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Winston & others: Questions about virginity & desire

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Winston & others: Questions about virginity & desire

Post by adam917 » July 9th, 2009, 8:30 am

Not sure how to word this but I am wondering something. No need to answer if you don't want to...

OK. To put it simply, I am wondering if we all here on HA suffer(ed) the same
fate when it comes to virginity. As most of you here are some years ahead of me
both chronologically and in life experience and we share a common view on social problems of the US, I am wondering if you thought the
same when it came to potential partners and virginity:

I feel that due to a number of factors, both with myself and society,
as well as my own life experiences and beliefs, I despite being 23 and
not having had any romantic experience at all yet, I would prefer that
my first sexual experience be with someone that I mesh well with that
is also a virgin. I am unsure as to exactly why but I think a few
reasons why I have this preference is because A) I don't want to be
compared to any previous sexual partners, B) I want to experience the
positive spiritual feeling that only comes with losing your virginity
with another virgin (I don't know if it is real or not but I bet that
there has to be a very special bond between two virgins that lose it
with each other), and C) I want my first sexual experience to be with
someone I am in love with and that is in love with me.

I often wish I didn't have such an unrealistic preference for this day
and age as I'm not religious and am against the current form of
marriage that involves the government, and therefore am exposed to so
few women that give me the time of day that adding this preference in
would only ensure me zero romance or sex.

I don't know how this sort of thing is elsewhere, but I bet when it
comes to virginity, it's just a fact that people are losing it at
younger and younger ages each decade. I feel that the excessive amount
of casual sexual relationships that are going on greatly cheapens the
experience. Virginity should be seen as a virtue, not a curse.

Not that I have the right to or anything, but I wonder how you felt
the first time you had sex if it wasn't with a virgin and if you cared
at the time or if you wanted to lose yours to another virgin, etc. If
it wasn't with a virgin, did you regret it later on? Has this sort of
thing even crossed your mind? I am glad I basically skipped
traditional secondary school. I can't even imagine what torture it
must be to be negatively treated by peers, both male and female, for
being a virgin or even teased at for having to lose it to a non-virgin
(if the teasers had such a luxury of losing theirs to a virgin).

Here is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard about this whole thing:
a friend of mine says that losing virginity is nothing special and that
especially two virgins doing it is awkward and un-enjoyable. I think
that people who think that way must not care or see how special it is
(even if it physically feels awkward - what DOESN'T feel awkward the
first time around in life?!) to give their virginity to a lover that
is also a virgin. It's truly a shared experience. Even if it doesn't
work out in the long-run, relationship-wise, both partners who lost it
to each other at least have that to look back on and can feel content
that they gave theirs to someone they loved at the time. Perhaps the
partners will still share some kind of bond due to the experience.

Interested in knowing what you think of this and in learning how I can lose the desire of such an unrealistic occurrence of having my first sexual experience be with someone I connect with that is non-religious, not waiting for marriage, and not conservative, yet is a virgin. Is this just some big paradox or something (wanting what often end up being two opposite & incompatible things)?

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Post by Winston » July 9th, 2009, 11:52 am

When I lost my virginity, I was eager to lose it because I was already 20 or 21 and tired of not having any physical experience with girls. So I didn't care whether she was a virgin or not, though it would have been nice if she had been.

I don't think it's awkward for two virgins to do it though. It depends on how "natural" they are at it. When I first kissed or had sex, I was a natural at it cause I had rehearsed doing it in my mind millions of times already. Plus I'm a very deep feeling passionate person anyway, so it came naturally to me. In acting class, I needed no lessons to know how to act. I could do it cause make believe was a natural part of me that was already a part of who I was.
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Post by Mr S » July 9th, 2009, 4:07 pm

I had my first sexual encounter with a Thai bar girl while my ship visited Phuket, Thailand. I was looking to get it over with as I was super horny and all virgins have an energy around them that girls and guys can pick up. So if you are older and still a virgin it's a bit weird in my opinion and it just makes dealing with woman even harder cause you never did it...

You can bang virgin girls in Angeles City, its a bit pricey but I'm sure it would do the trick and allow you to not have any major feelings towards her...
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