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Hi everyone, I am new to the Happier Abroad community. I am planning to look for a foreign woman to date and eventually marry. I will soon be in touch with Mexican women, and I am also thinking of trying to date women in Eastern Europe and Asia. However, I am worried that many of the women that I could attract might only be interested in me because they want a green card and/or US citizenship. Of course, I don't mind if a woman considers a green card and/or US citizenship to be an incentive for marrying me, but I would ideally like her to be attracted to me, both physically and in terms of my personality. Otherwise, I'm worried that she will divorce me as soon as she has the opportunity to do so, or that she will remain married to me but will be unpleasant and unaffectionate toward me. Does anyone have advice for tests that I can do to determine if a woman is genuinely interested in me?
Ideally? 100% she has to. Period!
The way I see it, locating to a more prosperous country should be seen as a bonus to her and not a priority. My advice would be to get to know her properly over a couple of years and don't get too emotionally involved. A lot of these foreign women put on a facade initially putting you into a false sense of security.
There is no guarantee. Heifers are fickle creatures whose emotions and feelings change constantly. There is no guarantee she will still want you in 6 months. Their word and commitment doesnt mean much to them, just their emotions.
Like anything to do with women it is a risk.even if she does really like you today.
A woman going for you to get into the USA is no different than a local one going for you because of your house, your car, your career, lifestyle etc. Men may go for looks but women go for security. Looks fade. Your best bet is don'the put all your eggs in one basket and only expose what you are prepared to lose to them. For example, buy a house in a trust BEFORE marriage and before they move in. Then the house is not yours but a family trust.
Make sure she adds value and contributes to life before you commit to anything.
If the purpose is to have children, make sure she is of your race. You don't want to end up raising kids not of your race alone later and no other woman will look at you then. Besides the fact that race mixing is miscegenation and kills your race and is as disgusting as fark.
You can look up some body language videos on YouTube to find this out. There are things about how they turn their body to you, exposing their neck to you in the way they position their heads. Touching their hair is a sign of attraction. I'm thinking of physical attraction, which may not be the same as being 'really interested' in you, depending on how you define your terms.
I didn't catch on to when girls liked me until I got a bit late in my '20's. Also, if I did not find a girl attractive, she just wasn't on my radar and I didn't pick up on clues that she liked me. Maybe I was a bit insensitive, but I couldn't tell if the girls I found more attractive liked me. But when I was living in Indonesia, a lot of girls seemed interested and I started picking up on it. That, and Indonesian women can be kind of bad about hiding interest, kind of like middle school girls.
I think a lot of Americans are too suspicious of foreigners. It's kind of ethnocentric to think that everyone in the world in all those other countries just wants to move to the US and get a greencard. I've met a few Indonesians that talk about that. But for a woman, doesn't it make more sense to fantasize about marrying a rich doctor and NOT working? Some foreign women are kind of traditional and want a man who supports them, so would they fantasize about getting a greencard and working at Walmart or some factory until their feet hurt and back ache?
If you look for a girlfriend online who says she is looking for a foreign husband, the chances of finding one who wants a greecard or who just wants to scam a man out of money is probably higher than if you go to a foreign country, meet a girl through normal social activities, and then start dating her.
In Indonesia, there are girls who are attracted to white men. They like the look of white men. There is some status attached to an international marriage, too. The Dutch colonized Indonesia, and they were white, of course. So whites were in charge and were high status for a long time. But a lot of it is just what they are attracted to, just like some men like Asian women.
In the US, you could find a girl who is a gold digger. Or you could find a girl who just wants someone to date who isn't committed. Or you could find a girl who is committed as long as you give her the butterflies in her stomach. When the hormonal high wears off, she's out the door on to the next guy. So you should try to find a girl who likes you for who you are, but one who also has a good set of values when it comes to marriage and relationships. Find a girl who doesn't have a fairly common mix of romanticized thoughts about relationships combined with low commitment. Find one who thinks a marriage 'takes work' and you stay together no matter what and work on it to make it work out, who also likes you for you. Also, find a girl who is faithful and doesn't cheat. If the relationship gets rocky for a while, she stays with you and does divorce.
It is okay if a girl is traditional and thinks a man is supposed to support her financially as long as she does her part in the relationship, provides her man with what he needs, and takes care of him.
If she's willing to spend time with you and makes time for you, then that's a strong indicator. Also her body language. does she look at you when you talk? Does she look away? Are her arms always crossed? If so then she's uncomfortable. Does she like holding hands?
A girl that likes you projects a certain vibe. You can feel it. Just like you can feel when someone despises you too. Trust your gut instinct
Also tell her you want to live in her country and not in America and see what she says. That is a good test. A normal decent girl isn't gonna have a problem with that. And tell her you are not rich or poor, just average. Thats another good test of her character.
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
I find western women easier to decipher in terms of them being genuinely interested. The trouble with this genuine interest is that it might not be in a proper relationship capacity but more as a "bit of fun" and because of this you can get hung out to dry at the drop of a hat.
With foreign women they are far less likely to play the field and jump ship and they can seem genuinely interested - but what in? You, or what you can do for them? That's the million dollar question and it can't be answered overnight.
In some countries, interest in dating is interest in potential marriage. I was talking with one of my wife's Indonesian relatives in her early 20's. She said in college, dating couples would call each other the equivalent of 'mom' and 'dad', as if they were married. They acted like they were getting ready to marry. She broke up with her boyfriend, and they used to call each other that.
Dating tends to be marriage-focused in Indonesia. There are exceptions of course. I'm thinking of nice innocent virgin young women rather than party good time girls.
Yeah, that's a good idea. I'm not the best at reading body language, but I'll try. But even then, I've found that body language can be misleading. I've gone on dates with women who were touching their hair a lot during the date, but they still turned me down for a second date.
This is a good idea. However, I would need a plausible reason why I would move to her country, or it might seem like I am trying to test her and that I don't trust her. Maybe I could instead make a joke about moving to hear country, like "The weather is really bad where I live. Maybe I should move to Mexico where it will be warmer!" If she laughs, that would be a good sign, but it she seems concerned, that would be a bad sign.