Woops! My Filipina is having my baby. Should I marry her?

[djfourmoney]

WTF? You only did it bareback once? Dang these chicks are way too fertile! It's like their bodies are always wanting to pop out babies even when they can't afford them.

Due in 2 or 3 months? WTF? Why didn't she tell you she was pregnant 6 months ago? Why did she wait this long to tell you? That's suspicious.

I thought only Angeles and Manila were polluted. Where were you in the PI?

You should not marry someone unless you truly love them and you believe in marriage. It's a mistake that is very hard and expensive to undo, especially in the Philippines where divorce is illegal.

I wouldn't marry just for the kid, unless you want to enslave yourself to that kid and become his servant and forfeit your life and freedom.

Fertile? I dunno, when I banged my ex bare one night when we were visiting her parents, she got pregnant that night. She was I believe 20 at the time. Age likely has alot to do with it, because it becomes harder to get pregnant after age 35.

I agree with Winston, I would not marry just for the children, you would be a constant complainer like my boy Doug and he just had another child! Talk about being trapped...

[Winston]

Hire a midwife and give birth at home. It's cheaper and more natural then a hospital.

Good idea. I'll suggest it to her.
I forgot about this idea when I talked to her last night. She's giving birth in 3 weeks and she very much wants to use a private rather than public hospital. Now she's telling me the cost will be around 50,000p ($1150). Does that sound reasonable for a private hospital childbirth stay?
(Winston, you said a normal delivery costs about 10,000p. Is that at a public or private hospital?)
I really don't want to pay 50,000 if I can avoid it. And does PhilHealth work with private hospitals?
Right now I only have about $3000 total to live on. I told her I won't be able to be there for the birth but will come in Jan/Feb when I have more free time. I had hoped to have a few thousand more bucks by then.
I will definitely ask her to consider the midwife/home birth idea.

It depends on the hospital. What's the name of the hospital she wants to have it at? 50k is a lot though. How can Filipinos who make an average salary of 300p a day afford that? Tell her you want her to have the baby in a cheaper but safe way.

50,000p would be for a cesarean, not a regular birth. Did she tell you that 50k would be for a normal birth? If so, that's very suspicious. Remember, you don't know this girl, and Filipinos are notorious liars without shame or honor. They do not think it is wrong to lie to a foreign with unlimited cash (in their delusion) to extract some money from him. That is not considered wrong to them. It's just a part of life to them. They don't talk about it openly of course. But it's what they do.

Phil Health can pay 30 to 40 percent of the childbirth costs, but she has to sign up for it 9 months in advance of the birth. Ask her if she did.

Have you seen pics of her pregnant? How much do you trust her? You should PM me pics of her, so I can read her vibes. As many pics as possible is best.

I would not send her 50k though, or even anywhere near that amount, unless everything is verified. 50k is not the cost of a normal childbirth though. No way.

[E_Irizarry]

Good thing I had a vasectomy before I touched down in the Philippines. I had too many Pinays literally begging me to nut up in them hence I did, and Maury Povich had still said to me, "You're not the father!". jajajajajaa

LMAO! E_Irizarry, beer is on me brother! (from a fellow fixed soldier)

Enjoy this one! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGtWssda ... ideo_title

Yeah that is a Maury classic. I have seen that almost two years ago or so. Thanks-again-,dude. LOL

[YoucancallmeAl]

It depends on the hospital. What's the name of the hospital she wants to have it at? 50k is a lot though. How can Filipinos who make an average salary of 300p a day afford that? Tell her you want her to have the baby in a cheaper but safe way.

50,000p would be for a cesarean, not a regular birth. Did she tell you that 50k would be for a normal birth? If so, that's very suspicious. Remember, you don't know this girl, and Filipinos are notorious liars without shame or honor. They do not think it is wrong to lie to a foreign with unlimited cash (in their delusion) to extract some money from him. That is not considered wrong to them. It's just a part of life to them. They don't talk about it openly of course. But it's what they do.

Phil Health can pay 30 to 40 percent of the childbirth costs, but she has to sign up for it 9 months in advance of the birth. Ask her if she did.

Have you seen pics of her pregnant? How much do you trust her? You should PM me pics of her, so I can read her vibes. As many pics as possible is best.

I would not send her 50k though, or even anywhere near that amount, unless everything is verified. 50k is not the cost of a normal childbirth though. No way.

Thanks, Winston.
I didn't get the name of the hospital she wants to use but I asked her about the private hospital we visited when I was there and she said that one would be even more expensive!
(btw, She does not want to do the home birth/midwife thing, and it's not worth arguing with her about that.)

She didn't sign up for PhilHealth until I recommended it to her a couple months ago, so she says she won't be able to use it for 6 months.

I have pics of her pregnant from 2/3 months ago and she was definitely a lot fatter than when I was with her in February. I will try to get new pics and/or get her on Skype to see what she looks like now.

I just found this online that verifies your numbers:
http://www.philippinesplus.com/having-b ... ilippines/
It says a normal childbirth at a private hospital in Iloilo costs only around P15,000 ($357 USD) and a C section can cost up to P60,000.
When your GF was pregnant, did the doctors pressure her to get the more profitable-for-them C section?

[Iawesome60]

Hey guys,

I've been away from the forum since January. How's everybody been doing?

here's my update:
I went to PI for 6 weeks from late January til early March and only dated one girl while there. I met her online and apparently hit it off well cuz she slept with me on the first night. I ended up staying at her place most of the whole time in PI.
I brought protection and used it but ran out one night and rode bareback just once. I've been back in the US since March. Now's she's pregnant and the kid is due in 2 or 3 months. (I'm 95% sure she's telling the truth and it is in fact mine)

I would feel like a real dick if I abandoned her and the kid and didn't at least try to be an available dad for this child. And though I don't love her, she is very sweet and a bit hotter than the average filipina. I could accept taking on the husband/father role in this situation. I've always been single but I think I'm ready to be the family man now.
So should I marry her?

Some additional factors:
- Like Winston, I really hated the negatives of life in the PI. The pollution and the mosquitos were making me sick.

- Her family is relatively middle-class. One of her relatives is married to a European and he sends them a decent amount of money. When I was there, she never attempted to use me or leech off of me. I bought most things, but she would sometimes pay for our food or taxi fare herself.

- However, she's now asking me for $700 so she can have the child at a higher-quality private hospital.

- Before she was pregnant, I told her that I wouldn't be able to bring her back to the US, as I make my living off the books and thus can't prove adequate income to allow her in on a fiance or marriage visa.

- To be a good dad to this child, I'm thinking of spending 3 to 4 months a year with them in PI, and the rest in the US trying to make and save money. We won't have many luxeries this way, but we should just get by.

Any suggestions/advice for a situation like this?

You should marry her if:
-You have a superb relationship with her.
-You know ALL of her strengths and weaknesses!
-If you are a monogamous person or a one-woman kind of man (giving credit to djfourmoney).

You shouldn't marry her if:
-You believe in polygamy.
-You or her has more weaknesses than strengths.

I want to ask you a couple of questions. Where do you want to marry her? If you decide to marry her, where do you want to live? If she wants to live in the Philippines and you want to live in the USA, you have to work something out. It is a wonderful idea to think about your child. Children need to know their mother and father. If children know their mother and father, it makes them happy.

I have another question. Do you feel comfortable giving her $700?

My advice: make the decision that is best to you! I did not vote for your question because I do not want to vote for the wrong answer and it messes you up. Good luck!

[Ghost]

.

[YoucancallmeAl]

I want to ask you a couple of questions. Where do you want to marry her? If you decide to marry her, where do you want to live? If she wants to live in the Philippines and you want to live in the USA, you have to work something out. It is a wonderful idea to think about your child. Children need to know their mother and father. If children know their mother and father, it makes them happy.
I have another question. Do you feel comfortable giving her $700?

If I end up marrying her it will only be in PI and I'll only be there 3 or 4 months a year (I'll have to work and save money in the US the rest of each year). So I'll have the benefits of being married in PI and still being a free man when I'm not in PI. She would prefer to come to the US but I can't get her in even if I wanted to because I can't prove sufficient income to support her.
I sent her $900. I know it's a risk but her explanation for needing that much seemed plausible. She's having a natural birth but is using a private doctor who's not a resident of the hospital she's using. And she needs to pay for the whole hospital stay, not just the childbirth. If she's bullshitting me, I'll find out soon enough and let you know.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Make sure the kid is even yours. Did you do a DNA test?

[YoucancallmeAl]

Make sure the kid is even yours. Did you do a DNA test?

No, but the baby was born Oct.14 and after looking at several pictures, I can be fairly certain it's mine.

[Shazzadude]

If you ever want to leave her but want to remain a father, it's simple. Take her for a holiday to the Hong Kong, then abandon her there (but be kind enough to leave her with a one way ticket to the Philippines), and fly back with your child to the US. As the Philippines is not a signatory to the Hague convention, there will be nothing she can do to get the child court-ordered back to the Philippines.