publicduende wrote: ↑August 10th, 2018, 1:01 am
Well, the bitch-slap is starting to work...delayed effect. LOL
I am a reasonable man and I understand where you were coming from. It must have been shocking to see you major fantasy of leaving Angeles City for a more sophisticated cultural and social life in "old Europe", pissed all over and set on fire. Reality hurts.
I have never claimed absolutes and never generalised. In fact I have been "specialising" my advice for YOU, Winston. Europe might be fun to visit for a few days, churches, museums and old town cobbled street and all that stuff, and you might enjoy a few semi-casual encounters with fellow tourists and maybe one or two locals.
Yet, people will consider you as the grown-up man you are and ignore or reject you when they realise you don't have your s*it together. You say it's not important. It might not be so important on very superficial encounters, the ones you claim as the "backbone" of your social success abroad, but it becomes very important as soon as you want to, or need to, develop more stable social connections and relationships. Including a relationship with a woman.
I have never said that you don't have friends or you can't make friends. I have seen you go out with a bunch of people in Angeles. Whether they are you true friends or not, it's your problem not mine. If you move to a reasonably large European city, say Wroclaw in Poland or Florence in Italy, you're bound to find a few people to talk to.
Yet - and that is my whole point from the onset - they will be likely to be short-lived encounters. Maybe enjoyable and intense in terms of the conversation had, of the points exchanged, yet short-lived. After a while, say 2/3 months, you would invariably start to feel bored and would naturally seek deeper and more stable connections.
And that's where your trouble would begin. The more you will leave your "happy tourist" bubble and want to interact with the locals, the more frustrated you will grow at their lack of attention, indifference or outright rejection. Especially as you realise that, whatever you say about how you feel inside, you are indeed an adult and you won't be able to do many of the things you did 10/15 years ago. Yes you might find the occasional conversation with a smart 20-something, but try to ask her out hinting at something non-occasional and non-platonic, and you won't like the answer.
If you ever moved to Europe, your best strategy would be to seek companionship of the elderly: our welfare and social security system is still mostly OK so you will find a lot of well-educated, smart and healthy retired man and women, retired teachers or academics, retired doctors and businessmen, with a comfortable house to live in but nobody to share their time with. They alone might be a goldmine of cultural/intellectual connections for you, Winston. They will be happy to let you visit or meet in a pub or coffee shop - you may end up seeing them more than their own kids! They will be happy to share their knowledge and wisdom and converse about whatever topic you find of common interest, and learn from each other.
Most important, you will find
real gratitude for you on their side, because it will be evident that you're brightening their lives. Who knows, some of them may trust you enough to introduce you to a neighbour, a relative or a friend who is a single woman.
Another thing you might do is connect with a charity organisation to do voluntary work, not necessarily a vocational one. This way, you will immediately gain a social circle of people who are devoted to doing good to other people, so statistically less likely to be the kinds of bitchy, judgmental and selfish women we all bemoan.
By the way these things would work all the same in the Philippines and anywhere in the world.
@publicduende
First of all, I can enjoy sightseeing more than a few days. I can enjoy it for several months. I don't know why you think sightseeing and cultural experiences are only for a few days. There are perpetual travelers who travel for months or years. I once knew a Polish girl who hitchhiked for 5 years around the world with little money.
Why do you use the term "bitch slap"? That's a bad sign. Who are you to bitch slap me? You aren't my parent or teacher. Do you actually enjoy hurting people? If so you must be sadistic. I can tell. Rock can see this about you too.
What do you mean reality hurts? What reality? Reality can hurt. But your words are your opinion, not reality. Do you understand that?
Of course it hurts when you try to dash my dreams and hopes. How would you like it if someone dashes your dreams and hopes? Would you like it? If not then why do you do it to others? Do you have no empathy or compassion? Especially since you have no right to try to dash my hopes and dreams. It's both cruel and immoral. And unwarranted as well, because you cannot predict which girl will like me and which won't. No one can predict that. Not even Einstein or Tesla or any other genius can. Certainly NOT YOU PD.
Why do you enjoy hurting people? Isn't that sociopathic and sadistic? You shouldn't get off on being cruel to others you know. That's kind of sick and twisted.
Btw, yes you did make absolute statements. Maybe you forgot that you did. But you did. I saw them in the other thread. There are several posts where you make absolute statements.
The thing is PD, you have no right to make cruel statements like that, even if you really believe them. No one, not even the smartest man in the world, can say something like:
"X person will not get any dates or friends in X country. I am certain of it."
You can't say that about any man. Even the smartest man in the world would not say that. No one says that. Why? Think about it. Because it's impossible for you to know whether anyone can get dates in any country or not. That's not for you to know. Even the smartest man in the world cannot know that.
I've had girlfriends in the US even, about three of them. And in Russia, I found some girls that really liked me after about 5 or 6 months of failures and disappointments and empty dates. I finally met 3 girls that liked me: Alina, Marina and Jenya. You remember Marina, the blonde. I wasn't attracted to Alina much. But I was very attracted to Marina and Jenya. Earlier there were two that liked me too, but I wasn't into them.
So you see, in the US and in Russia, I've found attractive girls that liked me. In my last trip to Russia, it took 5 or 6 months to finally find that. So it took a long time, but not impossible. Do you understand? Logic says that if I could find something before, then I can find it again.
And yes, you did make absolute statements where you said it was impossible for me to get any dates or girls to like me in Europe. So you did make absolute statements that were invalid and cruel, and you ought to retract them and offer an apology too. Such statements are both cruel and immoral. And you should not be allowed to do that. Not to me or anyone else. Such behavior should not go unpunished man. You ought to be temporarily banned 5 days while you think about the immorality and cruelty of what you did.
Instead of saying "X person will never get any dates or find any girls that like him in X country" why not put it like this:
"Winston, it will not be easy to find a pretty girl in Europe who likes you for you. It's a longshot and the odds are against it. But who knows. Anything is possible and you could get lucky, since you have gotten lucky before. But the odds are low and it will not be easy. So be prepared for that."
So how much more tactful and reasonable and honest that sounds? That's how normal men talk. They do not say that "it's impossible for x person to get any dates or girls in x country" etc. No one talks like that.
Please think about it and meditate on it. I ought to ban you for 5 days so you can meditate on the wrongness of what you did. Your cruelty, immorality, and unwarranted statements. Prisoners in jail also reflect on the wrongness of their ways. So should you PD. Perhaps some jail time would do you good.
So what will it be? Will you retract your absolute statements and apologize now like any good honest man would? Or should I ban you for 5 days so you can meditate and reflect on your wrongful cruel words and behavior?
Choose one please.
I don't understand how you can be president of the rotary club in Manila. Shouldn't that require leadership skills and a balanced fair mind?
Also, I do not see you as being very credible or wise, because:
1. You are a feminist right? You admitted it before too. What does that mean exactly?
2. You believe that racial differences don't exist, only cultural differences do.
Hence I definitely would not consider you credible nor would I consider you an advisor. My real advisors like Rock and Mr S for instance, can easily see that racial differences exist. It's a no brainer. We all instinctually know they do. So you seem to deny your own instincts, which is a bad sign. Therefore I definitely don't hold your advice in high esteem, especially since you enjoy being cruel and hurting others. Even Rock can see that you do. That's the mark of a sadist, not a true friend.
Do you claim to be neutral and unbiased? Do you not like Asian men dating white girls? You should admit that you have some bias. You certainly don't sound neutral.
Anyway, I've been itching to go back to Europe since 2006. So I gotta scratch my itch and go back there at some point soon. Or else the itch will always itch. You understand that? Also I haven't been able to control my life since 2012 so I've lost like 5 or 6 years already being stuck in Taiwan constantly, because some force wouldn't let me go to China to find a wife. Perhaps for my own good. It could be that God or my guardian angels knew that if I had gone to China and married one of my prospects back in 2012, I would be miserable now and regret it and feeling like a prisoner now with no freedom, and living a life of servitude to wife and family. It certainly would have disallowed me from going back to Europe to explore to my soul's desire. So perhaps the universe had a reason to thwart my plans. Did you consider that?
You keep assuming that I'm a settle down type of guy. But ask
@momopi. He said that some people are clouds, some are grass and some are trees. Cloud people are not meant to settle down, they always live for new adventures and experiences. They are like nomads. I probably am a cloud type. See the thread about that here:
viewtopic.php?f=40&t=12729
Also, I don't know if you believe in reincarnation or not, but I feel like I have past lives in Europe and I want to discover who I was and find what my roots were again. It's a soul desire you may not be able to understand. But don't think that just because you don't understand or relate to something, that it must be nonsense. Humans tend to reject what they don't understand. Your third eye or pineal gland is probably not open either, that's why you are not spiritual at all and act like a man with low consciousness. No offense. But you are what you are. You definitely are not a higher consciousness man for sure.
Btw I've been rejected by thousands of girls. I am used to it. It's nothing new. Why do you act like I will be bothered by it or frustrated by it? I'm almost numb to it by now. It's not gonna make me unhappy or hurt me. Especially since I am more happy and alive in Europe. I know myself better than you do you know.
Btw besides local men, there are always eccentric expats in Europe who like to talk to people too. Those types will always talk to me. Kind of like Jester. You met him so you know what I mean. He can talk your ear off if you don't stop him. There are many travelers who are like that who will talk your ear off at a pub or wherever. Lots of eccentric types of people are traveling too you know. And they will always talk to a stranger.
Not all people you meet during traveling are short lived. Some turn into real friendships. A certain percentage do. That's my experience.
Yes you are right. Elderly people are a lot easier to talk to and relate to, unless they are grumpy. Older people are a lot more down to earth and like talking to me because I'm an old soul and good listener. They aren't airheadish and are more authentic since they aren't trying to be cool or fit in or be liked. I also get along well with older people who have a lot of travel experience and stories to share. I've met all types of people.
Also I don't mind spending some time alone too. I can be a hermit or loner for a while too, if I need to. It's nothing new to me. It's not like I can't handle that man. Don't you know that? I have a lot of experience in life you know. I'm not a newbie at all this. And I know myself very well too.
Look man. The reason I went to Philippines was because I had made three long trips to Russia already and needed a change of place. That was my thought back in 2006. Now I feel the same way about Asia. Been there too long since 2007. Need a change of venue again, just like I did in 2006 when I decided to try SE Asia and Philippines instead of Russia again. Do you understand? If I didn't return to Russia because it was time to try something new in 2006, why can't I feel the same again this time? It's time to try something new. If someone like me or Mr S are tired of SE Asia, why do you want to try to force us to stay there? Why can't you let us follow our heart? Spiritual teachers all say we should listen to our feelings and heart and soul. They are probably right. Why do you think you are more right than they are? Geez.
Yes I agree that joining a charity or volunteer work might be good in Europe for meeting people and getting involved in the community. But what about joining an amateur theatre troupe? I love acting. So since my confidence will be higher in Europe, it's something I can pursue again. Plus I heard that Prague has a lot of extra work in American films. I've done extra work before, it's easy and fun and you get paid at least minimum wage.
However, I can enjoy sightseeing alone too and start conversations with strangers in cafes and restaurants. I am content doing that too. I've done that before and can do it again.
Anyway please try to understand me and be reasonable and stop making extreme statements and come to a middle ground. You also gotta lower your pride and man up and apologize for your cruel, hurtful statements that are unwarranted and could have been expressed much more tactfully. Ask yourself how YOU would feel if someone made such cruel hurtful statements to you too. Then perhaps you will understand why that is wrong to do.
Thanks.
P.S. - Btw can you please unblock me from your WhatsApp so we can talk on the phone about this and resolve this disagreement? Blocking me there is cowardly. I didn't block you here in the forum, so why should you block me there?