The ideal male-female relationship

[Cornfed]

I think I had such a relationship with a female between 6 months and 18 months ago. We are both middle aged and she is a couple of years older than me. She was a close neighbor. She used to fuss over me, perform domestic chores and run errands for me, act as a designated driver (I’d sip alcohol during the day at that time and I hate driving in this town in any case) and in return I would buy her stuff and let her use my SUV. I found myself involuntarily becoming “Alpha” and bossing her around, but in a kind, respectful way.

When people who didn’t know us moved in to the complex, everyone assumed we were a couple. I probably would have used the relationship as an example of the refutation of the idea that men and females can’t have a relationship unless one of them wants to have sex with the other, but then of course I found out that she wanted to have sex with me. Now part of this was probably genuine sexual attraction, but of course a lot of it would be trying to cement her financial gains.

So why didn’t I have sex with her? I was asked this question by another female neighbor, and I struggled to explain without insulting anyone before she said “So there wasn’t enough chemistry from your side”, and I agreed. And of course there is also the baggage of a sexual relationship. For example, I was on a good wage at the time whereas she was on welfare. If I were f***ing her the welfare people could have cut her welfare, demanded I pay for her and billed me for her welfare from whenever they decided we were in a relationship. And so on. I’m glad I didn’t ruin a perfectly good relationship with sex.

[Zambales]

If I were f***ing her the welfare people could have cut her welfare, demanded I pay for her and billed me for her welfare from whenever they decided we were in a relationship.

How are they going to find that out? Not sure if it's different where you are, but here, welfare is only cut if the applicant fails to declare they're actually living with a partner.

[Cornfed]

If I were f***ing her the welfare people could have cut her welfare, demanded I pay for her and billed me for her welfare from whenever they decided we were in a relationship.

How are they going to find that out? Not sure if it's different where you are, but here, welfare is only cut if the applicant fails to declare they're actually living with a partner.

They cut it off if you are credibly accused and you fail to prove your innocence. Snitches often accuse you. It didn't happen to me because everyone knew it wasn't true.

[Zambales]

If I were f***ing her the welfare people could have cut her welfare, demanded I pay for her and billed me for her welfare from whenever they decided we were in a relationship.

How are they going to find that out? Not sure if it's different where you are, but here, welfare is only cut if the applicant fails to declare they're actually living with a partner.

They cut it off if you are credibly accused and you fail to prove your innocence. Snitches often accuse you. It didn't happen to me because everyone knew it wasn't true.

So if you're banging a woman on welfare, they'll bill you for the welfare claimed by her during the period of the relationship? Are you sure? If that was the case, what's stopping you going to a lawyer and suing them for making accusations that aren't accompanied with any clear cut evidence?

[Zambales]

So if you're banging a woman on welfare, they'll bill you for the welfare claimed by her during the period of the relationship? Are you sure? If that was the case, what's stopping you going to a lawyer and suing them for making accusations that aren't accompanied with any clear cut evidence?

Yes they made a special law about this that was very controversial but it passed. Well not just if you banged her but if they deemed you to be in a relationship. As to suing the government over this sort of dispute, good luck you'll need it.

And what happens if you're not aware that she's on welfare?

[MarcosZeitola]

I fail to see what is ideal about a relationship with a used up middle-aged hag who does not even provide you with any sex beyond a friendly occasional companionship.

The ideal male-female relationship, in actuality, is one in which either the man and the woman get together when they are both young and sharing the same goals in life, growing up & old together at the same time as they build their lives... or one in which the man marries a younger girl when he himself has become established in the world, and has his own place, an income that's steady enough and can provide them both with a good lifestyle, as well as any future offspring they may produce.

There is no point in a platonic union with an older woman, especially not one who is even older than yourself.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I fail to see what is ideal about a relationship with a used up middle-aged hag who does not even provide you with any sex beyond a friendly occasional companionship.

The ideal male-female relationship, in actuality, is one in which either the man and the woman get together when they are both young and sharing the same goals in life, growing up & old together at the same time as they build their lives... or one in which the man marries a younger girl when he himself has become established in the world, and has his own place, an income that's steady enough and can provide them both with a good lifestyle, as well as any future offspring they may produce.

There is no point in a platonic union with an older woman, especially not one who is even older than yourself.

From Corny's standpoint, ANY attention from ANY female, no matter how low-value, would be ideal. I am kind of glad for the dude though. Even guys like him need to feel validated after lacking female interaction for so many years.

It also might serve as an incentive for him to improve his quality of life because the guy essentially lives the life of a tin foil-hatted, medically-confined dreg who has no prospects for a brighter future. So I kind of get why this might be "ideal" in his mind.

[Cornfed]

I fail to see what is ideal about a relationship with a used up middle-aged hag who does not even provide you with any sex beyond a friendly occasional companionship.

The ideal male-female relationship, in actuality, is one in which either the man and the woman get together when they are both young and sharing the same goals in life, growing up & old together at the same time as they build their lives... or one in which the man marries a younger girl when he himself has become established in the world, and has his own place, an income that's steady enough and can provide them both with a good lifestyle, as well as any future offspring they may produce.

There is no point in a platonic union with an older woman, especially not one who is even older than yourself.

From Corny's standpoint, ANY attention from ANY female, no matter how low-value, would be ideal. I am kind of glad for the dude though. Even guys like him need to feel validated after lacking female interaction for so many years.

It also might serve as an incentive for him to improve his quality of life because the guy essentially lives the life of a tin foil-hatted, medically-confined dreg who has no prospects for a brighter future. So I kind of get why this might be "ideal" in his mind.

Predictable though they are, your responses are often quite funny. Maybe we are the ideal white-black forum posting compo.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I fail to see what is ideal about a relationship with a used up middle-aged hag who does not even provide you with any sex beyond a friendly occasional companionship.

The ideal male-female relationship, in actuality, is one in which either the man and the woman get together when they are both young and sharing the same goals in life, growing up & old together at the same time as they build their lives... or one in which the man marries a younger girl when he himself has become established in the world, and has his own place, an income that's steady enough and can provide them both with a good lifestyle, as well as any future offspring they may produce.

There is no point in a platonic union with an older woman, especially not one who is even older than yourself.

From Corny's standpoint, ANY attention from ANY female, no matter how low-value, would be ideal. I am kind of glad for the dude though. Even guys like him need to feel validated after lacking female interaction for so many years.

It also might serve as an incentive for him to improve his quality of life because the guy essentially lives the life of a tin foil-hatted, medically-confined dreg who has no prospects for a brighter future. So I kind of get why this might be "ideal" in his mind.

Predictable though they are, your responses are often quite funny. Maybe we are the ideal white-black forum posting compo.

It is said in life that one sometimes has to laugh to keep oneself from crying, so I am glad you find it funny. I will therefore continue to do so since it gives you some modicum of levity in your condition.

[gsjackson]

The archives will reflect thst I was thumping the tub for this comedic duo almost five years ago. The set piece never fails to entertain: Corny the black-hatted villain rides in spewing bile and threatening to shoot up the town. White-hatted sheriff CE chases the varmint away again with six guns blazing. Longest running show on HA, I believe.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

The archives will reflect thst I was thumping the tub for this comedic duo almost five years ago. The set piece never fails to entertain: Corny the black-hatted villain rides in spewing bile and threatening to shoot up the town. White-hatted sheriff CE chases the varmint away again with six guns blazing. Longest running show on HA, I believe.

Has it been that long? Hopefully most people gloss right over the back and forth.

[MarcosZeitola]

Of course the “ideal” tag is not literally true. But it was a good relationship untainted by sex, the female getting her legal hooks into me, sexual jealousy and mate guarding and so on where the balance of power was actually to our mutual long term liking with no-one saying an angry word. So pretty good. And as a practical matter it was good to have someone to drive me around, drive me to the hospital when I tore my calf muscle etc.

What actually was the most ideal relationship you have been in that was sexual in nature and was close to the ideal of how a male and female relationship ought to be in your eyes, Cornfed?

[Cornfed]

Of course the “ideal” tag is not literally true. But it was a good relationship untainted by sex, the female getting her legal hooks into me, sexual jealousy and mate guarding and so on where the balance of power was actually to our mutual long term liking with no-one saying an angry word. So pretty good. And as a practical matter it was good to have someone to drive me around, drive me to the hospital when I tore my calf muscle etc.

What actually was the most ideal relationship you have been in that was sexual in nature and was close to the ideal of how a male and female relationship ought to be in your eyes, Cornfed?

I'm not sure such a thing is possible in the West. The only such relationships I've seen are where the female is an invalid or otherwise dependant on the man, and that doesn't seem ideal.