Want a happier marriage? Marry a virgin.

[Cornfed]

Wouldn't a righteous man also be a virgin? Most males on here are not virgins. To expect that, then, is kinda hypocritical.

No. It is quite simple; most relationships are asymmetrical where different things are expected of different people. If I work for an employer, he is expected to pay me money, but I am not expected to pay him money. It is not hypocritical to think he should pay me money while I shouldn't pay him money. Similarly I am expected to do work for him whereas he is not expected to do work for me. Men and women are different and bring different things to the table in human society, so for society to function properly there needs to be different expectations of them.

[In2dadark]

Wouldn't a righteous man also be a virgin? Most males on here are not virgins. To expect that, then, is kinda hypocritical.

No. It is quite simple; most relationships are asymmetrical where different things are expected of different people. If I work for an employer, he is expected to pay me money, but I am not expected to pay him money. It is not hypocritical to think he should pay me money while I shouldn't pay him money. Similarly I am expected to do work for him whereas he is not expected to do work for me. Men and women are different and bring different things to the table in human society, so for society to function properly there needs to be different expectations of them.

I was addressing righteousness here, not employer/ employee or buyer & seller. My argument to that would be, whom is the righteous man sleeping with before the virgin & why (taking about this hypothetical righteous man here, not me or most of us)? How am I righteous when I go whoring (spelled sleeping w/ non virgins) & then want to settle down w/ a virgin, hypothetically speaking.

[Cornfed]

I was addressing righteousness here, not employer/ employee or buyer & seller. My argument to that would be, whom is the righteous man sleeping with before the virgin & why (taking about this hypothetical righteous man here, not me or most of us)? How am I righteous when I go whoring (spelled sleeping w/ non virgins) & then want to settle down w/ a virgin, hypothetically speaking.

In functional societies, women are divided into wife class and whore class. Whore class consists not only of hoes but also singers, actresses etc. Men would have sex with them before and during marriage.

[gsjackson]

Does anyone have a suggestion on how to ask a girl if she's a virgin without:

a) Being slapped in the face.
b) Her leaving.

I think most women will find the question offensive even if they are virgins?

I was at second base with a former girlfriend, presuming the fourbagger, when she let me know she was a virgin. Just escalate a little bit sexually, and I'd expect you'd be told pretty quickly.

What if the man won't kiss or do anything sexual with the girl unless he knows she's a virgin, and needs to believe her and trust that she is most likely telling the truth and not just lying that she is a virgin?

So ask away then, without reservation. She needs to know upfront just how different you are, and if she's offended by the question she's almost certainly not the one you're looking for. Presumably there are a handful of (even American) women out there who value virginity, and I imagine they'd be happy to make that known.

As for verification, well that can be done observationally, though there are probably some virgins who, for whatever reason, don't have an intact hymen.

[Ghost]

.

[hammanta]

The difficulty in finding a virgin, at least for me is that I'm not into pressuring them to sleep with me if they were very reserved about it. It would also be very taxing for my sex life if I found a girl I really thought was marriage potential but wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. I'm not into cheating or P4P but I also have to know she is the one and that would take a good amount of time.

Then comes the factor that in reality, she may be very shitty and unimaginative in the sack, even after a little teaching.

So I'm all good if I can find a virgin willing to sleep with me in a reasonable amount of time. I'd say more than 2-3 months and my patience would be running very thin (hey I've gone a lot longer though ) haha

[Jester]

Does anyone have a suggestion on how to ask a girl if she's a virgin without:

a) Being slapped in the face.
b) Her leaving.

I think most women will find the question offensive even if they are virgins?

I have used the term "never been kissed" as a polite joking euphemism about what I want, to keep my guy friends from hooking me up with Miss BeenThereDoneThat.

I used another term when when chatting with a friendly, intelligent 19 year old Cypriot-Armenian friend of a friend on FB. The kind of intellectual, aware girl who wanted off the island. She asked something like "what kind of girl do you want" or "how young do you want." I replied "untouched".

She replied with a

[Jester]

You kind of have to get to know her first. Or you could create a situation in the conversation where she volunteers the information. Saying you want to marry a virgin might do it if she is one (or is a liar.) If she's not, she might say she's not, or just look uncomfortable.

Yeah, get to know her as a friend, ideally around people but with clear flirtation to create some tension, but no kissing or even handholding. Nothing that will publicly damage her pride if she is rejected. Then in a private conversation, out of earshot. Tell her what you want. "I've got this thing, I'm weird, but I'm determined I will only marry a virgin. Problem is, a girl as pretty as you must have had a couple of boyfriends before." If you handle it right, if she doesn't qualify, she may even hook you up with a friend who does qualify.

Although in my case. I usually listen attentively, and let people open up and talk.

[Jester]

Tsar, years ago, I was seeing "virgin" in the profiles of maybe 1/3 of all the young Russian Orthodox women I looked at. It was shocking to me, but there it was.

I think a fellow putting a profile up on a Russian site could even include what he wanted.

DRealm, you can read Chinese, I BET some of the Chinese girls put that in their own profiles, if there is a Chinese-language site. Again, if you put that in a Chinese language profile on yourself, that you are looking for a virgin girl to marry, I can't imagine any FOB Asian woman I know being shocked.

[sea_dragon]

Virginity is not just physical, but mentally as well. If I had to marry a non-virgin, I'd be tortured by thoughts about her previous lovers, whether I was better than them or not. What would she be thinking on her wedding night? Losing virginity to premarital sex is like losing the chance to bond with a truly worthy mate.

I was thinking of Asian women, but chose between Chinese and Japanese. Both have an equal chance of women being virgins at marriage. I'd hate to find out that a woman I married turned out to lose virginity to a man who was not worthy of her love. Even the thought of it is literally torturous. Women who had premarital sex are far more likely to divorce or be in an unstable marriage than women who were virgins at the time of marriage.

[Winston]

I don't understand this fixation on virginity. What's wrong if she had a few partners before you? It's only natural.

No one is infallible. You can't expect that a woman will not make any mistakes in choosing partners that are not for life. Everyone makes mistakes. How can you expect her to save herself for you?

If every guy thought like that, then she'd have to be infallible and never make a mistake. Isn't that unrealistic and unreasonable?

Besides, even if she tells you she is a virgin, how will you know if she's telling the truth or not? How can you be sure? How can she prove that she's a virgin?

Hey maybe you guys should start a marriage site called VirginBrides.com. lol

[sea_dragon]

I don't understand this fixation on virginity. What's wrong if she had a few partners before you? It's only natural.

No one is infallible. You can't expect that a woman will not make any mistakes in choosing partners that are not for life. Everyone makes mistakes. How can you expect her to save herself for you?

If every guy thought like that, then she'd have to be infallible and never make a mistake. Isn't that unrealistic and unreasonable?

Besides, even if she tells you she is a virgin, how will you know if she's telling the truth or not? How can you be sure? How can she prove that she's a virgin?

Hey maybe you guys should start a marriage site called VirginBrides.com. lol

All actions have consequences. It is statistically proven that non-virgin women at marriage are far more likely to cheat and have broken marriages than virgin women at marriage. It is a serious breach of trust and I prefer women who are loyal and faithful. She might even have sexually transmitted diseases or is probably an AIDS carrier. It is disgusting and I do not want to be reminded of her previous lovers, that I might not be as good as them. Would any man have to put up with the thought of their wife possibly cheating on them? Premarital sex results in higher divorce rates and great marriage instability. Mostly those who had a few partners before their husband have poor self-control and mental discipline and probably doesn't see anything wrong with infidelity. There are good decisions and there are bad decisions. If one makes a bad decision or a mistake they would have to suffer and learn from it. Otherwise, they would have learned nothing at all and continue to do whatever they want like animals. If you had a wife you wouldn't want her sleeping around with her ex-boyfriend or some other man she met off the street like some common whore.

[Winston]

What do these studies say about men who have premarital sex? Are they more likely to fail in marriage too? If so, are the percentages the same as with women who have had premarital sex?

[fightforlove]

What do these studies say about men who have premarital sex? Are they more likely to fail in marriage too? If so, are the percentages the same as with women who have had premarital sex?

Probably. But keep in mind, for men, sex is like pizza. For women, sex is like wine. There's no such thing as bad pizza, just better tasting pizza. Once you've found your glass of wine, though, you won't enjoy anything less. That's the risky part of marrying a non-virgin woman. A lot of these woman are probably genuinely and irreversably tainted; and you simply may not be her glass of wine.

Men, otoh, can screw around and still probably enjoy the sex they'll have with their wife; however I've heard stories that many men who whore around will also be a bit psychologically warped, unable to commit and be happy with just one woman. As the article suggests, there may be some simple correlation in the personalities of these people who are unhappy in their marriages, but I have no doubt that premarital sex in and of itself is a factor also. Especially for classical/traditional marriage, virgin women are best suited for this.

[Tsar]

I don't understand this fixation on virginity. What's wrong if she had a few partners before you? It's only natural.

No one is infallible. You can't expect that a woman will not make any mistakes in choosing partners that are not for life. Everyone makes mistakes. How can you expect her to save herself for you?

If every guy thought like that, then she'd have to be infallible and never make a mistake. Isn't that unrealistic and unreasonable?

Besides, even if she tells you she is a virgin, how will you know if she's telling the truth or not? How can you be sure? How can she prove that she's a virgin?

Hey maybe you guys should start a marriage site called VirginBrides.com. lol

When evaluating a female's virginity it was the tradition that she be a virgin for her husband. It is not historically natural that she not be one. It is only typical in modern society that she have (much more than) a few partners before her man or husband.

If a man expects his woman to be a virgin then that's what he expects of a potential bride. Losing her virginity wouldn't be a mistake. It's a decision and it's something that gives another man something she can only give once and that has lasting consequences on her mind, her heart, and for all future relationships.

To leave little doubt that she's a 100% virgin there must be a medical examination, polygraph (lie detector test), some background investigation, and getting her when she's a jailbait. Some people would say it's going a little too far but there must be no doubt. It's like anything else you'd want to have confirmed before entering into any arrangement, purchase, or lasting relationship. If the bride must be a virgin then it must be confirmed that she is a 100% virgin.