To Publicduende: Photos of my dates/female companions in Washington to prove you WRONG!

[publicduende]

@Winston

@publicduende
First of all, I can enjoy sightseeing more than a few days. I can enjoy it for several months. I don't know why you think sightseeing and cultural experiences are only for a few days. There are perpetual travelers who travel for months or years. I once knew a Polish girl who hitchhiked for 5 years around the world with little money.

I think now you have established that you have plenty of money and you will be able to travel perpetually, without needing to ever work again, things can be put in perspective. You can enjoy visiting any country in the world, try to approach any girl you want, and visit any brothel you want. That's good, more power to you.

Unfortunately, none of that is likely to give you the kind of social respect that leads to the long-term, committed relationship you seem to want. Women want stability and loyalty and if you keep travelling around looking for new discoveries and adventures, that doesn't reconcile well with your (amd their) desire of something stable.

Again, not making it sound like an absolute but, if I were you, I would be seriously considering settling. Unless you start shelling out the real money and attract the gold digger type, I don't see how you can be happier "trying your luck" when the odds are so thin and ending up with prostitutes most of the time.

Why do you use the term "bitch slap"? That's a bad sign. Who are you to bitch slap me? You aren't my parent or teacher. Do you actually enjoy hurting people? If so you must be sadistic. I can tell. Rock can see this about you too.

I use that term with irony, with a "LOL" at the end. Don't over-dramatise, please.

What do you mean reality hurts? What reality? Reality can hurt. But your words are your opinion, not reality. Do you understand that?

Of course it hurts when you try to dash my dreams and hopes. How would you like it if someone dashes your dreams and hopes? Would you like it? If not then why do you do it to others? Do you have no empathy or compassion? Especially since you have no right to try to dash my hopes and dreams. It's both cruel and immoral. And unwarranted as well, because you cannot predict which girl will like me and which won't. No one can predict that. Not even Einstein or Tesla or any other genius can. Certainly NOT YOU PD.

Why do you enjoy hurting people? Isn't that sociopathic and sadistic? You shouldn't get off on being cruel to others you know. That's kind of sick and twisted.

Btw, yes you did make absolute statements. Maybe you forgot that you did. But you did. I saw them in the other thread. There are several posts where you make absolute statements.

One more time, I didn't make absolute and generic statements. If anything I did the opposite: my advice, my opinions are "specialised" on you, your specific situation. Or at least what I know about your specific situation. After several posts mentioning it, I now learn what I had suspected: that you have money or investment stashed away and you won't need to have a full-time work to cover your daily living.

That is a new element that justifies and legitimates your willingness to travel more, yet it doesn't change the fundamental fact that you're an adult and won't get much more than what you already have (pros and cons) unless you change your mindset towards more stability.

The thing is PD, you have no right to make cruel statements like that, even if you really believe them. No one, not even the smartest man in the world, can say something like:

"X person will not get any dates or friends in X country. I am certain of it."

You can't say that about any man. Even the smartest man in the world would not say that. No one says that. Why? Think about it. Because it's impossible for you to know whether anyone can get dates in any country or not. That's not for you to know. Even the smartest man in the world cannot know that.

I simply told you the truth. You are the one who jumped up with all sorts of insults and personal attacks. You even mentioned a very delicate episode of my personal life to justify your theory about why I am being "cruel" or "sadistic" to you. Now, that hurt me but not that much since I have fully moved on from it. There is nothing I could have done to prevent what happened to me. Yet, in your case, I get the feeling that much of your pain is simply self-inflicted. You are looking to integrate with society without paying the price of conforming to at least its basic rules.

It's impossible for anyone to know, yes, but given your approach, I can pretty much guarantee 99.99% of your attempts will be frustrated. I don't have to be a fortune teller or the world's biggest expert in human relationships to say that to you. It's really evident. It's only you who live in a fantasy world, who can't (or won't) see it.

I've had girlfriends in the US even, about three of them. And in Russia, I found some girls that really liked me after about 5 or 6 months of failures and disappointments and empty dates. I finally met 3 girls that liked me: Alina, Marina and Jenya. You remember Marina, the blonde. I wasn't attracted to Alina much. But I was very attracted to Marina and Jenya. Earlier there were two that liked me too, but I wasn't into them.

So you see, in the US and in Russia, I've found attractive girls that liked me. In my last trip to Russia, it took 5 or 6 months to finally find that. So it took a long time, but not impossible. Do you understand? Logic says that if I could find something before, then I can find it again.

And yes, you did make absolute statements where you said it was impossible for me to get any dates or girls to like me in Europe. So you did make absolute statements that were invalid and cruel, and you ought to retract them and offer an apology too. Such statements are both cruel and immoral. And you should not be allowed to do that. Not to me or anyone else. Such behavior should not go unpunished man. You ought to be temporarily banned 5 days while you think about the immorality and cruelty of what you did.

You had girlfriends in the US and Russia when you were in your early twenties. You were younger, Russia and perhaps even the US were different back then. You had other posters echoing my doubts, too. Given who you are now in terms of age, looks and attitude, and given the state of European countries right now, where people are afraid of the neighbour and populism is rampant (mainly in the countries you want to visit...Ukraine, Poland, Hungary, Romania!), you won't find much satisfaction.

You keep thinking that since you did something 20 years ago, you can still do it now with the same ease. You have changed, the world has changed. If your way of thinking (and acting!) doesn't keep up, it's gonna be no good my friend.

Instead of saying "X person will never get any dates or find any girls that like him in X country" why not put it like this:

"Winston, it will not be easy to find a pretty girl in Europe who likes you for you. It's a longshot and the odds are against it. But who knows. Anything is possible and you could get lucky, since you have gotten lucky before. But the odds are low and it will not be easy. So be prepared for that."

So how much more tactful and reasonable and honest that sounds? That's how normal men talk. They do not say that "it's impossible for x person to get any dates or girls in x country" etc. No one talks like that.

Alright... "Winston, it will not be easy to find a pretty girl in Europe who likes you for you. It's a longshot and the odds are against it. But who knows. Anything is possible and you could get lucky, since you have gotten lucky before. But the odds are low and it will not be easy. So be prepared for that."

How does sweetening the pill change reality? I thought you were an adult who can face reality and, since you are a self-confessed "truth seeker", you were looking for the truth. You show me that you're just another deluded guy looking for validation against his narrative and any criticism that has the power to dent that narrative gets you all upset.

You might not like the comparison, but that's not that different from sad Roosh and his dying forum.

Please think about it and meditate on it. I ought to ban you for 5 days so you can meditate on the wrongness of what you did. Your cruelty, immorality, and unwarranted statements. Prisoners in jail also reflect on the wrongness of their ways. So should you PD. Perhaps some jail time would do you good.

So what will it be? Will you retract your absolute statements and apologize now like any good honest man would? Or should I ban you for 5 days so you can meditate and reflect on your wrongful cruel words and behavior?

Choose one please.

I will apologise if my tones have been too direct and rough. I insist that you need a wake-up call, even if it's a rude awakening from your version of reality. You are right that I am not your parents or closest "advisors" and I have no right to "bitch-slap" you. I am just saddened that none of these people (including your parents) have done it before.

So, apologies if I had the bronze face to step up in an anonymous forum like the boy from the tale and shout "the king is naked". Your reaction over all these threads, these rivers of words typed and adrenaline poured, showed me that you have no intention whatsoever to change anything in your life and are heading right into where you don't want to be, ignoring any warning signs.

If these apologies are not enough and you want to ban me, for 1 day or 5, rest assured, I will never be back.

A couple of days ago I even talked to C about whether it would be a good thing to continue to help you or just drop it there. She is young and she doesn't know you but I really needed a "female perspective" opinion. She told me what anyone else would have told me in this circumstance: you're an adult and if by now you haven't got the memo, you will never get it. She said it's too late for you to change in any meaningful way. And I thought she was right.

I didn't follow her advice and I am still here, talking to you. If I am insisting on the same point, yes, I might be a sadistic person, a sociopath, a psychopath, even. But if I am not, why do you think I keep banging on this nail?

I don't understand how you can be president of the rotary club in Manila. Shouldn't that require leadership skills and a balanced fair mind?

I asked you to leave my Rotary involvement out of this and you aren't doing it. Since you're asking for it, let me give you a background. The Rotary is informed by the basic principle of "service above self". That mean, selfless help. Everything else is shaped up by the individual mix of personalities and skills that form every Club around the world. To make things more specific, every year the President (me in this case, and my Club is in Davao, not Manila) is called to steer the Club on projects and directions that most match his areas of expertise (IT in my case) and, to a lesser extent, his personal beliefs.

Regardless of what I do or don't do with Rotary, my personal beliefs on this matter are that you need to be slapped back to consciousness, back from your personal fantasy revolving around stuff you did 10,15, even 20 years ago.

My personal beliefs say that you are a man in his mid-40s and if you don't set your act straight and gain the social respect you need, you are basically condemning yourself to a life as a solitary backpacker, begging for whatever form of human interaction you can find on the road. Once in a while you'll meet a girl who is young enough and decent looking enough to tickle your ego, you will have a simple conversation, maybe a couple of pics with her and her friends, and you will rejoice as if this encounter defined your social life, as if it marked your success as a "happier abroad".

And when someone like me will, very occasionally, remind you that a simple conversation with a girl, or a day spent with a fellow tourist roaming town and talking about spiritual stuff, doesn't mean much in terms of long-standing social relationship, you will keep saying "well, it's better than nothing".

What really appalls me, Winston, is that a man of your self-confessed intelligence and sensitivity is strongly keeping on this "path of least resistance" lifestyle. If you're looking for a 20-yo blonde hottie but you're happy to settle for a desperate single mom who's selling her body in Angeles, if you decant the virtues of friendship but are happy to surround yourself with people who, academic discussions apart, won't really do anything to help change and improve, then you really are a beggar. And one beyond redemption.

Also, I do not see you as being very credible or wise, because:

1. You are a feminist right? You admitted it before too. What does that mean exactly?
2. You believe that racial differences don't exist, only cultural differences do.

Hence I definitely would not consider you credible nor would I consider you an advisor. My real advisors like Rock and Mr S for instance, can easily see that racial differences exist. It's a no brainer. We all instinctually know they do. So you seem to deny your own instincts, which is a bad sign. Therefore I definitely don't hold your advice in high esteem, especially since you enjoy being cruel and hurting others. Even Rock can see that you do. That's the mark of a sadist, not a true friend.

Another childish statement from you. First, I am not a feminist, I believe in intellectual parity between men and women, that with all the biological and social nuances of being a man or woman. That doesn't mean being a feminist.

Then, I find your statement about racial differences in intelligence or reasoning as antiquated and baseless. What's worse, you are not prepared to believe my advice because you don't agree on something totally different and unrelated.

So you only believe people who agree 100% on what you think? Wow, that's maturity

We have already established that you prefer the kind of "soft" advice that, literally, gets you nowhere. I thought I didn't have to persuade you, I thought the facts were sufficient. In other words, I thought I would be an adult speaking to another adult. Apparently I am not. I am sorry, but I am not going down to your level.

I stated the facts and advised you to change, whether you're planning to live in Europe or to stay in the Philippines. If you don't want to follow it and want to keep living in La-la land, it's not my problem.

I don't know Mr S that well, but Rock's opinion on my mental health is the ultimate pot and kettle case. Let's agree to laugh about it, not to start another (pointless) polemic.[/quote]

Do you claim to be neutral and unbiased? Do you not like Asian men dating white girls? You should admit that you have some bias. You certainly don't sound neutral.

LOL so that's what you think about me? That I am cockblocking any Asian from dating "my kind"? There's nothing wrong with Asians dating white girls. It's not about race or culture, ultimately it's about what one can offer to the other. You are too self-centred and unable/unwilling to commit. You are not prepared to put the effort in changing yourself to any appreciable extent. Why would any serious woman, regardless of race and skin colour, want to date you? Because of your self-proclaimed gifts of intellect, charm and charisma?

Race has absolutely nothing to do with it. You want to continue to live your life as a tourist on mom & pop's money, That's fine by me. Just, don't complain that you can't find quality social relationships including love.

Anyway, I've been itching to go back to Europe since 2006. So I gotta scratch my itch and go back there at some point soon. Or else the itch will always itch. You understand that? Also I haven't been able to control my life since 2012 so I've lost like 5 or 6 years already being stuck in Taiwan constantly, because some force wouldn't let me go to China to find a wife. Perhaps for my own good. It could be that God or my guardian angels knew that if I had gone to China and married one of my prospects back in 2012, I would be miserable now and regret it and feeling like a prisoner now with no freedom, and living a life of servitude to wife and family. It certainly would have disallowed me from going back to Europe to explore to my soul's desire. So perhaps the universe had a reason to thwart my plans. Did you consider that?

"Some force" is your laziness and the fact you have got it easy in Taiwan, where you can live with your parents and in AC, where life is cheap and you can satisfy your sexual needs any time you want by popping to Fields Avenue.

Instead of believing to dark forces, deamons and angels, I prefer saying that marrying a Chinese young woman would have required to become responsible for yourself and for your new family unit. Which, from what I understand, is something you're not prepared to, yet. So, in a way, yes, it was a good thing for you not to marry your Chinese prospect.

Yet, it's got nothing to do with God or the Universe. You're simply not ready or unwilling to commit so you decided not to pursue your Chinese wife idea when you had a chance. Everything, absolutely everything, starts and ends with you.

As for being "a prisoner with no freedom to explore". I believed that, too, up to some point in my life. I was looking to fulfil my escapist dream and crushed what was left of my relationship with my ex-wife to gain "freedom" to pursue my business and reboot my love life here in the Philippines. A mere year into this kind of lifestyle I realised that, well, one can be a prisoner of freedom, if freedom doesn't have a real purpose. Freedom need to teach us something, to be useful. If not, it's perhaps better to follow our vocation as "social/relational animals". But in order to do so, we need to know the basic tenets and expectations of society and get out of Fantasy Land.

You keep assuming that I'm a settle down type of guy. But ask @momopi. He said that some people are clouds, some are grass and some are trees. Cloud people are not meant to settle down, they always live for new adventures and experiences. They are like nomads. I probably am a cloud type. See the thread about that here: viewtopic.php?f=40&t=12729

If you're a "cloud type", indeed if you can afford to be one, then how is that lifestyle choice compatible with finding a stable relationship, or even a stable social circle? I don't object your decision to spend your life making new discoveries and mingling with different cultures (for as much as they are still different, in this globalised world), but then you need to come to terms with the pros and cons of that decision. You can't have a cake and eat it.

Again, this is entirely my opinion now, but I do have the feeling that all you have been using this new age-like philosophical notions to justify your current state of things and not move by an inch. This is the kind of self-indulgence I am criticising. This is the "dark force" that doesn't allow you to move forward.

Also, I don't know if you believe in reincarnation or not, but I feel like I have past lives in Europe and I want to discover who I was and find what my roots were again. It's a soul desire you may not be able to understand. But don't think that just because you don't understand or relate to something, that it must be nonsense. Humans tend to reject what they don't understand. Your third eye or pineal gland is probably not open either, that's why you are not spiritual at all and act like a man with low consciousness. No offense. But you are what you are. You definitely are not a higher consciousness man for sure.

See the arrogance? I do believe in reincarnation, we even talked about it during our WA audio chat a few weeks ago. And just because I don't believe to the same new age theories you believe in, I am automatically non-spiritual and "low consciousness"? Just because you don't have to work and have time to view countless videos and read a few books about philosophy and spirituality, doesn't imply that you are of a "higher consciousness" than anyone else here.

Look, I don't take offense on this because, clearly, you entire recent life has been predicated on big delusion and all you do and say is a product of that delusion at work. All I say is that you seem to look down on anyone who is trying to make concrete steps to build their lives based on some social norm. Your cousins are boring and dumb because they've been focussing on their career and family. I am "low consciousness" because I am in the Philippines and working to (re)build myself professionally, which does involve building a modicum of social respect and reputation.

These are all things you won't understand, Winston. So long mom & pop's money keep you living on your delusional ivory tower, you will continue to look down on anybody who can't afford to be a "free spirit" like you. Only, once again, do not complain if you feel ignored, rejected, ridiculed by the rest of society. You are treating "them" not that differently.

Btw I've been rejected by thousands of girls. I am used to it. It's nothing new. Why do you act like I will be bothered by it or frustrated by it? I'm almost numb to it by now. It's not gonna make me unhappy or hurt me. Especially since I am more happy and alive in Europe. I know myself better than you do you know.

You don't want to get me started on the dangers of trying those cheap PUA approaches. A rejection from young girls you might want to approach on the street might be the least pain you may end up getting. You need to be careful their boyfriends of friends, of even the police, do not intervene.

This is perhaps another failed mental trick taught by the PUA scene, I guess: that it's just a "number's game" and if you approach a large number of girls, one or two are bound to say yes. It's like saying, if you smash your head on a large number of walls, you will eventually find a wall that's soft enough for your head to crash through it. Everybody else would just get a drill or a hammer.

Change approach! Look sharp and physically in shape, find the kinds of women who are the most likely to accept you for a relationship and find ways to get to know them when/where they expect it: surely not in a mall or on a street.

Again, maybe I am too mainstream to understand the subtle art of picking-up

Btw besides local men, there are always eccentric expats in Europe who like to talk to people too. Those types will always talk to me. Kind of like Jester. You met him so you know what I mean. He can talk your ear off if you don't stop him. There are many travelers who are like that who will talk your ear off at a pub or wherever. Lots of eccentric types of people are traveling too you know. And they will always talk to a stranger.

Eccentric expats make for a good and enjoyable conversation when you see the "quality side" of their eccentricity. Case on point, poor old Jester, he's a good man but once the veneer of joviality and open-mindedness disappears, for any of a number or reasons I won't enumerate here, what you're left with is a man with a tod too much pride, a short fuse and a reluctancy to at least understand the basic rules of modern society.

Not all people you meet during traveling are short lived. Some turn into real friendships. A certain percentage do. That's my experience.

Yes you are right. Elderly people are a lot easier to talk to and relate to, unless they are grumpy. Older people are a lot more down to earth and like talking to me because I'm an old soul and good listener. They aren't airheadish and are more authentic since they aren't trying to be cool or fit in or be liked. I also get along well with older people who have a lot of travel experience and stories to share. I've met all types of people.

Also I don't mind spending some time alone too. I can be a hermit or loner for a while too, if I need to. It's nothing new to me. It's not like I can't handle that man. Don't you know that? I have a lot of experience in life you know. I'm not a newbie at all this. And I know myself very well too.

Good for your if you can bear solitude well. Yet my question is: why be lonely when it's just the matter of finding the right kinds of people and ways to appoach and interact with them? You don't have to be lonely.

Look man. The reason I went to Philippines was because I had made three long trips to Russia already and needed a change of place. That was my thought back in 2006. Now I feel the same way about Asia. Been there too long since 2007. Need a change of venue again, just like I did in 2006 when I decided to try SE Asia and Philippines instead of Russia again. Do you understand? If I didn't return to Russia because it was time to try something new in 2006, why can't I feel the same again this time? It's time to try something new. If someone like me or Mr S are tired of SE Asia, why do you want to try to force us to stay there? Why can't you let us follow our heart? Spiritual teachers all say we should listen to our feelings and heart and soul. They are probably right. Why do you think you are more right than they are? Geez.[/quote]

You have a right to be tired about anything. I personally like hot climates much more than cold weather, but it's a personal consideration.

You went to Russia, found one or two good girls and passed them by. The rest of your experience was just basically approaching random girls and not feeling the pain of rejection due to them being polite. Then you moved to the Philippines where you realised that, apart from Dianne, you didn't like any Filipina and few Filipinas (beyond those with an agenda to extract money or meals from you) liked you. Plus you didn't like the cultural vibe, on which I agree, albeit here in Manila it's quite a bit better than Whoreville.

Now you are planning to move to Europe (Ukraine? Poland? Spain?) hoping that the different kinds of vibe there will put you in the state of mind, or "state of luck" to find everything that you couldn't find in Russia in your 20s and Philippines in your 30s.

Following your heart and soul is a good thing. I for one did and will never regret it. Yet, at some point, your rational mind has to be engaged and spit out a reasonable answer to the question: what can I realistically expect this time?

Yes I agree that joining a charity or volunteer work might be good in Europe for meeting people and getting involved in the community. But what about joining an amateur theatre troupe? I love acting. So since my confidence will be higher in Europe, it's something I can pursue again. Plus I heard that Prague has a lot of extra work in American films. I've done extra work before, it's easy and fun and you get paid at least minimum wage.

Why not? Anything that gives you an excuse to have a social circle.

However, I can enjoy sightseeing alone too and start conversations with strangers in cafes and restaurants. I am content doing that too. I've done that before and can do it again.

Anyway please try to understand me and be reasonable and stop making extreme statements and come to a middle ground. You also gotta lower your pride and man up and apologize for your cruel, hurtful statements that are unwarranted and could have been expressed much more tactfully. Ask yourself how YOU would feel if someone made such cruel hurtful statements to you too. Then perhaps you will understand why that is wrong to do.

Thanks.

Man, if you got all hurt because I tried to give you some reality check, how are you gonna feel when reality actually comes "visit" you? Or maybe your coping mechanisms are better at accepting reality when you see it, than when you haven't seen it yet?

After all I have been writing to you, even just this post above, you still think my intention was to hurt you out or cynicism, or evil?

Sure, I could have used more tact, but if even the full facts couldn't move you...what chance would have a softer conversation had? Even like this, I think you will never really move to Europe for good. Maybe you'll pay a short trip, see the situation for what it really is and go back to Taiwan, or the Philippines.

I have given up hopes that you make any concrete steps to be more satisfied about your social and love life. You're not sowing good seeds and, as they say, you end up reaping what you sow.

P.S. - Btw can you please unblock me from your WhatsApp so we can talk on the phone about this and resolve this disagreement? Blocking me there is cowardly. I didn't block you here in the forum, so why should you block me there?

What? I never blocked you on WA. In fact I wrote you a few lines 2 days ago, which according to WA you haven't read yet.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Haven't you got what you deserved, too: perfect solitude and bitterness?

@

[gsjackson]

Taking up a quixotic cause of my dearly departed grammarian father, I must insist on the proper construction of the cake metaphor. If you have your cake you can in fact eat it, but if you eat it you cannot then have it. So the proper construction: You can't eat your cake and have it too.

The other rhetorical windmill he regularly tilted at: the misplaced "only." E.g., saying "I only have five miles to go," rather than "I have only five miles to go."

[Cornfed]

Taking up a quixotic cause of my dearly departed grammarian father, I must insist on the proper construction of the cake metaphor. If you have your cake you can in fact eat it, but if you eat it you cannot then have it. So the proper construction: You can't eat your cake and have it too.

The other rhetorical windmill he regularly tilted at: the misplaced "only." E.g., saying "I only have five miles to go," rather than "I have only five miles to go."

Dude sounds like the kind of guy that wanted to use “hopefully” as an adjective in the old way. Like “I believe I shall one day marry a rich man” the girl said hopefully. I think the codgers eventually gave up on that one.

[gsjackson]

Taking up a quixotic cause of my dearly departed grammarian father, I must insist on the proper construction of the cake metaphor. If you have your cake you can in fact eat it, but if you eat it you cannot then have it. So the proper construction: You can't eat your cake and have it too.

The other rhetorical windmill he regularly tilted at: the misplaced "only." E.g., saying "I only have five miles to go," rather than "I have only five miles to go."

Dude sounds like the kind of guy that wanted to use “hopefully” in as an adjective in the old way. Like “I believe I shall one day marry a rich man” the girl said hopefully. I think the codgers eventually gave up on that one.

I believe he did come to early despair at the prospect of a return to rectitude on that one. Ditto for ending a sentence with a preposition and split infinitives.

Will no one think of the tens of millions of people trying to learn English as a second language? What must they think is going on, for example, with the insertion about every fourth word of "like" in spoken American English?

PS: I believe hopefully is an adverb in your example, not an adjective.

[Cornfed]

Ditto for ending a sentence with a preposition and split infinitives

Is there any native English reason not to do that or is it entirely based on Latin grammar?

[gsjackson]

Ditto for ending a sentence with a preposition and split infinitives

Is there any native English reason not to do that or is it entirely based on Latin grammar?

Dunno.

[OutWest]

Taking up a quixotic cause of my dearly departed grammarian father, I must insist on the proper construction of the cake metaphor. If you have your cake you can in fact eat it, but if you eat it you cannot then have it. So the proper construction: You can't eat your cake and have it too.

The other rhetorical windmill he regularly tilted at: the misplaced "only." E.g., saying "I only have five miles to go," rather than "I have only five miles to go."

Supposedly Winston Churchill was corrected by one of his aids as he used the common retort that thus and so was something he would not put up with. His response?
"Up with that I will not put!"

[publicduende]

Taking up a quixotic cause of my dearly departed grammarian father, I must insist on the proper construction of the cake metaphor. If you have your cake you can in fact eat it, but if you eat it you cannot then have it. So the proper construction: You can't eat your cake and have it too.

The other rhetorical windmill he regularly tilted at: the misplaced "only." E.g., saying "I only have five miles to go," rather than "I have only five miles to go."

Supposedly Winston Churchill was corrected by one of his aids as he used the common retort that thus and so was something he would not put up with. His response?
"Up with that I will not put!"

Console yourself considering how low English semantics was pushed by certain "creole" expressions minted in the Philippines.

One for all..."buy one take one". So what's the benefit...I buy one and I take the one I buy. In the UK they say "buy one get one FREE", which does go a long way to clarify.

[waylon mercy]

do you have to have game or social skills to date a foreign woman thats attractive? does it depend on the country?

[Darrell_Johnston]

I think that publicduende is both harshly and scarily reasonable in his predictions and assessments.

I have had a similar discussion with winston on the same subject and I was unable to make a dent in persuasion either.

He told me that he would like to settle down and couldn't figure out why he hasn't yet, to which I suggested that his international wannabe playboy lifestyle is going to be one of the biggest blockers of finding a long term committed relationship. A woman who wants to settle is craving security and stability and Winstons current lifestyle strategy doesn't accommodate for either. So, to maximise his chances, he would need to make a trade off......do you want to be a wild international womanising playboy or do you want to settle? You cant have both. It would be too difficult for a woman to trust him to stick around when they can clearly see that he has done nothing but move around and try to pick up girls for 20 years.....why would she choose a man with that lifestyle over say....a man who runs his own business in her city, is tied down to the country by his investments and is predictable and steady?. Not to even mention if any woman googles his name they will easily find endless videos and photos of him hanging out in brothels which isn't exactly going to be very appealing to a decent minded woman. Even if he took down his site and all his youtube videos......he has still generated enough web attention from other creators who have documented him, so still lots of dirt is going to pop up that won't work in his favour.

He argued that I can not predict what will happen......and this is true. He would like to predict that he will meet a girl who will share the passion for traveling and they can have a romantic road relationship......and this would be nice, hopefully that will happen. But I think based on his age and lack of past luck, this is a very high hoped dream.

If he really wants to settle over being a wild partied out old man backpacker at aged 50 and hanging out with 20 year olds in hostels trying to fit in, his best bet would be to abandon the backpacker scene and find one city or town that he really likes and create a home there, learn the language if he doesnt already know it, take on some sort of work.....either paid or voluntary and get involved with the local community......then he will have all the trappings of a stable man who is serious about his future. When I meet girls in Vietnam, most of them ask me nearly straight away how long I will be in the country, they are not saying it just for the sake of asking, they are sussing me out to see if I am worth their time and effort, they are looking for long term and stable and they are wary of foreign men who are well known to come, love and leave.

However, if he chooses to remain a free spirit......that is perfectly fine.....he will still enjoy his life, it seems he has enough resources to keep him self floating thanks to the family pool which is great for him. The important thing is to not let a craving for a life partner make him feel desperate, if he feels like he HAS TO find "the one" he faces the danger of putting pressure on himself to find it......and make an emotional decision rather than rational one which could cause him to settle for someone who is not compatible. If he gets her pregnant or tied to her, he could open up a world of heartache and misery.

[momopi]

It’s not your responsibility to “persuade” Winston.

It’s Winston’s responsibility to decide what he wants and take action to peruse it.

The rest of us can help by terminating most off-topic discussions and narrow/focus on a singular path to Europe for Winston.

[Zambales]

Being a fellow Piscean I can relate to Winston with his penchant for freedom and the desire to meet different women. We also yearn intimacy and even though we enjoy the unrestricted lifestyle without committing to a relationship we can feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied. Basically, we're damn hard to please and unless a strong enough female wanders into our lives who can tame us, have our best interests at heart, can match us for intimacy, and fit into our world like a glove, we'll most likely carry on meandering between women.

We're renowned for being loose cannons, dreamers and drifters who find it hard to pull ourselves out of a rut should our lives start going around in circles - and that isn't a particular endearing trait to have when the opposite sex who are seeking a meaningful relationship are concerned.

Winston.

Read up about Capricorn women as they tend to make very good partners for us Piscean men but most importantly set yourself goals to propel yourself forward.

[eurobrat]

I fail to see how Winston moving to Europe or anywhere will make him more diserable by the opposite sex. But if love is not the goal or end game then I suppose he will be alright.

[anabolic]

ok but when the rubber meets the road you failed to have sex with all of these women ? I thought that was the goal ?