn't that strange? It's almost inhuman. How can people be like that? I don't get it.

Why am I so unlucky? Why do I always end up in shitholes like this where I'm so unhappy, depressed, miserable, and 1000 percent INCOMPATIBLE with the people and vibe around me?! f**k! Why am I so f***ing unlucky?! Why can't things make sense?

MY BLOOD BOILS EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!! IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!

There. I've given my piece.

[Winston]

Second rant:

Can anyone talk sense into my parents?! I'm going crazy! I couldn't even sleep last night because I'm so fricking PISSED OFF!!!

Can anyone here try to talk some sense into my parents? This is so frickin crazy and insane. I don't even know how to describe it. I'm filled up with so much ANGER and FRUSTRATION now that I have to let it out and write up this rant, because I'm so f***ing FED UP with how FRICKING INSANE it is here!

Out of all the places they could retire to, why would my parents pick such a miserable cesspit like Chiayi, Taiwan? It's totally insane and disturbing as well, that they would choose such a horrible, boring and depressing place to retire. There are sooo many nice places in the world, even in America, that they could retire to, so why such a miserable, crowded, polluted, boring, unfriendly, cold (socially) place like Chiayi?! I don't understand them. It's totally insane! I am in disbelief about it. It's the dumbest craziest choice anyone can make, which can only lead to MISERY AND REGRET!

I swear to God, Chiayi is the most UNFRIENDLY, MISERABLE AND COLD place I've ever been to. And by cold, I mean the PEOPLE, not the weather! It's much worse than America even. Even my American friend Rock from Taipei, who loves Taiwan and came down to visit me in Chiayi, said that people were very backward, hickish, grouchy and more rude compared to up in Taipei.

How the hell can I meet people here? I can't start conversations here the way I can in other countries. People have this COLD WALL around them here. It's so sick and inhuman! I can't even smile or say hi to anyone unless they're elderly. Yes, elderly people are the only people who are occassionally friendly with strangers in Taiwan. This is very obvious, yet NO ONE ever talks about it. It's like the Emperor's New Clothes.

WTF man?! How can people be like this?! I can't understand it! People here are so unfriendly and look so grouchy and miserable. It wouldn't be as bad if there weren't many people here, but there are. This miserable city is crowded with tons of miserable people in a cramped city with little space to move or drive around in! Terrible! It makes me sick!

I have no idea how to connect with people here at all. They look so cold and unfriendly! No eye contact and their body language is one of total repression, which leads to depression. It's like people are dead zombies here. So lifeless! I can't do anything here! My hands are totally tied! I feel like I'm going crazy here! I can't have fun, be outgoing, be myself, talk to people, flirt with girls, have any adventure. Nothing! What a frickin hellhole!!!

You have to understand that I can't just "be myself" in a place like this. When you are surrounded by cold, unfriendly, grouchy, miserable people, you FEEL PRESSURE to follow suit or to try to fit in or blend in. But HOW THE f**k can I fit in or blend in with people like that?! HOW?! I have no frickin idea! And that's what leads to all this suffering! How can I possibly vibe with or socialize with people who are so fricking unfriendly?! It doesn't make any sense!!!

And all the travel sites and blogs, especially that lying con artist bitch Janet Hsieh, FRICKING LIE LIE LIE about how nice and friendly Taiwan is! BULL f***ing SHIT!!! f**k THEM TO HELL!!! THEY ARE SUCH f***ing LIARS I SWEAR TO GOD!!! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO f***ing TELLS THE TRUTH ABOUT TAIWAN? WHY CAN'T MORE PEOPLE TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT TAIWAN? WHY WHY WHY?!

Also, I don't understand my parents at all. They never have any fun. Their daily routine consists of watching TV everyday until 5pm, where they go out and eat dinner and buy groceries, and come back home at 7 or 8pm and continue watching TV again. Outside of that, they NEVER DO ANYTHING! They never socialize, never have fun, and never talk to any strangers. They don't celebrate Christmas, New Years, or even birthdays, or any holidays. They never go out for fun or stay out past 9pm. WTF?! How can they be like that? I don't get it! It's so lifeless and inhuman! They prefer watching other people have fun and adventures on TELEVISION rather than having any fun themselves. That's so crazy! WTF?! Can anyone explain them? Why are they like that? WHY WHY WHY?! IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!

Their sterile lifestyle rubs off on me too. Being around my parents makes me miserable as well. I can't do anything except eat and watch TV and work on my computer. WTF can I do? Where can I go? f**k! Every girl I've met here is either really fricking boring and prudish, or flakes out on me! Being with my parents feels like a prison where I can't do anything!

What if I have to live here someday to take care of them?! I'd go fricking crazy and become suicidal! All because of their HORRIBLE CHOICES IN ALWAYS PICKING THE MOST MISERABLE PLACES TO LIVE! f**k!!! WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY?! f**k!!! WHY DOES FATE ALWAYS PICK THE MOST INCOMPATIBLE PLACES AND PEOPLE FOR ME?! I AM 1000 PERCENT IMCOMPATIBLE HERE IN EVERY WAY! f**k!!! Does God like mixing matter and anti-matter? WTF MAN?! WHY WHY WHY?!

Why did God create such a miserable place like Chiayi and such a miserable depressing cold unfriendly country like Taiwan? I can't believe a place like Taiwan even exists! It's so inhuman, unnatural and depressing! Taiwan is a TERRIBLE and HORRIBLE example of the human race! I hate to say that, but what else can I conclude? EVERYTHING SUCKS HERE!

In other countries I can talk to people, meet people and socialize far easier and more naturally. But here I can't do anything!!! I keep asking these questions over and over again! Why does no one have any answers?!

PS - I just called this guy I know who teaches English in Chiayi. He agreed with me about people here being cold and unfriendly. And he told me that all the foreigners he knew here only made friends with other foreigners, not with local Taiwanese. Gee. No surprise there.

[Winston]

Unanswered Questions about Taiwan: Why the cold wall?

I'm so tired of asking these questions over and over and over again ad infinitum, but not getting any real answers. Can someone answer these questions DIRECTLY and HONESTLY without any wisecrack, sidetrack, insult or blame to me?

1. Why can't I meet people or start conversations easily in Taiwan, like I can in other countries? What is the reason for that? Why can't I start a conversation with people by just saying "Hey what's up?" like I can in the rest of the normal world? Why is it so hard and unnatural? There's like this BARRIER around people that I can't put into words.

2. Why do local Taiwanese have this cold wall and ice shield around them, and act very cold, unfriendly, miserable and grouchy? Where does this cold wall come from? It's so inhuman and unnatural, and makes you feel miserable when it rubs off on you. How the hell did they get that way?

3. How come whenever I go out in public in Taiwan, no one talks to me except elderly people? In Europe you can go into a restaurant alone and easily start conversations with strangers and join them. Why not in Taiwan? In Taiwan, no one talks to you unless introduced. So if no one introduces you to anyone, you are screwed. No one will want to talk to you. That sucks. You are basically dependent on others for any social life in Taiwan. You can't just "make it happen" on your own.

4. Why do I get this very STRONG FEELING that I'm not allowed to talk to girls in Taiwan? Trying to do so makes me freeze up. I get an overwhelming feeling and sense that it's ILLEGAL, like committing a crime. WTF?! That totally sucks 1000 percent! I don't think it's my imagination though, because: a) the feeling is very strong and overwhelming, b) I don't get it in other countries, and c) I have no history of hallucinating.

At a supermarket in Chiayi, there's this older woman that works there that I talk to. One day I asked her: "How come no one talks to strangers here except middle aged and elderly people? How come girls here have a cold wall and ice shield around them? And how come no websites talk about this except mine?" Her reply was: "We are taught by our parents not to talk to strangers. When I was a young girl, I didn't talk to strangers either."

So you see, she admitted that Taiwanese are taught not to talk to strangers. How does that make them any better than in America, esp since Taiwanese consider Americans to be more open than they are?! What's the point of going to Taiwan, if you can't befriend local people and only other foreigners?

Someone told me that all his foreigner friends in Taiwan only befriend other foreigners, and maybe westernized Taiwanese (but those are rare because they tend to leave Taiwan). So what's the point of going to a country if the locals aren't going to befriend you, and only foreigners are?

5. Why is there no eye contact in Taiwan, except from the occasional elderly person? How come when I look at Taiwanese women in the eye, they never look back. Yet when I turn my head away, they will look at me for a split second? WTF is up with that? Why can't they just be normal? I don't understand. In the Philippines, any girl you look at will automatically look back at you. It's simple and normal. Why not in Taiwan and NE Asia?

6. How come Taiwanese don't talk to strangers unless they are introduced to you, or trying to sell you something of course? The only people that do are elderly people, which for some reason are more direct, straightforward and often loud. Otherwise, you don't exist to them. It seems that the only people that are truly friendly in Taiwan are:

a) Foreigners (sure but what's the point of being in Taiwan if the only people who are sociable to you are other foreigners?)
b) Couchsurfers (though not all, Couchsurfers in other countries are much more friendly and willing to meet up, in my experience that is)
c) Westernized Taiwanese (if they're not too snobby that is, but they are rare because most of them leave Taiwan)
d) Elderly people (who for some reason are very direct, straightforward and loud)

But definitely not local mainstream Taiwanese. No way. They seem so cold and inhuman. WTF is up with that? Why would anyone be insane enough to live in a country where mainstream locals are not friendly? WTF? From what I've heard, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and Singapore are also similar in this regard. NE Asians are like a different species from the rest of the world. I have no idea how to connect with them. How is is that I share their genetics, yet I am nothing like them?

What's funny is that if you meet Taiwanese people overseas, they will be friendlier and glad to meet you: "Oh it's nice to see another Taiwanese here!" But if you are in Taiwan, you are just another person to be ignored. Likewise, if you meet a fellow American overseas, even in Taiwan, it is far easier to start a conversation with them than if you see them at a local public place in America where you are just another stranger. Isn't it funny how that is?

7. Why do all travel sites claim that "Taiwanese are very friendly"? Where are all the "friendly" people they talk about? Why does no one talk about the above except me, even though they are obvious? It's like the Emperor's New Clothes - obvious but never talked about.

All the travel sites, blogs and fake celebrities like Janet Hsieh rave about how friendly and nice Taiwan is. They are such liars, I swear. Why does no one mention the obvious things above? Why am I the only one?

When I see cold unfriendly faces everywhere in Taiwan everyday, it gets really depressing after a while, and makes me feel very miserable too. How come no one else is complaining about it? Am I the only one affected negatively by it? If so, why? Not even ugly people are complaining about it. Why do I seem to be the only one? I am 100 percent certain about the above, so I know that I'm not imagining all this.

MYTH/FICTION: Taiwanese are so friendly, helpful and nice! (Publicly, you are only allowed to say this, for to say otherwise would be considered rude. Sure, they are helpful if you are their guest, or they are working in customer service. But that doesn't make them social or easy to meet and talk to.)

FACT/REALITY: Taiwanese have a cold wall around them. They have cold, unfriendly, grouchy faces and don't talk to strangers unless introduced or trying to sell something. There is no eye contact, especially with females. Only elderly people will occasionally smile and talk to strangers, as they are not afraid to be direct and straightforward for some reason. You can't start a conversation in Taiwan by just saying "How are you? Where are you from?" like you can in most other countries. The cold wall of Taiwanese is NOT inviting or welcoming at all. This cold wall exists in Japan, Korea, Hong Kong and Singapore too. Yet in spite of this, no one talks about this. It's a big taboo to ever mention the cold wall.

I'm so tired of asking these questions over and over and over again ad infinitum, but not getting any real answers. Can someone answer these questions DIRECTLY and HONESTLY without any wisecrack, sidetrack, insult or blame to me? PLEASE?!

[Jester]

Taiwan is Winston's own personal "Truman Show".

[Jester]

But seriously, Wu-Master, why don't you use Taiwan as a base and fly in a Mainland honey-ko for a little sightseeing excursion?

Oh, and step up and start leading your family. Dad is King, per Confucious and all..... but if he abdicates, then it's YOU.

Step up!

[xiongmao]

Taiwan is Winston's own personal "Truman Show".

Ha ha ha, how I laughed at that .

It *IS* possible to change your life. One of the Chinese girls I dated last year had never left Guangdong Province, now she's an au pair in the USA!!!!

And of course I've quit my job, sold all my stuff and I'm going to live in China next year.

My A+++ contact in Guangzhou has just reappeared and she tells me she's paying the equivalent of $475 USD a month for a 3 bed/2 bathroom apartment. Just imagine how cheap a 1 bed bachelor pad would be! There's endless women to meet in China, whether they're "hairdressers" or pretty office ladies. There can't be many men around as only one of the girls I've ever dated has got married.

So I vote you get the hell off that island and see what the mainland has to offer. Guangzhou is building 10 new metro lines ready for your arrival, plus a high speed train line to Hong Kong.

Happier Abroad could make $$$$ and easily bankroll everything as there's an endless supply of pissed off men in every country of the World .

[Winston]

Taiwan is Winston's own personal "Truman Show".

Ha ha ha, how I laughed at that .

It *IS* possible to change your life. One of the Chinese girls I dated last year had never left Guangdong Province, now she's an au pair in the USA!!!!

And of course I've quit my job, sold all my stuff and I'm going to live in China next year.

My A+++ contact in Guangzhou has just reappeared and she tells me she's paying the equivalent of $475 USD a month for a 3 bed/2 bathroom apartment. Just imagine how cheap a 1 bed bachelor pad would be! There's endless women to meet in China, whether they're "hairdressers" or pretty office ladies. There can't be many men around as only one of the girls I've ever dated has got married.

So I vote you get the hell off that island and see what the mainland has to offer. Guangzhou is building 10 new metro lines ready for your arrival, plus a high speed train line to Hong Kong.

Happier Abroad could make $$$$ and easily bankroll everything as there's an endless supply of pissed off men in every country of the World .

Are you sure there's not going to be that "cold wall" in China that exists in Taiwan and Japan, which you aren't even allowed to talk about? What about eye contact?

Have you been to Japan or Korea and felt that cold wall around women? Or is it just my imagination? Why does no one publicly complain about it? I am 100 percent sure it exists. It's not personal either, for the cold wall is there even when their backs are turned to you and they aren't aware of you.

[xiongmao]

Actually I got annoyed in China because one time me and my gf left a restaurant and the waitress didn't say 88!

Outside of the main business districts of Guangzhou I felt like a celebrity. I got noticed a fair bit in Japan as well.

Women crave attention and if you give it to them then you're onto a good thing.

I don't think Chinese women would come up to you like Filipinas would - Chinese women are just naturally more reserved. But I know from what my gf at the time was telling me is that there are an awful lot of pretty shop assistants and waitresses who want foreign husbands. They'll lack English or IT skills that would allow them to find one though.

Chinese people are big on social networking as well, and if you want to meet hot ladies you need contacts over there.

The good news is that my mysterious business lady friend has reappeared. Not only has she got an astoundingly good price on an apartment rental, but she knows thousands (millions?) of pretty office ladies all over China.

Also she reckons it's not too hard to find jobs in Guangzhou. In fact I found all kinds of casual jobs for foreigners this morning, including jobs as Steve Jobs impersonators (gotta be tall), or as Santa Clauses (would suit slightly overweight guys like Winston or myself!!!!!)

[Winston]

A lot of Asian women simply don't like to say hi or bye for some reason, esp younger ones. Older ones are more friendly and relaxed.

Any man can give attention. It all depends on whether the woman gives you any attention back or not.

So if you look at a Chinese woman, will she look at you back? Or will she avoid eye contact?

What if you say "Excuse me?" or "Hey how are you?" etc.? Will they stop and talk to you, or ignore you and walk on as if you don't exist?

What about the cold wall? Are you claiming that you felt no cold wall in Japan?

[royalism]

that "cold wall" thing you are talking about is a chinese thing. it's not only in taiwan, but mainland china and hk. yeah and they are all walking zombies too. especially southern chinese people. quite a lot of people have this weird weird sleepy lazy mentality.

by the way, why are you still living with your parents? are you supporting them? they supporting you? do you have another other siblings that can live with your parents?

[Winston]

that "cold wall" thing you are talking about is a chinese thing. it's not only in taiwan, but mainland china and hk. yeah and they are all walking zombies too. especially southern chinese people. quite a lot of people have this weird weird sleepy lazy mentality.

by the way, why are you still living with your parents? are you supporting them? they supporting you? do you have another other siblings that can live with your parents?

So you've experienced it and acknowledge it too right? It certainly makes approaching or starting up a conversation NOT feel natural at all. I hate it! It gives me a sick feeling too. Where does it come from? Is it genetic? How is it projected? From the mind?

If I grew up in Taiwan, would I have a cold wall around me too? It's so f***ing weird and inhuman.

I notice it around Cantonese people too, especially in the US.

So why do no travel websites or blogs talk about this "cold wall" around Chinese and Japanese people? All they say is "People are so friendly and helpful!" Blah blah blah. So full of shit. How can something so obvious never be talked about? WTF?!

Btw, can someone answer my 6 questions above? Why can no one answer them directly?

[Jester]

The good news is that my mysterious business lady friend has reappeared. Not only has she got an astoundingly good price on an apartment rental, but she knows thousands (millions?) of pretty office ladies all over China.

Also she reckons it's not too hard to find jobs in Guangzhou. In fact I found all kinds of casual jobs for foreigners this morning, including jobs as Steve Jobs impersonators (gotta be tall), or as Santa Clauses (would suit slightly overweight guys like Winston or myself!!!!!)

Hah now THAT'S a job I can do!

[momopi]

No amount of advice will help if the person choose inaction.


If you're still in TW in Jan, you can um, take a hot air balloon ride to make yourself feel better or something:
http://www.farm.com.tw/tour-news.asp?sy ... 2985565822

If you're desperate to find something interesting to look at, try 栗松溫泉 (Li Song Hot Springs). Be warned that you'd need to do some climbing.










I have low confidence that Winston would actually depart TW in 1Q 2013.

[keepingitreal]

Read the pm I sent you.

[xiongmao]

I have low confidence that Winston would actually depart TW in 1Q 2013.

So true, so true.

I'm not even sure he'll leave his parent's house . Well when was the last time he posted photos from a club or bar?