To Forerunner:
I stay in hostels and cheap hotels, check out
www.hostelbookers.com &
www.hostelworld.com . There are some excellent hostels in Mexico, like in Cabo San Lucas, Oaxaca, Merida, Mexico City, all over the country, the quality overall is pretty good.
There isn't really a reason to avoid the bigger towns and cities in Mexico, the more people the more variety I say. Check out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cities_in_Mexico for a list of the biggest and smallest cities. If you want small first, try Oaxaca, San Cristóbal de las Casas, and all of the resort towns are not that big (Manzanillo, Mazatlan, Puerto Vallarta, Cabo San Lucas). If you go to Cabo, try out the Burrito Surf place downtown, cheapest place in town with $1 tacos (taste excellent), and there's a great hostel in Cabo
too. The thing is, I haven't been to a lot of Mexico yet, so you're going to have to be the trailblazer and go and see for yourself which places work best for you (and have the best women); after all, if you never explore you'll never know.
It sounds like you want all of the assurances to be made before you go, and I tell you, they won't be. You have to have the courage and will to go out and explore, to find out which places you vibe with best. That definitely doesn't mean that questions shouldn't be asked and answered, just that you probably won't get all the answers that you're looking for before you go.
Check out Falcon's posts about Mexico here on the forum at
viewtopic.php?t=12555, he's been to multiple parts of Mexico and tells a lot about the women there. His taste is not the most average kind of taste but the women he meets and the quality of interactions that he has are representative of most of the country.
For attractions, museums, outdoor activities and archaeological sites to go to go to
http://www.visitmexico.com/ and go through the site, you'll find tons of information there. When I was in Mexico I got ripped off a lot so I didn't have the opportunity to really get out and explore (there are people selling fake tourist deals for activities like parasailing and kayaking, watch out for them and only go to the official Government Tourism Info Centers).
In fact, I'm looking for a travel buddy to go to Mexico with, if you're interested let me know, we can arrange to meet up in Mexico and have a wonderful time there (I can't go to the USSA as I have a history of suicidal ideation).