"People don't love you because you don't love yourself."

[Tamingstrange]

I've noticed that whenever me or other others say "I don't feel loved or wanted" people respond with: "people don't love you because you don't love yourself. You have to love yourself before others can love you."

To me, that type of advice is no different from people telling you that the only reason you can't get a girlfriend is because you don't have confidence. In other words, I think that advise is useless.

[yick]

It's kinda true, for others to love or like you, you have to like or love yourself to a healthy degree. No-one wants to be around someone else who is always pulling themselves down - who wants to listen to that? Who will respect you if that's what you do and no-one is so useless that they're doomed to be unloveable. This is not how life gives out its sweeties to one and all. We all get our opportunities, some get more than others but so what? That's life! If someone tells you that it should be equal then you have been lied to.

I really do think people who end up alone want that, deep down for sure, they might complain about not finding that 'special someone' but in my opinion, anyone who wants a wife and children can find it. I could go to the Philippines or Ghana next week and meet an amazing and beautiful young woman who will marry me and have my kids but but but... so it isn't a shortage of women or eligible women around the world - there's plenty of them!

I run most nights but I will never run like Mo Farah over 15000 or Usain Bolt over 100 meters - is it fair that the amount of running I do in my life I can't reach their heights however hard I try? Part of life is accepting some men get more than others but if you want SOMEONE to love you, she's out there.

[yick]

It's kinda true, for others to love or like you, you have to like or love yourself to a healthy degree. No-one wants to be around someone else who is always pulling themselves down - who wants to listen to that? Who will respect you if that's what you do and no-one is so useless that they're doomed to be unloveable. This is not how life gives out its sweeties to one and all. We all get our opportunities, some get more than others but so what? That's life! If someone tells you that it should be equal then you have been lied to.

I really do think people who end up alone want that, deep down for sure, they might complain about not finding that 'special someone' but in my opinion, anyone who wants a wife and children can find it. I could go to the Philippines or Ghana next week and meet an amazing and beautiful young woman who will marry me and have my kids but but but... so it isn't a shortage of women or eligible women around the world - there's plenty of them!

I run most nights but I will never run like Mo Farah over 15000 or Usain Bolt over 100 meters - is it fair that the amount of running I do in my life I can't reach their heights however hard I try? Part of life is accepting some men get more than others but if you want SOMEONE to love you, she's out there.

You always have something insightful to say, Yick. You've quietly been this forum's best regular poster for over a year now. But remember, this is just pearls before the swine; you're talking to Mr. "I Don't Want To Go Abroad Anymore", Strangelyuntamed. That f***er isn't going anywhere and you know it. I didn't see his username initially but any conversation with him is an exercise in futility.

Thanks man, and I can say the same about you too... you are sorely missed around here!

I agree but still, it can be used for others who might think this way. This guy doesn't want to do anything about his situation because it might take effort and risk. Saying that, isn't that most men? Even Winston and Ghost said they would have never moved abroad if they could have got women in their hometown. I think most men wouldn't dream of looking further afield, they might like the idea but the actual logistics of such a move scares them.

[Tamingstrange]

It's kinda true, for others to love or like you, you have to like or love yourself to a healthy degree. No-one wants to be around someone else who is always pulling themselves down - who wants to listen to that? Who will respect you if that's what you do and no-one is so useless that they're doomed to be unloveable. This is not how life gives out its sweeties to one and all. We all get our opportunities, some get more than others but so what? That's life! If someone tells you that it should be equal then you have been lied to.

I really do think people who end up alone want that, deep down for sure, they might complain about not finding that 'special someone' but in my opinion, anyone who wants a wife and children can find it. I could go to the Philippines or Ghana next week and meet an amazing and beautiful young woman who will marry me and have my kids but but but... so it isn't a shortage of women or eligible women around the world - there's plenty of them!

I run most nights but I will never run like Mo Farah over 15000 or Usain Bolt over 100 meters - is it fair that the amount of running I do in my life I can't reach their heights however hard I try? Part of life is accepting some men get more than others but if you want SOMEONE to love you, she's out there.

You always have something insightful to say, Yick. You've quietly been this forum's best regular poster for over a year now. But remember, this is just pearls before the swine; you're talking to Mr. "I Don't Want To Go Abroad Anymore", Strangelyuntamed. That f***er isn't going anywhere and you know it. I didn't see his username initially but any conversation with him is an exercise in futility.

I can't even post on here without you insulting me. You don't know shit about me. I've actually been improving quit a bit for the past few months, recently got my passport and am planning on traveling to North America within the next couple of months. Managua, Nicaragua specifically.

[yick]

Who's insulted you? Marcos hasn't insulted you - he has just stated fact that you didn't want to go abroad anymore and you blamed us for that if I remember rightly but now you want to go to Nicaragua - well, that's a step in the right direction but you seem to think you're a victim of peoples opinions - why is that?

[flowerthief00]

OP has a point. One's friends and family, well-meaning though they may be, have plenty of bad advice to share.

Does anyone believe that an attractive girl can't find someone to love her unless she loves herself? Absurd. As long as she is physically attractive she'll get 1000 matches on the dating app of her choice no matter what she writes in her profile, no matter who knows or cares whether she loves herself. Confidence is overrated as well, it is true.

[Winston]

What is everyone smoking? How can everyone be this stupid to give such useless and untrue advice??? Everyone is so stupid these days!

[5/1, 11:51 AM] Dusty From Tennessee: I had an argument with a female dating coach lol
[5/1, 11:52 AM] Dusty From Tennessee: She told me a guy only needs to love himself and have purpose to get women

[5/8, 12:18 PM] Winston Wu: Based on what evidence? Did u ask her if she will love u if u love yourself?

[5/8, 12:38 PM] Dusty From Tennessee: I asked her if she has ever loved an unattractive guy because he loved himself
[5/8, 12:38 PM] Dusty From Tennessee: And she didn't reply

[Winston]

On YouTube, Mark Passio says: "The biggest problem Americans have today is LACK of self-love!"

WTF?! That's the STUPIDEST thing I ever heard! Totally FALSE and NONSENSICAL! Americans do not lack self love, they are selfish and love themselves too much. You can't love yorurself anyway, that's like trying to kiss yourself. Doesn't work. Even the great Eastern philosopher Alan Watts said so too.

Yet no one refutes Mark Passio or challenges him on it. They act like it's a universal fact. Why? How can everyone be SOOOO DUMB?! Is everyone A.I. now? Am I the only real human left? Is the universe leaving the door open for me to come and expose his obvious fallacy and false teaching? Why won't anyone else? Why does it have to be me? How can that be? Am I in the Twilight Zone where I can see obvious things but no one else can???!!! INEXPLICABLE!!!

See what I mean @Cornfed? If I'm the ONLY one who can expose obvious lies and fallacies, then I am definitely UNIQUE. Hence you were WRONG! Easy. Simple logic.