Why do many Europeans think America is more friendly/open than Europe?!

[Winston]

Check this out. I met this female backpacker from Spain at a hostel in Hong Kong. After that we exchanged a few emails. Apparently, her experience is the inverse of ours. She thinks Hong Kong and even San Francisco, CA are more friendly and open than many places in Europe. WTF? How can that be? HK and SF are among the most rude, hateful, cold, unfriendly, negative places I've ever been to. So how can this be? It seems impossible. Is the universe playing a practical joke on us? Or is this some phenomenon where everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side and experiences just that? It seems that when you go abroad, the vibe you carry from your home country, which pegs you as a foreigner, seems to bring out the "friendliness or openness" of the people there, especially if you are of a different race and culture. What do you think?

This Spanish woman isn't the only European to have told me this. I've met several other Europeans who have said the same thing, that they found America more open, friendly and free than in Europe. So this is more common than you think. In contrast, we Americans tend to think that Europe is a lot more open, friendly and sociable than America is, especially when it comes to talking to strangers. Not just us HAers, but many mainstream American report that too. Funny how that is huh?

Btw this isn't always about race or gender either. As you can see below, she mentioned that some Chinese guy she knew also found HK to be friendly too. That's very odd and unimaginable.

Here is her email to me. When I read it, I had to wonder if she was joking or in a parallel universe from me. lol

Hi! So you are better?
People here in the hostel and also in the street, in fact it's very easy to date for a woman , men just look at you to talk to them
Also when I was visiting the city with chinese friend (man) and he asked to people in the street, people just reply him for a while, with many information and enthusiasm, and he also think people it's friendly and open.
I don't think people it's friendly everywhere, there are places like France or German , even in Spain people there are not so communicative
Also I was in Budapest and people was so unkind..
Definitely everybody has differents experiences when travelling
Take care
Blanca

[Winston]

@Darrell_Johnston you told me about this phenomenon too. I remember. And you even said that when you went to the USA, you found people to be very open and friendly too right? Do other Europeans or Irish travelers tell you that too?

[onethousandknives]

I think a lot depends on state to state and even neighborhood to neighborhood in USA, how unfriendly or friendly people are. One vlogger I watch, white guy living in TW, said Chiayi was the worst place he's ever been to in TW and absolutely hated it. You live in Chiayi, if Chiayi is the only impression you ever have of TW, you'd say it sucks. There's still obviously how the country acts a whole, but I've even been surprised by how nice and caring and open people were just 100 miles away from me in different states in USA. I feel like my life would be a lot different, not perfect, but a lot different if I lived in a different state (my family considered and even bought a house and kept it for like a week or something in a different state...) in USA.

A lot too with USA, that can throw off foreigners or anyone for that matter with first impressions is depth in USA. Superficially people in USA are very friendly, with smiles and greetings from shopkeepers, etc, that makes USA seem friendly, and as a generality most people in USA don't walk around like -_- like they might other places. But finding relationships with depth is hard, as due sometimes to keeping up illusions everything is great and perfect, everyone is trying to keep that illusion up and can't deeply connect. And yeah, I'd say anywhere as a foreigner, stuff is different, people treat you different, your social awkwardness will be to some extent written off for just being foreign, etc. The other thing too, any person willing to befriend a foreigner, I think in any country, generally isn't a "normal" person, I'm definitely not and I've had many foreign friends here in USA, so weeding out normal people gets you people generally with more openness and depth and some eccentricity as well.

Oh yeah, she speaks of being in a hostel. One thing I think with hostels is they're good environments for socializing, in any country. You're sharing living quarters and common areas, they're great places to socialize. It'd be a lot different experience for her if she stayed at say, a Days Inn in the middle of nowhere alone.

[Darrell_Johnston]

@Darrell_Johnston you told me about this phenomenon too. I remember. And you even said that when you went to the USA, you found people to be very open and friendly too right? Do other Europeans or Irish travelers tell you that too?

Yes, I dont know anyone who went to the states and didnt enjoy it.

And I dont know an American who went to Ireland and didnt enjoy it, even though every Irish person I know thinks that Ireland is the sittest country in the world

[Winston]

@Darrell_Johnston
Not so. Lots of europeans and russians and foreigners told me they didnt like the USA. Some were even traumatized by the US. I collected their quotes and testimonies here.

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page32.htm

@onethousandknives
Who is the white vlogger who said chiayi sucks? Can you send me the link? I thought no one had the guts to criticize Taiwan. It seems to be sacred to everyone for some reason. The taiwanese kindness gives everyone such a high respect for them that they dare not say anything negative about them.

There is a vortex near chiayi called tropic of cancer. Its a very negative miserable dark energy. But some taiwanese claim its a positive vortex. Go figure.

[Darrell_Johnston]

@Darrell_Johnston
Not so. Lots of europeans and russians and foreigners told me they didnt like the USA. Some were even traumatized by the US. I collected their quotes and testimonies here.

What's not so? You asked me if i or any of my Irish friends enjoyed the states and i answered your question with a personal statement and what my friends all told me.....and you are saying it's not so?

I wouldnt deny that other people didnt enjoy it....it all depends on personal experience and where they went , what they did and who they met.

You told me that personal experience trumps what people online say....yet here you are telling me to believe stories on the net over my own experience

What i would like to know is.....do you only harvest stories of people not enjoying it? Would you paste my testament or the testaments of my friends all over the internet ?

[Yohan]

Check this out. I met this female backpacker from Spain at a hostel in Hong Kong. After that we exchanged a few emails. Apparently, her experience is the inverse of ours. She thinks Hong Kong and even San Francisco, CA are more friendly and open than many places in Europe.
.....

It is a big difference if the backpacker is a young woman or a man.

Of course every female in USA is overrated anyway. If a foreign woman is showing up anywhere in USA and traveling around for holidays and she is young and looks nice and is talkative, she will get a wonderful impression about the States.

However if you are a simple man, US-citizen, work many hours with moderate income and little vacation, you will get a totally different response if you try to talk to any US-female. You will be ignored... belittled... as you have not much to offer...

[Winston]

She was a spanish woman about my age. Average looking. But she said she got attention from men in hong kong and could date them easily if she wanted to.

However ive talked to other western female backpackers in HK too and they agreed that people were rude and pissed off and grumpy there too. So its not just about me. You see cold unfriendly rude upright faces all over HK, especially downtown, even if they dont see you or notice you. Thus its objective. So its odd that this Spanish woman didnt notice it and thought everyone was friendly and kind. Very weird. Is this some cosmic joke?

[Winston]

I get the sense that if youre from abroad and of a different race and its your first time there, you carry a vibe that tells people to be friendly to you to give you a good impression. Its something subliminal and subconscious. Perhaps the gods that govern the region or guardians or energy beings or collective consciousness give newcomers a warm welcome. So they direct everyone you meet to be especially friendly to you. Its their way of welcoming you. And they can do this because people are connected to a hive mind or consciousness that directs them unknowingly.

But as time goes on, the longer you stay, the less hospitable strangers are to you and you eventually no longer have a guest status. So the gods or entities or guardians eventually get used to you and just treat you like a local or expat. Unless of course they like you for some reason or have some use for you or if they can feed off you, then they help you to stay and help you find a job and a partner to settle with.

That's a pattern ive noticed. But once you trash a place like i do with america and taiwan, and tell the world how much you hate it there, these guardians dislike you and give you bad luck and no more lucky coincidences or warm greetings anymore. Thats what it seems like. Thats why different people have vastly different experiences, even if they look similar.

[Darrell_Johnston]

make your mind up.....is it gods or entities or guardians ?

[Ghost]

.

[Winston]

make your mind up.....is it gods or entities or guardians ?

I don't know. Could be any or all of them. There are many types of organic beings, not just one, and have multiple purposes. See the videos I posted in the other thread about archons/demons/djinn. Also see the podcasts and lectures by Rosemary Ellen Guiley on YouTube. She seems to be the top expert in this field, with both book knowledge and hands on practical field experience as well.

viewtopic.php?f=14&t=14066

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_ ... pfreload=1

She also has many great books and encyclopedias on Amazon too.

https://www.amazon.com/s?url=search-ali ... len+guiley

But in my post above I was talking about how each place has an energy field or collective energy field, which is a sort of consciousness or mass consciousness. And thus could have its own will and consciousness too.

[Winston]

Americans can appear to be quite friendly. In some regions, they are very outwardly nice. It's like this in many countries.

Go beyond the superficial and people are much more closed off and cold.

A lot of foreign people get confused too because North Americans especially are very outwardly polite. And it is this politeness that people confuse with friendliness.

For example, a lot of newbies to Asia will encounter beggars and make eye contact while waving their hands to show they aren't interested. The beggars take this as a hook, thinking they are feeling under pressure to give. The traveler is just showing politeness. (The locals just ignore the beggars unless they are going to give.)

Yeah and that's the difference between us and a lot of modern people in America. Modern people only like superficial greetings and are happy with that and don't need to go beyond that. They don't need a genuine conversation. So they will not mind when others are the same as them. If both parties only want a superficial hello and no more, then both parties will not complain, and will not relate to us. But are the opposite. We don't like superficial greetings and hellos. We prefer real genuine conversations. It doesn't have to be deep or intellectual, as long as it's a genuine conversation with feeling and authenticity.

When Americans say "hello or how are you" they don't really care how you are. It's just a greeting. It's fake. And a bit deceptive since they ask a question without really caring about the answer. Many Europeans and foreigners notice this and cite it as something they dislike about America, even if they enjoy their trip there.

An East Indian guy who worked for Microsoft that I knew long ago told me this about superficial American greetings.

“Yes, very. I agree with your late peruvian friend in that I've found for the most part, most American's have a friendly manner that may or may not reflect how they really feel.

So someone coming here from another country (say India ) would think they're the friendliest people in the world. I thought that too, when I walked out on the streets on my first day in the US and had total strangers smiling at me and saying "Hello, How do you do".....but I quickly realized that they were just 'being nice' and had no earthly interest in hearing my answer.

In India, it is rather different - people aren't as quick to smile and say hi, but they are much more likely to invite you home, or do other things that help cement friendships quicker than I've seen happen here in the US. I know that's generalizing, and I'm not an expert on cultural phenomena by any means, but there definitely is a discernable difference.

Just my .02”

[Winston]

Actually Darrell,
Usually Europeans tell me the following observations about America, once I get them to open up about their true feelings that is. Remember that people will only say polite things to strangers but when you get them to open up, they tell you their deeper feelings and observations.

1. America has beautiful landscapes, nature, open land, fresh air.
2. Food tastes great but it's unhealthy and fattening and has too many chemicals. Thus there's too much obesity in America.
3. People are kind of fake and inauthentic.
4. People have big egos that they puff up, and are very pompous. There's no humility or modesty.
5. They don't like being forced to always have to give a positive response to the question "How are you?" Because if the answer is always "good or great" then what's the point of asking the question? It makes no sense and is forced and fake.
6. They like places with culture in the US like New York City, New Orleans, San Francisco, etc, and spectacular places like the Grand Canyon too. But the rest of the US is boring and bland, especially the US suburbs.
7. It's hard to find anyone to have intelligent meaningful conversation with. Most people just say "Hey. What's up?" and that's it. Conversation doesn't go much beyond that.
8. People are superficial and polite. Friendly but not your true friend. Americans lack sincerity, warmth and closeness.
9. The patriotism is too pompous and egoic, yet in reality Americans know nothing about other countries.. Americans think they live in the greatest country yet they know nothing about other countries.
10. Americans are rude and bossy. They like to order people around and push people around. That is uncivilized.

Chinese immigrants and tourists usually observe and say the following about America.

1. People are easy come, easy go. Their friendliness is fleeting and superficial.
2. American families lacks family values. Children don't respect their parents, and don't respect their elderly the way they do in Asia.
3. People act fake to the extreme. Not natural or down to earth at all.
4. Americans are very selfish and self-centered. They only think of themselves.
5. Americans lack any humility or modesty. They are too arrogant. They are braggarts and know-it-alls with big egos.
6. Americans are not your true friend. They may act superficially nice but if you need help they don't care about you. There's no loyalty or stability in friendships. True friends are very hard to find.
7. American suburbs and neighborhoods are inconvenient. You need a car to get everywhere. You can't walk to the supermarket or get food easily around the corner. Public transportation sucks.
8. The neighborhoods have nice houses but are very isolating. You feel stranded at home if you have no friends.
9. American positivity is fake. Just a show and facade.
10. Americans live for short term pleasure and gratification. They don't look at the long term.

So you see, foreigners do tend to have similar observations about America that I do. But you have to get them to open up and make them feel like they can share negative observations around you without being politically correct.