Should Public Duende be banned?

[Darrell_Johnston]

Winston is a big boy, he can handle disagreement.

[Zambales]

Hi guys,

This is me, PD. I contravened the good rules of netiquette by re-registering here. I have no intention to keep the diatribe up with Winston, as his arguments and mine are self-evident and we don't need to go through this again.

All I wanted to say is THANK YOU to all the long-term Posters who have been the voice of reason and asked for Winston to unban me.

I might sound snobbish now but no, even if Winston were to unban me, I won't be back in here.

I have spent a considerable amount of my time and effort interacting with the wide spectrum of online personas who populate this corner of the Internet. Some of them I agreed with, some of them I respectfully disagreed with.

I have always tried to keep the tones of my original posts or replies to a reasonable level of debate. I have never purported my statements as facts, just opinions, however strong and informed they might have been. The biggest mistake I made was to try to play the "tough love" card too much, not knowing that Winston was unable to get past it and read the genuine intention to help.

Despite all the friction and the insults, I maintain that Winston is an intelligent man with quite a lot to give to the world. He is sitting a bit too much on past laurels, oblivious of the fact that society is changing fast, life is passing him by and he needs to be back on a platform where he has social respect, mingles with respected people (Filipinos, why not, there's so many of them!) and dates women who are much closer to the intellectual and moral (if not spiritual) level he desires.

Indulgence might groom his ego, but indulgence doesn't solve anything in the long run. It's time he gives the best of him to the world. If and when he does, I can am pretty sure (again, not a fact, an opinion!) the right kinds of ladies will take notice, and then some.

So, this is my last post here. I wish all the best to all the good people I had meaningful, if not always smooth, interactions with: Gsjackson, Eurobrat, Outwest, Chanta, Momopi, Pete, Davewe, Yohan, Zambales, Ghost, Marcus Zeitola, and everybody else I am forgetting here. It's been a long and interesting ride and please rest assured that this forum, its contents and most importantly its people did - everything considered - play a major part in triggering the kind of life change I needed.

I discovered HA two days after one of the darkest, worst episodes in my life happened. It was my escapist dream, my secret "plan B". I felt I owed Winston and you guys much of the resolve I mustered, the insight I gained to keep the escapist dream alive, even if it costed me my ex-wife and my London career, and then steer towards this new Philippine adventure.

It is not an understatement to say that, without you, I wouldn't have been able to move on from the terrible things of the past few years, regain some perspective on my life and that modicum of serenity and satisfaction that everyone deserves.

Out of gratitude - and nothing else - I devoted quite a bit of my time writing, debating, helping. I felt I owed Winston the most, as he's the founder and the "poster boy" of the original HA manifesto. To that extent I made one last attempt to help him solve his existential dilemmas starting from the root cause. I am sorry it didn't work out and Winston turned his full-blown rage to me. My formula didn't work. I can only hope something else will, in the near future.

So HA people, once more, thank you for being my mirror (that's what they say about good friends), thank you for giving me the kind of endless ground for debate I needed to know myself better and...change.

Good luck with your lives, your loves, your fun and everything that comes with it. It's been good.

I've just noticed this post as it wasn't here the last time. Perhaps it was edited.

Anyway good luck PD. Might see you in Makati one day.

[Yohan]

Hi guys,

This is me, PD. I contravened the good rules of netiquette by re-registering here. I have no intention to keep the diatribe up with Winston, as his arguments and mine are self-evident and we don't need to go through this again.

All I wanted to say is THANK YOU to all the long-term Posters who have been the voice of reason and asked for Winston to unban me.

I might sound snobbish now but no, even if Winston were to unban me, I won't be back in here.

I have spent a considerable amount of my time and effort interacting with the wide spectrum of online personas who populate this corner of the Internet. Some of them I agreed with, some of them I respectfully disagreed with.

I have always tried to keep the tones of my original posts or replies to a reasonable level of debate. I have never purported my statements as facts, just opinions, however strong and informed they might have been. The biggest mistake I made was to try to play the "tough love" card too much, not knowing that Winston was unable to get past it and read the genuine intention to help.

Despite all the friction and the insults, I maintain that Winston is an intelligent man with quite a lot to give to the world. He is sitting a bit too much on past laurels, oblivious of the fact that society is changing fast, life is passing him by and he needs to be back on a platform where he has social respect, mingles with respected people (Filipinos, why not, there's so many of them!) and dates women who are much closer to the intellectual and moral (if not spiritual) level he desires.

Indulgence might groom his ego, but indulgence doesn't solve anything in the long run. It's time he gives the best of him to the world. If and when he does, I can am pretty sure (again, not a fact, an opinion!) the right kinds of ladies will take notice, and then some.

So, this is my last post here. I wish all the best to all the good people I had meaningful, if not always smooth, interactions with: Gsjackson, Eurobrat, Outwest, Chanta, Momopi, Pete, Davewe, Yohan, Zambales, Ghost, Marcus Zeitola, and everybody else I am forgetting here. It's been a long and interesting ride and please rest assured that this forum, its contents and most importantly its people did - everything considered - play a major part in triggering the kind of life change I needed.

I discovered HA two days after one of the darkest, worst episodes in my life happened. It was my escapist dream, my secret "plan B". I felt I owed Winston and you guys much of the resolve I mustered, the insight I gained to keep the escapist dream alive, even if it costed me my ex-wife and my London career, and then steer towards this new Philippine adventure.

It is not an understatement to say that, without you, I wouldn't have been able to move on from the terrible things of the past few years, regain some perspective on my life and that modicum of serenity and satisfaction that everyone deserves.

Out of gratitude - and nothing else - I devoted quite a bit of my time writing, debating, helping. I felt I owed Winston the most, as he's the founder and the "poster boy" of the original HA manifesto. To that extent I made one last attempt to help him solve his existential dilemmas starting from the root cause. I am sorry it didn't work out and Winston turned his full-blown rage to me. My formula didn't work. I can only hope something else will, in the near future.

So HA people, once more, thank you for being my mirror (that's what they say about good friends), thank you for giving me the kind of endless ground for debate I needed to know myself better and...change.

Good luck with your lives, your loves, your fun and everything that comes with it. It's been good.

I've just noticed this post as it wasn't here the last time. Perhaps it was edited.

Anyway good luck PD. Might see you in Makati one day.

I also have not noticed this post, you are not the only one who thinks it was not visible.

Personally I regret that Public Duende is not with us anymore.

However I am only an ordinary member of this forum - It's up to the admin Winston to decide what to do and what not to do. It is his forum.

[gsjackson]

Winston, just don't cut off the means of getting a PM to PD.

[Yohan]

Winston, just don't cut off the means of getting a PM to PD.

I also tried to send a PM to PD.
However it did not move, still in my Outbox and not marked as SENT.

[Darrell_Johnston]

I thought he gave winston some solid advice. he is not getting any younger....or healthier, the older and unhealthier a man gets.....the less appeal he has to most women.

[Shemp]

It appears no one has yet linked to the shit-flinging thread that led to PD's banning: viewtopic.php?style=21&f=3&t=37682&start=15

PD was triggered, in my opinion, by the idea that his much younger girlfriend doesnt love him only "for himself" but rather is partly motivated by the better life he offers, and that better life can be expressed in money terms. Traditional men would not be triggered, but on the contrary would be happy to know that their wife/girlfriend valued them as good providers. But PD is not traditional, but rather a weak modern man, raised in a matriarchy, who depends on female appoval for his sense of self-worth, and he can't be secure of women's approval unless it is for something that only he has (she has to love him "for himself") versus material benefits which any man with money could offer. A lot of other men in that allowance thread are similarly insecure and desperate for women's approval in the form of free sex, and react with the same hostility as PD to the notion of paying women for sexual access. Do these men also resent paying dentists, lawyers, barbers and other service professionals?

Winston was triggered because there is some truth in PD's critcism. Winston is definitely making things difficult for himself by not working on his appearance (lose weight, gain muscle, more fashion sense). But PD was wrong that Winston can never get a girlfriend in Europe even as he is now, especially if he is willing to open his wallet. He got GF's there in the past for free many years ago. He's gotten older, fatter and less attractive since then, but so have those women he met many years ago. In fact, they've probably dropped more in sexual market value. A 50yo man willing to spend money should not have much difficulty finding a 50yo woman in Ukraine who wants to be with him.

[Darrell_Johnston]

Does winston want to flash his wallet to meet women though?. Isnt he yearning for an authentic relationship?

[Falcon]

I have personally met PublicDuende before. He is a very knowledgeable, well-read, hardworking man who is one of the top contributors to this forum. His insights are invaluable. Even if some of you don't like a few things about him, there is no reason to ban him.

[HappyGuy]

The whole thing makes Winston seem like he has a screw loose. To a lesser extent, PD seems to have popped a rivet too.

[Cornfed]

Yeah, the whole argument was stupid. Winston was suggesting that he go settle down in Europe on a shoestring budget and find a white girlfriend. PD was suggesting that he was unlikely to succeed. That should have been the end of the matter, but they both doubled down and went into absolutist mode. PD is to some extent at fault. After the first couple of posts he should have said something like “OK Winston, I think this might be a waste of your time and money for the reasons previously given, but it is your time and money and maybe you are right and I wish you all the best”. He didn’t do that for some reason.

[Shemp]

PD is to some extent at fault. After the first couple of posts he should have said .. He didn’t do that for some reason.

I gave the reason above. PD was being triggered by that girlfriend allowance idea, because deep down PD suspected his own girlfriend was partly motivated by material benefits, so he freaked out and attacked everyone in sight.