I have a relationship with a Vietnamese woman now

[new2foreigndating]

Initially I was talking to Filipina women but I found they all wanted me to send money and made up bullshit excuses that boiled down to woe is me. That may sound rude but after hearing it nonstop it just got on my last nerve so I stopped communicating with all Filipina women. My ex gf was from China but she was like any other Westernized skank. And cheated on me and she ended up with a STD.

Anyways, I was about to give up on dating abroad entirely due to the scammers and such but then for the past few months I have been communicating with a Vietnamese woman. Her culture is very nice there. Very traditional. She hasn't asked me for money or anything. The only issue is she does not want to move from Vietnam but would prefer for me in the future to move there.

I have some military commitments at present and may take up another contract which would require me to stay in my home country longer. But I want to save up some money so I can live on easy street if I move. She said there 1200 EU could last me a year. She's a really good influence on me. I suffer from depression and anxiety but she is very helpful and not rude about it. And helps me set goals for myself to achieve and cheers me on in life.

It's really nice and quite different from my past relationships which all seemed centered on what I had in my wallet or ended up with me being cheated on. But it all seems just too good to be true. If I let myself be too happy I think it will come crashing down.

But anyways, I guess right now I will see what happens and I really have to recommend Vietnamese girls at present. From what she says about how women behave there I really think it's quite nice you know.

Although she is skeptical of white men due to her ex using her and then leaving her at the first chance for a Chinese girl. And many tourists trying to go to Vietnam to get laid quick etc.

It seems if you want a traditional woman Vietnam is the way to go right now.

Any thoughts on this by anyone else with experience with Vietnamese women? Am I getting myself into shit here? I am actually sending her a gift soon (not money though) of some slippers my mother made here (she made many pairs so it's a simple gift really). She has a good job in Vietnam and lives quite a nice life it seems.

And PS should I go on a trip? She'd really like to meet me. But I am a bit nervous I've never been to Vietnam before especially as a white guy.

[Bao3niang]

From the ones I've talked to, the cultural similarity was greater than any other SE Asian country, due to me being from a mainland Chinese background. One of the girls that I got along with (but unfortunately, she found me talking to other girls, and was quite sad) was even an ethnic Chinese with roots in Guangzhou. She was a year older than me (June 1995, I was born on 3 July 1996), but one year doesn't count as an age difference to me. Very petite at only 150 / 4 foot 11, big eyes. When she asked me to text her, she told me it was the first time she had ever waited for a guy's text. She was really sweet, every time I sent her a picture of myself she called me cute. Good family values too, though a bit too attached to her mum. In her own words: 'I don't need to have much money, just need my boy beside my every day.' She didn't believe in sex before marriage.

As for other Vietnamese girls I've talked to, there was a fair share of gold diggers / gaijin hunters, but it may just be the ones on the internet. I did manage to come across some genuinely nice ones, even though they never became anything romantic. One dated a jobless American that was almost living on the streets for quite a while. The only reason why it ended, at least to my knowledge, was because he cheated on her with a Malaysian Chinese woman that was quite a psycho. She is now in Australia with the son of a farm owner. Sad that she's in Australia, but to my knowledge she hasn't been with anyone for remotely materialistic reasons.

I know this girl who's a Christian and in Korea. She will graduate from university soon, but she's already 25. Decent girl as well. She told me that many Korean women would 'not even consider a guy unless he has a good career path.' This other girl, who lives near my male friend from Viet Nam, is now a policewoman and married (she's 22) to a policeman. Buddhist girl who actually reads sutras, and her older brother's also a policeman. She failed admission into police school a few times, but I've never believed academic performance to be a good indicator of a decent girl.

There was a slut called Alice (Dang Tu Hien) that I was infatuated with despite all the red flags. Party girl, told me she danced at bars and often got drunk. Petite and super gorgeous, but a slut. Sister is married to a Vietnamese-New Zealander. She was an accounting major, and when she was working a part-time job at a company, I texted her regularly to show that I cared. She basically told me to f**k off and threatened to block me. That was very nice of her. Intelligent girl, but a hoe.

[Bao3niang]

Sucks to hear about what happened with your mainland Chinese ex. Please don't dismiss our women as bad, as there is still a fair number of good ones, but I fully admit that China is withering under assault from the evils of the modern world.

[Yohan]

.....
Anyways, I was about to give up on dating abroad entirely due to the scammers and such but then for the past few months I have been communicating with a Vietnamese woman. Her culture is very nice there. Very traditional. She hasn't asked me for money or anything. The only issue is she does not want to move from Vietnam ....

This is a good sign, an Asian woman who does not want to move away from her own native country.

However keep in mind that you never met that woman in real life face to face - but only through the internet.
Internet contacts are good as they help to meet people you could otherwise never meet in your life.
However do not overrate such an online relationship. It is a big difference between internet and real life.

But I want to save up some money so I can live on easy street if I move. She said there 1200 EU could last me a year.

A local very modest person in Vietnam can survive with this amount, but this is still a poor life style.
I doubt very much if a Western foreign man can live with that amount.
There are additional expenses - like airfare, visa, medical fees and not all foreigners can eat what Vietnamese people eat in their home etc.
Gross national income per capita Dec. 2017, Atlas method and PPP is around USD 6.170,- and without considering purchasing power only USD 2.100,- per year.

She has a good job in Vietnam and lives quite a nice life it seems.

Do you know more about her job and her income? It should be higher than euro 1200,- per year, if this is really a 'good' job.

And PS should I go on a trip? She'd really like to meet me. But I am a bit nervous I've never been to Vietnam before especially as a white guy.

Yes, you should go, but make sure before departure, that your passport, visa, creditcard (open for South East Asian countries) and return airticket are OK.

You will never regret your trip and never will feel sorry for spending money for travel away from the Western society.
Be aware however to face some surprise, Vietnam is a rather poor country. Be aware also about language issues. Do not expect everybody there to be able to communicate in English or French.

Anyway, you should go, if it does not work out as expected, take it easy and it was a nice holiday trip.

There is no problem with Vietnam for a visit as a tourist, but for long-stay I am highly sceptical, it is not easy in Vietnam to earn your own money as a Western foreigner.

[droid]

There have been a few one-time posts regarding Vietnam where the poster doesn't make a lot of sense and then never comes back. My paranoid side tells me something is off and doesn't add up...

This time it seems a bit more legitimate though so I can respond a bit.
Yes these women are good for marriage, they don't want any cock carrousel and they are honest with the money and have some dignity about it. You can get in trouble too if you want, but generally a gold digger/scammer is stupid enough that will give herself away quick, which is very convenient.

If you come here, good luck trying to stay faithful once you see all the ones with skimpy shorts and their biceps-femoris exposed on the bikes.

[Bao3niang]

I disagree. Viet Nam has a rapidly expanding ESL market for foreign teachers. They even hire some Filipinos as teachers.

[new2foreigndating]

Well I am not exactly moving yet and I still am a bit undecided as I am married to my career right now. Although I realize a career isn't always the end all be all of life. I am cynical about relationships because of the past so I am a bit skeptical of this female personally. Although so far so good. But happiness is always preceded by a fall or defeat for my person so I do not let myself be too happy ever.

In regards of my ex I could write a book about it. But long story short she was already divorced I think twice by the time her 3rd husband met her in China. He was the one who brought her here and she then divorced him because he didn't get a good enough job. So she rode the cock carousel like many other white women and associated with sluts. She lived in a city just outside of a military base here so she got her fill of serviceman semen and what's more there was also an active university there so she got filled with college semen as well. Despite her wanting a man to provide for her, she provided enough money for a mulatto gentlemen who slept around on her. However because he was handsome she liked him enough until he left her. She always left her boyfriends over what was stupid reasons I thought. And although I was ashamed of her past and comments my friends made about her past (they knew it well before I knew her) I didn't pay attention until she left overnight without saying a damned word. Then she led me on for a bit thinking we could patch it up and then just disappeared altogether. Last I heard she had Hep C.

So no I will never ever date a Chinese woman again.

And my experience with Filipinas is that its just better to go to the Philippines and have sex with them there otherwise they'll just take your money and give you nothing but grief in exchange.

The West is already ruined. And it's no small surprise in due time the East will be likewise ruined by the machinations of feminism and such. Plus no matter where you go you have to be redpilled about women. Women want three things: looks, money and status. However, some countries seem more rotten to the core than others. Here in Canada it's totally gone. It'll be Sweden by 2020 I bet.

[xiongmao]

There are some pretty good teaching jobs in Vietnam these days. I might be tempted as China is indeed pretty much ruined these days. On the downside it would be a hassle having to start over learning a new Asian language.

Vietnam has a reputation for scammers - at least as far as dating sites go. Not sure if that's changed.

[Devil Dog]

There are hundreds of thousands of quality women in Vietnam. Buon Ma Thuot, Pleiku, Dong Hoi, Kon Tum...The list of second and third tier cities is endless. Now choose one of those cities and bounce it off a dating site search. Do you get the picture? Here's the point: I would wild-guess that less than .01% of the available women in Vietnam are on dating sites. And the ones on dating sites are mostly the dregs. Think about it. Vietnam is a traditional society. I know women in their mid to late 20's who have 9PM curfews. You think they are on dating sites?

People on this site want quality women, in theory. In practice they will never do the work necessary to find one. Thus looking for dating site women when that group is usually the worst of what is available. Typical HA is living in the parents' basement, bitching about the unfairness of life, while never actually doing anything. If you want to meet quality Vietnamese women then get your feet on the ground in Vietnam and start talking to people.

[droid]

There are hundreds of thousands of quality women in Vietnam. Buon Ma Thuot, Pleiku, Dong Hoi, Kon Tum...The list of second and third tier cities is endless. Now choose one of those cities and bounce it off a dating site search. Do you get the picture? Here's the point: I would wild-guess that less than .01% of the available women in Vietnam are on dating sites. And the ones on dating sites are mostly the dregs. Think about it. Vietnam is a traditional society. I know women in their mid to late 20's who have 9PM curfews. You think they are on dating sites?

People on this site want quality women, in theory. In practice they will never do the work necessary to find one. Thus looking for dating site women when that group is usually the worst of what is available. Typical HA is living in the parents' basement, bitching about the unfairness of life, while never actually doing anything. If you want to meet quality Vietnamese women then get your feet on the ground in Vietnam and start talking to people.

Fantastic points. However I don't know how old you are or when you were last here, but there are some caveats and they must be mentioned.

Communication is somewhat difficult with them, and I'm not talking about the language barrier, which already puts most women out of reach, I'm talking about text communication, which is unavoidable nowadays. They might like you and engage you real nicely in person, but once on texting mode they can be quite amoral in responding with just one-liners or one-syllables, or just responding whenever they want.

Some girls are just plain dumb, some are insecure and some are already super spoiled by online attention. And others just test to see if you are really serious and "insist" and court, so it makes it a bit hard for proper conversations on the text apps.
Once you get them to see you in person though it's a different story though, you can make them laugh real easy and can escalate physically, as they still appreciate a man's presence.

For the guys out there just looking for a wife, this is very easy though, they just have to sift through 10-20 women with the "insist and court" deal ONCE and be done with it, that goal is a piece of cake here. But I would not really advise this place If you want 'casual' dating and going from one girl to another daily crap, like Winston or I like. This ain't philippines, they will ask repeatedly if you 'have girlfriend'. Chastise away lol, but I'm just being the messenger.

[droid]

There are some pretty good teaching jobs in Vietnam these days. I might be tempted as China is indeed pretty much ruined these days. On the downside it would be a hassle having to start over learning a new Asian language.

Vietnam has a reputation for scammers - at least as far as dating sites go. Not sure if that's changed.

Not at all in my experience. Not online and not in person.

I've heard stories about western chumps getting cash stolen and cheated on with korean chumps, but because they gravitate towards tattooed women in the few western style clubs or what not.
You can take the chump out of the chumpzone but not the chump out of the chump lol.

[Devil Dog]

There are hundreds of thousands of quality women in Vietnam. Buon Ma Thuot, Pleiku, Dong Hoi, Kon Tum...The list of second and third tier cities is endless. Now choose one of those cities and bounce it off a dating site search. Do you get the picture? Here's the point: I would wild-guess that less than .01% of the available women in Vietnam are on dating sites. And the ones on dating sites are mostly the dregs. Think about it. Vietnam is a traditional society. I know women in their mid to late 20's who have 9PM curfews. You think they are on dating sites?

People on this site want quality women, in theory. In practice they will never do the work necessary to find one. Thus looking for dating site women when that group is usually the worst of what is available. Typical HA is living in the parents' basement, bitching about the unfairness of life, while never actually doing anything. If you want to meet quality Vietnamese women then get your feet on the ground in Vietnam and start talking to people.

Fantastic points. However I don't know how old you are or when you were last here, but there are some caveats and they must be mentioned.

Communication is somewhat difficult with them, and I'm not talking about the language barrier, which already puts most women out of reach, I'm talking about text communication, which is unavoidable nowadays. They might like you and engage you real nicely in person, but once on texting mode they can be quite amoral in responding with just one-liners or one-syllables, or just responding whenever they want.

Some girls are just plain dumb, some are insecure and some are already super spoiled by online attention. And others just test to see if you are really serious and "insist" and court, so it makes it a bit hard for proper conversations on the text apps.
Once you get them to see you in person though it's a different story though, you can make them laugh real easy and can escalate physically, as they still appreciate a man's presence.

For the guys out there just looking for a wife, this is very easy though, they just have to sift through 10-20 women with the "insist and court" deal ONCE and be done with it, that goal is a piece of cake here. But I would not really advise this place If you want 'casual' dating and going from one girl to another daily crap, like Winston or I like. This ain't philippines, they will ask repeatedly if you 'have girlfriend'. Chastise away lol, but I'm just being the messenger.

I'm old enough that I would prefer a woman in her late 20s over one in her teens or early 20s. If you have some confidence and charisma you can work with large age gaps. I was last there in 2015. That was my 4th visit and I will probably spend 4 or 5 weeks there this Summer. I have a lot of friends in Vietnam.

As for texting and their being needy for online attention... just get away from the dating sites and women that you meet at bars. Meet women through social circle. It is easy to meet people there who are focused on the people and events around them, and not staring at a phone screen. You should 'next' any woman who is addicted to her phone, whether you are in the US, Vietnam, or elsewhere. Just don't put up with that shit and it will not be a problem in your life. Of course Vietnam is not the best place for casual dating or just banging loose women. It is a great place to find a quality woman.

[droid]

I'm old enough that I would prefer a woman in her late 20s over one in her teens or early 20s. If you have some confidence and charisma you can work with large age gaps. I was last there in 2015. That was my 4th visit and I will probably spend 4 or 5 weeks there this Summer. I have a lot of friends in Vietnam.

As for texting and their being needy for online attention... just get away from the dating sites and women that you meet at bars. Meet women through social circle. It is easy to meet people there who are focused on the people and events around them, and not staring at a phone screen. You should 'next' any woman who is addicted to her phone, whether you are in the US, Vietnam, or elsewhere. Just don't put up with that shit and it will not be a problem in your life. Of course Vietnam is not the best place for casual dating or just banging loose women. It is a great place to find a quality woman.

My points went completely over your head. Like that poster kradmelder, you go out of your way to turn anything into some 'bootstrap' point.

confidence

Of course "Don't be coy or a weirdo" goes without saying, but please spare us the western bullshit, people here are nice and down to earth. Some women don't mind the age gaps, some do, that's all.

[Devil Dog]

Your 'points' are beyond obvious:
1. There are difficulties involved with non face to face communication. What????? Stop the presses!
2. Some girls are just plain dumb, some are insecure and some are already super spoiled by online attention. Keep on dealing with dating site girls and hope for the best!
3. Once you get them to see you in person though it's a different story though... And that is different from what other countries? Once again, Relationship Basics 101.

And best of all, the HA Classic:
4. The skill which you (droid) lack, self-confidence, is an evil unnecessary "Western" thing. "Game" as defined by the PUA community is completely unneeded in Vietnam, for dealing with decent women. Confidence is different. Women are attracted to confidence, and that is universal. There are plenty of confident men in Vietnam, foreigners and Vietnamese. You will get their leftovers, but that's OK because there are many good women there.

The HA mantra, as always, is that you are right and the world is wrong:
Can't get any success with Western women? They are evil and wrong.
Don't have any money? It's because of bankers and Jews.
Can't get a good job? "The system" is rigged against you.

[Cornfed]

This “confidence” thing is generally confusing cause and effect. People are confident because they know that can do stuff. They don’t magically get to be able to do stuff just because they brainwash themselves into being confident. Most PUA stuff is cargo cult thinking.