40-Year Old Virgin Movie?

[Wolfeye]

I've got to ask: Is there any reality to something like this? The guy is 40 years old & has never been with a woman & she's fine with it & they get together seriously at the end. Nice ending, but I have a hard time believing it.

I've been abstaining from SOCIETY to an extent for some time, and since women don't break into your house like ninjas asking if you want to sleep with them at a certain point, I've been without for quite some time. I'm starting to worry that women, even in other countries, won't be very understanding & will just presume I'm nuts or something.

I haven't been avoiding women or driving them away, I just haven't really bothered with the whole social scene- it's hollow & acid-like, with a constant work-work-work grind to life that frankly doesn't seem worth it at all- doesn't matter if you get laid or not. It doesn't make sense to work yourself to death to improve your life. At that point, it just makes more sense to hire a hooker & I probably would if I knew for sure she wasn't getting backed into it in some way.

Any women on this site, feel free to add your own opinions.

[MarcosZeitola]

There are very few men who are a virgin at the age of forty. Even priests will have seen a few escorts by then. The few men who still has not gotten laid at that age, likely aren't "okay with it" at all. They may have been bitter and depressed for years, they may have serious mental issues blocking them, they may be closeted homosexuals with a repulsion for the female form or they may be hideously deformed physically. They are men with serious, crippling issues. You could not make a funny Hollywood comedy about their lives.

[Jester]

I actually liked the movie.

What I liked was that they didnt show the guy as a hopeless schlub. He was masculine, honorable, and motivated to try.

Marcos says even the guys who are unsuccessful with women, have still gotten a little tail somewhere, even if it was nothing to be proud of. True. But in Hollywood, and in storytelling in general, the writer exaggerates reality in order to illustrate. A 40-year-old who has had no serious relationship with an actual girlfriend? I bet there are many of those. "Virgin" is just an exaggeration for purposes of illustration, IMO.

But I also think the movie addressed this somewhat, showing some various "almosts", where sex was available but in some distasteful way. It didnt suggest that the guy was clueless or uninterested in sex.

The only truly unrealistic thing about the movie IMO was the big one. That he didnt go abroad.

[Wolfeye]

Yeah, being a scavenger can be an issue. I could definitely scratch up a part-time job & make enough to do the bar scene until I got some casual bathroom sex with someone that throws it all over the place- but one can catch diseases that way. The thing I'm a bit more worried about is having a kid with "random tail" that turns out to be a nightmare of a "wife" (doesn't necessarily have to be) and mother. I want to get the hell out of this country & having a kid with someone that isn't interested in that or trying to have this kid here despite other intentions (things fall throught & we're stuck here for a while) would be a definite issue.

I really have got to get moving on that, since it seems my life is blowing by like clouds in a hurricane. If only this country didn't make an olympic event out of f***ing things up, I could just stay here. I know other countries have problems, but this one seems to really have causing them as a drive. I look at it & I think "Hey, this is gooing to turn into a passive-aggressive version of the Third Reich & I don't want my woman/kid/grandkid getting hit with it." I don't want issues for my other relatives or other assorted people I don't figure have it coming, but that's their own situation to figure out. I've brought it up & they'll do what they'll do.

Maybe chicks wherever I land will understand that? I wouldn't be entirely suprised if it didn't go that way, but things are the way that they are.

[Ghost]

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[Wolfeye]

There seems to be "divorce" as a general mode of behavior here. The concept goes far beyond just marriage- it's a general "DIVIDE" mandate. Maybe it's a "freedom" thing (as it's interpreted here)? Maybe it's got something to do with that issue with valuing things that seems to be prevalent. The idea that valuing anything is unfree & being controlled by that value- whatever that is called (which IS valuing something).

[Jester]

...The thing I'm a bit more worried about is having a kid with "random tail" that turns out to be a nightmare of a "wife" (doesn't necessarily have to be) and mother. I want to get the hell out of this country & having a kid with someone that isn't interested in that or trying to have this kid here despite other intentions (things fall throught & we're stuck here for a while) would be a definite issue.

You are exactly right. The random tail in the USSA could f**k your whole life up.

If only this country didn't make an olympic event out of f***ing things up, I could just stay here.

Yeah but it does, and so you can't.

I look at it & I think "Hey, this is gooing to turn into a passive-aggressive version of the Third Reich

Indeed it is. Not the real Third Reich, but the Hollywood, Spielberg version.

I don't want issues for my other relatives or other assorted people I don't figure have it coming, but that's their own situation to figure out. I've brought it up & they'll do what they'll do.

"Let the dead bury the dead" - Jesus of Nazareth

Maybe chicks wherever I land will understand that?

Nope.

it's over their dear little heads.

Reality is Man Stuff. Let chicks be chicks. Just be The Man and do what you know you need to do.

Great post. +1

[Wolfeye]

Thanks, Jester. I wonder which would be worse- the real one or the Spielburg one?

[Signet]

Women in other countries aren't going to understand the way it works in the U.S. The same as Marcos doesn't understand all that well, and he actively takes part in a forum that often talks about it (admittedly, it is sometimes hard to extract signal from all the noise). Our media, much of which is global, does not portray the reality of living here. It portrays the idealized version; what would happen if you were beautiful and hopelessly charming, and nobody was neurotic, (overly) narcissistic or afraid of interaction.

On the other hand, not everyone is going to place the same weight on the matter of virginity/experience. This is just reality, even in America. It might not be a gold star on their mental folder for you, but if you really clicked with somebody, it probably isn't going to hurt you that bad.

RE: the movie. I liked it. It's realistic to a degree, except again, it is heavily idealized. Steve Carell is still Steve Carell. He's attractive on the 'nerd' scale, he's noticeably muscled, he's charismatic and not awkward at all in conversation (except when it's about sex), he has great posture and poise, he's very confident, and he acts like he has no sex drive (as opposed to clearly having it, but trying to act like he doesn't for politeness' sake, which is closer to how most people in his situation would be). Most guys who are virgins at that age may not be mopey depressed wrecks 24-7, but they are usually lacking in a few (or more) of these categories, namely confidence and poise. How many of them do you think could converse off the cuff with a teenage girl without having her think he's weird?

[Wolfeye]

Yeah, I hear that. Why would he be talking with a teenage girl though? I mean a forty year old guy chatting up a teenager is a bit off- I remember I didn't realize that I looked much older than I was as a teenage, so I kept getting strange looks when I was approaching a girl my age. What am I going to do? Hit on a 20-30 year old woman while being in high school with no place to go back to without relative in it? It was a bitch.

You know what else pisses me off? That a guy in high school can't bang his teacher in high school (even though that experience would probably serve him well in a real relationship AND thery'd both more or less just be looking for sex). Now it's a whole big thing. A guy that's damn-near grown & physically might be more than a typical man in his 30s can't safely bang his teacher. It's not like I had a huge amount of emotion for any of my teachers, I'm just saying. I'm pissed off that I might have missed out on a decent opportunity for at least a good time because people want to play letter of the law on statutory rape (yet, they don't seem to give much of a shit if the regular version happens).

Really, how is a woman generally going to muscle a guy that's somewhere around a grown man's strength & intellect? With a teenage girl, sure- they COULD threaten her with failing grades or just simple menace. Also there's the point that guy that is looking for a chick THAT much younger than him, it probably means there's something weird about him & he's trying to pull some kind of control-freak type of shit. With a grown woman, she might not be as susceptible to shit like that. I seriously doubt that a middle-aged woman is going to be dragging a guy in high school upstairs by the hair!

Yet, people keep trying to make some kind of equality point about how a 16-year-old guy is in an identical situation to a 16-year-old girl. For f**k's sake- all this talk about diversity & they have such a problem with distinction. It's such an issue that they can't even have a basic degree of accuracy about reality overall. Doesn't matter what the subject is?