Why don't theaters have intermissions for bathroom breaks?

[Winston]

Um excuse me guys. I think its against the law to pee in public, and that includes a public theater too. Those platic containers can be used in cars but not out in public. You guys should know better than to make illegal suggestions. Are you guys even civilized? Sheesh.

[pandabear]

Just wear a trench coat. Nobody will notice.

[pandabear]

Here is another idea:

http://medgineer.blogspot.com/2010/12/h ... eatre.html

A friend of mine was watching a movie and had to urinate causing him to miss an important scene. Never wanting to go through this again, he wanted help in developing a strategy to avoid a similarly horrendous experience in the future. His one caveat was that he didn't want to give up his 2L pop while at the theatre (yes, drinking 2L of pop at a go is unhealthy, he doesn't care, move on...). One idea was self cathetrization, but he didn't really like the idea of inserting a tube into his urethra (there is also a significantly increased risk of urinary tract infections, so don't do this...).

Alternatively, he could just make sure he ate salted popcorn while at the theatre. How does salted popcorn help? Well, he had to urinate during the movie because he was consuming 2L of fluid and his kidneys were flushing this extra fluid from his body. However, if he ate salted popcorn, this would increase the concentration of sodium in his blood. To bring the concentration of sodium back down to normal levels, his kidneys would initially have to retain fluid...thereby reducing the amount of urine they produce. Over the next few days his kidneys would excrete the excess sodium and the fluid that was retained with it to bring his body back to normal fluid volume and sodium concentration. However, in the short term, producing less urine while watching the movie means that he would not have to pee until the movie is over.

Of course, there are a lot of reasons why consuming excess salt is a bad idea, but this friend is a healthy guy, so his body can take a short term excess sodium load. So this idea will work well for him.

I still think that the portable drugstore urinal is a better idea. As the population continues to age, and cinemas want to attract elderly customers with prostate issues, then they are going to have to learn to be more accommodating, as they did with lactating women.

[Winston]

Just wear a trench coat. Nobody will notice.

Lol. Come on dummy. Even if no one sees it, they will hear the sound of it. Peeing into a plastic bottle makes a loud sound. Geez. Also, the smell of urine could permeate the theater too. So people can still hear and smell the urine. Lol. Your advice is stupid and could get people arrested. Lol

Furthermore, in asia its too hot to wear a trenchcoat. And also, if youre with a date, she will be appalled if you pee in a theater next to her. It'll make a bad impression.

Youre kidding right? Do you think thats funny?

[Winston]

Here is another idea:

http://medgineer.blogspot.com/2010/12/h ... eatre.html

A friend of mine was watching a movie and had to urinate causing him to miss an important scene. Never wanting to go through this again, he wanted help in developing a strategy to avoid a similarly horrendous experience in the future. His one caveat was that he didn't want to give up his 2L pop while at the theatre (yes, drinking 2L of pop at a go is unhealthy, he doesn't care, move on...). One idea was self cathetrization, but he didn't really like the idea of inserting a tube into his urethra (there is also a significantly increased risk of urinary tract infections, so don't do this...).

Alternatively, he could just make sure he ate salted popcorn while at the theatre. How does salted popcorn help? Well, he had to urinate during the movie because he was consuming 2L of fluid and his kidneys were flushing this extra fluid from his body. However, if he ate salted popcorn, this would increase the concentration of sodium in his blood. To bring the concentration of sodium back down to normal levels, his kidneys would initially have to retain fluid...thereby reducing the amount of urine they produce. Over the next few days his kidneys would excrete the excess sodium and the fluid that was retained with it to bring his body back to normal fluid volume and sodium concentration. However, in the short term, producing less urine while watching the movie means that he would not have to pee until the movie is over.

Of course, there are a lot of reasons why consuming excess salt is a bad idea, but this friend is a healthy guy, so his body can take a short term excess sodium load. So this idea will work well for him.

I still think that the portable drugstore urinal is a better idea. As the population continues to age, and cinemas want to attract elderly customers with prostate issues, then they are going to have to learn to be more accommodating, as they did with lactating women.

You cant do that in chinese countries because the popcorn is always sweet, not salty. For some reason, chinese only like sweet popcorn.

Salted popcorn also makes you thirsty. So does butter popcorn. That makes you drink more.

The best idea is to have intermissions like they did with older movies.

[Adama]

Winston, years ago I encountered this problem with the bladder. My solution is one which you may not like, however. I simply will not consume fluids before going to the theater. Usually I do not drink anything during the theater either. But, if I must have something to drink during the movie, I buy it before I go into the theater, and then I try to wait as long as possible before drinking my drink. But if I still cannot contain myself to wait even for an hour, I will take small sips.

Hey, Winston, I hope you found this explanation useful. Send me a check for $50.

[pandabear]

But, wait a tick. Aren't movies just a part of a larger Mandaean-Jewish Banker Conspiracy to control our minds, anyway? If they want to control our thoughts, then fine. But, I say we draw the line at controlling our bladders! Next time, before going out to a movie, drink a keg of beer, and then urinate and vomit all over the place! That will put those Mandaean-Jewish Bankers in their place!

[pandabear]

And also, if youre with a date, she will be appalled if you pee in a theater next to her. It'll make a bad impression.

It will only make a bad impression if your weenie is teenie. Then, you had better try to hide it under a trenchcoat. Otherwise, it will give her a chance to check out your package, and give her some ideas of what she would like to do later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQDwhAK95ds[/youtube]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQDwhAK95ds

[Citizen]

Some things you could try. Increasing levels of difficulty

1 - don't go to movies. They are overpriced and mostly crap. The new Star Wars was terrible (like you said).
2 - don't take a date to a movie instead interact with her.
3 - build up your mind. You like Star Wars. When that Bib Fortuna guy (or whatever his name was) repeats exactly what Luke says and orders Jabba to let Luke speak Jabba's reply was, "You weak minded fool." or something like that. Mind over matter. If a Jedi is making you pee pee in your pants, control it.
4 - go find a nice steel pot. Wear it on your head like a crown. Walk around telling people that you are the mighty Pa-gorg, Emperor of the Universe, from Fraggle Rock. Demand that you get an entire theater, complete with porta potty, all to yourself. If theater staff refuse call upon the rest of the gorgs to invade and conquer that country for you.

[pandabear]

1 - don't go to movies. They are overpriced and mostly crap. The new Star Wars was terrible (like you said).

That's a good point. For what you spend on a movie, you could go to a brothel.

2 - don't take a date to a movie instead interact with her.

She would probably prefer the cash, anyway.

If a Jedi is making you pee pee in your pants, control it.

Although maybe it is time for our hero to get his prostate checked.

4 - go find a nice steel pot. Wear it on your head like a crown. Walk around telling people that you are the mighty Pa-gorg, Emperor of the Universe, from Fraggle Rock.

And, don't forget the trenchcoat.

[pandabear]

Youre kidding right?

Yes.

Do you think thats funny?

Yes.

[pandabear]

But, seriously, take a look at urinals in Holland.

http://c8.alamy.com/comp/B3CAMA/man-pis ... B3CAMA.jpg



The chicks don't seem to mind

[pandabear]

[pandabear]

Furthermore, in asia its too hot to wear a trenchcoat. And also, if youre with a date, she will be appalled if you pee in a theater next to her. It'll make a bad impression.

Maybe you could date this woman?

http://www.whatsonweibo.com/bizarre-vid ... oes-viral/

Also

http://o.canada.com/life/richmond-mall-peeing

...A photo that has gone viral online of a young boy urinating into a garbage bin at a Richmond shopping mall while a woman holds him is sparking a fierce debate on social media websites over Chinese cultural norms and public etiquette. The image, which appears to show a woman helping a child stand on the ledge of a garbage bin with his pants around his knees while he urinates, is making the rounds on Twitter and Reddit.

“#why would you let your child pee in the mall bins? They have toilets,” wrote Twitter user DonMunnu. Both the woman and child appear to be Asian, and the image has sparked a slew of racist comments online.

The image also drew responses from some people, who identified themselves as being Chinese, writing that the woman and child were likely from mainland China, where they said urinating or defecating in public is acceptable behaviour. “They are definitely from mainland China,”...

...“Many of us have peed in public due to different circumstances and I don’t see everyone making a huge deal about it.”...

If you're in Asia, then peeing in a moving theater should be fine. Asian Pride and all that. Especially since you look passably Chinese.

[pandabear]