Reasons people don't go abroad (motivational factors that need discussing)

[yick]

I am also sure Americans are brainwashed to believe that the worldwide divorce rate is 99.9 percent and has never dropped below even 98 percent since the Fall of Man. As if even Adam and Eve divorced after having Seth, and as if even Noah's family was plagued with divorce since even before the Great Flood of Genesis.

If you move abroad for women - then you're an idiot!

Wherever you go - the women come with their baggage like you come with yours.

Move abroad because you want to do it, and that the country you move to is the one you want to live in - if you think you are going to go 'plop' somewhre and women will be all over you then that's not going to happen.

I like Russian women, but I wouldn't like to live in Russia for any length of time - the country is pretty much at odds for what I consider for any kind of quality of life - it is a violent society, it's dangerous, it gets really f***ing cold and it's very corrupt with lots of low level police harassment - especially if you 'look' foreign and a lot of Russians are racist or very xenophobic - Russian women seem to like me when I have met them but they're not worth what I would have to put up with in day to day life of living in Russia.

I now live in China and though I hadn't given it much thought about romancing Chinese women when I first got here - my tastes have totally changed and I am in country where I gel along nicely - it's not perfect but it is reasonably safe, modern, good transport system and I like the food and the police don't harass me for bribes - and now I like the look of the women.

Some posters on here have admitted they wouldn't have left their home countries if they could gt a decent woman and they wonder why they hate their lives abroad - the first reason and really the only reason you move abroad is because you want to live abroad - that comes with its own challenges - you are a perpetual outsider in many ways and some people just can't handle that. It isn't for everyone - wanting a woman out of it doesn't make it any more worth the move - trust me.

[mattyman]

I've noticed that a lot of people don't move because they feel they'll miss friends and family.

For me, I don't really feel I'll miss a lot (many of my friends have moved away & others have become so unreliable, I'm the one always contacting them, others I have f**k-all in common with & only really meet for convenience). A few friends of mine, as well as my brother have moved abroad. Their lives are INFINITELY BETTER than they were in this shitty town for all the reasons that are talked about in the original articles on this website.

I also know that because of the cost of living I'll have only two choices a) live in a shitty flat in a shitty area of a shitty town with a shitty social scene & be surrounded by druggy scum or b) live at home, lose my independence, have no control over my diet, lose my self respect and my self esteem. Neither of these are attractive choices. This is what I will be left with if I stay at home (well at least in this town).

Anyway, I'm not one of these people who sees a life abroad through rose-tinted glasses nor am I expecting to find women throwing themselve at me, at the same time I'm not pessimistic either and am considering it as an option. I expect a lot of people reading this board are feeling the same.

Now, I have done volunteering in other countries around Europe before, I am learning Spanish, Russian and French, I don't find learning languages a challenge at all (in fact it's been one of the things I've been doing to stay sane!).

[yick]

I've noticed that a lot of people don't move because they feel they'll miss friends and family.

For me, I don't really feel I'll miss a lot (many of my friends have moved away & others have become so unreliable, I'm the one always contacting them, others I have f**k-all in common with & only really meet for convenience). A few friends of mine, as well as my brother have moved abroad. Their lives are INFINITELY BETTER than they were in this shitty town for all the reasons that are talked about in the original articles on this website.

I also know that because of the cost of living I'll have only two choices a) live in a shitty flat in a shitty area of a shitty town with a shitty social scene & be surrounded by druggy scum or b) live at home, lose my independence, have no control over my diet, lose my self respect and my self esteem. Neither of these are attractive choices. This is what I will be left with if I stay at home (well at least in this town).

Anyway, I'm not one of these people who sees a life abroad through rose-tinted glasses nor am I expecting to find women throwing themselve at me, at the same time I'm not pessimistic either and am considering it as an option. I expect a lot of people reading this board are feeling the same.

Now, I have done volunteering in other countries around Europe before, I am learning Spanish, Russian and French, I don't find learning languages a challenge at all (in fact it's been one of the things I've been doing to stay sane!).

I think you replied to the wrong thread.

Basically - living abroad - and I have been doing it now for 10 years - you needs skills, education and adaptability - I was once a bum on the dole with nothing to offer but wanted to move abroad - so I went to university and got a degree, I noticed that if I didn't get a masters degree then I would be hitting a glass ceiling of low pay and limited job opportunities, so I got my masters degree and one of the best universities in the country want me to go and work for them. If I had just kept to having no qualifications - then I could never have made a move abroad despite my good looks and sunny personality.

You might want to move abroad but you need something to offer the country where you are going to - people bag English teaching but that pays bills and lets you live in a country abroad for the long term - I earn a very good living from it - a lot of people work online and make their money that way - bottom line - you need to make yourself viable financially and that means being able to make a living.

Now, if you have a degree, you can go and find a job tomorrow - it will be teaching English - but that's better than nothing - I bet there are loads of Bulgarians who want to live abroad who wouldn't mind having a job where they could teach Bulgarian and live long term overseas. We're extremely lucky that we can do that.

It has nothing to do with pessimism or even optimism - reality will hit the dream sooner or later and you will either sink or swim - most people live abroad for a year or two because it isn't easy - you will never be accepted by the host nation as 'one of them' which is why a lot of people emigrate to places like Australia, New Zealand and Canada - if that bothers you then stay at home - it seems to bother most people, acclimatising to a different culture takes years, it took me two to three solid years to stop having 'I hate China' days and even today - I am nowhere near fully acclimatized.

[statnerd]

I assume we're talking about moving abroad to start a new life, not just taking a sojourn.

To many people, moving to another country sounds monumentally difficult. It might be easy to fantasize about it while watching videos and reading about the country, but most people wouldn't know where to start. How do they get a job overseas? How do they navigate that difficult visa process? What about moving their money there, not to mention trusting that it will be safe? If they don't speak the language (or know its writing system), that's another hurdle.

It often comes down to inertia. When your life is moving in a certain direction, it's difficult to stop and redirect that movement. Unless you have an employer or school handling the details for you and guiding you through the process, just figuring out the process can be overwhelming.

It isn't monumentally difficult. For a job, you can TEFL or if you have enough money, you can just early retire overseas. The visa process? Filling out some forms, paying a fee, in some cases making a bank deposit? There's nothing difficult about that. Beyond perhaps a required bank deposit, you can leave all of your money in the U.S. Credit cards and ATM cards often work overseas. For the language issue, a few words of the local language will take you far. You can also take classes to help you out with a new language. English is known widely the world over.

I definitely agree with you about inertia. A lot of people don't know or really care about much beyond their own town and social circle. Moving to a foreign country would be like moving to Mars. I know of people who don't want to move to a different city simply because they would have to find a new doctor. Can you imagine people like that moving across the world?

[mattyman]

"Move abroad because you want to do it, and that the country you move to is the one you want to live in - if you think you are going to go 'plop' somewhere and women will be all over you then that's not going to happen."
Move abroad because it's something you value & there's more reasons besides meeting women, meeting women it not the sole reason. Lets look at social life; many people who're wanting to move abroad are probably contemplating because they're living in a place that doesn't have many clubs, meets and other ways to meet people and simply want to live in a city that has more to offer. This doesn't always mean moving abroad.

As for languages, not a problem for me, in fact one of the reasons I want to travel and maybe live abroad. The places I'm contemplating are indo-european language-speaking, slavic and romanic. There's tons and tons and tons of resources for learning new languages nowadays that it's surprising the world is so anglo-centric. It's a question of learning those verbs involved with infinitive constructions, & learning a language by 'functions' of parts of speech rather than grammar, integrating grammar. Also adverbs and questions; when, where, how often, how (is said action done; manner), how (big/small; degree), how much/many? That's a ticket to much useful vocab & a great way to organize flashcards.